God, she was magnificent. She’d blown up his world from the moment he’d seen her walking down the back alley of his grandmother’s brownstone. Even though he’d tried like hell to deny it, to act as if she was just like any other girl, he’d suspected all along she was something different. Something more. And last night … she’d never once acted shocked by what he’d told her, never once shied away from his touch. She took it all in and accepted it, and she was still in his arms all these hours later. That unfurled a whole new set of emotions that were now twisting inside him, hard and sure. Almost unconsciously, he felt his hands flex, though what he was feeling was nowhere close to anger. It had that same bigness though, that same sense that it could fill him up and have nowhere left to go.
Anna’s curls were swept up over her head, and her usually concerned face was now relaxed. Since she’d kicked off their sheets at some point during the night, her long body was exposed to his hungry eyes, and he smiled softly as he took in the faded college T-shirt, the black lounge pants. He knew she’d packed brand-new lingerie, but last night, after they’d made out in the ocean and then gradually worked their way back to their clothes and the beach house, she’d automatically gone for the clothes she clearly found most comfortable for bed. His heart seemed to fold in on itself, and his gaze narrowed, seeing only Anna’s face. Not her luxurious body with all of its curves, but her softly closed eyes, her smile, the natural beauty of her.
Jake experienced an overwhelming urge to cradle her close. He hadn’t realized how worried she looked all the time until now, when her face was a blank canvas.
At that moment, Anna opened her eyes, and a grumbled humph on the floor drew their attention. Jake grinned as he nodded toward the rumpled form of Todd Moreland. The douche bag had still been dead to the world when they’d gotten back to their room, and Jake had been too full of goodwill to deal with him. Let him figure out where he was when he woke up.
“Don’t wake the baby,” he whispered, as Anna’s sleepy gaze met his. She smiled, and the sudden desire to have Anna in his arms for longer than just the weekend struck him out of the blue.
“Hey,” she said. She nodded to the window. “Pretty day. What time is it?”
“Just after eight.” Jake swung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his jaw. He’d have to shave today—big wedding and all. Still, shaving on a Saturday should be outlawed. He looked at Anna, not wanting her to move, wanting her to stay with her feet tangled in the sheets, her hair tumbled around her, the loose collar of her T-shirt exposing a warm scoop of neck and collarbone.
Then he looked again at Todd lying on the floor. Todd was not going to be having a good morning. He’d consumed one too many bottles of champagne, the last apparently ending up mainly on his dress shirt. They’d pushed a pillow under his head and thrown a spare comforter over him. Jake had managed to coerce Anna into sleeping curled up in his arms, even though she was worried about Todd waking up in the night. So, he was actually feeling a little charitable toward the douche bag.
Now Jake looked back to Anna. “You want coffee or something?”
“Oh my God, coffee,” Anna moaned. “Why didn’t we bring your machine with us?”
“No room on the bike.”
“Still.” She made a movement to sit up and failed at the attempt, and Jake chuckled.
He stood and walked over to the saddlebag to fish out jeans and a T-shirt. “I’ll be right back with the strongest java I can find.” He jerked a thumb toward Todd. “If he wakes up, tell him he’s on his own.”
Anna’s “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you,” followed him down the hallway, and he shook his head. He was getting coffee, not panning for gold. How would she react if he did something that actually mattered?
He was still smiling when he walked into the kitchen. To his surprise, Kristen the bride-to-be stood at the sink, holding a kettle underneath a stream of tap water.
“Morning,” he said, his voice still raspy. “Should I ask if you’re ready for the big day? Or are you sick of that question already?”
Kristen smiled, fatigue evident on her face. “Hey there, Jake. You have a good time last night?”
“It was just about perfect.” Jake saw the coffee setup, a machine designed to placate a crowd, but he noted that the flavors on hand were pretty pedestrian. Still, he wasn’t going to complain. It was coffee, and based on everything else sitting next to it, it wasn’t going to suck. He shook his head, scanning the tidy row of spoons, a carafe of cream, a half-dozen bottles of flavored syrup, and a bowl of sugar, all lined up neatly beside the machine. “You guys don’t do anything by halves, do you.”
