It was after I asked this question, I was ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure I did not want to have this particular conversation.
He let out a low even laugh at my question. “I am the lucky one, Winter. Why did you not already have a boyfriend?”
“You first,” I insisted. “Have you ever been in love?”
Austin was calm as he spoke. My question did not seem to bother him. He proceeded to tell me about two girls. Jennifer Segal was his best friend, Dane’s sister, and Austin’s first time. Jennifer was leaving New York so she wanted to give up her virginity to someone she loved, even if she wasn’t in love with Austin. I wasn’t quite sure I bought she wasn’t in love with him, but he explained Jennifer had a fear of never finding someone to love or to love her in return.
“We loved each other as friends, but that’s all,” Austin admitted. “When Jennifer’s parents divorced, Dane stayed here, and Jennifer moved to California our junior year in high school. She’s married now,” Austin said.
“So that’s how you know Dane,” I commented, running my fingers through his silky black hair.
“Yes,” Austin replied. He dropped his head lower. My hands moved over his neck. “That feels damn good by the way.”
It sure does.
“Thanks,” I said. My roving hands moved over his shoulders. I could feel the strength in them.
The other girl, Jana Roads, Austin dated all through his senior year in high school, as well his freshman year in college. He had more to say about Jana than Jennifer. This worried me just a bit. I could feel his shoulders tense again as he spoke.
“Lift up, baby,” he said. So I did.
Austin turned over onto his back. I about died at this new position, and I thanked the heavens above I did not have a roommate. I was holding my breath. My legs were straddling his rock tight waist. I was unsure of what to do with my hands but I decided, what the heck, and allowed them to find purchase on his muscular chest. In that moment, I really disliked the navy blue Ralph Lauren Polo he was wearing, so I tried to imagine what it would be like to see him shirtless.
Austin’s hands move. He brushed them through my hair, down my back then his hands held onto my hips. I studied his face while he spoke about Jana. I could see the slightest scowl cross over his forehead.
“What happened with Jana?” I asked.
Austin shrugged. “I thought I loved Jana,” he said quietly, “until I found her in the front seat of Chance’s car screwing him. They were going at it like rabbits.”
Jana was not only stupid but crazy.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He smiled and touched my lips, outlining them softly with his index finger. “As it turns out, I’m not sorry,” he replied then ran his hands through my hair, down my back, resting them on my hips yet again.
While I was glad for Austin’s honesty I was more than a little jealous, but really, what did I expect? Austin is gorgeous, smart, has a great sense of humor and has this calm quiet way about him. He is respectful, caring, has this magnetism, charisma, humble charm. His smile alone could dissolve any woman’s defenses. And when Austin unleashes his signature breathtaking bright white smile, I know it dazzles me, makes my heart flutter, my knees shake, and melts me like hot fudge on a sundae. I was sure, absolutely positive, if he had wanted to, he could have been with more than two girls.
It was at this point my insecurities crept in. But honestly, they didn’t have far to creep. My insecurities usually stuck around, waiting for the chance to make themselves known. I wondered, as I have wondered many times, why was Austin with me? Self-flagellation, methodically beating myself up mentally, has always been something I am good at.
“What’s wrong?” Austin asked.
I looked away from his eyes.
“Nothing.”
Austin rose on dark brow in question. “Winter, tell me.”
“It’s nothing, Austin.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing, you look upset.” He mumbled then took a hold of my hand. Austin began to rub small circles on the top of my thumb with his thumb. “Are you mad?”
“No.”
“Are you jealous?”
“Maybe,” I muttered.
He brushed his hand over my cheek. “You have nothing to be jealous about, trust me.”
“Austin, who was that guy tonight?” I asked, trying to change the subject, but honestly curious.
Austin’s brow furrowed. For a moment, I actually thought he wasn’t going to answer me. Then finally, he said, “Chance.”
“The same Chance we just discussed?”
“The very same,” he said. It was clear this was one subject he did not want to talk about. Austin gave me an odd expression. “Chance does have a way of getting beautiful women to smile. He made you smile.” The way Austin said this made me wonder, was he jealous?
“Austin, all my real smiles are for you,” I assured.
He touched my face tenderly. “I know.”
“He called me snowflake.”
He gave a low breathy chuckle. “That’s Chance for you. His way of calling you Winter.”
“But how does he know my name?”
“I imagine Ace has told him. They are still friends.”
“Huh.”
Austin seemed to study my face for a long time. He gave me a tentative grin. He was looking at me from beneath his dark thick lashes. The shadow of his lashes splayed long lines across the top of his sculptured cheekbones.
“Now, it’s your turn, have you ever been in love?” he asked with his quite tone.
Yes, I’m in love with you.
“No,” I said. I bit at my bottom lip more than nervous. “I’ve never….” I found I could not say the words.
He placed his hand under my chin before he ran his thumb over the pout on my lip. I knew he understood my convoluted unfinished answer to his question.
“So you have never been with anyone?”
He was going to make me say the words.
“No,” I whispered, “I’ve never been with anyone.”
