“I don’t understand.” I stepped back. “I don’t like this. I don’t like lights.”
Her hand froze in the air where she had reached for me. Her ring sparkled. “What are you saying?”
“I don’t like you.”
“You need to calm down,” her voice shook, but the rest of her body went rigid. “I know a lot happened, Eric.”
“I’m not Eric.” I wanted to tell her I was Darthon’s pawn, but I knew the words would never come.
Her eyes flickered over my face. “You are.”
“I’m not,” I snapped. “I went in there as Eric and came out as someone else.”
She wrapped her arms around her torso. “You’re not making any sense.”
I closed my eyes as I said the part I dreaded the most, “Eric loved you, and I don’t.” My heart was too loud in my ears for me to hear myself say, “I’m breaking up with you, Jess.”
Silence.
I expected her to slap me, to beat me with her fists, to take her ring off and chuck it over the hill. But nothing happened.
When I opened my eyes, she was staring at me. Her face wasn’t flushed. Her fingernails didn’t dig into her palms. She wasn’t even crying. A small smile pulled at her lips. “Jess?” she repeated the name. “You never call me that.”
She was seeing the signs.
Every bit of me felt like it was breaking. “Do you understand?” I asked.
For the first time, she looked away, her gaze shooting over my shoulder and toward the field so many had died on. The last thing Eu probably saw was the willow tree we stood under. It was still alive because he fought, because he died.
“I understand—” Jessica’s throat moved. “I understand you’re not being yourself, but you’re crossing a line, Eric.” This time, she glared at me. “A big one.”
I could breathe again. “The first part is more important.”
Her eyebrows pushed together. “We can talk about this, okay? Whatever you’re going through—whatever happened—we’ll get through it—”
“We can’t,” I stopped her from dismissing what I had said. “We’re over.”
She flipped her hand up, but it wasn’t to slap me. My mother’s ring shone in my face. “We’re engaged.”
“Not anymore.” I shook my head. “Not right now.” I didn’t deserve it. “Keep the ring if you want.”
When I started to walk away, she grabbed my arm. “You can’t be serious.”
I only touched her to remove her hands from me. “I am.”
“I don’t believe you.” Her voice was in my head.
I shut off our connection, and it sizzled out.
That was when her eyes watered, and I couldn’t stop myself from hugging her one last time. She shook against my chest as I kissed her forehead. “Take care of yourself, okay?” I said it expecting a response, but she never gave me one.
I pushed myself away, spun around, and walked down the hill. I had obeyed Darthon and left Jessica, but I wouldn’t obey him for long. I would find a way to break the illusion, and my first stop was the shelter.
The Dark would have to save me again.
22
Jessica
He said it like it didn’t matter, like his emotions were buried, like he was the Eric I had met, not the one I had grown with. But he hadn’t sounded like he was lying.
I could barely breathe as I watched him walk toward the student parking lot. He wasn’t returning to class. He was leaving, and I knew where he would go.
I spun around on my heel and ran down the other side of the hill, pushing my tears back. He couldn’t mean it. He couldn’t. If anything were impossible, it was Eric’s breakup, and I wouldn’t let him push me away when he was hurting. Whatever Darthon had done to him had taken a toll, and there was one person I knew who could help.
“Jonathon.” My mind throbbed from Eric shoving me out, but I found the strength to call my guard. “Jonathon!”
He didn’t respond, but I could feel the trickle of his powers. Even though his abilities had shifted, mine hadn’t. I would get through to him if I had to march into his classroom.
“Jess.” Crystal was in front of me before I realized she had been chasing me, and she was gripping me before I could stop her. “Where are you going? Are you okay?”
I almost didn’t hear her. “What?”
“Robb told us,” Crystal informed me.
I looked over, realizing the others were only a foot away. I glared at Robb. “What did you say to him?”
His hands were up like my glare was a gun. “We talked about Hannah,” he promised. “That’s it.”
