by Ruby Dixon
I do not want her upset, so we stay on, even though I wish to return to the tribe. I will not leave without her…and my need is a selfish one, I admit to myself. I want to take her back to the vee-lage so I can claim her as my mate. So she has no more distractions. I force myself to be patient, because I know this is important to her, and she is important to me.
So we hunt roots every day for the metlaks. Trudging through the thick snow and digging out roots takes its toll on both of us, and by the time we return to the cave each night, we are both exhausted. The days that the weather is bad, we have kept to the cave. I thought perhaps it would be awkward between us to be alone again, but we have fallen into an easy companionship once more. Asha keeps busy with weaving and cleaning, and I work on scraping furs. We chat, and she tells me about Claire’s plans for the haw-lee-deh that we are missing. I suppose we should be upset about not being with the tribe for the celebration, but I am enjoying the quiet time with my mate. It’s nice to be alone with her, just the two of us. When we return to the vee-lage, I will give her the presents I have been holding back, waiting for the right time to give her. To show her that my love is unchanging.
But until then, I will be patient and let Asha take the lead.
We walk, and my khui hums in my chest as her hand grazes my arm. My cock immediately hardens, and I reach through my layers of clothing and tighten my loincloth against my flesh. It is difficult to walk with a stiff cock, but I cannot stop. Nor do I want to call Asha’s attention to the fact that I am full of hunger for her. I am letting her lead in this, as well. She will call me to her side when she is ready to mate. Until then, I will endure silently…
…and take myself in hand whenever I have a quiet moment to myself.
I hear Asha’s khui singing to mine, and it makes me smile even as my body fills with tension and need. Perhaps it affects her differently than me. Sometimes, I can smell the scent of her arousal in the air, but she has not indicated that she wishes to mate. She ignores resonance and ignores the song in her chest, so I suspect it does not fill her with the aching, bitter need that I feel. Perhaps she does not wake up in the night, full of unfulfilled desire and hunger. If this is true, then it is good. I do not like the thought of Asha suffering.
I will gladly pay whatever I must to ensure that my mate is content, and if that means ignoring my cock as if it is a frozen, useless limb, then that is what I will do. Until then, I will just imagine spreading my favorite fur cloak onto the snow and laying her down upon it. I will think about pulling off her thick, woolly leggings and revealing her long, beautiful blue limbs and the smooth, bare cunt that seeps with arousal. I will dream of burying my face between her legs and licking her until—
“Do you think they will follow us into the valley?” Asha asks, interrupting my thoughts. “I would hate to think we have come all this way for nothing.”
“They will follow,” I reassure her. “Do not worry.” And I force myself to think of metlaks again, instead of my mate’s sweet limbs or the way she sighs and clutches at my horns when my tongue is buried deep inside her.
“I just want to be sure they are well off before we leave them,” she frets. “We cannot stay out here forever.”
I am glad we are agreed on that. “They follow us yet,” I reassure her, extending my tail backward to her. I am pleased when her tail twines with mine in response. Just a brief touch, and then she detangles it once more, but it is enough.
Today, we have decided that since the metlaks cannot be trusted not to eat all of the supplies we gather them, we must bring them to the food. So we have gone out, trekking through the snows despite the bone-deep cold. Metlaks are territorial and do not venture far in search of food. I believe these two will starve before leaving their territory…but they also know we have food and provide things to eat. Our hope is that if we find a good place with many plants, they will realize that food is nearby and move someplace new. At least, that is our hope. I secretly worry the metlaks might be too stupid to realize this and will continue to follow us endlessly, all the way back to the gorge that houses the vee-lage.
“There,” Asha murmurs, pointing ahead. “I see a cluster of chadok roots. They like those.”
“And there is a stream in the distance,” I agree, noting the puffs of steam rising from the thread of blue at the far end of the valley. I pause and look back at her, walking close behind me. “This is a good place. Perhaps we should dig up a few roots and leave them in our trails?”
