by J. A. Huss
"Of course it's Lucan's mark. Inanna has no authority to mark for herself."
"She was not Lucan's, Tier. We are not happy about this development. In fact, I'd go so far as to say He is extremely pissed off. I've never seen him so angry."
"She's always been one of ours, Caleb. She came straight from Gyr."
"No, you're wrong. She is His, Tier. She came straight from Him and He is not happy."
Huh. So there it is. The confirmation I've been looking for. She was made by Him.
"I said," he enunciates, "He is not happy, Tier. You owe us now. A soul for a soul."
I grunt out a laugh. "You have three of my brothers, Caleb. You've gotten more than your share."
"We never wanted them, you know that, Tier. We had to take them because they were left unmarked by Lucan. Their gifts were sanctioned and we had no choice. So that is why we took Selia. She is the only pure thing you had to offer. But this unsanctioned claim will not be forgiven."
I've lost all my patience. "Who gives a shit, anyway? Do you think I give a fucking shit? She's fucking gone, Caleb!"
I take a very deep breath to bring the claws back in.
"I could intervene in this one instance. But we will take Junco afterward. I'd need Lucan's permission of course."
"Ah, you lowly piece of shit!" I point at him. "You know damn well I have the baby Junco, right? Because you were listening to my conversation with Lucan earlier. And now you know I am the sanctioned son. And you know Lucan wants Junco. Yet maybe you can persuade me to speak for him and give her up, is that why you're here?"
He holds his words.
"Fuck you." I get up and go back to the terrace wall and look down the beach again. "Fuck. You."
He joins me and starts his speech in a whisper. "We don't need your permission, Tier. Gideon has a claim, as do Subjack and Inanna. We could get her any of these other three ways."
"So take her." I turn and lean back on the railing, satisfied with my positioning for the first time in a very long time. "Take her if you can get her."
"She's stuck in the Pillar."
"Yeah, that was your man Gid's idea. And you think he's on your team?" I laugh.
"They've got a private agenda, those two. They're not playing by the rules."
I let out a long, loud laugh at this. "Really? Well, fuck. Who would've thought that Gid and Junco might have their own fucking plan? Huh? Who'd a thought that after more than two decades of bullshit, torture, and psychological damage that they might want some motherfucking revenge? Where the fuck have you been for the last twenty-two years, asshole? Where the fuck has He been?"
"You know the rules about interference."
I stare at him in a rage, my eyes lighting up the whole terrace. "Who is Gideon? Is he yours?" A small shake of the head is all I get, but I push. "Then who the fuck does he belong to?"
"He belongs to no one," Caleb starts, "for now."
"He's an Archer, Caleb. How the hell can he not be claimed?"
Silence.
"I know Inanna did his morph because Lucan sure as hell didn't. And if Inanna did his morph, then he'd be Lucan's warrior. And his scars are not Lucan's."
"Why not ask your father who he belongs to? Why me?"
"Because I know he's yours, asshole. What I don't know is how he managed to do that when Inanna's the one who morphed him."
"Gideon is special. He's a Seven, he's a Warrior, he's Saved, he's just special. And that's all you'll get out of me because it is against the rules to—"
"Against the rules?" I laugh so loud a few people down below actually look up at the apartment building. "Get the fuck off my terrace. In fact, get the fuck off my Goddamned island. My motherfucking planet. Do you hear me? Get the fuck out of my universe, you pathetic weaseling piece of shit. You think you can play innocent and blame this whole fucking mess on rules?"
His scowl is a warning that I respond to with fangs and knives.
"I'm not giving Junco up, how about that? Gideon won't give her up either, nor will Subjack, and even if Inanna wasn't stuck in the Pillar with her she'd want something in return, and we both know she's not getting that! I know all of this with one hundred percent certainty. I'm yer last resort, aren't I? Ya can't even find Gideon, I bet. We'll I'll make it easy for ya. He's up in the Polar Friendly, go ask him for permission."
I turn back to the sea and continue scanning the beach.
