Purgatorium

  I continue fixing my tie. Gabriel looks over at the Rubik’s cube sitting on the bookshelf near the window. He doesn’t seem bothered by my dismissive attitude.

  What does any of this have to do with my race in six days?

  Gabriel gets up in my face.“Your race isn’t just a normal everyday jog in the park kind of race. There are rules you need to learn. Rules that can make or break you. It isn’t all one foot over the other. Got it cupcake?”

  I can tell by the way he said cupcake that his mind is wandering towards food again. I fix my tie.

  “Today is that opportune moment. Today, you will learn how the game is played with time as your only enemy. Whatever you know about time, forget it. The time here keeps order so chaos can be controlled. Whatever you might think or know, time doesn’t just make the rules; it enforces them. You may have gotten to choose the scenery and this lovely wallpaper,” Gabriel continues, staring at the Rubik’s cube, “but a prison is still just a prison no matter how much money you have in your closet. I am here to help you escape by showing you the blueprints to your soul-made reality.”

  I feel annoyed at Gabriel’s continuing nonchalance. What’s so special about the Rubik’s cube anyway? I wonder, watching Gabriel stare at it.

  “You know, I was the one who came up with this genius invention. It was supposed to test the mind, but people started cheating by calculating mathematically how to reach the end result. The fastest time was 6.77 seconds by a kid named Feliks Zemdegs. He literally spent every day twisting and turning this little toy until completing it became simple. How fast he could do it then became the main challenge.”

  Gabriel jumbles up the cube. He looks at the time: 4:30. He quickly starts working on solving it. Just as the time reads 4:31, he completes it. His face remains calm, unmoved. Gabriel tosses the cube to me. The colors are scattered once again.

  “Let’s see if you can beat his own record,” Gabriel says. “Michael helped you to release your locked away emotions, which makes it now possible to unlock that brain power of yours. Ever since you switched that light on inside that noggin of yours, you have been experiencing minor percussions. Being in a one track mind for so long will do that to a person. It’s hard to control those thoughts and feelings all piling in at once. Eventually, it causes a big pile up! To some people that is called being bipolar.”

  Did he just call me bipolar?

  “It can be a little overwhelming, I’m sure. The traffic flow inside your central nervous system is getting bogged down. Ergo, the reasons behind your short temper and dismissive moods. One of my jobs for today is to be your crossing guard. Meaning getting that heavy flow of traffic inside your fragile little mind in order. That’s where the Rubik cube comes in. It will center your focus on to one object, making it easier for your thoughts and feelings to sort themselves out quicker from all the concentration your putting forth. Simple science.”

  He mostly just told me that he is trying to fix my bipolar disorder. That is what he just said to me. I think I want to strangle him, though that would just prove his point even further.

  “I know what you’re thinking, Pinocchio, but clipping your strings doesn’t mean you can walk on your own just yet. It’s a slow, painful, and at times, a boring process to get you fully up to speed. That’s why we have this system in place. So let me do my job before we have another bipolar outburst on our hands. Okay? Great. Let’s get that traffic a moving, starting with you working on that Rubik’s cube.”

  Gabriel goes back to his cereal bowl while jabbering on to himself about the food industry and complaining about Big Mac prices rising ten cents.

  I look at the cube and then up at Gabriel. He’s toying with me, just like the other angels. I just stare at him, unmoved. Gabriel slurps away the last remaining milk in the bowl, taking his sweet time. I sit back, annoyed at the questions that still aren’t answered.

  “So...What’s for breakfast?” Gabriel says, throwing away his empty bowl.

  I reach into the bowl on the living room table, pick up an apple, and throw it hard to Gabriel, who simply catches it and puts it in his coat pocket. “I will save that for later.”

  I look down at the cube still in my hand and begin to rearrange it.

  “As you already know, we can only help you to a certain point. I cannot tell you anything about your past life or the secret to getting you out of here. But I can help you open your eyes enough to see the flaws this world hides,” Gabriel says, nodding his head toward the mirror. “You saw me where I never was and where I could not be. And yet, within that very place, my face you often see.”

