“I do hope so,” she said softly as he left.
CHAPTER 17
The doorbell rang and Rachel dragged herself to the door, melancholy draining her of her energy. Her spirits soared when she opened the door because the man standing before her with the bunch of flowers looked so much like her husband she thought it was him. Then she noticed the subtle differences; his narrow eyes brown instead of grey, shoulders not quite as broad, mouth a different shape.
“Hello?” she frowned, her exhausted brain attempting to puzzle out who he was and failing.
“Hello,” he replied uncertainly. She got the impression he was a man not used to being so unsure of himself, he looked like very capable, or that could just be because he reminded her so much of Ryan. “Are you Rachel Law?”
“I am.”
He thrust the bouquet of flowers at her. “I heard about your car accident, I wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.”
“Thank you, that’s very kind,” she said, accepting them. Then it struck her. “Is your last name Cutter by any chance?”
“Yes. I’m Riley Cutter.”
Another of Stuart Cutter’s sons. She opened the door wider. “Would you like to come in?”
“Err, I’m not sure I should.”
“Ryan’s not here right now but you can wait for him if you like?”
He appeared even more hesitant. “I don’t want to intrude, I understand you must have a lot on at the moment.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, I don’t think I should. I’ve got a bit of leave to visit Neil, but I have to be back at the barracks in a couple of days then I don’t know where I’ll be sent.”
“I believe you’re in the army?”
“Yes. I’ve heard there’s a possibility Ryan’s my brother but until that time it’s probably best if I keep away. I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I lost a child too a couple of years ago, I know how hard it is.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said gently.
His lips tightened and he nodded.
“Do you want to leave your phone number for Ryan?”
“I don’t think it would be right until we’ve had the DNA results back. I’ll be off then. Nice to meet you Rachel.”
“You too Riley.”
She watched him walk away, the resemblance to Ryan unnerving. Any doubt as to the truth of Neil’s claims evaporated. He and Riley could have been twins.
When she tried calling Ryan, she was surprised when he actually answered.
“I’ve just had an unexpected visitor.”
“Who?” he said, voice heavy with disinterest.
“Riley Cutter.”
“What did he want?”
“He brought me a bunch of flowers, said how sorry he was about Thomas.”
“What the fuck has it got to do with him?”
“He was just being nice, he said he lost a child himself. Ryan, he was the spitting image of you. When I opened the door at first I thought it was you.”
“It was your imagination.”
“No it wasn’t, you should have seen him. He’s only in the city for a couple of days before he has to go back to the army. Why don’t you track him down and have a chat with him?”
“I’ve got too much on my plate at the moment.”
“He might be able to tell you more than Neil can, he’s the older brother.”
“I’m not interested, let it drop.”
“Fine. When are you going to be home?”
But he’d already hung up.
Beth’s fury steadily built as the minutes ticked by. Alfie was playing well but his concentration was only half on the game and he kept glancing her way to see if his dad had joined her.
“Come on Alex,” she muttered, glancing at her watch. He was already fifteen minutes late. She switched Holly to her other arm and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him hurrying across the school playing fields towards her. As he stood beside her she prepared herself to admonish him then thought of last night and held her tongue. Her son’s face lit up when he spotted his dad and Alex gave him a big thumb’s up.
“Thank God you made it,” said Beth, trying to sound light-hearted. “I was getting worried.”
“I’m here now. What’s the score?”
“Two one to Alfie’s side. He scored the first goal.”
“Oh, I can’t believe I missed it,” he said, genuinely upset.
“You should have got here sooner.”
“Don’t start Beth.”
“I’m not starting, I’m only saying.” She didn’t want to undo all the progress they’d recently made so she took his hand. “Let’s not fall out, this is our son’s big moment.”
“You’re right,” he replied, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. When one of the other dad’s standing in front of them turned to give him a black look, Alex scowled. “What the fuck are you looking at?”
The man hastily turned back round.
“Alex,” chided Beth.
But he ignored her and tapped the man on the shoulder. “If you’ve got a problem then come out with it.”
The man refused to reply, keeping his gaze fixed on the match. Alex’s blood boiled, fed up of all the other parents looking down their noses at him because of who he was when he could buy and sell the lot of them. Rachel had the same problem when Leah started nursery, but ever since she’d gone legitimate that problem had gone away. Everything worked out for Little Miss Fucking Perfect. Just the thought of her caused his temper to spike and he shoved the man roughly in the shoulder. “Come on then coward. You’re brave enough to give me the shit eye when you think I’m not looking but you’ve not got the balls to tell me to my face.”
“You…you’ve got the wrong idea,” the man stammered. “I wasn’t looking at you, I was seeing if my wife has arrived yet, she’s late.”
“Bollocks.”
“Alex, stop it, please,” said Beth, panicking when she saw the headmistress hurrying over to them.
“Please gentlemen, we can’t have language like that here,” she admonished.
“It wasn’t me,” stammered the man. “I didn’t use any bad language.”
“No, you’re too much of a fucking coward.”
