When Wes and Bean decided to get rowdy, rocking the boat, Claudia and Jewel put a stop to their shenanigans.
“Frick, Bean!” Claudia snapped.
Bean turned with a look as if he were stricken. “Awe babe,” he said coming to her side, kissing her cheek. “Don’t be mad.”
Claudia melted, smiling wide and toothy white. Jewel was less easily thawed. Wes would be sucking up big time now.
“Don’t be mad, Jewels,” he said with a slight pout.
Jewel held firm, arms crossed. She never surrendered her eat shit and die look, that was blazing from her dark chocolate brown eyes.
When Austin took the wheel I watched him. As usual I was amazed, as well as completely content looking at him. Everything he does has fluidity, a grace. He can make anything appear easy. It became clear he had decided to actually go somewhere instead of messing around in the water. He backed the boat out of the mess Wes and Bean had left us in, maneuvered around a buoy, and off we went.
The water and the waves were endless. I studied the shades of blue as they changed, turning darker while the boat weaved through the surface of the now dark charcoal colored water. Behind us the wake was quite impressive. In the background, mixed into the sound of the motor, the splashing of the waves, and the wind, I could her Wes whistling the theme song to Gilligan’s Island, no doubt trying to make Jewel laugh.
After fifteen minutes or so, we stopped in a coved area and watched the seagulls sway overhead. Their movement turned into a glide, almost motionless. They seemed to float not in but on the air. As the wind picked up, the gulls moved higher while making their haunting squawks while they flew.
“What are you thinking about?” Austin asked me. He wrapped his arms securely around my waist.
“How the birds seem to glide and float on the current of air,” I admitted.
“I love to watch you,” he said, “the way you study things. The way your eyes flash with new excitement when you see something which intrigues you.”
I chuckled. “My eyes flash with excitement?”
“Yes. Your eyes are stunning.”
“Um…thanks.”
Austin laughed his low even laugh. It vibrated through the entirety of my body.
“Winter, I love you.”
As the day turned into dusk, we went into the village. We could see a crowd move in long lines toward something of interest. We decided to follow behind, coming to the edge of what looked like a park. It would seem the crowd gathered to watch a movie which was going to be shown upon the side of an old building. By the looks of it, it had been unused, possibly abandoned for years. I found this prospect quite intriguing, never having such an experience back home in Colorado. All the movies I ever watched were located in movie theaters. The thought of watching a movie outdoors in this way made me smile.
Austin found the perfect spot to set. We came to rest on the leafy green blades of grass beneath us. The smell of spring and popcorn wafted on the breeze. Static could be heard coming from the large rusty box speakers which were perched, not so inconspicuously, at each side of the old abandoned building wall. The speakers started to crack and pop. I could hear actual audible sounds as the old picture show, From Here to Eternity played out upon the old, dirty, not so white wall.
When I became a bit restless, Austin whispered in my ear. He offered his legs as a backrest. I was totally enthralled by the movie, watching the scratchy lined picture intently. I leaned forward in effort to catch every word which was cracking out of the rusty speakers, however I took him up on his offer and finally ended up nestled between his legs. I was happy, with my body leaning against his well-defined muscular chest.
As the movie continued, I felt Austin’s hands in my hair. He was twirling a long strand around his finger. It was very distracting, but I really wanted to watch the movie, so I stayed focused on the picture and allowed Austin to play. Bean, who had been more than fidgety, flicked Wes’s ear with his finger. They were having a hard time being good. In truth, they seemed to want to make a nuisance of themselves. Jewel and Claudia turned to give both Bean and Wes an impressive glare in unison.
“You guys can never sit still,” Jewel said, her face looking pissy with her lips pursed.
Claudia’s voice sounded rather irritated as she glared at Bean. “Watch the movie.”
“Shush.” I hissed.
Austin chuckled, unhindered. He continued his amusement with my hair.