I ignored him because he was useless. “I’m leaving,” I told Crystal.
“I’ll tell Ms. Hinkel.”
I walked away before she could continue our conversation, but she called after me, “Call me if you need to.”
I ignored her to focus all of my energy on Jonathon. “Where are you?”
It was a scream, and his connection leapt. “Jess?”
“Come to the front,” I ordered. “It’s an emergency.”
Even though he didn’t respond, I walked straight for our meeting place, making sure to avoid the office as I left the building. If they questioned it, I would lie. I have a doctor’s appointment. My mom is picking me up. She’ll tell you about it when she gets here. I promise. Luthicer would put up an illusion later, and we would figure out what was wrong with Eric. My plan would work. It had to.
“Jess?”
Robb, again. He had followed me, and his hair stuck up like he had messed with it the entire way. His shirt was even wrinkled. But he didn’t mess with any of it when he stopped a few feet away from me. “Are you all right?”
“Perfectly fine.” I searched the entryway for Jonathon’s face.
“Is it true?” he asked. “Did he leave you?”
“Why do you care?” I snapped.
Robb’s brown eyes widened.
“Sorry,” I muttered, my hands shooting up to my temples. I rubbed them, hoping to ease the pain Eric had caused. “It’s just a lot—”
Robb’s palm landed on my shoulder before I realized he had walked closer. “It’s okay, you know.” He spoke like he knew I would believe him. For once, I didn’t feel the urge to push him away. I felt warm.
“Just breathe,” he coaxed. “Go home if you need to.”
The warmth was familiar, like the ring I wore. I took a breath, and the fog melted away. The crisp air was fresh and natural, a soothing reminder that spring was nearing. When my heartbeat calmed, I realized it had been racing before. I wrapped my arms around Eric’s jacket. It smelled like him.
Tears pushed against my eyes, so I closed them. “I’m okay.” I stepped away from Robb’s touch. “I will be.” Once Jonathon comes.
“Jess?” Right on time.
I looked over as Jonathon approached, stumbling like it was his natural way of walking. His glasses fell down his nose when he stopped by my side, and for a moment, I swore his blind eye even saw me. They both widened. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ll tell you in the car,” I said, knowing his car was in the parking lot. “Can you drive?”
“You two are friends?” Robb interrupted.
I looked over. “Yeah.”
Jonathon didn’t bother defending our friendship. “We can leave right now.” He was already walking toward the parking lot.
“I’ll call you later,” I lied to Robb, only to tell him the truth after, “Thanks for calming me down.”
He nodded, but he looked far from calm. His expression made him look like he was the one who was broken up with. I looked away before I saw myself in him.
“What’s going on?” Jonathon muttered as we walked out of earshot. “I haven’t heard you that panicked since—”
“We need to go to the shelter,” I directed, picking up speed as we neared the parking lot. “Now.”
Jonathon grabbed my arm, nearly losing his stance. “Wait.” He forced me to fac
e him. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“Eric—” I stumbled over his name, and I had to close my eyes and take a breath before I could speak again. “Eric isn’t Eric anymore. Something’s wrong with him.”
“I told you,” Jonathon began, “he just needs space.”
“Too much space,” I interrupted. “He just broke up with me.”
Jonathon’s hands dropped from my arms. His bottom lip hung open, and his breath escaped him in a fog. “What?”
“Don’t make me repeat it,” I muttered, leaning against his car—the same one Camille drove before she died.
“Jess, wait.” Jonathon took off his glasses and cleaned them with his shirt. “You’re probably overreacting—”
“He said he was serious,” I sputtered out the words. Eric’s emotionless voice was hardly audible. If it weren’t for my powers, I doubted I would’ve heard him at all. “He said he doesn’t love me anymore.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Jonathon’s face reddened with an anger I wanted to snatch from him. “Eric loves you. He always has, and he always will.”
“I know,” I interrupted, “but he said it anyway. He—”
“He gave you a ring, Jess.”