“Mr Maguire, I must ask you to refrain from using language like that,” scowled the headmistress.
“Alex stop it, you’re ruining this for Alfie,” said Beth, cheeks burning with shame. All the parents had stopped watching the game to watch them instead. Her heart almost broke when she saw the same embarrassment she was feeling in her son’s eyes.
“Perhaps it would be best if you left?” suggested the headmistress.
“Me?” said Alex incredulously.
“Yes. I’m sorry but this is about the children and I will not have such behaviour on school grounds.”
The headmistress tilted her chin proudly, making it clear she wasn’t going to back down.
“This is because of who I am, isn’t it?”
“No Mr Maguire, it’s because of the bad language and aggressive tone. My concern is for the children, not the parents.”
“I’ve just given ten grand to this school and you’re chucking me out?”
“We appreciate the donation Mr Maguire, but that doesn’t mean you get a free pass to behave badly on school grounds.”
For one horrible moment, Beth thought he was going to punch her.
“Fucking fine,” he snarled before stomping off, leaving Beth stammering an apology and Alfie on the verge of tears.
Rachel tried to get on with her life, wanting to return to normality as soon as possible for her kids. The pain was still present but two weeks after Thomas’s funeral she woke up feeling like she could breathe again and she could actually get out of bed without it being a monumental effort. Seeing she was coping much better, Gill and Rick decided to return to Devon.
“Why don’t you come and stay with us for a bit? It did you the power of good after Danny died,” coaxed Gill before they left.<
br />
Rachel knew Ryan would never agree to leave Manchester until he’d found whoever had killed Thomas and she couldn’t bear to leave him behind. “Not just yet. I want to get back to normal first, but we’ll visit during the school holidays, promise.”
“Alright, you know what’s best for you.”
Rachel turned her attention back to the businesses, which she had neglected recently. Fortunately they had good people working for them who had taken up the slack on their behalf and nothing had suffered. Even the casino was raking it in, Dolores throwing herself into her new role. It made Rachel turn back to her idea about seeking a fresh challenge. She found it in the form of a hotel on the outskirts of the city that had once been a very grand place but had been allowed to slip into neglect and was now up for sale. After a little digging she discovered Strang was interested in purchasing it too but it was going up for auction.
“It’s got a hundred and fifty bedrooms, a restaurant, bar and nightclub,” Rachel explained to Ryan excitedly. “It’s a massive complex, bigger than any hotel we’ve taken on yet. It even has twelve acres of land that’s not been developed. It’s perfect for that project I was thinking of before we bought the casino. I was thinking we could sculpt the grounds into a golf course and set up a small spa to attract the golf widows. What do you think?”
He shrugged.
“Do you think we should buy it? If we don’t then Strang will and he’ll make a mint off it. We can’t have that,” she smiled, knowing Ryan loved to thwart Stephen Strang.
“If you want,” he said as though it didn’t really matter.
“We’re not talking about buying a new car or a holiday, this is a huge investment. We need to talk it through properly.”
“I’ve said go for it if you want.”
“It’s what we want,” she insisted. “The other businesses don’t need our input anymore, we need something to take our minds off everything.”
He gave that weary sigh of his that had almost become his trademark and was seriously starting to piss her off. It sounded self-pitying, which wasn’t like her husband at all. The man she loved was pulling away from her and she was starting to panic. But she knew it was because he hadn’t been able to find who had caused the accident. If he had then he might have been able to move on but he hadn’t and the frustration was killing him.
She squeezed his hand. “Come on, let’s start planning it. We can make this so much more than a hotel.”
“Look, I’ve said go for it. You can handle it on your own, can’t you?”
“I don’t want to handle it alone, I want us to do it together, like all our other businesses. We’re a team.”
“It doesn’t interest me Rachel.”
“Nothing does anymore, not even me. You haven’t touched me for ages.”
Ryan was filled with shame and wished he knew why he couldn’t bring himself to make love to her. They hadn’t had sex since before Thomas’s death. He still desired her but he couldn’t face the prospect of getting intimate, which he couldn’t explain because it had never happened to him before. He was so humiliated he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it, not even to Rachel. It pained him to see her hurt expression whenever he pulled away from her. He’d even started going to bed very late, wanting her to be asleep before he climbed in. He’d been suffering bouts of insomnia too and he spent most of the night lying awake watching her sleep, wanting to touch her but not daring to in case she woke up and wanted more. He knew he needed help, he was completely screwed up inside but he couldn’t show such weakness by going to a counsellor, it was the way he was wired. Keep it all in, put on a front and get on with things. Only he was crumbling inside.
“I don’t have time to talk about this now, I’m meeting Jez.”
“Why?”
“Just a bit of business, nothing important.”
“You’re still trying to find who caused the accident, aren’t you?”
He didn’t respond and walked through the house to the porch and started pulling on his jacket.
“I thought we could spend the day together, you’re hardly ever home,” she continued, gently cajoling.
“I’ve got things to do.”
“We could go out for some lunch, take a walk, just relax, it’ll do us both good.”