Austin watched me. His expression was different, perhaps ecstatic, and more than pleased with the news I was, to my embarrassment, a virgin.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said softly while running his fingertip down my scarlet colored cheek. “Your first time should be with the person you love, and who loves you. You have nothing to be self-conscious about. Actually, you should be proud of the fact you respect yourself and your body and have waited.”
I wanted to say, you are the one I have waited for. Instead I bit my bottom lip, mumbling, “You’re right.”
Austin shifted on the bed. In a masterful move, he rolled me to my back. He was tucked between my legs, but somehow kept his weight shifted enough that he was not overwhelming me. I could feel the quickened pace of my heart beating along with a hard unfamiliar yet appetizing sensation which was pressing against my inner thigh. This definitely contributed to the accelerated beat of my heart. I had never experienced a man’s excitement before. He skimmed the tip of his nose across my jaw line lifting my head, tiling it back with his nose. His mouth nuzzled the hollow just beneath my ear. This sent chills over the surface of my skin. My hands seemed to tangle into his hair, fisting.
“Mmm….” He groaned against my tender flesh then sucked softly on the side of my neck.
My teeth worked my bottom lip before a small sound of pleasure escaped from me. Austin’s hands slowly shimmered up my sides. He was lifting my shirt from the bottom. When I experienced his warm fingertips brush whisper soft against my flesh, I shivered. His mouth found my throat where he pressed a soft, hot, kiss. I started to actually become anxious, nervous. Lightning hit me deep inside my core and rumbled there.
Maybe….
“Winter,” he whispered. The warm sensation of his breath danced across my lips. He was holding my face securely, while his sapphire blue eyes pierced me through. “Are you ready?”
I swallowed hard. “Um…, I-I.�
� I stuttered.
“You are stuttering.”
“Yes.”
He skimmed his mouth over my mouth, flicking out his tongue to outline the inner slope of my lips. “I make you nervous,” he stated in a low hungry voice.
“Yes,” I confessed.
Austin chuckled, sending waves of chills and fire over my skin.
“Why? Why do I make you nervous?”
“Um…well, you….” I felt his lips nuzzle into the hollow below my ear again then suck the side of my neck. Then he licked the sensitive skin. My nipples turned as hard as pebbles.
“You were saying,” he prompted, his voice softer than velvet.
How can he be doing such things and stay so in control, so calm?
“You make me feel a lot of things,” I muttered.
“Uh huh. What kind of things?” he asked while his fingers outlined my lips, lingering.
“Things which are hard to explain because—” I shuttered. His hand brushed down over my chin, my throat, my breast and kept going.
“Because?”
I was losing my mind and confessed. “I have never felt them before.”
“Mmm.” He murmured against my cheek. “I know what you mean.”
“You do?” My voice cracked. Austin shifted just a bit, pressing against me, allowing me to feel his desire at my core.
“I do.”
“Austin, I.” I stopped myself from saying what I wanted to say. I wanted to say, “I love you, make love to me.” I wanted to say, “don’t stop, don’t ever stop.”
“What is it, baby?”
Austin’s hands roamed down my sides, his mouth finding a home in the shallow depth of my throat.
“Um,” I muttered. I ran my hands over his shoulder blades.
“Tell me.” He encouraged with a little nip on my lip.
I blurted it out, “You feel so good.”
“You feel good, too.” Austin shifted again. He pulled back. His mouth found the top curve of my breast through my shirt.
“God, Austin.” My algebra book slid off the bed. It made a thwap when it hit the floor.
Austin’s hands glided over my stomach. He was pulling my shirt up, exposing my bellybutton. The bed dipped when he moved down my body. The moisture from his tongue mixed with his breath on my flesh and made me shiver while he made a slow circle around my navel. I actually moaned.
“Nice,” he commented.
“That feels really good,” I said in a breath.
“Yes, it does,” His tongue swirled upward. He stopped. “You taste so sweet.”
I was unsure of what to say. “I do?”
“Yes.”
His breath shot across my ribs, my navel. I shook. I could feel the upward movement of his mouth forming a smile. He is smiling.
Austin pressed his lips firmly on my stomach. He was kissing me. My stomach jerked in response to the softness of his mouth caressing me there.
“Winter, are you still nervous?”
I bit at my bottom lip. “A little bit.”
“You know I would never do anything to hurt you, right?”
My voice quivered. “I know.”
His tongue made lazy circles on my flesh above my bellybutton….
“Do you trust me?”
The stimulation of his tongue made my stomach jerk yet again.
“I trust you more than I have ever trusted anyone,” I confessed.
Austin’s hands seemed to wrap around my waist, lifting me into his body, arching my back. He pressed his face into my heaving chest. “Good,” he muttered. Austin moved back up my body, dragging my shirt upward. He stopped it just before he exposed my lace covered B cups. He placed his nose to my ribs, skimming across them. I squirmed, giggled. “There,” he said quite proud of himself.
“What?”
“I can feel your body relax.”
When he said this I realized while I was enjoying everything Austin was doing, I was rather rigid. I thought about how Austin touches me. Each time we are together, when we start to get closer, more intimate, I do become anxious. And each time he is slow, careful, pushing me, pushing my body just a little bit further, but never pushing too fast, never pushing too far.
