by Shady Grim
“Because of Rick?” I said.
“I can handle ‘im. Me strong like bull,” joked Ethan as he flexed his biceps.
“Rick’s a coward. You should have no trouble with him,” replied Jim. “I meant Jimmy. He’s a bad kid.”
“All kids get into things,” shot Ethan, angered by Jim’s accusation of a child. “It’s natural for a kid to act up sometimes, especially if he’s got an abusive father. Just because he hit Shelly and not the kid doesn’t mean Jimmy wouldn’t be affected.”
“Rick didn’t hit her, Jimmy did and he hurt Rick too.”
“Oh, come on...” protested Ethan, slapping the table in an attempt to discharge some of his temper.
“Jim, he’s eight years old,” I said. “Do you know what you’re saying? It sounds to me like your taking your hatred of Rick out on Jimmy.”
“Amen!” shouted Ethan, slapping his hand on the table again. “Yeh gotta be really balless to pick on a kid.”
“I’m not picking on him. I love that kid. He’s my nephew for Christ’s sake! Shelly told me herself that there’s something wrong with him. He was outside playing when I got there, so I was all prepared to kick the shit out of Rick when Shelly stopped me. Rick admitted to slapping her around a little when they were first married, but he found a better job and with some counseling, he and Shelly managed to work things out. They both said that it’s Jimmy who’s causing all the problems. He’s shown violent tendencies since he was about three, and it’s been getting worse.”
“You expect us to believe that two adults have been living in fear of their own child since he was a toddler?” I asked sharply. “Jim, this is totally unbelievable. Shelly’s been writing to me for months about this, and she said repeatedly that it was Rick. Look, I know this is hard for you to accept, but she’s been through a lot over the years. You can just look at her and see that she’s not stable.”
“She left Rick because he threatened to have Jimmy put away. He may be an evil little bastard, but he’s still her son–”
“Okay, that’s it,” said Ethan, pushing his chair away from the table. “I’m not listenin’ to another word of this shit. I can’t believe that yeh’d blame yer sister’s bad marriage on a kid. We’ll be hospitable to yeh ‘cause of Shelly and the kids, but yeh better have yer ass outta here before dinner.” He turned to me and said, “I’m goin’ outside to calm down.”
“Alright,” I replied and resumed my discussion with Jim. “I don’t understand where all this is coming from and I’m sorry, but I’m in full agreement with Ethan.”
“Just hear me out. Rick said, and Shelly agreed to this,” said Jim, shaking his finger at me, “that last year Shelly was pregnant again and Jimmy must have heard them talking about it, because he made her loose the baby.”
“What do you mean?”
“He pushed her down the stairs; he punched her in the stomach, and she said that he tackled her while wearing his football helmet, aiming for and hitting her, right in the stomach.”
“Kids like to roughhouse, Jim. He wouldn’t know that tackling his mother would hurt the baby. Didn’t it ever occur to you that Shelly got rid of the baby herself, and this is her way of justifying it in her mind? I mean, just look at her. She’s obviously not a well person, and I wouldn’t put too much stock into anything that Rick has to say.”
“I’m telling you–!”
“I don’t want to hear it, Jim! I’m not listening to another word, and I want to make it clear to you that I stand by Ethan on this. I think it’s best that you leave.” He agreed to leave without making a scene. I told him that he was still welcome to call the house to talk to his sister and nephew at any time. He asked me to call him immediately if anything happened, and I agreed. He went outside and said his goodbyes to Shelly, telling her that he’d changed his mind and wanted to get back home to finish making the arrangements for she and Jimmy as quickly as possible. After he pulled out of the driveway, I asked Emily to show Shelly and Jimmy the greenhouse, while I went around to the front porch to talk to Ethan.
“I’m sorry about tellin’ ‘im to leave. I should’ve asked yeh first. He just pissed me off bad-mouthin’ that kid.”
“It’s okay, I agree with you. Let’s go down to the water so we’re not overheard.” I looked around to see if anyone was within earshot.
