And I had a little surprise for her.
I was pretty sure that she assumed I’d forgotten her birthday was tomorrow but I sure as hell hadn’t. She had never been the type to bring her birthday up to people and make it a big deal, and we hadn’t once spoken about it. I did that on purpose, so that when she saw what I had planned, she would be out-of-her-mind surprised.
At least, I hoped so.
And after the game didn’t go extremely well, I needed her soothing presence to make me feel better. We’d lost and it had been ugly. Our entire pitching staff was off, and I wasn’t sure if I was allowing stuff with Kinley to start distracting me or what, but my batting game had been embarrassing.
We’d had losses up to that point. With over a hundred and sixty games in a season, you were going to have losses and you just had to deal with it. My problem was that I didn’t like when I played like shit. When I didn’t hold my team up like I should have.
When I didn’t feel worthy of being anyone’s hero.
Not only that but I’d also twisted my knee awkwardly as I was sliding into home in the bottom of the fourth, which scared the hell out of me. For a horrifying second, I thought that was it, it was all over. My career was finished. When I grew some balls and eventually stood up, the pain had worked itself out after I took a few steps. I was still going to ice and watch over it the next few days, but I sent up a huge prayer to the man upstairs after that one.
Things continued to get worse whenever I checked my phone after the game and saw a text from Kinley, sent only an hour before.
Kinley: I’m so sorry. The client is changing things up on me and I’ve had to stay even later to finish things up. I’m going to leave first thing in the morning, though. Okay? Hope your game went well! Love you!
I sighed and scrubbed my hands down my face. She had her job to do, just like I did, so I wasn’t going to be bothered about plans changing. It just sucked that this had to happen after a particularly crappy game. I’d call her whenever I got back to the hotel.
I’d feel better after I heard her voice.
Then, I noticed a missed call. From my mother.
We didn’t really talk on the phone—ever—so I couldn’t imagine what it was about. She hadn’t left a voicemail so it couldn’t have been that important. Probably just high off her pills and feeling guilty about something that she wanted to try and apologize to me for. Wasn’t like she hadn’t done it before.
I couldn’t deal with all that shit tonight. I sent off a quick text to Dawson to make sure there wasn’t anything going on that I needed to know about.
Parker: Mom called me tonight during my game. Didn’t leave a message. Anything wrong?
He may have loathed Sal the most out of the three of us, but he’d always been the closest one to Mom. They had a different relationship than that of what Mason or I had with her. Dawson was her first and she hadn’t started using until after Mason was born. So, I think Dawson had always felt conflicted between the good memories he had of her being a clean, sober, and doting mother and what she was today.
Dawson: She called me too. Just one of her “I’m sorry, please forgive me” nights. Don’t worry.
It was pretty sad that as soon as he’d said that, I hadn’t worried once the rest of the night. In fact, I put my parents completely out of my mind until I finally fell asleep.
##
“What you got going on today, Cruz?” Pollock asked as we made our way off the field. It was a sunny, cloudless day, which I was grateful for considering what my plans were with Kinley.
“Taking my girl to Disneyland. It’s her birthday and isn’t that about the only thing to do in this city?”
“She’s in town?”
I nodded. “Yeah. She had a photo shoot in Long Beach and was driving up here this morning. She should be here by now.”
“All the guys really liked her, by the way,” he said and I smiled at that. “You should probably hold on to that one.”
“That’s the plan.”
I was in and out of the locker room in record time, anxious to get out of there and find out where Kinley was. So, when I saw her standing outside the stadium with her sunglasses on, clearly waiting for me, I about tripped over my own feet.
Instead of making a complete fool of myself, I dropped my bag and ran over to her, scooping her up in my arms and crushing her against me—only making a slight fool of myself. Her giggle against my chest was music to my ears. I covered her mouth with mine, holding her face in my hands, never wanting to let go. In fact, I took my time with her until we were both gasping for air.
She let her breath out slowly, the minty smell taking over my senses. “Well,” she breathed, “hello to you, too.”
I rested my forehead against hers. “Happy birthday.”
Her nose twitched as she tried to contain her smile but she couldn’t. “You remembered?”
“Of course, I remembered. How could I forget my girl’s birthday?”
She bit down on her lower lip, so I ran my thumb across it, making her release it from her teeth. “You just never said anything, so I wasn’t sure.”
“Neither did you,” I pointed out.
She gave a short nod. “Fair enough. What do you want to do today?”
I picked up my bag and threw the strap over my shoulder as I took her hand and let her lead us to wherever she parked her rental car. “Well, I feel really bad about that because I kind of already made plans with the guys.”
She shot me a look. “Really?” God, the woman was beautiful even when she was disappointed. “I mean, can’t you hang out with them another day—”
I lowered my face to hers and took her mouth again. “I’m kidding, you dork. I’m taking you to Disneyland.”
The way her eyes lit up, I swear you’d think I said I was taking her on a ten thousand dollar shopping spree or something. “I’ve always wanted to go there! Does that make me sound juvenile?”