I wondered at my inconsistency because I needed him. I wanted to move too fast, yet I feared actually having him, because deep down, I never believed I was good enough to keep him. My father had broken my mother’s heart so I tended to protect mine, never really sure of men. Maybe that’s why I stayed closed off from them, never really interested in them until Austin. I guessed I feared a lot of things, and in this moment I realized, loving him was one of them.
“So are you ready?” Austin asked, breaking my revelation.
I managed to squeak. “For what?”
“Are you ready to get back to work on your algebra?”
I giggled. With Austin pressed between my thighs, math was the furthest thing from my mind. “Not really,” I confessed.
“Why am I not surprised.” He teased before his mouth molded to mine.
Chapter Five
HE LOVES ME
It was my last night working at the restaurant. I was going to start a new work-study which would free my weekends, pay me more than I made at the restaurant, and allow me to earn college credits. So I decided my time as a waitress and Dane’s gofer was over. Quitting the restaurant was of course totally appealing. Not only because I would make more money, and escape Dane’s abuse, but this would allow Austin and I to spend more time together during the weekends. Austin was already making plans for my first work free weekend, but all he would tell me was we would be going for a drive, out of the city. He liked to do things to surprise me.
Dane had become extremely upset when I gave my two weeks’ notice to quit, saying he was never going to forgive me. In fact, upset may not be the correct word to describe his tangent of flailing arms while he cussed at me. Dane was odd to say the least, but I never thought much more of him. My focus was on freedom and Austin. I was ecstatic with the prospect of spending every weekend with Austin.
I had a two to ten p.m. shift to get through, and then I was free. Dane however, was his usual gloomy self, being sure to add in some ripping sarcasm during my shift. He made sure I was the last to leave, having to stay and close. I was forced to call Austin, tell him of my change in schedule.
“Babe, Dane is making me close so can you pick me up at midnight?” I asked.
“He’s such an asshole,” Austin said, upset.
“I know. I’m sorry, but this is my last night.”
“Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for, I’ll pick you up.”
“Thanks.”
“Winter, you have nothing to thank me for. I’ll see you in a few hours. Don’t let Dane bully you around.”
I smiled into the receiver. “Okay, I won’t.”
“Was that a personal call?” Dane grumped when I exited the waitress station.
“Yes, since you changed my schedule without any notice I had to call Austin, tell him to pick me up at midnight, not ten.”
“Table fourteen’s order is ready.” He hissed.
I seemed to watch the clock for the last hour, wondering if midnight was ever going to get here then hallelujah, the clock hit twelve as I cleared the last ketchup bottle from the last table.
“Winter!” Dane yelled from the doorway of his closet sized office. “I need to see you.”
Seeing Dane glare at me, I was positive Dane was going to irritate me to death before my night was done.
“What is it, Dane?”
He waved a paper at me. “This needs to be done.”
I reminded Dane that Austin would be picking me up so I needed to get going, but Dane told me to make a final inventory of the liquor cases. This was an unusual request, however I figured it was his way of getting back at me for quitting, and since it was my last night, I was fairly sure he wanted to go out with a bang.
I glanced up at the large brass clock on the wall. It was 12:
05 in the morning. I knew Austin would be outside, in his car, waiting for me. The thought of this filled me with a quiet satisfaction. I needed to finish up the inventory, and I would be free.
“Winter?” Dane’s voice scratched through my senses. I almost cringed.
“Yes?” I said, turning around to see him glaring at me.
Dane began with what I hoped was his final instructions while he puckered his face at me.“You need to go out to the warehouse, grab another case of the red chardonnay.”
The warehouse was the storage building which was attached to the back of the restaurant. It was where overstocked items were stored and where the owners kept the wine racks, cases of their liquor and other dry paper goods. Again this was another strange request, but I decided to just do it so I could finally leave.
“I’m not done with the inventory,” I said, trying to keep my cool.
“Give me your inventory sheet. I will finish it while you go to the warehouse.”
For a brief moment I considered flinging the paper at him, but I handed over the sheet.
I was headed toward the back of the restaurant when Dane stopped me. He had grabbed my arm from behind. I looked at him, rather put out, before I moved my arm from his grip. “What now?” I asked, quite irritated.
Dane rolled his eyes at me. “We are having problems with the interior door.” He smirked. “It’s stuck again. You will need to go the long way, use the outside entrance.”
I sighed rather exasperated. “Fine.”
“You need the key,” he said. He pulled a silver key off his key ring and handed it to me.
Key in hand, I made my way out the entrance of the restaurant. I could see Austin’s pitch black Porsche in the parking lot. It was too dark to see him, but I knew he was looking at me. I waved and blew a kiss. With a renewed need to hurry, I crossed over to the north end of the building, heading for what I hoped was my final task for the evening.
It was cold outside, which irritated me even further because I was not wearing a coat so I hurried to unlock the door. I could hear the gravel grind beneath my shoes while I struggled with the lock. When I finally unlocked the door I reached for the wall switch, flipped on the light then headed over to the far end of the storage building. I thought the liquor was kept closer to the door which connected this building with the restaurant; nonetheless I was unsure of the exact location of the wine.
Enchanted Page 6