“What’s up?”
“Brace yourself for this one. Jim said that Shelly had a miscarriage last year–”
“Oh man, that’s awful–”
“Wait, that’s not all. He said that Jimmy was deliberately knocking her down to make her lose it.”
“What? Is this guy insane? Yeh know what I think? I think the whole family’s loony, and the kid’s the only normal one. I thought yeh said this Jim was a cool guy?”
“He is...or he was. I don’t understand what’s going on.”
“Let’s just play it by ear. They won’t be here for more than a month or so. If any of their craziness leaks out onto us, it should take us a few weeks at most to get rid of it.”
“Oh, that’s a great plan, Ethan. Contagious insanity, that’s just great.”
“Shelly and the kid just need to chill for a while. Once they relax, everything will be just fine.”
“Every time you have a solution to something, I wind up in some sort of trouble...and broke.”
“That’s ‘cause yer too uptight. Yeh need to go with the flow,” he said, slicing the air with his hand.
“Go with the flow?”
“Yeah, see all that tension spreads negative energy.”
“Negative energy? This is going to be a fun summer, I can tell.”
“All yer negative energy is makin’ me hungry,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “I think I’m gonna have another piece o’ pie. Yeh comin’?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Yer gonna have to try a little harder than that.”
“Shut up, Ethan,” I said and he laughed.
Except for Thor’s profound dislike for Jimmy and Shelly’s irritating servitude of him, the next few days went by relatively uneventfully. Jimmy relaxed enough to sleep in his own room, and it was at that point that Shelly began to have terrifying visions and nightmares. She insisted that someone was banging on her bedroom door all night long, but when she opened the door to see who it was, nothing was there. She also described a blinding yellow light that emanated from under the door, but again, when she opened the door there was nothing there. She described hellish nightmares that involved some unseen force trying to attack her. I had been anticipating some kind of odd behavior from her, and was sure that it was her own instability that was the cause of all the alleged phenomena, but Ethan insisted that it was the ghostly forces in the house that were tormenting her. No one else heard or saw a single thing and both of the children, whose rooms were across the hall from Shelly’s and next to Ethan’s, slept soundly all night. She had Jimmy move back in with her for a few nights, and although the other phenomena ceased, she continued to have the terrifying nightmares. I prescribed her a light sedative, and Ethan turned her room into a shrine. He gave her a crucifix to hang on the wall, and a set of rosary beads, although she was not Catholic, and filled her room with dozens of what he fondly called “holy candles.” I was amazed that Shelly could sleep with all of the candles he had burning in there. I went with Ethan to the religious shop because he was aware that I was friendly with the owners, and I didn’t want him starting a tab and buying up the whole store. I hated to let him loose on any kind of buying spree, but most especially when he was on a spiritual quest. He bought any sacred object he could find, and it didn’t matter if it was in keeping with his own religion.
I watched Ethan place holy candles on every square inch of flat surface in Shelly’s bedroom. “Those candles are a fire hazard.”
Ethan placed a small fire extinguisher next to Shelly’s bed. “Problem solved.”
“The heat in this room will be sweltering with all of those candles lit.”
“I’ll put a glass of water on the nightstand.” Ethan pulled a wad of dried of plants out of one of the bags full of sacred items he’d bought. The plant-wad was tied tightly together with red string. Ethan used a lighter to set one end of the bundle alight. The bundle flamed for a few seconds, then smoldered and let off a pungent-smelling smoke.
“Here, take this and wave it around. Wave it under the bed and in the closet too.” While I stood next to the bed waving the wad of smoldering vegetation around, Ethan poured a circle of table salt around Shelly’s bed.
“What are you doing?” said Shelly. She stood in the doorway with a basket of laundry in her hands. The children stood behind her. “Do you know how hard it is to clean up that much salt?”
“Ethan asked me to wave this wad of weeds around the room.”
“It’s a smudgin’ stick, not weeds,” corrected Emmy as she stuck her hand in the bag of potato chips she was carrying. “It’s to chase away evil spirits,” she explained before popping a chip in her mouth.
