by Rachel Jonas
Pushing the horrible memory aside, my gaze locked with his. “I’ll be fine,” I insisted, placing a foot on the carpet.
He was one step ahead of me, hopping up to approach my side of the bed in the blink of an eye.
“Evangeline, stress is the last thing you need right now. The others all agree,” he reasoned, placing both hands on my waist as he drew me closer.
I guessed he thought he could stop me, but his plea went in one ear and out the other. I was pretty sure my family was struggling to hold it together just beyond this bedroom door and I intended to help in whatever way I could. Staying locked in here wasn’t an option. I wasn’t an invalid, wasn’t fragile. Not yet anyway. Heck, just yesterday none of us even knew there was anything going on with me. I wouldn’t start acting helpless twenty-four-hours later simply because I was now aware of my condition.
“I’m fine,” I assured him with a kiss to his cheek.
He stared when I slipped from his grasp to change out of my nightshirt and into a tee and shorts. I was ready to head out, but a pleading stare halted me.
“He’s in a bad way, Evangeline … Please.”
It was then, when he all but begged me not to go to Ivan right away, that I knew for sure he meant to protect me from my own memories, from what I’d been through.
As much as I wanted to be at my brother’s side, as much as I wanted to show my support to the others, I wouldn’t push. I’d been stubborn and defiant enough in recent weeks for a lifetime. I’d give Liam a break on this one and would wait to visit Ivan at a better time.
“Okay,” I finally conceded.
Liam was visibly relieved when I caved. Immediately, tension drained from his expression and he breathed easier.
“Where’s Elise?” I asked, moving toward the bed to sit again before adding, “Is she holding up okay?”
He took slow steps away from the door as he thought of how to answer.
“She’s … strong, of course, but I think it’d be good if you checked in on her. Seeing him like this hasn’t been easy,” he answered.
I figured as much. She must have been devastated. After everything she’d gone through to bring them back. To bring us back.
“I’ll go check on her, but please tell my brothers my heart is with them,” I requested. If I couldn’t stand at their side, I at least wanted them to know I was beside them in spirit.
Liam gave a nod. “I will, but keeping you away wasn’t just my idea. It was theirs, too.”
Of course it was. Knowing how much they cared about me, loved me … it brought a smile to my face.
Since meeting them, not a day went by that I wasn’t reminded of how important they were to me, to our unit as a whole. Now with one wounded, it was like holding my breath, hoping and praying Ivan would pull through.
Whatever happened from here … it was happening to all of us.
My family.
Chapter Six
Evie
I stood outside Elise’s bedroom, waiting. From what Liam explained, she’d been at Ivan’s side since they arrived home at the crack of dawn. Had it not been for Hilda insisting she get some rest, I was certain she’d still be there.
Quiet steps on the other side of the door had me standing straighter. With all that transpired, there was no telling what state I’d find her in. There was already so much resting on our shoulders collectively as a family, and now this situation with Ivan.
Elise opened up and, right away, her gaze turned watery, as if she’d been holding it all in until this very moment. There were a number of things I could have said, but every word eluded me and all I could think to do was hug her.
My arms went around her neck and the emotions she kept hidden came rushing out like a flood.
“ … I wish I could fix it,” I whispered as we embraced.
It was true. If I could have taken all these bad things away and given her the one thing she always wanted, no strings attached, I would have in a heartbeat. Her heart and intentions were so pure. Nothing would have made her happier than to have a normal life without worrying it’d all be taken away from her in the blink of an eye.
On that point, we were of the same mind.
“Where are my manners,” she sniffled. “Come in.”
I followed her inside and the door was latched behind me. She made her way across the room to her bed where I was invited to take a seat on the lavish, champagne-colored duvet. Cool silk met my fingertips when I eased down onto it.
Long lashes blinked over Elise’s eyes as she searched for words.
“How’s Liam?” she asked, not surprising me in the least. She was the embodiment of the word ‘mother’, always thinking of our wellbeing before her own.
“Fine,” I assured her. “He went back up to Hilda’s workroom to be with Ivan and the others.”
That seemed to be the response she expected.
“You’ll have to forgive me,” she began, her voice quiet and strained. “I know you’re probably here to discuss Ivan’s condition, but … if you don’t mind, I’d rather not. My heart’s just … it’s so heavy,” she admitted. “Having just come through this with Liam, I …”
Her voice trailed off and I understood completely, because I felt the same. We’d just watched another loved one fight for his life and these circumstances were too fresh, her emotions too raw.
I offered a dim smile. “Then we’ll talk about something else. Anything else. You pick.”
Her dark hair shifted over her shoulder with a nod. “Well, to start, how are you feeling?” she asked. “There’s been a lot to take in in a short amount of time. How are you coping with … your news?” she said next.
Right away, I felt self-conscious. What an idiot she must have thought I was. Because, being honest, I’d already been thinking it myself. I mean, I had no clue what was going on with my own body until Nick made it abundantly clear.
Because of this, I wasn’t sure how to answer. My condition made us more vulnerable as a unit. Everyone would, no doubt, be hyper-vigilant when it came to keeping me safe.