She bites her lip, her small fangs white against her mouth. “I do not know if that is a good idea. What if they continue to think we are feeding them? Perhaps we should just make sure our trail goes past the plants and let them figure out the rest.”
I nod agreement. What she says is wise.
We spend the afternoon walking around the valley, pausing by each cluster of plants. There is a variety of foliage here, enough to feed several families of metlaks throughout several seasons. Asha is encouraged when she looks back and sees the metlaks stopping by a few plants to dig them up. By the time the suns begin to lower in the sky, we have trekked around the valley several times and paused by every bit of greenery in the hopes they will realize what we are trying to show them. My mate begins to slow down, her steps lagging as the day goes on. She is tired, but when I suggest we return to the cave, she refuses.
“We have to make sure they have food to eat,” she tells me, protesting.
“We have led them past food several times today,” I say, patient. “They know how to eat, or they would not have grown to adulthood. Let them be, Asha. It will grow colder by the hour, and we must return to the cave so we do not freeze.”
“But,” she begins, and then sighs, flinging her arms up. “Fine! We will return to the cave.” She stomps away in the trail I have cut into the snow for her.
She knows I am right, and so I do not get mad at her frustration. Asha has always burned hot. I move to walk next to her, keeping pace with her angry storming. She ignores my tail when I caress hers, a sign that she is angry, as are her hunched shoulders and deadly silence.
I let her sulk for a bit, and then when she continues to remain quiet, I decide to prod her. “Asha.”
“What?” Her tone is sullen.
“Are you angry? We promised we would tell each other if we were upset, remember?” It is one of the many good conversations we have had in the last two hands of days. One of our big problems is not talking to each other, so we have agreed that if we are upset, we will tell the other. It is a good rule, but we have not had to put it to use…until now. In the past, I would let Asha bluster all she wanted, assuming she would get it out of her system. However, I am learning that her anger is a cue for me to pay attention. That when she is wounded, she turns thorny because she is hurting and she needs to be distracted away from the hurt. So I will make sure she does not dwell on it. “Talk to me.”
“Yes, I am angry,” she snaps back, casting an irritated look over her shoulder at me. “Is it not obvious?”
“Tell me why.”
“Because I am not ready to leave yet!”
“Because you are not ready to abandon the metlaks and their kit, you mean?” I press.
The look she sends me is full of anger. I lift a challenging brow. She sighs, and her lower lip trembles. “I just…what if they cannot take care of Shasak?”
“If they cannot,” I say, keeping my voice low and soothing as I move forward and put my hand on her back, “then there is nothing you can do to change the situation. They are metlaks. They are wild creatures. Let them be. If we were not here, they would find their own food. We must let them survive as they must.”
“I still worry!”
“Of course you worry. They will not be as good parents as you and I.” She looks surprised at my response, and I add, “But they are still his parents.”
She sighs heavily. “I think I liked it better when we did not talk.”
“No, you did not,” I say easily.
&
nbsp; “No, I did not,” she agrees. “I am just being prickly.”
“You are.” I brush my tail against hers and am pleased when hers twines with mine. “But I would not have you any other way.”
Her smile is faint, but it is there. She reaches for me and puts her hand in mine, a human sign of affection that makes my heart leap with gladness. “I just want to know they will be all right.”
I pat the pouch at my hip. “I saved a root from our walk today. We will leave it outside the cave. If they take it, we will know they followed us back instead of staying in the valley. If that is what happens, then we will lead them to it again tomorrow. We will not let them starve, my mate.”
Her eyes shine with relief, and she squeezes my fingers.
I wake up in the middle of the night. It is so cold that my tail—sticking out from under the furs—feels numb. I tuck it in and gaze up at the ceiling, sleepy. I am exhausted, but Asha is pressed against me, her hand on my side, her cheek tucked against my shoulder, and it is making my khui sing to hers. My cock aches painfully, and my entire body is brimming with unfulfilled need. She slumbers on, though, so I do not wake her. I slide out from her grip and stretch, moving to the entrance of the cave. I step outside, shuddering at the intense cold, and relieve myself quickly. The root we left out is still there, iced over. That means the metlaks stayed in the valley. Good. Asha will be relieved. I move back inside, replacing the privacy screen over the entrance, and head to the fire to stoke it up.