  He takes out the 8 pictures that Michael took yesterday and hands them to me. I look at the first one being a picture of my bathroom.

  “8 pictures. 8 flaws.”

  Confused, I look back at the bathroom mirror, repeating over the riddle in my head. My face you often see….reflection? I think.

  Gabriel looks at the mirror and back at me. I look over at the mirror as well, but all I see is my reflection. He takes the picture from my hand and forces it in my face.

  It has something to do with my bathroom mirror but I can’t see anything but my reflection.

  “Two bodies have I, though both joined in one, the more I stand still the faster I run. What am I?” He pauses.

  I look at him not knowing what the answer is. If I just had time…Gabriel interrupts my thinking by placing the picture on the edge of the mirror.

  “Nothing? You seem to be doing and seeing things differently this time around. It’s strange because you don’t change. You never change. You never ever change! But, here you are, changed, and not for the better it appears. You usually always get my riddles.”

  Gabriel suddenly jumps beside me, grabs me by my jacket, and throws me against the front door. I am slightly shocked but cannot bring myself to say anything.

  “Maybe this is a sign. Maybe we are finally going to get it right this time. You’re going to get it right this time. Let the third day of school begin! Hope you brought snacks.” Gabriel looks at the clock and yells, “Five minutes!”

  My watch beeps.

  5 Minutes

  Anxious about the time, I turn around, put my hand on the doorknob, and start turning it.

  “Wait!” Gabriel shouts. I stop and Gabriel puts his used gum on the handle. “Did you say something?” Gabriel asks.

  I try to say “No” but nothing comes out.

  “Oh, okay, never mind,” he says.

  I quickly turn the knob, pull the door toward me and, as I step into the hallway, realize Gabriel is gone.

  The door across the hall opens and the waitress emerges from her apartment. I am surprised and relieved to see she is still alive and all in one piece. But how? I wonder. I still have the Rubik’s cube in my hand. She looks at it with an amused expression on her face. She lifts her hand and waves to me. I see her finger is back whole.

  I reach back down to the stocking, take out a pack of gum, open it, and offer her a stick. She accepts it, smiling. Then she continues down the hall to the elevator and walks in through the open doors. She faces back towards me, taking a bite. Her lips form another sign of happiness as the doors shut in front of her.

  I am happy she is okay. It’s a funny thing to feel happy. Just a couple days ago, I couldn’t feel or care for anything, let alone be happy. It’s the smallest things I have taken for granted.

  I get distracted, looking at her door number as it displays a “5” in its center.

  I close my door and see the number “6.” For some reason, the sight of the number sends a chill through me. I turn and walk to the elevator and notice that my floor is on level “6.” I wonder what this means. I press the down arrow, play with the cube for about 30 seconds, and the elevator doors slide open in front of me.

  Why does the number six come up so many times? I wonder as I continue playi
ng with the small devise. I feel the elevator going down as I look up to the painting. The glowing cross shimmers a glare in my eyes. It’s electric blue colors sink me in to its pool of grace. For just a tiny second, I felt a warmth.

  I regain focus of the time on my watch.

  I’m running a little late. I need to get to my car and get going. Time is ticking away. I exit into the lobby and stop fiddling with the Rubik’s cube.

  I scamper out the front door of my apartment building and look across the street to my car. I start to walk to it when all of a sudden it explodes. The aftershock sends me to the ground. My car!

  Gabriel? I think, enraged. I am going to kill him. I look at my watch as it suddenly starts to beep.

  10 Minutes

  I panic, not knowing what to do. I look around for another car but there are none in sight. Suddenly, I hear a familiar sounding noise to my left. It’s music. But it isn’t time yet to hear the music! I grow angry at the thought of finally understanding this place and now this happens. The music gets clearer as I begin to remember hearing this soft tune from my childhood.

