by Claire Adams
“I know. There's a lot at stake here.”
“I know. But what I also have to say is that, to me, this is not just a fling. It's not simply lust. It's...it feels so real. I mean, I can't remember every feeling like this about anyone. When I'm with you, I feel totally alive. I feel like I can do anything. And when we talk, it's like I could talk to you forever. Like we could seriously talk all night away without getting tired. It's just so easy and natural with you.”
She smiled at me and reached over and tangled her fingers with mine.
“I feel exactly the same, Wade. I have to confess that I had a lot of misconceptions about the kind of guy you were when we first met. Obviously, I'm sure you know a lot of that comes from the gossip magazines, and your reputation, and the fact that you were dating this really famous actress-”
“I don't blame you for that,” I stopped her before she could start comparing herself to anything in my previous life. They didn’t hold a candle to her. “But you know, that person wasn't me – at least, he wasn't the real me.
“I got caught up in all that stuff for a time, but really, I hated it. All the partying I did and the craziness, it was just to cover up how deeply unhappy I felt out there. That's why I came back to Florida. I needed a fresh start, I needed to not have all that garbage in my life any more. I needed to live a life true to myself – and I couldn't do that there.
“But you – you represent everything good about who I am and who I really want to be. You're just this naturally beautiful, unpretentious, kind, generous woman. You work so hard, and you're so focused and selfless. In fact, you're everything that the girls who were after me on the West Coast are not. And, that makes me even more madly attracted to you.”
She nodded, still smiling. “Wow...thank you for all the compliments, Wade. They do mean a lot to me. And, you've been so kind and so generous, helping me out not only with all the car stuff, but with my mom and her health issues, as well. Not to mention, of course, the fact that you're a great coach, who has not only inspired me, but everyone else on the team, to work super hard and be the best players we could be.
“But what really changed my mind and amplified my attraction to you was your generosity and selfless kindness.”
I was touched by her honesty and her compliments. “I'm glad you saw past the surface noise and gave me a chance to prove I wasn’t that guy.”
“So am I. But, I’m not so sure it was just the surface noise that made me think that way. I think part of it was me,” she said.
“How so?” I asked.
“Well, to explain that, I think that I have to tell you a little about my relationship with Tim,” she said. “Just to give you some context, really.”
“All right, you can go ahead and tell me if you want.”
“I loved him, I did. But he totally played me, badly. I guess I fell for him for all the wrong reasons. He swept me off my feet when we first met. I mean, he was such a charmer. As a narcissist, he's perfected that act, I can tell you that.
“So, he used his good looks and charm to manipulate me. I was having thoughts of he and I spending the rest of our lives together, but he was sleeping with every other girl on campus.”
“Oh, man, I'm really sorry to hear that. He sounds like a real dirt bag.”
“Oh, he was…is, trust me. I have no illusions about that now – I just feel ashamed that he had me fooled for so long.”
“It's nothing to be ashamed of, Eryn. Guys like him are experts at keeping women in the dark. They've got it down to a fine art,” I tried to reassure her.
“I still feel like I should have known better.”
“You can't blame yourself, though. You really can't.”
“I know that, but it took… Well, it’s still taking time to accept that. And, to get myself to the point where I can fully trust a guy again. It isn't easy you know, especially when, uh, when he’s a drop dead gorgeous guy…good looking, just like Tim.”
“But I'm not like him, at all. I guarantee you that.”
“I can see that now,” she said. “But you have to understand that once a person's trust has been totally crushed like that, it takes a little time to allow oneself to trust fully again.”
“I understand. And I'm not saying we should jump into anything – but I am saying that these feelings I have for you are real. And, they are intense. I don't think I can deny them or keep them bottled up for much longer. I meant it when I said I haven't felt this way about a woman before.”
“And, I haven't felt this way about a guy for a very long time, either.”
We both sat in silence for a while, each thinking on the other's words. “So,” I said eventually, “what are we gonna do about this?”
“I don't want it to end,” she said, and I could tell from the tone of her voice that she was serious about that. “I really don't want it to end. It feels so wonderful. It’s the most honest feeling I’ve ever had with a man.”
“I totally agree. But there's the whole...you know, coach and player thing.”
“I know. So, I guess what we have to do is, well, keep this secret,” she sighed. “I really don't like keeping secrets.”
“We don't have any other choice, though,” I said. “It's either keep this secret – or not have it at all. And the last thing I am going to do is put you in a position that could be harmful to you in any way. I’m not going to try to talk you into that. I care too much about you.”
We both sat quietly. “I care about you, too,” she said. “And, I'm willing to give it a try if you are.”
A surge of what I could only describe as pure joy rushed through my heart. “I'm absolutely one hundred percent willing to give it a try and to keep it a total secret. I want this – you and I – more than anything. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since long before that first kiss.”
She smiled and squeezed my hand tighter. “I do, too, Wade. I do, too.”
“All right then. It's agreed – we'll keep it a secret.”
“Remember, when we say 'secret,' it means a total, one hundred percent secret,” I said. “I can’t have you getting in trouble.”