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as we walked. “Absolutely not. It just makes you sound like a nerd.” She elbowed me lightly in my side and I leaned down to kiss her head. “How about a kid at heart? Does that sound better?”
“I suppose. But don’t you dare act like you aren’t going to ride every single ride with me, screaming right alongside me,” she said matter-of-factly. “I know you, Parker Cruz.”
I scoffed and pinched her ass cheek, making her squeal. “Please. I’m a man, baby. We don’t scream. Now, let’s go have a tea party with some Disney princesses.”
##
The woman was a maniac.
She was go, go, go from the second we walked into the park, running from one rollercoaster to the next, eating every sticky, sugar-infused snack she could find, and freaking out at every Disney character she came across.
I imagined that this was what it would be like if I were to take Leo and Gabby here.
I was waiting for the sugar crash to eventually hit her but it never came. She dragged me around the entire park—twice—and still had energy to spare. I patted myself on the back, too, because she was having a blast. And as long as she kept that smile on her face, I’d ride as many damn teacups as she wanted.
Miraculously, I’d been able to avoid the pictures and autograph scene all day. Apparently, the people of Anaheim cared more about their Angels than the Red Sox. I was fine with that.
Evening was approaching and we still hadn’t left the park because Kinley wanted to see the Sleeping Beauty castle light up at night and see the fireworks go off behind it.
Little did she know, I was way ahead of her on that.
We were eating dinner, resting our overworked feet, while we watched the people walk past our outdoor table. People of all ages and race, families of all shapes and sizes, and we just sat there in comfortable, companionable silence throughout most of it.
“You want kids, right?” she asked all of a sudden, my mouth pausing its chewing motion around the double cheeseburger I was hoofing down.
&nbs
p; I swallowed and wondered if there was a right or wrong answer here. Regardless, I went with the truth. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I do now. I never used to.” She studied my face as she hung on my every word. “Growing up the way I did, the last thing I wanted to do was bring a carload of kids into my messed up family situation. I guess you could say that I had too many bad memories of my childhood to want to repeat the vicious process.”
“But you wouldn’t be like that with your kids, Parker,” she said insistently. “You aren’t your father.”
It was nice to hear the conviction in her voice as she said it. She truly believed that. “I know that. And I would love my kids more than anything in the world, of course. But I could still screw them up. I’ve got so much emotional baggage myself that I could mess up their minds without even realizing it.”
She pursed her lips as she considered her words. “But I think that’s the dilemma of every parent. Nobody’s perfect and parenting is never easy. You just have to do the best you can and love them no matter what.”
I nodded and set my burger down, taking a drink of my soda. “I’ve come to learn that, watching Dawson raise Leo and Gabby. He’s probably got more emotional issues than I do, yet he’s been able to raise two amazing kids. I think if he can do it, I can do it.”
She hesitated for a second and then asked, “So, you’ve changed your mind? You want a family now?”
I nodded slowly, watching a family of five take a group picture with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. “Yeah, I do. I’ve thought about it for a while, and I knew from the get-go that I definitely wouldn’t want children with someone I didn’t love. When I make the commitment to do that, I want to be all in. Married and living together and everything. I’d want to be fully vested in my kids, live like a family.”
I shrugged and continued. “I’ve just seen a lot of guys who have gotten their girlfriends pregnant but never wanted to marry them. Or guys who divorced their wives and can only see their kids every other weekend. I don’t want that for me. I want to give my kids a better home than I ever had, better parents. And up until recently, I’d never had that desire to start a family because I didn’t love anyone enough to do all of that with. Without the woman I wanted to be with, kids weren’t on the brain much.”
“And recently, you have been thinking about it?” I could tell she was being careful with her word choices, afraid that I’d say something she didn’t want to hear.
I just met her eyes and smiled. “I told you I’m all in with you, Kin. I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, or ever. I want everything with you, as long as you want it. And when the day comes that we’re ready to start our family, just know that I’ll be the best father to them you could ask for. And the best husband to you.”
It was crazy to think that at this time a year ago, Kinley wouldn’t even speak to me and now here we were, talking about having kids together.
She leaned forward and pulled me into her by the back of my neck, attacking my mouth with her lips. “I swear, if we weren’t in a family establishment right now, I’d be sitting on your lap and riding you so damn hard,” she whispered huskily into my ear.
Well, fuck.
Who knew that talking about kids would get a woman so hot?
Pretty much any dumbass who knew that women had sperm-seeking ovaries.
“Hey, don’t let me stop you. These kids have got to learn about the birds and the bees sometime.”
She shook her head and sat back down in her chair. “You’re terrible.”
I waggled my eyebrows at her. “But you love me.”
Her face turned serious and when she looked at me, she didn’t even blink. “Yeah, I do.”
An hour and a funnel cake later, I was leading her through the crowd over to the giant castle. It was finally dark and everyone was gathered near the large structure to watch the lights and fireworks show that was guaranteed to light up the night sky. I guided Kinley to the front of the fence so she’d have the best view and placed her in front of me, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind.