"Raubtier—"
"Don't," I growl. "Don't you fucking dare use my given name. I'll swipe that pretty face off yer body if ya say it again."
"What are they doing up there in the Polar Friendly? You ever wonder that?"
"Who gives a shit?"
"All those people up there do, for starters. Subjack is there, Carolinia Coot is there as well. Gideon, all the alien leaders who've made their way to Earth over the centuries. And you never asked yourself, why? You've never allowed yourself the luxury of asking why the High Order comes to this planet? Of all the billions, trillions of habitable planets in this Universe, why the fuck would they want this stupid little planet that has no hospitable neighbors for twenty standard light years in all directions? Why here? And why do the aliens congregate in the Arctic?"
"Why are they up there, then? Huh? I'm not in the mood to play games with you tonight, Caleb. If you're trying to make a point, then make it."
He smiles. "Well, see, here's the problem. This information is the actual message I was sent to offer. But I need a favor in return."
"I already told ya, I'm not handing her—"
"No, we already knew you'd never agree. Junco has been soiled with all sorts of Angel filth, we don't even want her."
I punch him in the face and he crashes to the ground. I'm about to slash through his torso with demon claws when he finally get to the point.
"I just need a minute with her when she comes out of the Pillar, that's all. We won't take her. Can't take her. But she's being very difficult, and you should know she said some disturbing things during my last approach."
I'm almost afraid to ask, after hearing Annun's earlier confession about how she loves who she is, but I can't help myself. "What'd she say?"
"That she wants to die. So she can see Isten again."
I cringe at the name. Isten was a huge mistake. I never thought she'd go insane like this over it. We've misjudged her so many times it's pitiful.
"I didn't tell her that she's never crossing the Bridge, Tier. I didn't tell her, couldn't bear to tell her. She was truly a pathetic mess."
"Lucan broke the news. She already knows the truth."
"Good, good," he muses. "But it's such a shame that your soul is still unclaimed, isn't it? What with the impending apocalypse and your death all but assured. You probably figured you'd cross together one day, right? But now she's been turned and claimed and you wasted the last two years taking orders from the Devil."
My eyes close for an exaggerated moment. "It is what it is, Caleb. Destiny is a total fucking bitch." He gets to his feet and I step back to give him some room.
"But it doesn't have to be. I could step in and make adjustments."
I don't even hesitate. "No, thanks."
"So you'll give her to Lucan? For eternity?"
The heat overtakes my body and forces me to take another deep breath to prevent the turn. "Why are you here?"
He leans back on the terrace railing, cool again. Assured in his position. "I told you, a single minute of her time after you pull her out of the Pillar."
"Why?"
He shakes his head. "None of your business. If she wants to tell you after, that's her prerogative, but you will not get that information from me."
"And you'll give me what?"
"I'll give you to Lucan."
"I'm already Lucan's."
"Not officially. You need the Archer morph for that. But I can step in."
"You want me to allow you to ban me!" I laugh, it's so absurd. "I am the sanctioned son! I have immunity! If I wanted to stay here, Caleb, I'd give myse
lf to my father, not let yours ban me like a common criminal."
He sighs, like I'm boring the shit out of him. "Why do I care? Huh? Why do we care what happens here in this universe? Do you ever ask yourself any questions at all, Tier?"
"You care because you know the High Order will cross that Bridge one day. And your Almighty Father isn't as powerful as He makes Himself out to be. You care because you're just as afraid of them as we are."
I admit, I was reaching when I said the words but his silence says I'm right.
And this sucks.
Because if they really are afraid of the High Order then we're all fucked.
"Will you ask Him to help us?" I ask.
"Will you stay here and give up your position?"
"It's tempting, I'll admit that, but if I'm not ready to sell my soul at Lucan's request, you can damn well be sure I'm not gonna do it for you."
"Oh!" he says with amusement. "Forgive me, I thought you'd be giving your soul to Lucan at Junco's request. That's the only reason you'd do the morph, right? To stay with her forever? But maybe I misjudged your attachment to her? I apologize for jumping to conclusions. I figured this was an easy win on my part. That you actually might care about someone other than yourself and that father of yours. My mistake."
