by K. Webster
Those brown, melted-chocolate eyes are glaring at me. I shrink back under the intensity of his stare. He takes a step toward me, arms still folded, and I quickly fumble my way into the apartment.
Locking the door behind me, I shakily make my way to the window and open it so I can breathe. Who was that guy, and why did he look like he was mad at me? The look on his face reappears in my mind and my skin begins to itch. For some reason, it makes me angry that he has the same affect Momma had with a look.
After I slam the window shut, I stalk into the bathroom to the shower and turn it on. I wonder if that guy was the same one who spooked me on the stairwell earlier. If so, I really want to give him a piece of my mind. I never will though.
After my second very long shower of the day, I dry off and opt to leave the dress off until it is time to switch the sheets to the dryer. Once again, I settle on my now sheet-less bed and open my novel. Not even two pages in, the wall shakes behind me. I can hear music blaring now through the somewhat thin walls. The pictures I recently hung on the wall are shaking, threatening to crash to the floor.
I am furious because I feel like that guy is doing it on purpose to piss me off for some reason. After jumping from the bed, I bang angrily on the wall behind me. As a response, the music volume increases, and this time, one of my frames does fall and break. Tears burn my eyes as I try to figure out how to solve this problem. I wish Tina were here to tell me what to say to him.
The music stops suddenly, and I sigh in relief before sitting back down on the bed. I’m finally getting my heart rate back to normal and reading a steamy part when the music starts blaring again. Are you kidding me?
I storm into the bathroom to put my dress back on. Not bothering with shoes, I slip out into the hallway and bang on his door. The music is still pounding away, so I knock louder. I’m so pissed right now that I can’t even think about socially interacting with someone new, especially a hot someone. At this moment, all I can think about is making him turn off the obnoxious noise.
Almost as suddenly as it began, the music is silenced, and I hear footsteps approach the door from inside. My previous fury is quickly dissipating as my nervousness takes over. The pounding in my heart is telling me to go back to my apartment, but the stubbornness I’ve worked my whole life to keep at bay is winning. I hold my chin up as I wait for him to open the door.
When the door flings open and slams against the inside wall, I jump back a step. This man is once again glaring at me as if he’s challenging me. I try not to look at his chest again by training my eyes on his and glaring right back at him. He steps out of the threshold into the hallway just a couple of feet in front of me. I’m assaulted by his intoxicating smell. A lovely scent of outdoors mixed with mint envelops me. It smells refreshing, clean.
I start to say something, but my mind starts to reel when he takes another few steps toward me. I find myself backing up until my back bumps the wall behind me. Against my wishes, my nipples harden under the dress. As if my thoughts alert him to them, his brown eyes tear from mine and lazily drag across my breasts. My heart thumps wildly under his gaze. His eyes meet mine again as he closes the distance between us, now only inches away from touching me. If I breathe too heavily, our chests may touch one another.
“Boo.”
I jump at his word and know he’s the man from the stairwell earlier today. Tears fill my eyes and I slide away from him, running back to my apartment and slamming the door shut. What is wrong with that man? What is wrong with me? He affects and confuses me. Never have I actually wanted someone to touch me. In that moment, I probably would have let him. But clearly, he’s an arrogant bully who likes to intimidate and scare women.
I pace the apartment until it’s time to check on the sheets downstairs. Thankfully he never turns the music back on, so I don’t feel the need to yell at him. Quietly pulling open the door, I peek into the hallway for any signs of him. Realizing that the coast is clear, I step into the hallway and head toward the stairwell. As I near it, my heart begins its usual race and I force away a panic attack. I’m still mentally trying to pep myself up into going down the stairs when I feel him come behind me, his scent the giveaway.
“I switched your sheets over for you,” he says smoothly, and I can feel his breath on my neck.
I spin around to face him, once again shocked at his beauty. He’s frowning, but at least it’s not a menacing glare anymore. As if he doesn’t expect a thank you, he turns to go back to his apartment.
