Purgatorium

by J. H. Carnathan

  In that moment, I think he has come to terms with being misled about the token he thought he knew.

  He turns around, eyes focused on the knife stuck in my chest, almost as if he were horrified from it. “How? How Is this possible?”

  I take the knife sticking out from my chest, tossing it over my shoulder. I reach in my right pocket, showing him my armor. The sight from his angered facial expression sends a smile to my face.

  I use the book to strike his neck, sending Greed down to his knees. His breathing makes a sharp wheezing sound as he tries to catch his breath. Putting the book back inside my jacket pocket, I turn to the panel and switch on the emergency stop button. The doors hold their place, not to close us inside.

  I can tell his anger has been replaced by fear. Looking at my Greed’s face, he knows the predicament he is now faced with. “Wait! Wait!” he pleads. “You still have time to change your mind. You hear me? You still have time.”

  I cock back the pistol and push it into his open mouth. I can barely make out his words as he continues pleading, “You need me! You need me if you want to still save her!”

  I know it’s true. I reach across with my left hand and take his Jack of hearts card out of his vest pocket, putting it into my own pocket. I breathe a sigh, forcing the pistol deeper into his mouth. My finger presses heavy on the trigger. The temptation is unbearable as every inch of me wants to end him. The cards are all on the table and what I do next can either make or break me.

  My greed replies to my thoughts, “Is she worth the gamble? Is she your book of revelation?”

  After a few short seconds, I slowly lift my finger away from the trigger and retract the gun out from my Greed’s mouth.

  I will not fold to the evils of this generation, I think to myself.

  “Are you a lost soul or a soul survivor?” my Greed says under his bloody tongue, sliding over up against the elevator wall.

  “I’m David,” I simply respond, taking out my King of spades card from my jacket pocket and showing it to him. His eyes bulge open almost instantly knowing its true identity.

  I say with no restraint in my voice, “And I’m content.”

  He covers his ears as if those words were like nails on a chalk board. I look over at the top of the button display at the card slot. I stick the card in. The emergency switch lights up green. I stow the card back in my jacket while the elevator almost instantly begins to shake. I release the emergency switch and take a step back from the elevator. Turning my head, I notice Stephanie walking out of the stairwell.

  “Do you have any idea what time it is?” she says to me.

  I quickly look at my watch which reads: 59:30.

  I look down at the broken snow globe, pick it up, and carefully put it inside my front pocket. The elevator doors begin to shut as Stephanie steps in front of it, staring at me.

  “I am so proud of you,” she says.

  Without warning, Stephanie’s hair gets pulled back. I quickly rush over to find my Greed’s hand tugging at it in between the closing doors. I try yanking her free of him but he won’t budge. I hear the elevator beginning to take launch. Looking around to find something useful, I notice my hatchet that my Greed had tossed to break the final hourglass. It lies a few feet away from me.

  I rush over and slide my body on the icy ground. Reaching out my hand, I quickly grasp hold of it. I run back, lift the hatchet above my head, and force it down on his arm. The sharp blade slices it off and onto the rooftop floor. Stephanie gets loose while I get in front of her, blocking Greed from making another attempt.

  Looking into his green eyes, I see blind rage coming from them. In seconds, he goes mad with laughter, whistling the snow globe’s melody in an ominous tone right before the elevator doors shut him in all the way.

  The rooftop rattles as the elevator launches up, breaking any cables that tie it down.

  I turn back and see Greed’s clenched fist hand breaking away like bright blue puzzle pieces. Its dead fingers open as I notice Madi’s ring rolling out from it. It hits the frame, bouncing wildly up into the air. Without thinking, I immediately run after the ring. The launching from the elevator makes the ring get caught by a sudden gust of wind and blows over the ledge, off the roof.

  Suddenly, all the reapers above me begin to vibrate. I wind the snow globe one more time and swan dive, headfirst over the ledge. The music begins to play as I reach out my right hand, feeling the gust of cold wind brushing up against my face.

  The frozen remains of the reapers explode, sending a wave of water towards me. I grab the ring in midair. As the wave of water quickly approaches from behind me, I clutch the ring tightly. The time for acceptance has come to play.

  I concentrate on the melody. I feel the flood of water touch my feet. I am near the bottom with only seconds remaining. My watch counts up the last remaining seconds: 56, 57, 58. The wave engulfs me, submerging me as if it were in some way cleansing my soul. I close my eyes, letting faith guide me in.

  My watch beeps 60:00 as it fades to black.

  SUNDAY

  Revelation 2.0

  I feel a little hand grasp on to my arm. I open my eyes to see I am in the darkened abyss of the ocean. I look up to see Lily pushing me upward. With every push we make, I can see the light from the full moon beaming brighter down towards me. I explode through the watery surface and raise my face to the moon rays. I feel for my coin necklace making sure it’s still safe.

  I look over to find Lily standing on a small sandbar right next to me. I yell out in excitement, knowing that I am forever free of that prison. I hear Lily’s childlike laugh as I concentrate on it, swimming in her direction. I lift myself up and stand, gazing out at the clear ocean view. The moon, hung high in the sky, is a perfect silver disk, bleaching the land into a ghost-like replica of daytime.