When the movie ended, we walked over in the direction of a small inconspicuous shop. At first glance you wouldn’t notice the shop, it being unmarked, unassuming, and tucked back from the other buildings of interest. In fact, I wondered why we were even headed in its direction. I glanced over to see Bean who had his arm around Claudia’s shoulders and gave her a wink. Wes had his hand tucked into the back pocket of Jewel’s shorts while she was doing the same, and Austin and I were holding hands. I decided we all were the picture of happy.
“They have the best ice-cream,” Jewel trilled out. She grabbed my free hand and literally pulled me through the shop door.
“That’s funny.” I giggled, hearing an old cowbell ring followed by an electronic moo when the door opened then closed behind us.
“Two scoops of chocolate fudge in a waffle cone please,” Bean blurted out to the pudgy man behind the old wooden counter before turning to look at Claudia who did not want ice cream.
Austin turned and looked at me. “What would you like, baby?”
“I’ll take what Bean ordered.”
Austin turned his attention to the man behind the counter. “We will take two of the same,” he told the man.
“Make that two more,” Wes interjected.
We grabbed our cold sweet treats, paid for our cones then exited the little shop. We found an old rock wall to perch ourselves upon. Austin’s eyes were intent, watching me. I realized he was watching me lick the ice cream from my cone. My cheeks flushed hot. He gave me his crooked guilty grin, leaned in and proceeded to lick the corner of my mouth. Wes snickered.
“What? You had a chocolate smudge,” Austin replied smoothly.
“Really?” I asked, clearly not buying what he was selling.
Austin’s face was beatific. “Yep.”
So I took my cone, gave one large lick then splattered it onto the middle of his mouth. Claudia and Jewel busted out laughing. Austin blinked. I leaned in while looking into his eyes before I proceeded to lick the splat of chocolate off his lips, sucking his bottom lip quite assuredly. Next I tried for my most beatific expression.
“Funny,” I said, “you had a smudge, too.” We all laughed. Once our laughter died down, I could hear music drift through the streets of the village. “Hey, what’s that?” I asked.
A passerby answered, “Oh, they have a dance after the movie.”
“Let’s go,” I said. I jumped up from my seat, taking Austin’s hand. We all headed back over to the grassy park. It was true; people were coupled up dancing beneath the stars. “Wow.”
My eyes went to a curvaceous woman who danced on bare feet. She had her dark green broomstick skirt lifted, tucked into her hand while a tall rather imposing man rubbed his large callused hand feverishly over her exposed creamy white thigh. I stood there watching the two strangers enjoy themselves, dancing dangerously close. They swayed to the old love song which was playing, or rather scratching, out of those old rusty speakers.
“Let’s get out here,” Wes suggested, tugging on Jewel’s hand. “We have a surprise for you girls back at the cottage. We are cooking.” He made his announcement, and it was obvious he was quite proud of himself.
The night was crystal clear. The sky was full of stars as far as the eye could see. They twinkled within the black velvet of the heavens. Wes had made a fire in the pit on the back terrace. Several candles aligned the walkways, all lit, sending muted light over the stone path and seating areas. Austin had turned on some music. It wafted softly through the gentle salty breeze like it belonged, filling the
night with smooth relaxing sounds of jazz.
Jewel, Claudia, and I sat at the rod-iron table on the back terrace, watching the guys through the glass sliding doors as they scurried around inside. I wondered where Austin went. I could only see Wes and Bean.
“What do you think they are up to in there?” Claudia asked.
Jewel laughed the sound of bells then said, “I’m not sure but whatever it is, just eat it.”
“Well they were pretty excited about cooking,” I interjected.
“I know Wes can’t cook,” Jewel said.
“Neither can Bean,” Claudia agreed.
“I have no idea if Austin can cook,” I replied.
We all giggled.
“What are you ladies laughing at?” Wes inquired. He strolled to Jewel’s side where he kissed her forehead.
“Just wondering what kind of gourmet masterpiece you guys have been working on,” Jewel replied.
I watched Wes as he broke out into a hardy chuckle. One of his sandy blond locks came loose from his ponytail.