I moisten my lips again with my tongue. “Sidney,” I whisper as I observe his brown eyes skate their way back to mine again.
The corners of his lips curve up into a breathtaking smile, and my mouth parts as I take in the beauty of it. He leans in impossibly closer, and I swear he inhales me. My body tenses up at his proximity, yet I make no moves to get away from him.
“I’m Liam,” he informs me softly.
I close my eyes after he says his name. Something about the way he whispers it drives me slightly crazy. This is exactly the sort of thing they describe in my romance books, but living it and reading it are two completely different things.
When he reaches up to touch my cheek, I’m suddenly ripped from my trance before he gets the chance and am sent into a full-on panic mode.
“Don’t touch me!” I shriek in such a high voice that I shock myself. I’ve already managed to scoot past him and take off in a sprint back to my apartment.
“Sidney, wait!” he calls after me, but I ignore him, slamming the door behind me.
I’m shaking badly and I need air. With jitters running through me, I somehow make it to the window and open it without passing out. I take deep, filling breaths of the air until I feel the unease begin to dissipate. My skin starts the insane itching, which makes me cry. I hate this life, having to shower to get rid of the creepy-crawly sensation.
On wobbly legs, I stumble into the bathroom and turn on the water. Tears stream down my face as I tear off the dress and climb inside the shower. The icy-cold water snaps me out of my stressful state, and I’m able to finally relax the tension that seized my body only moments before in the hallway.
“I checked on your sheets before I came up here and they were all dry,” Tina chirps as she walks inside. She’s got a sack in one arm and a handful of my linens in the other. I take the sheets from her and head to the room with them. I mumble my thanks on the way there. In the kitchen, I can hear her unloading some things into the refrigerator.
I’m just finishing making the bed when she comes into the room. Tonight, she looks amazing, and I bet she didn’t even have to try. She’s wearing some adorable purple leggings, tall black boots, and a long-sleeved black tunic. Her blond hair is piled up on top of her head in a messy bun. The makeup has been scrubbed clean from her face, making her look much younger.
“How’s your day going besides spilling tea all over your bed?” she inquires as she stretches out on one side of the bed.
I wring my hands together as I begin pacing the room. “Tina, it’s terrible. I have an awful neighbor that I just met today.”
She sits back up and her eyebrows pinch together with worry. “What happened?”
“Well, the creeper from the stairwell has a name—Liam. He’s also my neighbor,” I tell her, not hiding my frustration.
“Okay, so you met someone new? You obviously learned his name, which means you were making an attempt at being social, even with someone who scared you at first. I can’t help but have a proud moment right now. So go on, because I need more details!”
The excitement coming from her was not what I expected. I need someone to be frustrated with me.
“Tina! It’s not cool or wonderful. It sucked. He clearly has problems with personal space, and I do too—like we couldn’t be more opposite. The reason I found out he was my neighbor was because he was blaring his music so loudly that pictures were falling from the wall. He sniffed me!”
I must be making a crazy face because she starts l
aughing hysterically. So much so that she nearly rolls off the bed. Biting down on my lip so I won’t laugh, I try to glare at her for making fun of me.
“Sid! I think this guy likes you. Please tell me he was hot,” she laughs, wagging her eyebrows.
My cheeks burn with embarrassment because he was the hottest man I have ever seen.
“Oh my God! You do think he’s hot. Sidney, this is great news! I’ve never seen you this way before. This is excellent progress.” It’s almost comical how she flips back and forth between goofy friend to helpful counselor.
“I’m embarrassed to say this, but when he tried to touch my cheek, I ran away like a freak and hid out in here until you showed up. I had to take an extra cold shower too.”
“I bet you did,” she says, her tone suggestive. I’m confused at what she’s suggesting.
“You’re not being a very good friend, laughing at me like that.” I sniff and cross my arms.