“Right. We can't tell anyone. Not family, not best friends, not anyone at all,” she added. “The consequences of anyone finding out about this could be-”
“Totally disastrous.”
“Believe me, Wade, I know just how much is at stake here.”
“All right. Well, you know I trust you – and you can trust me completely.”
“Yeah. Well, this evening has been amazing. I guess it's time to call it a night, though, before another cop shows up and we end up in a gossip column because we were arrested for indecent exposure or something,” she laughed.
“I guess it is,” I replied, disappointed that the night had to be over. Still, we didn't want things to get too crazy too quickly. It was better to take it slow.
“Can you drive me home now?”
“I can, not that I really want to see you go,” I replied.
We chatted on the way back to her place. Like I had told her before, it was just so easy to talk to her; it really felt like the most natural thing in the world. The conversation flowed so smoothly and easily between us, and once again, it was hard to believe that there were ten years between us. It was as if I was talking to someone older and more mature, and I had to say that I appreciated her emotional maturity.
Finally, we reached her place. “Well, here we are,” I said.
“Yep, here we are.”
“Before you go, there's something I have to say,” I expressed, looking into her eyes. “But words alone aren't enough to say it.”
“I think I know what it is,” she replied, and we both moved at once, pressing our lips together in a passionate and intense kiss. We both grew sweltering and excited, but knew that we shouldn't do more at this point, so we reluctantly broke it off. I went around and opened her door, helping her out of the car.
“Bye, Wade,” she said with a smile.
“Bye, Eryn,” I replied, and watched her until she made it safely inside her apartment. I drove off feeling happier than I had in years.
CHAPTER 21
Eryn
After a couple of weeks of light participation in practice — which meant no actual practicing — I’d finally been released by the doctor to get back to full speed. I had to remind myself daily that pushing it too hard too soon would prolong my injury, and as annoying as it had been for a fitness junkie like me, I'd listened to my doctor and coach and stayed off my feet and rested.
Now, however, I was back on the court at last. I realized after spiking my first successful attack over the net, not just how much I loved this game, but how much I needed it. If there ever was a place I felt fully and truly at home, it was here on the volleyball court. I'd been born to do this – of that much I was certain.
The ball came back over the net in a well-placed attack. I dove to the ground and saved it, sending it back up to Leena, who set up a perfect attack. We scored again. Leena high-fived me as I steadied myself back on my feet.
“That ankle doing all right, Eryn?” she asked.
“It's holding up well, yeah,” I replied.
“You're sure you're okay playing on it?”
I nodded. “Definitely. It feels like it wasn't ever hurt, actually.”
She smiled. “Awesome! You have no idea how happy I am to have you back in action!”
“You and me both. I'm ready to kick some ass; seriously, I am. Especially after doing nothing much but sitting on the sofa and binge-watching Netflix. It was like I could feel my muscles shriveling up and dying. It was terrible!”
What I wasn't saying, however, was that a lot of that time spent on the sofa, while Leena had been out, had been with Wade – and we hadn't just been watching shows, I could tell you that.
In fact, just the thought of what we'd gotten up to in that time started getting things pretty warm between my thighs. I blushed, even though nobody knew what was happening down there except me. Practice was definitely not the place for thinking about such things. With a guy like Wade, however, it was hard to keep my mind off him. Especially at practice, considering that tiny, little detail of him being my volleyball coach.
Yeah, not so tiny, really.
My volleyball scholarship was still hanging by a thread, even though I'd finally made the starting lineup. I knew the university was looking to cut costs, and if anyone found out anything about what was going on between Wade and me, I'd be dropped faster than third-period French class.
And with Mom's medical bills an issue now, if anything happened to my scholarship, there would be no way I could stay in school. I'd have to get a job – although what I could do with no experience and no college degree certainly limited my options. It was a scary thought that was hard not to worry about.
Somehow, I managed to get my head back in the game. I was focused, my performance was pretty well on par, and although my fitness level had deteriorated a bit, I was satisfied with my ability to keep up.
We finished up practice by winning the fourth game and not having to drag it out to a fifth.
“Well done, ladies!” Wade called as he strode out onto the court. I couldn't keep my eyes off him; I watched his muscles shift beneath his golf shirt and pictured how they looked underneath. What that led to was me picturing other parts of his body, as well. Other hard, large parts.
“Are you paying attention, Eryn?” he snapped angrily. “Looks like your damn head is in the clouds or something – and that's the sort of stuff that makes us lose games!”
I knew it was an act, and that his anger was simply put on and not real, so I reacted appropriately, putting on an act of shame. “I'm sorry, Coach Vinson,” I replied sheepishly. “Don't worry, I'm paying attention now.”
“You better be.” He looked over all of us as we stood in front of him.
“All right, ladies, as you all know, this weekend's game is against Rollins College. I'm sure you are all aware of their reputation. This isn't gonna be a cakewalk like our game against Miami. Rollins has some of the best players in the division, and from what I've heard, they've been working very hard on upping their game.