Kristen sat the kettle on the stove, then turned around to look at him. “Okay, Jake,” she said, and he suppressed a wince as he prepped his first cup of coffee. He knew that voice, even if he hadn’t had to hear it for the last five years or so. He had an entire family full of women who’d perfected that voice. It was the voice of a nosy sister/cousin/mother/aunt, and he was trapped alone with it for at least the next few minutes, held hostage by the coffeemaker.
“Yup?” He snapped the machine closed, turning around to face Kristen, knowing that his easy smile took her a little off her game. That was just fine by him. It had always had the same effect on his sisters/cousins/mother/aunts as well. Good to know he hadn’t lost his touch.
“Assuming you are actually the guy Anna says you are, and not some well-meaning friend she coerced into coming down for the weekend, can I ask what your intentions are with her?”
Jake lifted his brows. “Intentions? You sound like her dad.”
“Well, she doesn’t have a dad, so I’ll have to do.”
Jake nodded. Anna’d said she’d only been fifteen when her dad had died, but come to think of it, she hadn’t really said much about her life in the aftermath of his death. Just that things had been bad. How bad? Because she must have had family—aunts, uncles, that sort of thing. Surely she and her mom hadn’t been truly alone. “I think it’s safe to say I have only the best of intentions where Anna is concerned,” he said.
Kristen opened a cabinet as he sat the second empty cup in the machine. She yanked out a box of tea packets. “You guys have only been dating six months, right?”
“Something like that.”
“So she probably doesn’t even trust you yet.” Kristen waved off his raised eyebrows. “It’s not you, believe me. Anna has spent her entire adult life screwing up real relationships. I know, since I lived with her through a couple of them. She focuses all her energy on work, has since the first day I met her. Back then it was school, now it’s the job. I get it—things were rough when her dad died, they didn’t have much money. Her work is important to her. I get all of that.”
Irritation pricked Jake’s nerves. Standing here in this luxurious beach house with this woman who seemed perfectly gracious but was clearly well-off—could she really understand what Anna had gone through? Could anyone who hadn’t been there? Kristen was now going full throttle, though. “… but now she has money. Now her mom is remarried, her life is on track. Only Anna still keeps everyone at a distance. She won’t commit, won’t go all-in. She’s too afraid of … I don’t know what. So she buries herself in her work.”
“Got it. Thanks for the tip,” Jake said, trying not to bristle. Something in Kristen’s little spiel was bugging him, putting him on the defensive. If he were still a teenager, he’d say it made him want to put his fist through a wall. But he wasn’t a teenager. He didn’t do that anymore. Still, the more Kristen talked, the more he wanted to get back to Anna. He wanted to stop talking about her and just see her for himself. “I don’t think I’ve done anything to make her afraid, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
Kristen shrugged. “Oh, I can see that. That’s why I thought you were—and maybe are—a decoy. You’re really not her style.”
“And who is her style? Good ol’ Todd, who is still sleeping off his hangover on our bedroom floor?” Jake asked, the edge i
n his voice stronger than he intended it to be.
Kristen poured steaming water into her mug, and to his surprise, she laughed. “I wondered where he ended up. But, yeah. Usually she goes for guys who are as buttoned-up as she is. She’s a great person—driven and smart, but she’s also got a big heart, when she lets herself show it. She deserves a great guy.” She grinned at him when he rolled his eyes. “Look, Todd’s not a total asshole. He introduced me to my husband, and Scott hadn’t planned on settling down anytime soon. But sometimes it just happens that fast, and we owe it to Todd for bringing us together.” She waved her hand and the big rock on her ring finger caught the light. “But, still, he’s going to have to win Anna back on his own, if he wants to do that. He could, too, now that he’s working with her again. Or hadn’t you noticed that she practically lives at her office?”