  Turning my head in the direction of the sound, I see an ice cream van driving toward me, slowing down. It pulls up beside me. The passenger door opens and I can see Gabriel sitting in the driver’s seat with ice cream dripping from his mouth. Irate and frustrated, I glare at him.

  “Ten minutes past! Come on. Don’t be angry. I’m just doing you a favor. Consider me your driver for the day,” Gabriel says, smiling at me. “That, and I was hungry. Ice cream.” He extends out a popsicle that looks like a reaper. “I do have to warn you that you might get a brain freeze out of this one,” he says, giggling.

  I take it and throw it in his face. Reluctantly, I get in and shut the passenger door. He puts the car in drive and pushes down on the pedal. I look back at him eating the rest of the ice cream off his face.

  Gabriel gets a brain freeze as he begins to accelerate rapidly. We drive onto the onramp of the interstate and I’m afraid of what will happen next.

  I continue with my Rubik’s cube, trying to clear my mind from his reckless driving. Gabriel continues to eat one popsicle after another. After a long abnormal burp, he looks back at me.

  “Okay, class,” continues Gabriel, “today’s teachings will include rules and guidelines for your final race in a few days time. Now speaking of time, that will be the most crucial of all the things you will ever learn. You see, because time here is a dimension in which every move you make occurs in sequences. Five-minute sequences to be exact. A full day lasts only 60 minutes. Which you already gathered why by now, surely.”

  Gabriel puts the car on cruise control and goes back to the refrigerator. I take the wheel so we don’t crash as he comes back with ice cream sandwiches in his mouth and two popsicles in his hands. He hands me a popsicle. I glance down at it and see that it resembles my face. I look at Gabriel like he is crazy.

  “Now! At each 5 minute interval there will be a pivitol place in which you must stay for 5 minutes before you can proceed. I like to call these places time zones. What I am referring to when I say time zones are places such as the nasty coffee shop, your grungy office, the horrible service restaurant, the old rickety subway train, your gloomy high-rise apartment, and this hell driven highway full of cars that don’t know how to drive!”

  Gabriel honks at the car in front of us. He then jerks left with the stearing wheel, crossing over different lanes. He yanks the wheel back right, colliding with the car that was once in front of us, making it crash into another vehicle. We speed on past them while Gabriel laughs as if he had just won a race. Through my rearview mirror, I can see a huge car pile-up behind us. Fire and smoke are all that’s left.

  Once Gabriel is calm again he looks over to me and says, “Let’s be friends!” He takes out another popsicle and shows it to me. I see that it looks exactly like him. “Look at me! I’m eating myself!” He takes a bite and laughs like a crazy person. He looks at me with his mouth open as he keeps laughing. “You’re cool. How’s that cube looking?”

  Utterly confused, I nod to placate Gabriel. I look down at the Rubik’s cube and see that I have subconsciously been working on it. One of its sides is all blue. Gabriel grabs the cube from me and throws it out the window onto the interstate.

  Surprised, I look at Gabriel incredulously. “You were doing it wrong,” he says. “You’ll try again later.” I feel my anger begin to bubble inside me again.

  “First things first. I am sure you have gathered what you must do by week’s end, but what you don’t know are the obstacles that will be in place for you throughout the big race!”

  Michael did say there was going to be more to it than that. I bet the obstacles that Gabriel is referring to are just the reapers. If that’s the case, then all I would have to do is hit each time zone within the structured set time, making the reapers stop each time I get into a separate time zone. I could easily accomplish that, no sweat.

  “Running a solo race seems a bit too easy for a prize that is worth more than anything you could possibly think of. Wouldn’t you say?”

  I can see he is intimidating me but the thought of living again is worth any price. Hopefully, it won’t be that complicated.

  “This place appears to be flawless. But what is it to be flawless except being less flawed? There is a flaw here, in fact. You must find it. You must use and abuse this flaw. This flaw is the lock to your front door, back door, and side door—all the doors surrounding your mind. Nowhere to escape. But most importantly it’s the door that once you open, will lead you up and out of this place. Remember, we can only ask the questions. You are the one who has to find the answers. This whole place is just one big test, game, puzzle, maze, a freakin’ clown show. But once you learn how to beat it, then comes the fun part.”