"You know damn well it's not that easy, so don't make it sound like I'm a total piece of shit because I'm hesitant to give up my own personal salvation."
"Right. Salvation. Tier, let's not live in fantasy land, OK? You're not salvageable, brother. You'd be allowed to cross over on a technicality only and the thought of you living in our world makes me sick. Your soul might pass on, but you'd never be saved. Why not just stay here in the world of the damned and be happy with your lot in life?"
"It might take a while to wash the blood off, friend, but eventually the water will run clear. You and I both know eternity is a very long time. I'm not worried about it.”
"So we're back to my original question. You'll leave her here alone, for Lucan to use as he sees fit? For eternity?"
He sighs when I refuse to answer. "Fine, have it your way. If you give me one minute alone with her after she's removed from the Pillar, I'll provide you with some information. To aid your efforts in resisting your forefathers."
My laugh almost comes out as a snort. "What information could you possibly have about this world?"
"They're digging up there in the Polar Friendly, Tier. And they've found things. They've found some very interesting things. Several very interesting things, brother."
I wait it out since he's feeling chatty.
"Haven't you wondered where the Seven Siblings came from? After thousands of years, all of a sudden these genetics just appear? You never wondered?"
"Of course I've wondered."
"A minute with her, after you get her out of the Pillar. Just a minute. Sixty seconds, that's all I need. You can time us."
"And you'll get her out, too?"
He laughs. "No, that's your problem. But I have faith in you, Tier. I'm not worried about it."
I think about this. It's a welcome sign, really. My shoulders relax and I let out a breath.
"One minute. And I'll tell you what's in that pit they're digging up there."
"I could just go ask Subjack, I don't need yer information."
"You do that, then. Good luck, because he hates you. You want his only daughter and I can certainly relate to how a father might feel about that little familial arrangement. Plus, you've gone insane. I'm not sure why you're keeping that clone, but it's quite possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever witnessed."
I grunt. Right.
"One minute."
"Fine, sixty seconds, after I make sure she's OK."
I expect him to say wonderful! or excellent! like he usually does, but he hesitates, and then begins to talk in a low voice. "You know how I always knew it would be you in the end?"
"What?" That was a twist I never expected.
"I always knew it was you, Tier. Not Ashur, not Rikan, even though he is Lucan's genetic son. It was always you."
I watch his eyes carefully as the conversation turns to me. "I cannot even fathom the ego it must take to think ya always knew that answer, Caleb."
He smiles, but it's not a mean smile. Not even a boasting smile.
"I always knew it was you because when he brought you to the Bridge as a child for those early meetings he always held your hand, but he never held Ashur's hand. Or even Rikan, when he came later and was still young enough to be afraid. I saw each of you make that walk and I noticed this difference right away. At first I thought it was because you were scared or nervous, but you were never afraid, were you, Tier? You always wanted to cross the Bridge."
I swallow at the memories of being led up there. To meet and bond with my opposite and then later, to get the sanctioned gifts from Caleb's father. My brothers have all made that trip many times in the past two years. Many times to get many sanctioned gifts. But not me. Every year when Ashur and I were small we'd go up with Lucan. Separately, which is why Caleb could make the comparisons, I guess. But I haven't been up there since I was five because all of my gifts since then have been illegal. Caleb is quite right—I'm the dirtiest motherfucking avian there is in this Solar System right now. Redemption is only mine on a technicality.
I called his father the anti-Lucan because even today, I have no idea what His name is. He is Him, or He, and that's about it. And to Ashur and I, Caleb was always the anti-chosen. Because we never knew which one of us would be the sanctioned son. I always figured it was gonna be Ashur, he's such a rules guy and always pretty much did what he was told. I almost never followed orders, and Rikan didn't come along until much later. We never even knew about him until Fledge.