Giggling, she jumps and makes her way to me like she’s about to hug me. Instinctively, I back away, and her face falls a bit. My heart sinks that I just did that to her, but I most definitely don’t want her to hug me. She takes a deep breath and blows me a kiss before walking back into the kitchen.
When I make it to the kitchen, she’s pouring two glasses of wine. My eyes widen as I realize that one is for me.
“Tina, what are you doing?” I hiss at her.
She ignores my comment and hands it to me. I’m shaking when I take it from her, clutching it carefully like it might slip from my grasp at any moment.
“Sidney, you need to lighten up a bit. You’re a grown woman, and a glass of wine won’t hurt you. It will relax you, which is just what you need because you are wound up so tight tonight. You can have some M&Ms too,” she teases as she pulls out a jumbo bag of them.
I can’t help but grin at her. The awkward moment between us has passed. I think we may have just had our first fight and made up.
When she starts pulling DVDs from the bag, I grin. Tina is a huge ‘80s movie buff, so whenever she comes over, she brings movies to ‘educate’ me with. I’m so lucky to have her in my life. There is no way I would have made it this far without her guidance. Little by little, she helps me reclaim who I am.
“What movie is it tonight?” I question as I curl up into the recliner while she gets it started.
She turns to smile mischievously at me. “Sid, you are about to get a full-on education on the art of dirty dancing. Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey are going to be your instructors.” It sounds promising, much like one of my books.
I sip on the wine and choke a bit. “Tina! You expect me to drink this? It tastes like ass,” I harrumph and secretly high-five myself for slipping in a curse word.
“Get over it, woman. It’s an acquired taste. You have to force yourself to drink it and eventually you’ll get used to it. Now let’s watch this movie.”
I spend the first part of the movie nervously drinking down the wine every time the scenes start to get hot. So much so that I just realized I’ve emptied my glass. Thank goodness tonight is Friday and I can sleep in tomorrow morning. Tina refills my glass without even asking if I want any more.
By the end of the movie, I feel flushed, dizzy, and numb. I’ve decided that I love the movie and want to watch it again to pay closer attention, especially to Patrick Swayze.
“Okay, hon, I’m going to get back home. Joey just texted that he misses me. He really just wants to have sex, but I’ll pretend along with him. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I get another air kiss before she lets herself out.
I stand to get ready for bed and the room spins from the alcohol in my system. Suddenly, I feel nauseated, but I choke it down. I blink back nagging thoughts of Nurse Momma. She can’t hurt me anymore.
Carefully, I head to my bedroom, not bothering to turn off lights along the way. Stripping out of my dress, I crawl between my soft, clean sheets, and I swear they smell woodsy with a hint of mint, very familiar to a certain neighbor.
I fall asleep easily with thoughts of Liam, Patrick, and dirty dancing.
He drags a single finger between the swell of my bare breasts. That finger continues its path along my belly and dips into my navel. I bite my lip as I feel my lower body tense up with desire. The finger, this time, slowly creeps its way to my pubic bone and through the patch of hair just below it. It connects with a button that sends delicious electricity coursing through my body…
The room is pitch black as I wake completely drenched in sweat. My muscles in my calves feel sore and my cheeks burn with embarrassment as I realize I may have had my first orgasm in a dream. A dream about …
Once I’ve untangled myself from the sheets, I climb out of bed and head toward the shower in the dark. A shower is actually needed and for once not part of my OCD. After a really long cold shower, I dry off and head back to my bed. I’m almost there when I suddenly freeze mid-step.
The lights are all off. I went to bed last night without turning off the lights and I forgot to lock up after Tina left. My heart races in my chest as I come to the realization that someone has been in my apartment. I fumble in the dark until I locate the light switch for my room. My entire body freezes as I sense someone enter the room. The floor creaks and I shrink away from the sound. My need to see who is in my home takes over and I lunge forward, flipping on the switch.