“His jacket, too.” A laugh escaped me, and guilt consumed me for it. The coffee stained the clothing. “I shouldn’t be laughing.” As I said it, I knew I wasn’t. My escaped tears were freezing against my cheeks.
“Jess,” Jonathon’s voice was as soft as his embrace. “It’s okay. We’ll figure this out.”
I nodded against his sternum.
“You won’t lose him.” Jonathon only let me go to open the passenger door. “And I won’t either.” His grin was wide, like the one he had when he was Pierce. “Let’s go to the shelter.”
I agreed, jumping into his car before he joined me. As we sped out of the parking lot, I remembered the first time I got into Eric’s car, how I learned his middle name, how he questioned why I wanted to get to know him more than anyone else. I hadn’t been able to explain it back then because I didn’t know, but I knew it now.
I loved him, and I wasn’t going to allow him to be alone anymore.
23
Eric
“You’re fine, Shoman.” Luthicer stepped away to fill out the clipboard he brought with him.
“Are you sure?” I leapt off the examiner’s table to stand by his side. “You didn’t find anything? Not at all?”
Luthicer’s beard practically hit me when he whipped around. “Not a single spell.” The edges of his eyes radiated as they formed slits. “Should I have found one?”
Yes. I wanted to say it, but I couldn’t. “Did you check my neck?”
“You were there, weren’t you?”
He had. Luthicer had checked every part of me, even the parts I wished he would stay away from.
I hit the wall.
Luthicer jumped back. “Shoman—”
“I’m fine.” My knuckles burned. The injury would take more time to heal now, but it didn’t matter. Darthon’s spell wasn’t detectable because I agreed to it. The illusion was everything he wanted it to be.
Luthicer stared at the cracked wall. “Your father won’t be happy to hear about that.”
My dad. Mindy. Noah. My family. They were relying on me just as much as the Dark was, yet I had barely seen them in the past few weeks.
“I’m going home,” I muttered. “Thanks for your help.”
“Try not to further your injuries,” he called after me, but I almost didn’t hear him.
I was in the hallway, and I wasn’t alone. Jonathon stood in front of me, and Jessica stood behind him. They had followed me.
I tried to walk past them, but Jonathon grabbed my arm. “Wait—”
“Let me go,” I snarled.
Jonathon didn’t listen. He transformed, and his strength dug into me. If I were going to fight him, it would have to be in our shade forms.
“You’re going to explain yourself,” Jonathon as Pierce spoke as his grip tightened, “and we’re going to help you—”
“You can’t,” I snapped.
“What’s going on here?” Luthicer’s voice bellowed over us as he entered the hallway. “You guys should be at school. All of you.”
“We would be if Eric hadn’t dumped Jess,” Pierce said to the elder, but he was glaring at me. “Now, tell us why.”
“What?” Luthicer interrupted Pierce’s anger. “What are you talking about?”
“That’s enough, guys,” Jessica interrupted the elder as she tried to pull Pierce off me. “Let him go.”
Pierce yanked his arm away from Jessica, and she stumbled back. My anger boiled. Pierce glared because he could sense it. “Stop fighting us.”
I shut him out—just like I had shut Jessica out—and everything burned. It only got worse when Pierce’s hand collided with my jaw. I hit the ground before I realized he had hit me.
“Pierce,” Jessica screamed as Pierce latched onto my shirt.
His green eyes bore into me as he spoke, inches from my face. “I’m tired of your shit, Eric,” he growled. “I know you’ve been through a lot. We all have. We all lost Eu. Camille died for this—”
I punched him.
Pierce flipped back into his human form when he slammed against the ground.
“It’s not like that.” My scream tore against my throat.
Jonathon wiped his mouth, and blood smeared across his hand. Blood I had drawn out of my best friend.
I stepped back.