“Well, I think you will all be surprised,” he said. Jewel reached up and placed a stray lock behind his ear.
As if on cue, Bean and Austin came out the back door of the cottage. To my surprise, they were rolling a silver serving cart. It was filled with several beautifully prepared plates of lobster, shrimp, salad, and some sort of fancy potatoes. Along with the food there was candy, which looked like a master chef had prepared. The jagged chocolate chips and caramel drizzles looked more like artwork than something to eat.
Jewel and Claudia broke out into a quiet snicker. “Yeah right guys! You did not cook that,” Jewel insisted, still snickering.
Wes mussed Jewel’s hair. “Sure we did.”
Jewel bobbed forward, grabbing her hair. “I recognize the candy, you got that from–”
“Shh.” Wes hushed Jewel with an impish smile.
Austin’s face beamed. “Well it is the thought that counts.”
“Yeah, we may not have cooked it but we wanted only the best for our ladies,” Bean quipped.
After dinner, I excused myself for a moment and retreated to the upstairs bathroom of the cottage. I was hoping the night would go well so I needed to get rid of the remnants of dinner, freshen up, in case I got my wish. I pulled out my toothbrush from my toiletries bag, added my favorite toothpaste then started brushing my teeth and my tongue with speed and vigor. I dabbed some perfume in all the secret places I was hoping Austin would touch, combed through my hair plus touched up my lip gloss.
I considered my undergarments then decided they were good. My bra was white see-through lace, and my panties adorned my hips with criss-crossing strings. They too were almost transparent. I’m unsure of how long I stood in silence, listening to the patter of my heart before I decided I was ready. Nervous, anxious, excited, but ready. I was going to give myself to Austin, completely.
When I came back to the terrace, he was gone. I looked around with what I am sure was total disappointment on my face.
“He’ll be right back,” Jewel said, breaking through my abstractions.
“Where did he go?”
Jewel shrugged. “Don’t know.”
“Then how do you know he will be right back?”
Jewel laughed. She was looking at me as though I were crazy. “Are you kidding me?”
I took a seat beside Jewel, and yes, I was really feeling anxious. Claudia and Bean were nestled together in a dark corner talking to each other quite intently. I noticed Wes was inside cleaning up, or rather, throwing food away quite hastily.
“Jewel?” I said in a whisper.
“What?”
“What is it like?” I paused, feeling my cheeks flush pink. “To you know….” I finally gathered my courage to just ask. “The first time you have sex. What is it like?”
Jewel smiled tenderly at me. “Well, I guess it depends.”
“What do you mean it depends?”
“It can be scary. It is hard to explain,” she admitted.
“Try to explain,” I pressed.
“Well for you I would imagine it will be wonderful, beyond great. You love Austin, and he loves you.”
“Jewel, what was it like for you?”
“Not great,” she confessed. “I was too young. I wanted to have sex because everyone else was doing it. I didn’t want to be left out so my first time was on a ratty couch in the basement of Brandon Jensen’s house. He was popular, a jock, and seventeen. I was less than popular and fifteen. We hooked up after a party. I had no idea what I was doing. He was awkward, in a rush trying to get a condom on.” Jewel paused for a brief moment then blurted out, “It hurt, a lot, actually.”
“Oh,” I said, biting my bottom lip.
Jewel smiled and took a hold of my hand. “You have nothing to worry about. You know you are ready, and you know you love Austin. I know he loves you,” she said softly. “Winter, you are all we hear about. He talks about you constantly. Austin would rather die than hurt you. I know he will be gentle, take his time with you. I doubt he will rush through the experience.”
“Jewel, I really don’t know what I’m doing,” I confessed. “I have never even seen what a real one actually looks like.” I paused. Bit my bottom lip. “You know what I mean.”
Jewel giggled. “A penis?”
My cheeks turned red now. “Shush,” I said. “I understand the whole concept of a penis, and how sex is supposed to work but….” I was actually scared now. Maybe I would be horrible at having sex. And then I thought about my body, becoming self-conscious.