“Oh, I see,” I replied. “It must be part of some sort of nature-based religion. Practitioners of such religions often believe that botanicals are imbued with divine powers when, in fact, said botanicals are potent germicides or even hallucinogens–”
“Can it, Dr. Nerdly. We have important shit to do here. Shelly, put that basket down and come in. Yeh kids get in here too. We have to stand around the circle and pray so we can sanctify it.”
“What would you like me to do with God’s fire-stick?”
“Just put it on that plate on the dresser, smart ass. Everyone stand around the bed and hold hands. Jimmy and Emmy, yeh guys stand on the bed so yeh can reach our hands.”
“Do we have to hold hands? It makes me uncomfortable; it’s practically a group hug.”
“I ain’t even gonna answer that, Heather. Put the chips down, Em.” Emily set the bag on the floor, and wiped her hands on the back of her shorts. As she jumped up on the bed, she belched out the word “alright.”
“Burp-talk, I taught her that,” said Ethan proudly.
“No kidding,” said Shelly, looking disgusted.
“Hopefully, we’ll curb that by puberty.”
“No way,” said Ethan. “Burp-talk is a discipline. If yeh stop practicin’, yeh lose it.”
I inhaled deeply and placed my hand on my forehead. “The weeds are working. I’m having a vision. I see Emily standing on a stage. She’s graduating summa cum laude from a prestigious university, and she’s giving her speech in burp-talk.”
“Very funny,” said Ethan.
“I’m moved beyond words,” I retorted.
“I feel somethin’ movin’ too.” Ethan farted loudly, and the children giggled.
“Are you sure that farting is acceptable during prayer? I don’t remember it from catechism.”
“God designed us to do this stuff, so there ain’t nothin’ wrong with it.”
“Are you sure it was God? Given the smell, it seems more the realm of His Brimstone Majesty.”
“The Devil didn’t give us nothin’. Only God creates. He created everything, even evil. It’s not for us to know why. God is the creator; the Devil is the destroyer.”
“Consider this,” I countered. “The food that we eat is destroyed in the digestion process in order to create energy for the body to function.”
“Who cares?” said Shelly. Ethan ignored her.
“There yeh got a different thing entirely. That represents birth, death, and rebirth. It’s the circle of life–no destruction involved.”
“Of course there is, some creature died in order to give sustenance to another creature. It’s survival of the fittest. The eaten animal doesn’t get reborn.”
“Yeh don’t know that. It could be reborn in the same or another form. It might even continue on as a spirit.”
“Will you two please shut up?”
“What I do know is that bacteria in our guts break down foodstuffs, and one of the byproducts of that process is methane gas, not divine rebirth.”
“That’s farts to us non-nerdy types,” explained Ethan to the children.
“What’s bacteria?” asked Emily.
“A tiny animal that can only be seen with a microscope,” I replied.
“I’m going to open a vein if you two don’t stop this crap!”
“Settle down, Shell,” said Ethan. “Everybody hold hands. Oh wait, I forgot to cover the mirror.” He threw a towel over the mirror on Shelly’s dresser. “Okay, we can start now.”
“Why cover the mirror?” asked Shelly.
“You really shouldn’t ask too many questions, Shell. Ethan’s explanations can induce migraines.”
Ethan ignored me. “The spirits could jump into the mirror and get trapped. If they’re strong enough, they might use it as a portal to travel between planes.”
“Wouldn’t that be a good thing?” said Shelly. “If they got trapped, I mean.”
“No,” replied Ethan. “They’d still be able to enter yer dreams. Everyone please close yer eyes while we pray so the spirits can’t jump into them and possess yer bodies.” Jimmy slammed his eyes shut.
“Hey, Dad, what if yeh were wearin’ mirrored sunglasses? The spirits could get trapped in the lenses, and all yeh would have to do is destroy the glasses to get rid of the spirits.”