Asha sighs in her sleep, turning. I glance over at her absently, and then go still. She is on her back, and the blankets have slipped. Her tunic has hiked up, revealing one teat, the nipple erect. I close my eyes, because a male can only be so strong. My khui sings forcefully, demanding that I get back into bed with her. If I do, though, I will surely touch her…and I do not want to push her into mating with me again. I want her to want me.
But it is cold outside of the furs, and her body is so warm and inviting. I hesitate, and then move back to the bed. I grasp the hem of her tunic to pull it down over her tantalizing body. Even as I do, a wave of her arousal perfumes the air, and I realize her hand is between her thighs, cupping her cunt. I can smell the slick heat of her.
It is too much.
I bite back a groan and move under the blankets, pushing her thighs apart. She makes a small noise, stirring, but does not fight when I press my mouth to the mound of her cunt. Instead, she moans, breathless, and spreads her legs wider. I cannot tell if she is awake or asleep, but her body wants mine. I bury my mouth in her slick folds, dragging my tongue over their sweetness. She is soft here, soft and perfect, and I groan with the taste of her on my lips. I must have her.
Asha moans, and her hands go to my horns, like they have in the past. She pushes my face down, toward the entrance of her body. I obey her, letting my tongue glide down her slick cunt folds until it dips into her heat. She is fiercely hot here, hot and slick with need, and I lap up the taste of her. “Hemalo,” my mate breathes, and the sound of my name on her lips nearly makes me spend my seed. I groan and drag my tongue over the entrance to her core, then thrust inside her with it. She cries out and arches against me, and I mate her with my mouth, pushing into her cunt with my tongue over and over again, as I know she likes. I use one arm to brace my body on the blankets, and with my other, I grip her at the base of her tail.
She makes a high-pitched, keening noise, her legs jerking against my shoulders, I can feel her hands tighten on my horns, and her breath puffs out rapidly. “Yes,” she pants. “Yes! My mate!”
I growl with pleasure at the sound of that. I know how to touch her, how to make her body sing like her khui does. I know everything she likes, and it feels as if I have been given a gift to be able to touch her once more. I do not care about the need throbbing in my cock. I do not care about myself. There is only my mate, Asha, who must be pleasured. I want to make her come, want to taste the juices that will flow when her body clenches up and she screams out her release. She is so wet right now, so full of need that I cannot stop pumping my tongue into her sweetness, lapping it up and pleasuring her at the same time. She whimpers, the sound sweet and agonizing all at once.
I grip the base of her tail tighter, and she squirms in my arms, wild. I cannot use my tongue fast enough, so I decide to use my hand, as well. I lick her folds as my fingers push into her sheath, and use my hand as I would my cock, thrusting into her with my fingers, until she is crying out my name once more and her juices flood onto my hand. I enjoy her shudders, leisurely licking her clean as she comes down from her pleasure, until she pushes my face away and collapses on the furs.
“I was not sure if I was dreaming,” Asha murmurs as I lick my way up her belly to her hard, perfect little teats. I cannot resist tasting the nipples, just once.
“Not a dream,” I tell her, my voice raspy with need. “Just your mate desperate for a taste of you.”
She gives a dreamy sigh and traces her fingers along the length of one of my horns. “Shall I do the same for you?”
I shake my head and drag my tongue over one of her hard nipples, then roll back onto the furs. “No.”
“No?” She sits up and rests on an elbow, looking at me in surprise. “You do not want my touch?”
I want her touch. I want it more than anything. But I want it freely given, not as thanks for my pleasuring her. “It is late, and you are tired. Rest.”
She is quiet in the dark, and then prods my arm with a finger. “I thought we were supposed to talk to each other.”
