“No, I’m just not ready yet. Come on, I made us dinner reservations.” I said changing the subject, hoping she’d just leave it.
Following me outside I put my arm around her shoulder and led her to the Range Rover. After putting her bags in the trunk we headed to Peso, a fancy Mexican restaurant in downtown LA. Once inside we sat up on the rooftop patio listening to a local band play, ordering shots of Patron and drinking margaritas. Eating my burrito I was starting to get a happy buzz and enjoying the company. We joked around about things that happened while we were dating. It was fun reminiscing with her. I felt myself smile, really smile, for the first time in what felt like ages.
“Your dimples are showing.” She teased.
“You always liked my dimples.” I whispered in her ear.
Turning her head our lips brushed momentarily. Her fingers touched her bottom lip where mine just were. We shared a look, and I felt bam-bam started to come to life.
“What are we doing, Blake?”
“I don’t know. I thought we were just two, old friends having dinner.” I winked.
“You know what I mean. We can’t Blake. You’ll hate yourself for it, and it won’t make me feel too good either.”
“You wanna get out of here?” I asked, picking my phone up to call a cab.
She nodded, and I made the call. After settling our bill I grabbed her suitcases from my trunk and went to wait on the sidewalk. There were some paparazzi across the street snapping photos. I wasn’t a usual target of theirs, but with the upcoming album coming out they’d take whomever they could get and since Jake wasn’t in LA I was the next best thing. I placed my hand protectively on Rowan’s lower back causing her to look up at me adoringly.
Ten minutes later we were on our way home. I had a small house right down the street from where Jake had his. It was oceanfront and set away from the road. Dropping us off at the end of the driveway we headed inside. I did my best to try and clean up before she got here, but there were still dishes in the sink and clothes scattered around since I was never here.
Shaking her head she walked into the kitchen and picked up a sponge washing the dishes and running the dishwasher. After she was done, she picked up the rest of the clothes and threw them in the washing machine, folding what was in the dryer. When she felt everything was clean enough she changed into a pair of sleep shorts and a top. Taking a bottle of wine out of the fridge and pouring us each a glass, she opened the patio door and stepped outside. I followed her out taking a seat on the swing, patting the seat next to me. It was warm out, but the breeze coming off the ocean made it feel cool. Pulling her knees to her chest she leaned into my shoulder trying to get some body heat.
Using my feet I rocked the swing while we watched the waves crash on the shore. The salty air was blowing her hair around, while the moonlight shined on her angelic face.
“Blake, do you ever get tired off all the smiles you have to fake?”
“Honestly?” I asked, she nodded. “I guess. Sometimes I sit alone trying to collect my thoughts, wishing that it would all just go away so I could be normal. Then I remember how much I love what I do and that I would miss it if I couldn’t play. I tell myself that there are so many people that would beg, borrow, steal and maybe even kill to be where I am. It’s hard sometimes, and it definitely gets lonely. I can’t go out, and date like a normal person because you don’t know who you can trust or who’s just after the fame and fortune. I had some girl tell me she wanted little Harry Potter’s with me this morning.”
“You’ll get there one day. I promise.”
“Do you ever think about how things would be different if you said yes?”
“Sometimes. We were too young though. It wouldn’t have been a good decision. Most likely we’d already be divorced and hate each other. You’d be cutting me a fat alimony check every month for the rest of my life and hate my guts. It just wasn’t our time.” She smiled thoughtfully.
“What about now? Do you ever think about getting back together? With me, I mean.”
“It’s crossed my mind, but I think we’re just better off as friends. I mean I miss the sex we used to have, but our relationship was just too rocky. We’re too much alike, you need someone more grounded than I am.”
I thought about what she said. Funny how it didn’t hurt so much hearing it now, it was almost cathartic. We were here. We were friends. We were okay. Drinking the rest of my wine I pulled her close leaning my head against hers. It was tranquil.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The Illusion of Progress
Piper
Walking in the door from another long day at the shop I was dead on my feet. Cole was doing really good and seemed to be in a better mood the last couple days. He was able to walk on his own without any help and the therapists seemed really happy with how he was progressing. I, on the other hand, was feeling run down and in need of a shower and a bed. Closing the door and hanging up my keys I noticed candles flickering on every surface, but no Cole.
Walking down the hallway I headed to the bedroom, still no Cole. I went back to the kitchen and found a note on the counter asking me to meet him out front. I noticed a silhouette standing under the streetlight. Slowly making my way over I saw he was wearing a black polo shirt and jeans. His face was freshly shaved removing all the stubble that he’d accrued over the last month or so that was more of beard as of this morning. He held his pointer finger up to the sign.
No Dumping.
Looking at him with a perplexed look he dropped down to one knee.
“Piper, I know things have been beyond rough and how you’re still here I’ll never know. I don’t deserve you, or all the sacrifices you’ve made for me. Through everything you were my constant. I promised myself that if you were here when I woke up that I would do everything in my power to prove that I was worthy of you and still failed. Somehow here you are, and I’m ready to be the man that you deserve if you’ll have me. Will you marry me?”