“Well, Winter, when you do see it, you will know just exactly what it is you are looking at,” she mused. I knew she was trying to lighten my mood, but I all I could do was look at her with what had to be sheer panic on my face. “Winter, don’t look so terrified,” Jewel said. “You’re not disarming a nuclear weapon; you are having sex with the man you love.”
“Do you think I will be horrible, not know what to really do and disappoint him?”
Jewel giggled, her dark eyes softened. “I am totally positive you will not disappoint him, and trust me, you will know what to do.” Jewel’s face became serious now then she let loose of my hand. “You are prepared, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean birth control,” Jewel clarified.
I blushed. “Oh. I’m covered,” I confessed.
She looked surprised.
“Covered how?”
“I take the pill. I have taken them forever because of my irregular periods so….” While I knew Jewel was being helpful, it did seem an awkward conversation. Strange. Not only did I now feel awkward talking to Jewel, but I felt awkward about giving my body to the man who I knew with no doubt I loved.
“Good,” she said interrupting my reverie, “you don’t want your first time turning into a complicated mess, trust me.”
I looked at Jewel and could see the expression upon her face. It was remorseful.
“Jewel, are you all right?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I had some complications after my first time, the condom broke, and I ended up in a fix.”
“Oh,” I said with a sense of understanding. “I’m sorry.”
“We all have our regrets and secrets. Besides, I was too young to have a baby, be a mother. Brandon was a real man about the whole thing though.” She scoffed. “He drove me to the clinic, shoved some money in my hand, dropped me off on the sidewalk, and I never saw him again. Well, I should clarify because of course I saw him, but it was like I didn’t exist.”
I became aware of Austin. He had stopped at the door of the cottage and was looking at me. I smiled. He walked across the terrace toward Jewel and I. The muted light from the fire sent flickers of light with rolling shadows across his face. My breath hitched, caught in my throat. He reached out and took a hold of my hand.
“Jewel, I hope you don’t mind the interruption, but I need my Winter,” Austin said.
Jewel giggled. “Su
re, Austin, I need to find Wes anyway,” she replied then smiled at me. “You guys have a good night.”
Austin looked back at me, his eyes soft. “Walk with me,” he said, his voice more than alluring in this moment. I glanced up at him, and for the first time in my life, I was actually uneasy about going with him.
Why do I feel this way?
“Sure,” I said, voice quivering.
We walked down the beach then finally took off our shoes so we could feel the white sand beneath our feet. We were quiet. It seemed unnecessary to talk. I knew Austin could feel my anxiety. I wanted Austin, truly wanted him so I had no idea why I was anxious about being with him. I felt his hand brush down the length of my arm then through my hair. I closed my eyes, permitting myself to fully experience this sensation.
“Winter, will you dance with me?”
I bit at my bottom lip. “Okay.”
He took me into his arms. We danced to the sounds of the waves breaking on the shore, underneath the stars. The breeze made whooshing sounds through the reeds and tall spiky grass up on shore. In the distance, the intermittent light flashed from the lighthouse which was perched upon a bluff. It was the perfect backdrop, too beautiful, too tranquil. This was the kind of place made up of dreams; no one should be nervous in this setting. To be here in this picture perfect place with a drop dead gorgeous man, the man I loved after all, was everything a girl could want. I needed to get a grip and stop being so totally silly, so jittery.
It was about time to internally scold myself when Austin’s hand brushed up against the small of my back. I delighted in the feel of his hand as he made small movements against my bare skin beneath my shirt. He leaned in and caressed the base of my neck with his lips.
Against the hollow of my throat, I experienced his words. “Winter, I love you.”
“I love you,” I said, breathless.
With each dance, Austin seemed to pull me closer into his body. With each dance, I wanted him more and more. The anxiety and nervousness I had experienced earlier was now gone as if it had never even existed. The slow simmering of desire had turned into a full-blown boiling beneath my skin. I wondered if he was feeling the same. I thought he was.
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