  A flaw? I thought I just had to run a race? I am so confused.

  Now on the interstate, Gabriel swerves past cars, barely missing, accelerating dangerously, maniacally. I brace myself, holding tightly to the door handle and dashboard.

  “Pop open the glove box, if you please, and hand me my leftovers.”

  I open it and see there is a half-eaten, old-looking lollipop on its side on top of its wrapper. Slightly disgusted, I carefully lift it up and hand it to Gabriel, who takes it and puts it in his mouth.

  Gabriel is still passing cars quickly and dangerously. Up ahead in the left lane is a truck with glass windows. Gabriel pulls up alongside it and gazes toward my left pocket.

  I see he is trying to give me a hint to something. Reaching my hand inside my left pocket, I take out the collection of pictures that Michael took and look through each of them, not knowing what to find. I suddenly see a picture of the glass that the truck is carrying. I show it to Gabriel.

  He nods, almost sarcastically towards me.

  I look up at the cargo of glass windows and think, Is something reflecting off the glass? A mirror image of some sort like my bathroom mirror? I look into the window’s reflection and only can see me. What is it supposed to be reflecting?

  I look at the pictures once again and find that they’re not random but instead clues! These must be the flaws that Gabriel is talking about!

  “Ding! A reflected duplication of an object that appears identical but is reversed, right? Wrong! Logic and reason don’t exist here. Down can be up. Up can be down. God is the devil. You feel me? Look past the reflected image and see what really lies inside. You will find the flaw in this place by first discovering your own flaw.”

  I still have no clue what Gabriel is babbling on about. I try to focus, but everything is going too fast for me to be able to concentrate.

  A car with license plate PETER310 pulls up alongside us. Gabriel breaks the rest of the lollipop off its stick and drops the stick onto the driver’s side floor. Abruptly, he hits the car in front of us. The car spins out of control as Gabriel just laughs
.

  I can’t stand this anymore! He is like a child just playing games with my life!

  Shocked and enraged, I clench my jaw and glare at Gabriel, who continues to laugh. I grab the steering wheel and jerk it to the left. The car swerves right and hits the truck carrying the glass.

  Gabriel, now alarmed, grabs the wheel and looks over at the glass. “Is it broken?” he screams. I look over to find the glass unbroken. Gabriel quickly weaves over to the shoulder of the highway. As soon as we are on the shoulder, he slams on the brakes. The car comes to an abrupt halt.

  Gabriel turns to me. In a serious, dark tone, he says, “If that glass would have broken, then all that we have worked for would have been erased.”

  I look at him confused, not understanding.

  “Did Michael not go over the three reasons why a reaper would get summoned to you?”

  I think back to when Michael said that only if I leave before or far after the specific time on which I need to leave, only then will the reapers make an appearance. That counts as two, I guess. There’s a third reason?

  “Well that explains your cocky attitude towards all of this! You see there is a third way that reapers can be summoned. During your final race, you can’t just run into each time zone on the exact time and win. If that was the case, then you would have already won from what you had done yesterday by you just walking the whole thing!!” Gabriel cools himself down.

  I think about it for a second and he is right. Why can’t they just tell me what I need to do?!

  “What you just did would have rang the brunch bell for the reapers to come chew our heads off. Do you understand me? Push me again and see what happens.”

  Gabriel puts the van in drive and stomps the gas pedal, all the while leaving me with only my built-up anger and thoughts.

  Don’t push him? Don’t push him? I think angrily. Is he kidding? All they’ve done is push me around. What’s so special about some reflection I can’t even see? How would breaking a piece of glass bring one of them out anyway?!

  Gabriel feels around under the dash, pulls off a piece of chewed gum stuck to it, and puts it in his mouth.