Ragged breath escapes me in both shock and relief when I see Liam standing there, his arms crossed. His lips turn up into a boyish grin as his eyes peruse my naked body. But halfway through his perusal, he gapes at me when he sees the scars. Tears of embarrassment burst from my eyes as I dive into my bed and pull the sheets up to my chin.
“What are you doing in my home, Liam?” I snap at him. I’m angry that he’s made himself at home in MY apartment without so much as an invitation.
“Where did you get those scars?” he demands angrily, stomping over to my bed. He’s standing over me with his arms still crossed, and he looks completely pissed.
“It’s none of your business. Get out of here!” I screech, pointing at the door.
“Sidney, tell me how you got those and I’ll leave,” he tries again, this time more quietly. His expression softens, and I don’t feel as threatened.
“My momma gave them to me. She wasn’t a nice person,” I confess, and my bottom lip trembles.
He frowns at my teary-eyed face and reaches for me. Once again, I shrink away from his touch and mentally curse myself. The man is absolutely gorgeous, and in a perfect world, I would want nothing more than his touch right about now. But I live in an imperfect world.
“Sidney, I’m sorry. So you aren’t afraid of me? You’re afraid of my touch because of her?” he questions. His eyes are searching my face once again as if he’s trying to figure me out.
I nod and a tear escapes, rolling down my face. The look he’s giving me tells me that he wants to wipe the tear but is physically holding back doing so.
“She died a few weeks ago. That’s why I moved here. I watch Leta downstairs to live here and earn a little extra money. Now, why are you in my apartment?”
He rubs his cheeks with each hand before he answers me. “First of all, I’m glad the woman is dead or I’d probably kill her myself. Second, I happened to be walking by your door and it was ajar. Since it was so late, I worried why you had left your door open. When I peeked in, all the lights were on, but you were sleeping. I was turning the lights off when I heard you whimpering in your bed. Just when I was about to slip out, you jumped from the bed and headed to the shower. I knew if you saw me, you would be terrified, so I just hid.”
“Oh.” That’s all I have. And Tina thought my social skills were improving.
“You’re so damn beautiful, Sidney.” The way he watches me makes me want to believe those words. Nobody has ever told me that I’m beautiful.
My heart flutters wildly. And then reality sets in. I’ve seen myself naked, and now, so has he. My body is marred with the scars of my past.
I’m ugly and damaged.
“Get out,” I tell him calmly, looking away from his gorgeous eyes. I’m breathing heavily from the emotions rolling through me.
“What? Sidney, no—”
“GET OUT!” I scream.
He flinches from my tone and steps a few paces back. Looking me over once more, he nods curtly and storms from the room. When I hear the front door slam, I know I’ve successfully gotten rid of him.
Now that he’s gone, my heart hurts and I succumb to the confusing emotions, allowing myself a good cry.
I wake up Saturday morning feeling drained and hung over. My head is throbbing out of control. Damn Tina and the stupid wine. So not only do I have a terrible hangover and am still replaying the events from last night, but it’s also laundry day. I loathe laundry day.
After I dress in another lightweight summer dress, I eat a few crackers to keep from throwing up. The thought of getting sick makes me think of Nurse Momma and I shudder. Forcing terrible thoughts from my mind, I gather up my dirty clothes and toss them into a basket.
I wonder if I’ll see Liam again. Something about him unnerves me and draws me in at the same time. He’s maddeningly beautiful and he smells delicious. If there were ever anyone I actually wanted to touch me, it would most definitely be him. Too bad I’ll never be able to allow that to happen.
Stepping into the hallway, I don’t see him, and his door is closed. I’ve probably ruined any chance at a friendship with him. My social ineptness caused me to flip out on him when he was only trying to look after me. It’s just so weird to go my entire life with nobody looking out for me and then, suddenly, they’re coming out of the woodwork. I’m overwhelmed by it most definitely.