Maybe at the expense of others.
Maybe at the expense of themselves.
There was nothing I could do to change that. Even centuries apart from my brothers hadn’t lessened the fact that I was still their sister and they would always regard me as such.
I locked eyes with Elise and replied, “I’m … fine.”
I had such a way with words.
Taking a deep breath, I said more. “I’m sorry about how this could affect everyone. It was stupid, I know.” My palm pressed to my forehead when I went on. “Liam and I should have been more careful under the circumstances. We were just swept up in our emotions, I guess. Nearly losing one another may have clouded our judgment and we weren’t thinking and…”
My rambling was cut short when Elise all but snatched me into another embrace, one so tight and heartfelt I knew I’d been wrong.
“Evangeline … this child is the miracle we all need right now. A light in a world filled with darkness.”
At those words, my smile stretched wider. She hadn’t been thinking any of those terrible things. As usual, nothing but love emanated from within her, transferring to me the longer she held on. I quickly realized how much I needed this, a hug from her.
My mother.
It was beginning to feel less strange thinking of her in that light, as the one who’d given me life. Twice, at that. For so long, I kept her at arm’s length, clinging to the idea that I could only ever have regarded one woman as ‘Mom’—Rebecka Callahan. However, the more I was able to see Elise’s heart and realize the depth of her love, the easier it became to accept her role in my life.
My arms cinched tighter around her, and I exhaled with relief.
“You could not have made me happier,” she added to her already kind statement. Her eyes gleamed even more when sharing her next thought. “We’ve got so much to prepare for. So much to buy.”
I could only imagine how much sh
e intended to spend ‘preparing’. The woman certainly had a penchant for shopping.
When I leaned away and let my gaze sync with hers, I shook my head.
“You don’t have to do anything,” I insisted. “Our hands are already full. Besides, we’ve still got what … nearly seven or eight months to worry about all that?”
A perfectly arched brow quirked when I finished speaking, and then Elise’s reply only confused me.
“Seven or eight? Evangeline, you …”
She paused and studied my bewildered expression for a moment.
“I think it might be a good idea for me to share something with you. Something that might help you gain a better understanding,” she suggested.
I still wasn’t sure what about the comment grabbed her attention, but then she laid it all out on the table and, suddenly, it made sense.
Well … sort of.
“The gestation period for a lycan is nine months, but … you’re not just a lycan. You’re part dragon, too, so … the time could be slightly shorter than what you may be thinking.”
A warm hand came down on top of mine and I stared at her.
“Wait … you said ‘could be’ slightly shorter, as in you’re not sure? And just how much shorter are we talking?” An abrupt, cynical laugh slipped out behind the question. Mostly, it was nerves.
“Well, I worded it this way because, quite frankly, by you being a hybrid … it could go either way. Only time will tell and it’s up to your body to decide,” she admitted, causing all expression to leave my face.
She took note of the look and went on to explain further. “If a female dragon has chosen to assimilate herself into a human community, she pretends to have been expecting much longer than her actual experience. It would be her only cover,” she added.
I got the feeling this was a stall tactic, Elise’s way of biding her time before having to lay the cold, hard truth on me.
“For instance,” she went on, “a woman in this situation may tell her close human friends she simply withheld the news of her pregnancy until it’s nearly over. Until she’s crested.”
I’d never heard the term used in this context, so I asked for clarity. “ … Crested? What’s that mean?”
Elise nodded and the slight hesitation in her tone wasn’t lost on me.
“Well, the literal definition that applies here is that it’s a peak. Like the top of a mountain, or wave,” she explained. “For you, should your body decide to follow the path of a dragon, cresting will be the peak of the pregnancy, the midway point. At which time it will no longer be possible to hide that you’re with child.” She paused to give me a moment to process it all before adding something else.
“It will also be the beginning of an intense bonding experience between you and your child, one only understood by another dragon,” After explaining, I watched as a distant smile graced her lips and her thoughts seemed to drift a bit, maybe recalling her own experiences.
“What’s it like?”
Dark, gentle eyes peered up when I asked.
“It’s beautiful,” she laughed—a light, girlish sound that matched her youthful appearance. “However, it can also be quite challenging … physically. With how quickly the child will begin to grow from this point, your body may find it difficult to cope at first, but that’s when it’s important to remember that many dragons before you endured the discomfort and survived. Becoming a mother will change you, Evangeline. In ways you could never even imagine. There’s something about needing to protect your child that brings out who you really are, what you’re truly made of.”
She paused and a warm smile followed.
I nodded, imagining that to be true, noting all the sacrifices she’d made for my brothers and I, the hard choices she’s made through the years. The weight of our conversation must have been why she steered it back toward our original path.
“But as I was saying, the reason female dragons wait until they’ve crested to reveal their condition to the outside world is to avoid raising red flags.”
I asked my question again. “How much shorter would it be for me if I …”
Elise gripped my hand just a little tighter when fear made the sentence trail off. Her attempt at soothing me might have worked had the answer she gave a moment later not been so starkly different from what I prepared for.