  I focus on Lily, holding the as-good-as-new snow globe in her hands. I look around, hoping to see Madi, but she is nowhere to be found.

  “Where are we?” I say to her, looking back to see the sandbar isn’t just a sandbar after all. It is a small island in the middle of the ocean with a small beach and a wooden cabin with the same tall oak tree from my prison, beside it. It appears to be not too far from where I am standing. She winds the snow globe. As the music plays, my memories of this place begin to feel a lot clearer.

  “I know this place. This is where Madi and I wanted to go on our honeymoon. That was going to be the cabin we would have stayed in but we never had the time or money since we just had Anna. Why did the music from the snow globe lead me here, though?”

  “Remember when you first played it for Anna? What were your first thoughts?”

  “I felt like a horrible father for giving her a gift that was five dollars at a pawn shop.”

  “Then after that?”

  I take a few seconds and suddenly realize my true intention. “Then I thought about making it up to the both of them by taking them here. Where I should have taken Madi years ago.”

  “You and Madi were both thinking of the same thing at that exact moment in time,” she says smiling at the snow globe. “A peaceful place to find clarity in the mind. This would be your heaven in some ways.”

  I smile, knowing more than ever that I picked the right choice. I look out at the beauty that surrounds me. The tree’s branches swaying in the wind, the crystal clear ocean view, and the full moon shinning light around the whole scene.

  “Where are we now? Am I actually in Madi’s prison?”

  “Not quite there yet; we are merrily in between.”

  Confused I say, “In between?”

  “Think of it as a big hourglass. Your world lies at the bottom and her’s at the top. We are right now at its center, waiting for it to tip back over. Once the tides dry up and turn to dust, then you will be there.”

  A few seconds pass as I wonder how long it will take. I look
at my watch and oddly see that it is stuck on sixty minutes. I look back at the dead oak tree. It still appears hauntingly uneasy to look at. Inside its dark opening, I can still see the sinful door within it. I think back to my greed at that moment.

  “We were so close,” she says, looking up at me. “Why couldn’t he be good like you?”

  I take out my handbook from my jacket pocket. Miraculously, the hole that came from the knife stabbing is gone and it doesn’t even appear remotely wet. I am no longer shocked by this, having seen it survive so many destroyed attempts in its past use.

  Looking down at the book I say, “‘For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness.’ His soul could never be purified because he believed in only one thing, sweetie—greed. He never could believe in its words because he couldn’t understand them. A demon only thinks of what benefits itself…not others.”

  “But now that he’s free and remembers, aren’t you worried about what he might do?” she asks. “And how are you going to get back?”

  I look at her and calmly say, “Remember the most important thing I taught you?”

  She nods. “All you need is faith and everything else is all in my head.”

  I place my hand on top of her head and say, “That’s right, smart girl. What you learn and how you choose to go and implement it are all controlled by what’s upstairs. Whether it be good or bad. Only you can make the decision for yourself. Not the demons whispering in the back of your head, telling you you’re not good enough. Remember instead, of what all you have learned and what you know is right. It’s all in your mind, because you make your life. Let faith be your guide.”

  I take my hand away, watching her eyes focused on the book in my hand.

  “This is my trusty handbook. It’s the guide to finding faith. If you think your mind is able, I would like you to look after it for a bit. Can you do that for me?”

  She eagerly nods.

  I hand her the book. She takes it and immediately wraps her arms around my legs, hugging me tight.

  I look down, saying to her, “Thank you for everything. If it wasn’t for you giving me her snow globe, I would have never known about what happened to Madi. I will keep my promise to you.”

  I close my eyes, praying for my daughter and how I hope she will be safe. When I open back my eyes, Lily is gone. I look down and see the snow globe she left for me. I pick it up and shake it, knowing I will see her again.

  I begin scanning the small island again for Madi. I turn and walk toward the back door to the cabin.

  I walk in and see that it’s an exact replica of my house. I search every room of the house. “Madi!” I call out a number of times till I realize that she is nowhere to be found.

  “She isn’t here,” I hear someone say behind me.

  I turn to see Stephanie, leaning her back up against the front door. I walk over, putting my back up against the wall and sliding down. Now, lying beside her, a few seconds go by with no words yet to be spoken.

  “So how does it feel being a lost soul?” she says to me.

  “Feels cold,” I reply.

  “Yeah, it’s like what they say about how a human body warms the soul. And since you let your demon walk around in your body, you’re stuck in permanent Alaska, my friend. That’s coincidentally why the reapers can’t see us. Don’t worry though, you will get use to it.”

  Stephanie hands me my bag and says, “I thought you might need this for the long journey ahead. It was somewhat hard collecting all of them so you better appreciate me dearly for this kind gesture.”

  I look through it and see my book, hatchet, matchbook, flask, Polaroid camera, butterfly knife, baton, and pistol. I take the pistol out and see the lamb on the outside of it. I then turn it around to try and take out the musket bullet from within it but suspiciously nothing comes out. I hide any reactions or thoughts deep inside, turning my head to her, saying with a polite smile, “Thank you, Stephanie.”