The light reflected off the diamond ring he was holding in his hand. It was a beautiful ring set in an antique setting. My heart was hammering in my chest.
Did I want this?
“Yes.” I said, barely above a whisper.
Sliding the ring into place he stood up and kissed me. Since the surgery he had after the accident we haven’t been able to have sex and it allowed us to solely focus on getting back to a healthy place in our relationship. It was a lot easier once Blake left, for both of us since it was a pissing contest between them.
It was going to be a long road ahead, but together we’d find a way to get there.
The next day I was off from work and heading over to Aubrey’s to see them before they left for LA. She was going to shit a brick when she found out I was engaged. Kissing Cole goodbye, I walked out the door. Driving across town I stopped at the candy store and picked Aubrey up some fudge, hoping to lessen the blow I was about to give her.
I opened the door and called out to her. Jake had taken the babies out for the day to do some last minute errands since they were going to be away for the better part of next week. He wanted to take them along for quality time and to give Aubrey a break.
“Up here.” She yelled from upstairs.
I walked up the stairs to their master bedroom and into the bathroom where she was busy dying her hair. I placed the fudge down on the sink, waiting for her to notice it.
“What the fuck is that?” She shrieked.
“Cole proposed last night.” I smiled.
“Are you playing a joke on me? If you are, it’s seriously not funny, Pipe.”
“It’s not a joke.” I said deadpan.
Looking down next to fudge I was greeted with a surprise of my own.
“Does Jake know?”
“Not yet. I suspected, but it was too early to tell.”
“You guys are going to be the Brady bunch, aren’t you?”
“We both love kids. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were pregnant too.”
> “WHAT!” I screeched. “No way. It’s impossible!” I defended.
“Come on, Pipe. You’ve been hitting the gym like crazy for almost a month, and you haven’t dropped any weight, plus your skin is practically glowing like an alien or something.”
“It’s impossible, Cole and I haven’t had sex. At all.”
“You and Cole haven’t, but you and Blake did.”
“I’m on the pill.” I said firmly, getting angry with her.
“Did you remember to take it while Cole was in the hospital?” Fuck! No, I didn’t. I was sidetracked and didn’t take it regularly. My face gave me away. “Just as I suspected.”
She pulled another test out of the box and handed it to me.
“What do you want me to do with this?” I asked, looking at it like it was going to grow teeth and bite me.
She couldn’t stop laughing. “You need to pee on it, stupid.”
Walking to the toilet I sat down dropping my yoga pants and peed on the damn stick. Washing my hands, I placed it down and went to lie down on the chaise lounge. I started feeling clammy and faint. How could I be so stupid? This could not be happening. Closing my eyes I prayed that this was just a dream and that I would wake up at any moment. After what felt like an eternity Aubrey took a seat next to me.
“It’s positive.” She said, rubbing my arm lightly.
A sob ripped through my chest causing my whole body to shake. No, no, no. I was just putting him behind me and things with Cole were finally back to how they were before. Jake came into the room taking in the scene and looking horrified.
“I just got back and put the kids down for their nap. What’s going on?” He asked, concerned.
Aubrey looked at me, then Jake, then back to me, before going into the bathroom and handing Jake a pregnancy test. His entire face lit up as he picked Aubrey off the floor whirling her around and kissing the fuck out of her face before placing her back on her feet.
“Baby, I’m so happy. This is awesome. We’re going to have another baby!” He said fist pumping the air. “Piper, are those tears of joy? Because they certainly don’t look like it.”
Aubrey handed him another test. It took a minute for it to register, but when it did he came and sat next to me pulling me into his chest, which just made the sobbing worse. What was Cole going to do? How was Blake going to feel? What about the baby? My mind was racing a mile a minute as I continued to ball my eyes out.
“Is it Cole’s?” Jake asked. I shook my head no. “Shit. It’s going to be okay, Pipe. Blake’s a good guy. He’ll make a good dad. He’ll make sure the baby never wants for anything.”
I shook my head again.
“You have to tell him. He deserves to know.” He said adamantly.
“There’s just a small problem, well actually it’s a pretty big problem.” Aubrey said.
“What?” Jake asked confused. She looked down at my hand causing his eyes to follow and bug out of his head. “When did this happen?” He asked thoughtfully.
“Last night.” I choked. “Things have been going so well, and now everything’s falling apart.”
Forcing myself to stand, I pulled away from Jake. “I need to go home.”
“You need to come to LA with us. This isn’t something you can tell him over the phone, Pipe. Promise me you’ll come.”
“I need to go home and think about it. It’s too fucking much to comprehend right now.”
“We’ll be by to pick you up tomorrow. I’ll make sure no one finds out until after you tell Blake. I’ll call and make an appointment for you to see Jake’s doctor out in LA so you can see how far along you are.”