That was the deal Lucan made with Him. He'd do His bidding, he'd flood the planet, kill the slaves, drive away the Angels, and take the curse and the punishments. But in the end, Lucan's one true son would be saved as a form of payment. And today he gave that salvation to me. I am the one true son. I am the one he would keep safe above all others.
Because I am the one, above all others, who needs that salvation right now. Junco thinks her past is dirty but compared to my future, the terrible things she’s done are like freshly washed sheets drying in the wind.
I look back at Caleb and he's got his eyebrows raised, waiting to see if I'm interested in knowing how he had it all figured out.
I am.
"Why did he hold my hand?"
"Because he didn't want to let you go, brother." Caleb's voice is so soft I can barely make out the words. "The mere thought terrifies him, Raubtier. He clings to you like you are the most precious thing in this Universe."
I have no words for the second time today.
"He loves you, Tier. And he'll give you up to save you. But you'd be doing everyone a favor—yourself, us, Junco, and Lucan—if you'd just accept your place here in this world and be satisfied."
"Enough of this bullshit," I growl. "Just tell me what's up there in the ice!"
He lets out a long breath which sounds a lot like exasperation. "Whatever you say. Everything is up there, Tier. Everything." And then he disappears.
Everything? What the hell does that mean? "Deal's off, asshole," I yell to the sky. "That answer is not even worth six seconds!"
I go back inside and check on HOUSE. She's still a little hot but doesn't seem any worse. I lie down on the opposite couch, finally exhausted. It's been four days since I've had sleep and I hate to admit it, but Caleb has eased my mind in a way no one else could. He believes Junco will return. And if he believes it, is basing future actions on it, then he's already seen it.
My faith is back.
And I've poured it all into Caleb's request because my anti-brother, of all people, has faith in me.
Sleep comes easy.
Chapter Eight
HOUSE is chatty and busy in the morning. She makes me breakfast from the autocook, blueberry pancakes, and we eat them out on t
he terrace.
"Ya feelin' better today, HOUSE?"
She itches her nose as she chews, rubbing snot all over her face, and then speaks with her mouth full. "Yeth."
I can totally see why people have kids now. She's pretty damn cute. "Well, I have the doctor coming anyway, just ta make sure." Regardless of what she says, she doesn't look better at all. She's still flushed, her nose is practically dripping, and her chest is starting to make a strange sound when she exhales.
She ignores my comment about the doctor and shovels more pancakes in her mouth. At least her appetite is good.
"So, have ya talked to Junco, HOUSE? Since she's been in the Pillar?" There's no real easy way to approach this subject, so fuck it. Might as well just be direct.
"Uh-uh," she says again with her mouth full, but I can't really tell if that was a yes or a no. A few more chews and a swallow later and she's ready to give it another try. "No, I can't talk to Junco. She's far away now. But I can feel her."
I eat some pancakes, trying not to get too excited, and wait to see if she continues on her own. It takes a few more bites of food, but she eventually has more to say.
"She's at peace, ya know."
"Yeah?" I ask. "So she doesn't want to come home?"
"Nope. I asked her to, though." She looks up at me with her large eyes and stops her fork midway to her mouth. "I did ask her, Tier, after she said that. But she didn't answer."
"Do ya think we could convince her to come home, if we tried real hard?" I swirl my pancakes in some syrup. "I mean, she likes us, right? Maybe she'd come back for us?"
HOUSE just shrugs and I drop it because Ryse ports in.
"Inside," I tell Ryse. He follows me into the apartment and I close the terrace door so HOUSE can't hear. "Did ya find Layla?"
"Yeah, she's doing rounds on the morph ship, she can't get here until later. We've got more than a hundred thousand avians in morph right now, so she's a little busy. Can't you get a doctor here for the kid?"
"She's not a kid, Ryse. She's—well fuck, I'm not sure what she is, but—"
"She's an AI, Tier. Get a fucking engineer already. I'm not sure why she can eat and sleep and all that human shit, but the fact remains, she was nothing but circuits and electrons back at Junco's place."