I chuckle, because Asha knows me better than anyone else. “Fair enough. I want your touch, but I want it too much. If you put a hand on me, I will throw you down on these furs and thrust into your cunt until dawn.”
She shivers. “And this is a bad thing?”
“I want it to be because you want it freely, not because I have licked you and made you feel good.” I pause and then look over at her. “I want it to be your idea. It does not mean the same if it is something I have convinced you to do.”
Asha nods slowly. “I understand, I think. And for me to touch you right now would not be the same, would it?”
It would be pleasurable, but it would not be what my spirit craves. I want my mate back at my side in every way. I want her heart and her body to be with me, not just her body. I swallow back my raging need and nod.
“Very well.” She curls up against my side again and pulls the blankets over us. A yawn escapes her, and she is quiet for a long time. I lie in the darkness, gazing at the embers of the fire and trying to ignore the pulsing throb of my cock. Asha is quiet for so long that I am convinced she has drifted off to sleep. But then, she speaks. “So I am to pounce you, it seems. A surprise pouncing.”
I chuckle. “I suppose so. But it has to be something you want.” I squeeze her shoulder, hugging her tight against me. “If you are not ready, I am content to wait.”
Most of me, anyhow.
16
ASHA
The metlaks have not come back, so there is no reason for us to stay in the cave much longer. Part of me is sad to see the root uneaten in the morning. It means that they will either feed themselves…or starve to death. Hemalo is right, though. I cannot care for a family of metlaks, not when food is so precious to the sa-khui in the brutal season. I miss the warm, fuzzy bundle of Shasak, though, and my heart aches at the thought of him going hungry. I will always worry, I suppose. Hemalo says there is nothing wrong with that, and I agree. It is just who I am. I want to take care of a kit, any kit, given to me.
I am not completely focused on metlaks this frosty morning, though. There is no snow falling this morning, but the skies look gloomy and dark, and we will stay put until it clears once more and then head back to the vee-lage. Hemalo, ever busy, finds things to do around the cave. He has already sharpened his weapons, packed his bag, and is now scraping the skin of a snowcat pulled from the nearby cache. I repaired a hole in one of my boots, but as the morning wears on, I find myself bo
red. I pick up a basket of dried leaves to sort into tea flavors, but my mind is not focused. It is quiet, and I find myself unable to sit still for long. It is not just the concern over Shasak and his family. It is my own unfulfilled resonance and my relationship with my mate that my mind keeps focusing on.
Last night, I was restless in my sleep, and he comforted me with his mouth. I had not realized how much the resonance was affecting me until he put his tongue on my skin, and then I was full of need. I loved every moment of it, and it felt so right to be together again. It felt…good. Perfect. But then he did not want me to touch him in return, and it hurt. I am glad he told me his reason, but I am still fretting about it this morning. His words were not unkind, but I still feel rejected.
And that is why I do not move to him right now and demand that he mate with me. Because deep down, I still worry he will reject me like he has in the past. That I will do something wrong and he will leave me once more. I know it is a silly fear, and he has reassured me, but I cannot help it. I need to be less afraid before I can move forward.
I gaze down at the basket between my legs, frowning.
“What troubles you?” Hemalo asks, not looking up from the skin he is scraping.
The words I want to say stick in my throat. “It is nothing.”
“A lie,” he says calmly. “Not even a good one.”
I hate that he is right. The truth will not budge from my mouth, though, so I cast about for something else to tell him, anything that will distract him. My gaze focuses on his mouth, the soft, fascinating line of it. “Mouth-mating,” I blurt out. “Kissing.”
That gets his attention. He stiffens and glances over at me, the look in his eyes full of heat. “What of it?”
“What made you decide to try it?”
He gazes at me for so long that I feel my khui begin to hum in response. “The hunters seem to enjoy it with their human mates.”
He speaks the truth. Every time I turn around, it seems that a human is putting her mouth on her mate. It is not a sa-khui custom, but that does not mean it is bad. It just seems very…intimate. I toss the idea around in my mind and then say, bravely, “I should like to try it again.”