Placing one foot in front of the other I made my way down the hallway and out to the car. Tears blurred my vision as I put the car in drive and headed home to tell Cole. I wasn’t sure how he was going to react, but I knew he wasn’t going to be happy, that’s for sure. Pulling into the driveway I checked my face in the rearview mirror using a napkin to wipe the tear stained mascara lines off my face. My eyes were red and puffy, and my nose was red. There was going to be no denying that I was upset.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain this to him. Hey, I know we just got engaged, but I’m pregnant with another guy’s baby. No matter how you looked at it there was no way it was going to end well. I was going to be alone, raising a baby that belonged to the guy that I was hopelessly in love with that tore me apart with his indifference. My parents would try and help, but they were too free-spirited to be of any real help. They were always taking off on adventures and I never knew when they were going to be around.
My biggest weakness my entire life is that I care too much about everyone else and not enough about myself. I made my way to the front door seeing Cole sitting on the couch through the window. He turned as soon as I walked in.
“You’re back early.” He stood when he saw me and made his way to where I was standing. “What happened? Is everything okay?”
“You’re probably going to want to sit down for this.” I told him, walking over to the couch. He took a seat next to me holding the hand that now held my engagement ring. “I’m pregnant.” I choked out.
Hearing an audible intake of breath his hand started shaking. “It’s his, isn’t it?”
Nodding my head. “There’s no one else that it could be.”
“When?”
“While you were in the hospital. There was one night that I just wanted to forget, and he came here and spent the night. That’s the only time that it could be.”
“How do expect me to sleep with you, let alone marry you, knowing that you’re carrying another dude’s baby. I can’t do it.”
Sliding the ring off my finger I placed it in his hand closing his fingers around it. “I wasn’t planning on asking you to.”
I went into the bedroom and debated what I was going to do. I heard Cole rummaging through the liquor bottles, making things even worse than they already were. Putting my head on the pillow I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
I woke up when I heard things falling over. I turned to look at Cole stumbling into bed. He was beyond trashed. Looking me dead in the face he looked utterly disgusted with me.
“The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you again would kill me, go back to bed.” Sex was the last thing on my mind right now. After staring at the ceiling for hours with my hand absently placed on my stomach I managed to doze off again.
The next morning I woke up feeling the worst I’ve ever felt. Cole was already out of bed, and the tension was oozing from the other room. I showered and dressed in comfortable clothes heading to the kitchen to make some toast. I didn’t want to eat anything, and chances are I was going to have to force the toast down my throat, but I knew I had to eat something.
Popping two pieces of wheat bread into the toaster I grabbed the Nutella from the cabinet grabbing a spoonful and putting it in my mouth. Cole was in sitting on the couch watching TV ignoring me. I looked at what he was watching, it was that stupid CNT celebrity news gossip shit. They were talking about upcoming movies and records that were coming out. I was starting to ignore it when a familiar face flashed on the screen.
“We spotted Blake Potter, the lead bassist for Battlescars tearing up the town last night. We caught him catching a cab, leaving Peso around eleven last night. But what we really want to know is who the blonde beauty on his arm is. Is it possible that he’ll be the next member of the band to settle down?”
“Hey, isn’t that your baby daddy?” Cole snickered.
I dropped the jar of Nutella that I was holding, watching in slow motion as it crashed to the floor splattering the cabinets. Running to the bathroom with my hands over my mouth I kneeled down in front of the toilet and threw up. After throwing up until my ribs hurt I managed to get up and brush my teeth before making a pallet with towels on the floor.
“Where is she?” Aubrey yelled.
“Who cares?”
“Listen dickwad, I’ll break your ugly face if you
don’t get out of the fucking doorway.”
I heard footsteps running down the hallway.
“Piper, we just saw. It’s not what you think.” She said helping me to my feet, pulling me toward the bedroom.
She went into the closet and started filling a suitcase full of clothes. I wanted to tell her not to bother now that Blake had perfect Rowan back in his life, but I couldn’t find my voice. My bottom lip was trembling as I fought back tears, yet again. Jake came in grabbing the suitcase from Aubrey and putting his arm around me protectively.
“Remember what I said asshole!” Jake yelled at Cole as we walked out the front door.
Aubrey climbed into the backseat with me, and Jake drove us toward the airfield. Mark was there waiting on the tarmac, ready to go when we arrived. Jake tossed him the luggage as Aubrey led me up the stairs to a row of seats in the middle of the plane.
“Everything’s going to be fine. Trust me, Blake will understand.”
“And when he doesn’t, what am I supposed to do then?”
“You have me and Jake, plus you know my mom and Granny will help you too. Remember when we were little how we always wanted to get pregnant around the same time. It’s not exactly like planned, but it’s happening. Sometimes the weak become the strong. You’ll get through this. I think Cole has you so brainwashed just waiting for the next bad thing to happen that you can’t even experience the joy that a baby will bring you. It doesn’t matter if you have anyone, you can do this Piper.”
Jake took a seat across from us and pulled out his iPod as Mark taxied the runway for takeoff. Once we were airborne I fell asleep again. I was catching bits and pieces of conversations that Aubrey and Jake were having, but didn’t care enough to pull myself to consciousness.
“Did you call the doctor?” It was Aubrey.
“Everything’s been taken care of.” Jake replied.
“Don’t you dare say anything to Blake! They need to figure this out. I know he’s like a brother to you and all, but if I find out that you went behind my back I won’t put out, indefinitely.”
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