  “I still don’t understand. I thought you fired all seven of your lead balls? How do you have one left?” she asks me.

  “I hid one of the bullets for safe keeping inside the snow globe and added a little exploding fluid in the mix just before the reapers took Greed’s memories away,” I explain.

  I put the pistol and snow globe in the bag Stephanie had brought me. I close it tightly, lift it up, then onto my shoulder.

  I look at her. “We really did it, didn’t we?” I ask.

  “No, you did. I might have helped a little though,” she smiles.

  I get out the book I wrote and stare at it, thinking only of finding Madi.

  “Do you regret not going back to your home?” Stephanie says to me.

  I open my book to the first page. I see the title: “A Face to Call Home.” I look resolutely at Stephanie. “She is my home.”

  I begin to shiver a little more. My body must be trying to adjust. Being a lost soul might be little harder than what Stephanie made it out to be, I think.

  Stephanie walks over and feels my forehead. “You’re freezing,” she says in shock. “I will draw up a fire. It should help with the shivering, at least until you are better prepared and willing to accept the colder conditions in being a lost soul.”

  Stephanie gets up and walks over to the fireplace. I put my book back in the bag and follow her.

  “You wouldn’t happen to have any wood or matches on you, would you?” she says with a grin.

  I hear the branches from the tall oak tree scraping at the window. I take out my hatchet, smiling. I walk out of the cabin and stare at the demon formed tree. “This is a long time coming,” I say to myself.

  After a few minutes of hacking down the dead tree, chopping the wood, and stacking them in the middle of the fireplace, I begin to feel a bit colder.

  “Now we just need something the flame can catch onto,” I say to her, shivering. I suddenly remember what I could use.

  I reach to take out the cards that I took from each of my demons, out of my back pocket. I look at each card remembering my sins and how they are finally gone from me: the Jack, Queen, King, Ace, the Ten, Jack of clubs, and Jack of diamonds. I stack each of them below the wood pile. I get to the last card, the Jack of hearts, and I put it in my upper vest pocket to use as a symbol to remember why I am here in the first place.

  I reach in my bag to pull out the matchbook. My hands begin to shiver uncontrollably, not letting me be able to strike a match.

  Stephanie walks over and strikes one for me. I feel myself fall to the floor in a cold sweat, watching as Stephanie lights up the cards in the fireplace. The playing cards catch fire, sending the heat in my general direction. Stephanie pulls me in closer and sits down beside me.

  “It isn’t enough to catch fire to the wood,” she says concerned.

  I take out my King of spades from my square pocket, gazing at it.

  “How was the card your token?” she asks me. I turn to see that she is looking at my card too. “I thought you said that your name wasn’t the token?”

  I look back at the card in my hand. “The name was only half the clue to what my token really was. You see the King of spades was a certain Biblical king.”

  “King David!,” she astonishingly blurts out. “I didn’t know you knew cards that well.”

  “I don’t. In one of my old memories, a player in a poker game let it slip what the King of spades stood for. After witnessing that memory so many times, I held it in my mind until it finally became useful.”

  “That’s…fantastic!” she says with glee. “So then what is the point of the token now?”

  “The token has already served its purpose.” I look one last time at the card. I turn my eyes to the fire, throwing the card into the flames. Still it isn’t enough for the wood to catch.

  Stephanie reaches behin
d her back and holds out the Jack of hearts mask. “I forgot about this!” She hands it to me. I stare into the mask’s eyes, knowing it has always been in some way a part of me. I begin to throw it in until I see the wood instantly starts to spark, making the flames soon emerge. I keep the mask, thinking that maybe it’s some sort of a sign.

  I lie down, letting the heat take affect. Only the sounds of the waves crashing onto the shore can be heard as the minutes go by. My eyes gaze into the fire, thinking all the while if this was actually hell.

  After enough time has expired, Stephanie says, “Remember the time when we fooled the reapers into thinking I was you for a day? And when I broke the last hourglass, how they all quickly turned from excited to trying to kill each other? Then after a few minutes of beating each other, they saw the reapers flying towards them. They couldn’t comprehend why the reapers hadn’t frozen over yet and I took off my mask. The look on their faces was priceless,” Stephanie starts to laugh.

  I raise my body up, smirking at the long ago memory, still watching the flames from the fireplace.

  “And remember that time we had that snowball fight close to the dam? Sealtiel got jealous and wanted to play. So we let him. Just as he was trying to make a snowball you tried to shoot him,” she laughs, hardly getting the words to finish.

  “We scared him so bad that he accidentally fell off the dam and slid all the way down, just to find out we captured a couple of reapers in a cage, waiting for him at the bottom. He barely made it out alive,” I say, beginning to lighten up.

  “We learned two things that day. The lion pistol couldn’t fire worth a lick and that you scream like a girl!” she says, continuing to laugh.

  Hey! That was Envy, not me!” I say with a grin.

  “He was mirroring you at the time! That was your voice screaming!” she says, going red in the face from laughing so hard.

  “That’s how a demon screams,” I began to laugh. “Never have I once screamed like that, ever.”