“I said I’m busy.”
“But we need to reconnect, we’re drifting apart.”
“Leave it Rachel,” he bellowed before storming out and slamming the door shut.
Recently Rachel might have burst into tears and curled up into a ball, sobbing her heart out but she was getting sick of his attitude. So she picked up her own car keys and stormed out of the house, following him into the garage.
“Where are you going?” he frowned.
“What do you care?” she yelled at him before jumping in her car and slamming the door shut. As she sped off down the drive she could see him watching her go with a perplexed frown. “You’re not the only one who can act like a sulky child,” she muttered angrily.
Rachel drove to the spa for a work-out, trying to exercise off some of her anger and frustration. Swimming twenty lengths did nothing to ease her temper so she spent an hour in the gym too, working out until tiredness started to cut through some of her pain.
“You’re going to hurt yourself at that rate,” said a voice.
She smiled up into the face of Tim, one of the hunkier personal trainers she’d hired. With his blond hair, twinkling blue eyes and winning smile he certainly drew in the punters.
“Alright Tim. How’s everything going?”
“Boring without you around,” he said, treating her to one of his dazzling smiles. He always flirted with her, even though she was his boss and she was glad he was treating her just the same, not subjecting her to the pitying looks everyone else was. “And you’re doing that wrong,” he said, indicating the weight she was holding.
“I am?”
“Yeah, you hold it like this,” he said, coming up behind her, so close his lips could have touched her neck. “You’re flinging your arm up instead of using the muscle to lift it. Concentrate on where the movement’s coming from and you’ll work your body a hundred percent more efficiently.”
It had been so long since Ryan had touched her that she became aroused by Tim’s close proximity, the fact she was hot, sweaty and already worked up only adding to the situation.
“There, that’s better,” he smiled when she bent her arm, bringing the weight up with it.
She looked at him over her shoulder, his lips just an inch from hers and noted the arousal flare in his eyes.
Run, get away before you do something you regret, the sensible voice inside her screamed.
Rachel shook herself out of it and stepped back from Tim. “Thanks for the tip. I’ve got to go.”
“Rachel…”
She let the weight drop to the floor with a heavy thud and hurried off to the women’s showers where he couldn’t follow. She stood beneath the hot spray, letting it massage her aching muscles, her tears mingling with the water. Since Ryan she’d never looked at another man. The first hitch in their marriage and she was being tempted by a twenty year old blond god. Or maybe she should flirt? It might do Ryan some good to get jealous. On second thoughts, he’d probably only end up beating the crap out of whoever she flirted with.
“What do I do?” she murmured into the water.
After dressing and drying her hair she took a walk through the spa, chatting with her staff, asking if there were any problems but everything was harmonious. She took a quick look through the books, the large profit they were making improving her mood a little. While she was in the office she received a visit from Mikey.
“Fancy getting some lunch? My treat,” he smiled.
It was only then she realised she’d been cutting the Maguires out of her life. She hadn’t seen any of them in a while.
“Sounds good.”
He beamed. “I thought you were avoiding me.”
She smil
ed at him fondly. “Course not. I’m sorry Mikey but things are difficult at home. I haven’t been out much.”
“Ryan?”
“How did you know?”
“We’ve all noticed how he’s changed. Thomas’s death has floored him.”
“I know.” Tears filled her eyes. “I’m losing him Mikey.”
He hurried round the desk to hug her. “No you’re not. Things will get better, promise. It’s just a rough patch, every married couple goes through it.”
She nodded her head and wiped away her tears. “You’re right. It’s just such a contrast to how he usually behaves towards me, he’s always been so…”
“Adoring?”
“I don’t want to sound big-headed but yes.”
“Give him time, he’ll come round. Why don’t we go out, have a few drinks and a laugh? It’ll cheer you up.”
She gave him a smile. “Okay. Thanks Mikey.”
“You’re welcome.”
Ryan watched Rachel and Mikey cross the car park together arm in arm. He’d come to invite her to lunch, to spend the day together as she’d suggested but Mikey had got there first and she looked to be having such a nice time he didn’t want to interrupt. So he sat in his car and watched Mikey’s car drive away. Neither of them noticed him, they were too busy talking, making him feel more isolated than ever. When they’d gone he started the engine and set off, although he had no idea where he was going.
Over lunch Rachel was distracted from her own worries by Mikey’s problems.
“Alex is changing,” he sighed miserably into his pasta. “Whatever he says goes and he won’t listen to reason. Don’t worry, I won’t give you any details but recently he made a business deal that lost us a substantial amount of money.”
“How substantial?”
“Half a million.”
“Ouch.”
“I know. Me and Jez advised him not to do it, we could see what was happening, even Battler had a word but no, he knew best, the prat.”
“That doesn’t sound like Alex.”
“The power’s going to his head. At first he was so unsure of himself when he took over that he always listened. Now he’s got a taste for it and he’s turning into Hitler. How do I make him see sense?”
A Family Divided (Dividing Line #3) Page 20