Jake found himself counting to ten, to keep his anger in check. The idea of Todd making the moves on Anna when he wasn’t there was too much for him to tolerate. It was not going to happen. Anna might not want Jake to be in her life after this weekend—her life was on the other end of the world from his and he knew that, as much as it rankled—but she sure as hell didn’t need to end up with that asshole. If he needed to be the one to personally explain that fact to good ol’ Todd, he was more than willing to do so. In whatever language the guy heard most clearly. “Good to know,” he finally said, since Kristen was still looking at him, waiting for an answer.
“Yeah. But in case he is out of the picture, I should probably say this to you, too.” Kristen picked up her mug and plate from the counter, the orange-scented tea steaming in wispy tendrils around her face. “I don’t know if you’re just playing around, or if you’re the real deal. But please don’t break Anna’s heart, Jake. From what I’ve seen when she looks at you, you’re the only guy I’ve ever met who may have a chance at doing that.”
Chapter 15
“Excellent! I need all of the groomsmen now! We’ll do a serious, formal shot and then one that allows your personalities to shine through. Everyone over here, now!”
As the photographer continued to shout orders, Anna fiddled with her sky-blue dress, smoothing down the stiff fabric as she stared ruefully at the glittering monstrosity. Kristen’s mother had finally steamed it, to get out the last of the wrinkles. At least her bridesmaid ensemble was limited to just this billowy, satin mess. She could have been forced to carry a parasol.
But she still felt odd, out of sorts, and she had all day. Jake had come back from his morning coffee run strangely subdued, and they’d sat out on the veranda without talking about much of anything. When Kristen had swooped in not a half hour later to announce that she was commandeering Anna for bridesmaid’s duties, Jake had let her go with a friendly shrug and a smile, and it seemed to Anna way too polite. As if what had happened last night had really just been about having a good time on the beach, and in the warm light of morning he was just there to carry on a charade. As if he hadn’t told her serious secrets about his past—secrets she still wasn’t sure how to process. Did Jake still have anger issues? Did she have anything to worry about?
Of course she didn’t. They were hanging out for the weekend as part of a completely public wedding. What was he going to do, punch out the priest?
And of course what had happened last night had just been a hookup. Nothing more. She’d been telling herself that all morning. Todd, still vaguely hung over but recovering fast, had been around her the whole damn day, reminding her of this deadline or that. She knew, rationally, that it was because that’s all he had to talk to her about. While she and Jake had been downing coffee outside, Todd had woken up in their room and slunk away. She’d thought he’d have the good grace to stay subdued, but no such luck. Instead, he was acting like he hadn’t just embarrassed himself fifty-seven ways to Sunday, and it was only Saturday.
Now, finally, the wedding was underway. She’d ridden in the limo, secretly wishing she could have caught a ride on the back of Jake’s bike. Secretly wishing that he would have demanded that she ride with him, although of course that was ridiculous, and not his MO at all. Jake didn’t seem like the kind of guy who made demands. He showed up when he wanted, he took what he wanted, and he left when he wanted. After all, he was about to take off for Mexico, maybe for a year … just because. He didn’t need to worry about his job. Hell, his job wasn’t even a job—more like getting paid to tinker and play.
Then again, Jake also had been that kid who picked fights as a hobby, getting the stuffing beaten out of himself just because. The bully hunter. The lone defender. How did that square with everything else she knew about the guy? What really made him tick?
Whatever, it didn’t matter. The guy was everything she wasn’t. No responsibilities, no regrets. She couldn’t keep hanging out with him, or eventually she’d try to change him. To make him conform to a schedule, to live up to his potential. And that’d be no good. Eventually he’d resent her, maybe even grow to hate her.
Well, maybe hate was a bit much. But still, Anna needed to focus on what he was—her date. And not what he wasn’t—her boyfriend. She should just leave it at that and stop—
“Okay, now we need all the bridesmaids!” exclaimed the photographer.