Seven months? Six maybe?
“You’ll be… It’s…” She stammered before finally blurting it. “Three months.”
That answer … it drew every ounce of air right out of the room. My eyes stretched wide before blinking more than what felt natural in the few seconds it took to realize I hadn’t misheard.
“Th … three? But I’ve already surpassed the first month,” I stuttered.
Meaning, three months could now be two, inching dangerously close to one.
A sympathetic hug went around my shoulders. “I know this is all a lot to take in, but you’re more than capable of handling it,” she assured me once again.
My reaction had less to do with whether I was physically suited for the task, and more to do with the state of our lives. If I had a more reasonable stretch of time before I was at my most defenseless, I could have been of some use in this fight. However, if this ‘cresting’ Elise spoke of were to actually happen to me, it was only a couple weeks away. If that time came, if my body sided with my dragon, I wouldn’t be any good to anyone.
I’d be a liability.
My family’s Achilles heel.
“I was afraid you’d panic,” Elise whispered when I did just that. Panicked.
Frantic tears threatened to fall and I felt my heart beating triple time.
“There’s just … so much to figure out,” I panted. “So much to get straight before the…” I couldn’t even say the word.
Baby—there was so much to get straight before the baby got here.
Just thinking it now, knowing how quick this process could be, I was overcome with dread. Saying that word out loud would have made it real, would force me to face the fact that the timing of it all couldn’t have been worse.
A foreign instinct jolted me, one I neither invited nor welcomed. It was brought on by the acknowledgement that this world we lived in was too unstable for deep connections—like the one formed between mother and child. It all felt like one big, cruel joke—to be immortal, and yet so finite. The little one I carried … he or she only made an already bitter pill that much more difficult to swallow.
I didn’t want to love anyone else. Not when losing that love was such a great possibility. But I knew those feelings for him or her would come regardless of whether I welcomed them or not. And when they did, I also knew it would be unlike anything else I’d ever known.
“Evangeline?”
Hearing my name pulled me from my thoughts to meet Elise’s stare. When I did, it became clear our deep conversation about life and motherhood was about to take a sharp turn.
“I’ve been thinking,” she blurted. “Especially with what’s gone on with Ivan, with how quickly things can go terribly wrong,” she rambled. “And … you can’t stay here. It’s imperative that we get you someplace safe.”
My eyes stretched wide with her suggestion.
“Now you sound like Liam,” I remarked.
“That doesn’t surprise me. He’s always been wise, intuitive when it comes to looking after you,” she replied.
I breathed deep, wondering if anyone was on my side when it came to how I saw things.
“Next thing I know, you’ll suggest I be assigned a … keeper,” I sighed. “Which is basically just a glorified babysitter.”
“They were common in days past. I, myself, was assigned one, but traded her for Hilda,” Elise shared. “While that’s not the worst idea in the world, having someone watch over you still wouldn’t be as effective as taking you someplace safe.”
“And leave you all to act as some sacrificial firewall when Sebastian storms this place looking for me?” I shot back.
> “Hilda already placed more sigils on the house, the property,” she rattled off. Her posture was poised as usual when she said more. “The rest of us will do what we’ve always done. We’ll fight, we’ll survive, but we can’t risk exposing you to whatever tactics Sebastian employs next,” she insisted.
I kept my expression even, unreadable. “Hilda can do whatever she wants to the house, the land, but I won’t leave here.”
A strange sense of belonging filled me to the brim as I stood my ground. I felt downright territorial over this town I once couldn’t stand the thought of calling home, but it was exactly that. My home. I wouldn’t let Sebastian or anyone else run me away from it.
Elise didn’t argue, but there was no missing the fearful expression she couldn’t hide.
“Evangeline, it’s honorable that you want to stay, that you want to stand in solidarity with your people, but … under these circumstances, no one would think any less of you if you allowed us to take extra precautions,” she insisted. “Especially for the baby’s sake.”
It would have been so easy to run like they suggested, so easy to use my newly discovered condition as an excuse to get away from it all, pretend none of it existed, but I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to sit this one out and it had nothing to do with anyone’s judgement. I couldn’t have cared less what others outside these four walls thought of me, my family. It came down to me not being willing to stand by while the ones I loved fell, all because they wanted to protect me.
“I might be of some help.”
Elise scoffed and the reaction surprised me. “I don’t think you understand. In two short weeks, this child may begin to develop quite rapidly, Evangeline,” she warned, reiterating her point before letting it go. “That’s only fourteen days.”
When I remained silent, thinking of all the reasons to turn down Elise’s suggestion just like I had when Liam made it, she took the moment of silence to say more.
“What I’m suggesting is that, for once, you think of yourself first,” she pleaded, practically panting as her dark eyes watered again. “At every turn, you’re darting out into danger, holding little to no regard for your own life. Only, this time, it isn’t just about you,” she expressed, her gaze narrowing when she asked a question. “Don’t you understand the terrible turn this could take? Aren’t you afraid?”