With the sun gone, there was a light breeze in the air but it wasn’t cold, merely refreshing. It blew Kinley’s hair around, permeating the area directly surrounding us with its flowery scent. The light show started at nine o’clock on the dot, the colorful lights synchronized with various Disney songs, which I was only able to recognize due to numerous nights of babysitting the twins. We hadn’t exactly watched many Disney movies in our house growing up.
Finally, at nine thirty, the fireworks started.
They started shooting up into the air with loud bangs and brilliant flashes of color. The combinations were awe-inspiring and Kinley had gone still in my arms at the sight. I leaned down to peek at her profile to see her mouth frozen into a spectacular smile.
I hadn’t forgotten that fireworks were one of her favorite things in the world. That had pretty much been the point to all of this. It was clear the show was nearing its end when they started firing off about fifty fireworks at once. I watched the sky carefully, waiting patiently, until finally…
Kinley gasped and her hand flew up to her mouth.
Up in the sky in glittering letters, sparkling brightly, were the words “HAPPY BIRTHDAY KINLEY.”
“Oh my God, Parker,” she whispered through her fingers, never taking her eyes off the words. “How did you…?”
I leaned down and brought my mouth to her ear. “I’m magic.”
More like I’d had a roll of bills and the park was willing to help out one of the most popular professional athletes in the country. Funny what money and the right name could get you. But for Kinley, to see that smile on her face and her eyes glistening with unshed tears, I didn’t care about name dropping.
A giddy laugh escaped her mouth and I saw her quickly swipe her finger under her eye. “I can’t believe you did this.” She turned around in my arms and wrapped her own around my neck. “It’s amazing.”
“You’re amazing, Kin. I hope you know how much you mean to me. How I’d do anything for you.”
The kiss she gave me in response let me know that she did.
“I love you,” she breathed against my mouth.
I let out a short laugh, the sound carrying a note of disbelief. “You have no idea how much I love you, too.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kinley
I felt like death.
I hadn’t had the flu since I was in elementary school and threw up all over the floor of the nurse’s office when I hadn’t been able to make it to the trash can. So far, I’d been able to reach my toilet every time I felt my stomach revolt against me, but that didn’t make it any better. I was still clammy, still had cold chills, still only able to keep down saltine crackers, but just barely.
Like I said, death.
And wouldn’t you know it, the day I came back from the doctor with my medicine to then crawl miserably into bed for thirteen hours straight was the same day that my air conditioner decided to go on the fritz.
In the middle of June.
It would kick on and off, so it wasn’t totally stifling in my apartment but it wasn’t comfortably cool either. It was being as temperamental as my own body temperature. I could have asked to stay with someone like Norah or my parents, but I didn’t want to get anyone else sick. And I wasn’t sure I could travel anywhere at this point.
I was laying on the couch at the moment, watching the beginning credits of Clueless because I just needed to live in a silly, carefree world for a little while. For some reason, plaid skirts and knee-high socks seemed to make me temporarily forget about my bodily discomfort.
My phone buzzed on my coffee table. Just reaching out to grab it made me feel like I might lose the five crackers I’d scarfed down an hour ago. Kill me now.
Parker: How you feeling?
I tried to smile but I’m sure what eventually came out looked pretty pathetic. I hadn’t told Parker the extent of my illness because I knew that he had just landed back in Bos
ton and had tomorrow off before he started another three-game series against the Los Angeles Dodgers. I knew he was tired and jet-lagged, and I wasn’t about to complain to him, making him feel obligated to come down and take care of me.
A little fever and vomiting never hurt anyone, right?
Kinley: Not great, but I’ll live. Sorry I can’t make it to your games.
Parker: Don’t worry about it, baby. I just want you to feel better.
I was positive that he was the only man on the planet who could have made me forget how much my stomach hated me in that moment.
Kinley: Call me when you have a chance later.
Parker: Will do. I love you.
Kinley: Love you too.
I fell asleep sometime after that and I wasn’t sure for how long. All I knew was that when I opened my eyes, the DVD had went back to the main menu—guess I “watched” the whole thing—and someone was knocking on my door.
With a pitiful groan, I pushed myself up and threw the blankets off my body. I ripped my zip-up hoodie off, suddenly so hot I could barely breathe, and took a deep breath. Walking was going to be the hard part. I slowly and carefully lifted myself off the couch and, at a snail’s pace, made my way over to the front door.
“Who is it?” I asked since I had no peephole. I really needed to talk to the landlord about installing those on everyone’s doors. It was a matter of safety.
“Ryan,” came the voice on the other side of the door.
Ryan?
I hadn’t invited him over, had I? With the dosage of meds I was taking, my memory was crap so anything was possible at this point. If I’d had sex with Hugh Jackman I probably wouldn’t have remembered it. Okay, maybe that’s going too far. I had a vague recollection of telling Ryan that my new prints were going to be a little late getting to him because I was sick, but I couldn’t remember saying anything else.
I undid my locks and opened the door to find Ryan standing there in his tailored suit and signature toothy smile. “Hey, Kinley. You look like hell.”
Playing for Kinley (Cruz Brothers Book 1) Page 28