“Make no mistake, ladies, this is going to be one hell of a hard game. As such, we need absolute focus and absolute dedication. I'm not even talking about one hundred and ten percent. I'm talking two hundred percent! Can you do that?!”
“Yes, Coach!” we all replied in unison.
“I didn't hear you. I said, CAN YOU DO THAT?!”
“YES, COACH!” we roared in response. The team was pretty fired up, that was for sure.
“All right, good. I'll send out the starting lineup list tomorrow, so check your emails and prepare accordingly. That's all for now, ladies. Go hit those showers!”
The hot shower felt amazing after practice. I considered lingering a bit to try to talk with Wade for a few minutes, but decided against it. As I left the locker room, my phone rang so I fished it out of my bag. It was Anne.
“Hey, sis,” I said as I answered the call. “What's going on?”
“I've bought a plane ticket,” she said. “I'll be coming out on Friday and staying until Wednesday.”
“Oh my God, that's wonderful news! I can't wait to see you! And, I know Mom will be super excited, too!”
“That makes three of us then! I can't wait to see you guys. And I'll be able to watch your game this weekend in person! It is a home game, right?”
“Yeah, it's here! Oh, man, I'm so excited! Seriously! It's gonna be great having you here,” I repeated.
“I can't wait, either. All right, I'll chat with you on Thursday to finalize all the arrangements and stuff.”
“Yeah. I'll get the spare room at Mom's ready for you.”
“Awesome. Well, I should get back to work. Just wanted to let you know. I’ll chat with ya soon, though. Love you.”
“Love you, too, Annie. Bye!”
I put my phone back in my bag with a smile on my face. It had only been a few months since I'd last seen my sister, but honestly, it felt longer than that. It was going to be great to have her here in person to support me in the game against Rollins.
I walked out to the parking lot on cloud nine. For once, everything seemed to be going right.
Part of me couldn't help but wonder if that meant something was about to go horribly wrong. I tried to push such thoughts out of my head. That was no way to be thinking.
I caught sight of Wade walking out of the building and heading toward his car. My first impulse was to rush over to him and throw my arms around him, but just as our eyes met, a group of girls from the team walked out of the building. Disappointed, I just waved at him; he waved back, and we got into our separate cars and drove off.
I got a text message just a few seconds after I pulled out of the parking lot.
Hey, missing you already. Can't wait until we have some alone time together.
I typed out a quick response as I waited at a red light.
I can't wait to see you either. Miss you, too.
As the light turned green, I realized I was going to have to be extra careful while Anne was around. She had told me in no uncertain terms that I was to have nothing to do with Wade beyond a professional relationship – but here I was, going against everything she'd advised.
I pulled up to my building and parked my car, then recorded a voice note and sent it to Wade explaining how we were going to have to be very cautious about keeping things between ourselves, especially while Anne was visiting. As much as I didn’t like it, we'd probably have to refrain from contact during her visit.
He replied immediately. Of course, he was understanding about the whole thing, he was practically perfect. I kept expecting him to turn into a complete ass. No guy was ever as considerate and kind as Wade.
Sure as hell not Tim. I still didn’t know how or why I’d put up with him for so long. The thought of him being with Tammy made my skin crawl, but not out of jealou
sy, out of dread for anyone who had to be around them. They were a perfect pair, those two – they really deserved each other.
I couldn't help worrying when I thought about them, though. The little stunt with Peter acting as a cop seemed to have silenced the pair for now, but I was sure Tammy wouldn't take being kicked off the volleyball squad lightly.
She was vengeful, and I had no doubt she was probably plotting something in retaliation. I mean, she'd resorted to physical violence just to get the evidence out of Wade's hands – she was capable of almost anything, and that was a pretty scary thought.
Still, there wasn't much I could do about it. I knew she'd have her eyes on me, looking for some opportunity to get me somehow. I just had to watch my back.
*****
I was breathing hard, and every muscle and every joint in my body was on fire. I was reaching into my last reserves of strength. This had been one of the hardest games of volleyball I'd ever played, and I'd had to pull out every ounce of strength and endurance I possessed.
We'd won two, lost two. And to tell the truth, Rollins was outplaying us. The games we'd won had been too close. They'd got twenty-two points and twenty-three respectively in those games; and in the two they'd won, we'd only managed seventeen and twenty points.
Being a home game, a big crowd had shown up – bigger than the crowd we’d seen at our season opener. The roar of their cheers echoed in my ears and spurred fresh energy into me, but the biggest boost came from two pairs of eyes watching me intently: Wade's and Anne's. And, of course, two very different kinds of strength came from each of them.
This game could go either way now; it was a dead draw at twenty-two points each. The tension was almost unbearable.
They had serve, and the serve they sent over the net was almost an ace, but Leena managed to save it with a spectacular dive.
I got a great setup and used the same trick I often had against Tammy – setting up for a major slam, and then feathering the ball instead so that it just dropped over the net.
It worked, and we got the point. The crowd roared. Twenty-three points. Only two more needed, but if they scored, we'd be in real trouble.