“My child is a genius.” Shelly cleared her throat to signal her annoyance. Ethan closed his eyes, lowered his head, and began his prayer. “It’s me again, Lord. I know I’ve been a real pain in the ass to yeh and everyone else who knows me. I’m tryin’ real hard not to be such a selfish bastard, and I know that I don’t deserve any special favors, but I’m not askin’ for anythin’ for myself this time. My friend, Shelly, here is being bothered by some demons. I’d be very grateful if yeh could spare a minute of yer time and bless the salt around her bed so the demons can’t get past it. Thanks for listenin’, Lord. Amen.”
“What sort of prayer was that?” asked Shelly.
“An Ethan original,” I replied. Ethan sprinkled salt in the keyhole of Shelly’s bedroom door and along the threshold of her bedroom.
His mother’s complaints of spectral torments had little effect on Jimmy, and he appeared to settle in quite well. He formed a better attachment to Ethan than to me, but children typically took to him quickly. I wasn’t overly concerned about it since I spent less time with the children than Ethan did. Children always related well to his larger-than-life personality. Ethan’s size was intimidating to some children who were used to smaller men, but his charming ways won them over in the end. Jimmy followed Ethan around almost as much as Emily did. He and Emmy played the days away together, in between fights. Shelly was concerned about Thor biting Jimmy and asked me to lock him up, which I refused to do. Thor spent the day at work with me during the week and stayed clear of Jimmy when he was home. Thor growled a warning if Jimmy tried to pet him and then moved away from the child. I warned Jimmy and Shelly to leave him alone. If Thor could spend the day in my office with patients coming and going without biting anyone, then Jimmy would have to provoke him to get bitten. I refused to punish my dog if it was the child who was at fault.
Shelly’s appearance began to change in the few days that she’d been with us. Despite her nightmares, she was beginning to gain a little weight and had lost some of the haggardness in her face. Dying her hair to a golden brown improved her features considerably. She and Ethan were getting along very well, and it concerned me that they both could be on the rebound. I liked the idea of the two of them getting together, but with Shelly’s questionable state of emotional health, I feared a less than amicable outcome. She and Ethan both had very poor track records and both were feeling quite vulnerable. I have to admit that in my heart, I hoped that their similarities in personality and experience could bring them together in a mutually beneficial way. If Ethan could find his soulmate in Shelly, then our divine partnership would be half completed. It would be up to me to find the remaining fourth to
complete the puzzle. It was a foolishly romantic notion, but I hoped for it all the same.
We sat up late one evening, after the children were put to bed, and talked. Ethan was in an exceptionally good mood and was retelling stories of some of the silly things we did when we were children. He still had his knack for storytelling, and I saw the faint flicker of a twinkle come to his eyes again for a short while. I can’t think of anything special that he did, but he could make the most mundane event sound interesting. The three of us shared stories of things we did together, and things we’d experienced individually. We were sitting in the living room on Ethan’s old living room set. He and I had removed my antique set to the garage to await repair and brought in his old set. I made a remark about how badly the set smelled, and that I wanted to wash it immediately. He said it smelled because he’d trash-picked it, and I told him off for not washing it and also for allowing Emily to sit on it. He told me that it was okay because he’d sprayed it with a disinfectant. He also pointed out the large blood stain under one of the cushions and asked me if I could get it out, which sent me into another rant about his piggish habits. A loud belch was his only retort. Eventually, after three or four washings, the set that I thought was an ugly worn-out brown was, in fact, a soft and lovely yellow. Emily informed me later that they had never actually used the set, and it had been sitting in storage for some time. Ethan had sold their actual furniture for some extra cash a few months before they moved in with me.
“If yeh guys were such good friends in school, then how come I didn’t meet yeh before?”
“You met her before, a couple of times actually,” I answered.
“No, I don’t remember ever meeting him.”
“Me neither and I always remember meeting a lady.”
“I distinctly remember introducing the two of you at one of my parties. And I remember you telling me that Ethan looked like a street thug.”
“That must’ve been my biker phase.”
“I remember you now. You and your friends scared the hell out of me.”