Luthicer was staring. Jessica was, too. The entire hallway was creeping into chaos as shades poked their heads out from various rooms. Two young kids huddled behind someone who was probably their dad. Their blue eyes were like mine.
“It’s—it’s not like that,” I stuttered again.
“Then, what is it like?” Jonathon asked as he pushed himself off the floor. He was already transforming again.
Luthicer stood between us with his arms raised at each of us. “That’s enough, boys.”
“Are you going to explain yourself or not?” Pierce pushed his chest against Luthicer’s hand. “Or are you going to continue shutting us all out? We’ll just die that way.” I had never heard Pierce scream before. “And we would’ve already if Jess hadn’t saved you.”
I backed against the wall.
“Leave,” Jessica spoke to me as she moved to the side, revealing the open hallway. “Go.”
“Don’t you run away,” Pierce was fighting Luthicer in an attempt to get to me. “Face something for once. Face it.”
“Pierce,” Luthicer was yelling back at him. “Calm down.”
“I’m not calming down over this,” Pierce spat, and blood flew off his torn lip. “You’re destroying everything. You’re letting her die in vain—”
Camille. She died to save Jessica, and she wasn’t coming back. She would never be trained by Luthicer, or laugh at Pierce’s jokes, or help me stretch again. She was gone.
“Eric.” Jessica’s hand wrapped around mine before she pulled me toward the exit. “Go.” She practically shoved me away. “Go home.”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, hoping she would grab me again, force me to stay, but she pushed again.
“I know,” she said against my back before she shoved one more time. “Just leave.”
And I did. I ran and never looked back.
24
Jessica
“I screwed up back there, didn’t I?” Jonathon’s head hung low as he muttered a curse at himself. He was finally human again.
I grabbed his chin to force him to look up. “You think?” I dabbed his sliced lip with a rag.
He winced, but he didn’t pull away. His lip wasn’t healing like it normally would’ve. Everyone’s powers were weaker, aside from Eric and me.
“He could’ve hurt you worse, you know,” I said and set the rag on the countertop. The water had mixed with his blood, but the red color only reminded me of one thing—how my purple rain
had shifted in the Light realm.
“I know that,” Jonathon admitted, leaning over to open the curtain of the nurse’s room. Luthicer was standing a foot away, grumbling on a phone. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw a Dark member use a phone, let alone an elder. Their telepathy was shaky.
Jonathon closed the curtain. “I can’t believe he’s calling my father,” he said. “I’m not a child.”
“You sure acted like one.” Even I hadn’t seen it coming. Jonathon never attacked anyone. Aside from the battle, I hadn’t witnessed him throw a punch. I had only seen him paint.
“Doesn’t mean my dad should be called.” Jonathon continued to rub his temples, but his veins pounded against his forehead. He had to adjust his glasses. Fifteen minutes passed, and Jonathon’s hands were still shaking.
“Is he at work?” I changed the focus to Urte, Jonathon’s father and Eric’s trainer. The elder wouldn’t be happy when he arrived.
Jonathon nodded.
“What does Urte do anyway?”
My guard let out a half-laugh, but he hesitated to answer. “Cupcakes.”
“What?”
Jonathon nodded again, and we both broke out into mild laugher. “Don’t tell him I told you that,” he said between chuckles. “It’s a very profitable business, especially during the holidays.”
I tried to picture George Stone baking, but I could only imagine him drinking. “I didn’t even know Hayworth had a cupcake shop.”
“We don’t. He runs it right out of our house,” Jonathon continued, his mouth turned down. “My mom started it.”
I stopped laughing when he mentioned his mother, the woman who had left her family behind when Eric was Named Shoman. She wanted to abandon the Dark, and Urte refused. Eric had told me how the moment had brought Jonathon and him closer. They had both lost their mothers at a young age. Camille had been a fill-in for both of them. The fact that Jonathon had thrown her in Eric’s face stayed with me.
I found something to say. “I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay.” He fought his frown. “It’s good to laugh at something.”
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