Anna dutifully filed back out of the small chapel to pose in blue satin. Smiling, she noticed that her fairy-rose bouquet perfectly matched the pale-pink shade of polish she’d consented to have coated on her nails. She’d had to do something while the other girls were getting their hair tortured into elegant updo hairstyles that had ended up being more hairspray than hair. Anna had held firm about not having hers touched, other than to sweep it back off her head with a few clips.
The fact that she’d done so mainly to allow for the possibility of Jake’s hands in it later that night was very much beside the point.
But Jake hadn’t been at the guesthouse when they’d finally returned from the day at the spa. He’d been nowhere, actually, his bike gone and her own helmet sitting in the room, a lonely reminder of the great fun she should be having on a beautiful Saturday at the beach, instead of being poked and prodded, painted and primped. Where had he been the whole day, she wondered. Was he wandering down some other beach? Had he met some other vacationing girl? She wouldn’t have blamed him, of course. She had no hold on him, no reason to keep him with her beyond tomorrow afternoon.
God, was the end already in sight? Less than twenty-four hours away and poof! Her weekend would disappear like Cinderella’s coach.
“Turn a little to your left and look at Kristen,” called the photographer. Anna shook herself, following the woman’s lead and smiling toward the bride. She’d begun working out her good-bye conversation with Jake, trying somehow to get things back to normal. They’d have a nice evening tonight, she was pretty sure. He wouldn’t leave her hanging out at the reception by herself, especially around Todd. He really had taken a dislike to Todd, and Anna found that kind of … endearing, really. Sweet. Desirable.
Then again, she found everything about Jake desirable.
“Pull it together,” she muttered to herself. Jake was just a guy, had always been just a guy. He was nothing more than a glorified motorcycle mechanic who apparently had the kind of job that he could leave for several months at a time to do things like fix up his grandmother’s brownstone or travel across Mexico. He probably made just enough to get by, probably didn’t have insurance or, God forbid, a 401(k), probably hadn’t even begun to think about retirement or planning for the future—any kind of future—or what would happen if he crashed one of those enormous muscle bikes of his. He had a family, of course, and families generally wanted to be there for you, but what happened if they couldn’t be? Ultimately, you had to take care of yourself. You had to be the person in position to help others, not the person who always needed to be helped.
“Anna! We need you smiling, sweetheart. This is a wedding, remember?”
Kristen looked over, alarmed, and Anna forced her sunniest smile onto her
face. She really did need to focus. Today was not about her, it was about Kristen. Kristen, who was getting married to an even sharkier shark than Todd, in Anna’s opinion, but nevertheless. Her college roommate was happy. She had what she wanted—the big wedding in the South, surrounded by her friends and family. The ex-athlete husband who was slated to work as a Wall Street trader once he finished his fast-track MBA. Her own high-intensity job with a promotion that would follow the completion of her own MBA, golden handcuffs locking her down tight even though Kristen was only in her early twenties. Kristen and her soon-to-be husband had already picked out several different options for their future neighborhood, the apartment in New York that would be replaced by the condo overlooking Manhattan one day, which would in turn give way to the gorgeous home in Greenwich, complete with private schools, tennis friends, and island vacations. Kristen had it all worked out—and so did Anna, for that matter. She’d skipped the MBA and gone straight to work, but there was still the possibility of those three initials after her name in the future, and with it the lure of yet bigger assignments and yet more frequent-flyer miles, traveling around the world for work so she could, one day, travel around the world for fun.
Anna frowned. She sounded downright bitter! And she of all people had nothing to complain about. She had an amazing job, her mom was safe and secure, and she had her whole life in front of her. She pushed the negative thoughts out of her mind and moved through the rest of the poses for Kristen’s wedding pictures, from the ridiculous to the sublime. They completed the shoot just as music started playing, and everyone scuttled inside the chapel, flounces flying in the breeze.
“You first, then you, then you …” Kristen’s maid of honor, one of their mutual friends from school, lined up the bridesmaids with the hand of a pro. When she got to Anna, she smiled suddenly, fluffing Anna’s hair out from her shoulders and off her face.
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