“So that would mean I’d be living near shifters?” Marilyn asked.
“Yes.”
“I like that idea. How do I find out about them?” Tamika gave her some phone numbers.
“I’m sure I’ll have lots more questions for you in the time to come.”
“Absolutely. Fire away. I’m here to help.”
“The one thing that’s been on my mind a lot is, will the boys be able to shape shift?”
“It’s likely. You won’t know for sure until they’re grown, but around their early teens, you might start to see some signs.”
“That sounds scary but exciting.”
“It is. I’m anxiously looking for the initial signs in my two at the moment. Now, if there’s anything else you want to know, call me anytime. And I’ll hook you up with some of my friends, so you can start getting to know people.”
“Thanks so much, Tamika. I can’t believe that I found you, and that you’re so amazing.”
Tamika stood and gave her a warm hug.
“Welcome to Hope Valley, Marilyn. I’m sure you’ll be very happy here.”
Marilyn’s heart was light as she rushed back to the B&B, ready to give her mom the good news. Finally, things seemed to be falling into place.
The very next day, Marilyn rented a charming log cabin right at the edge of the forest, at the start of the road that led to the town. It was exquisitely built, in cherry wood, with two stories and a wrap-around porch. There was more than enough room for the four of them.
“Well, isn’t this just perfect, dear,” her mom said. “I feel just like Goldilocks and the three bears.” Marilyn went back home and sold most of her stuff from the old house, not wanting to be reminded of her old life. She had removal men pack up what was left, and she, her mom, Blake and Angus officially moved to Hope Valley.
Marilyn’s mom helped her decorate the cabin with furniture from a boutique store in the town. Her new place was a perfect combination of rustic and modern, and the ideal family home for her boys.
Soon, Angus and Blake celebrated their first birthdays. They were now capable of walking confidently – far earlier than indicated by the baby guides she owned. She barely breastfed them any more, since their appetites were so big, and they were beginning to feel like independent little people. They were inseparable from each other, and spent every minute of the day laughing and playing and testing each other for dominance. She observed that Angus, the larger of the two from birth onward, was the less dominant. He had a gentleness to him, while Blake was very sharp and agile. She loved them both so much that she thought her heart would burst every time she looked at them. And in turn, they were very loving boys, always coming to her for hugs and kisses. Often, she thought how glad she was to be divorced from Eric, and not have to share her boys’ love with his lukewarm affections. But at the same time, she felt strongly that they needed a father. They were so physical and energetic, and she’d never been sporty. They needed a man to take them out and play ball with them, teach them to climb trees. And she also missed having a man around, so badly. Her lovely big bed was lonely at night.
It was time. She called Tamika.
“Are you at home?” Tamika’s warm mellifluous tones boomed out of the phone. “I’m not far away, so I’ll come right over and install the app for you and show you how it works.”
An hour later, Marilyn was all set up on the app, which sat on her home screen as a little orange paw print icon. She’d added some photos, described her personality, her interests, her job. She explained that she was a mom to two bear-shifter kids. Tamika said that it might put off a minority of guys, as some just wanted their own kids, but shifters were generally more open to adopting babies than humans were.
“What about if they’re other types of shifter? Like, would a tiger shifter adopt two bear cubs?” Marilyn asked. Tamika frowned, thinking.
“I don’t see why not. I haven’t heard of it, but I don’t know why it wouldn’t happen. Are you against having another bear?”
“I don’t know. I liked Ryzard’s size. I like a really big guy who can wrap me up in his arms, and not take any of my snark. I liked the way that he was confident and insanely handsome, but not arrogant about it. He was just a really rugged guy. I could tell from his body that he worked at some tough physical job, and that was super hot.”
“Well you can filter by bear, if you want. Just turn it on or off right here.” Tamika leaned over and showed her the option. “And you can also filter by shifters who want kids and those who are happy to find a mate who has kids already.”
“Yes, I’m doing that!” Marilyn said, turning the filter on.
“Now all that remains is to answer the in-depth personality questions. This is the most sophisticated part of the app, as the algorithm helps you to find the most perfect match possible. This usually takes some time, so I’ll leave you to do that by yourself. But in the meantime, let’s see some matches!” Tamika swiped back to the home screen of the app, where there was a long line of thumbnails. “Bear in mind that these are only basic matches, and they’ll probably change a lot when you’ve completed the full personality profile, but there’s nothing wrong with looking at a little eye candy now is there?”
“Not at all.” Marilyn gasped as she clicked on the first thumbnail, revealing a lithe, svelte panther shifter with black hair and blue eyes. “Are all shifters insanely hot?”
“Yes.” Tamika grinned. “They all have incredible bodies because they run and hunt a lot in their animal forms, and they tend to have very good bone structure too.”
“How will I ever choose?”
“Oh, I think when you find the right one it’ll be obvious,” Tamika said with a mischievous smile as she got to her feet. “Ok, honey, I’ve got to run, but good luck, and have fun!”
When Marilyn had put Blake and Angus to bed that night, and her mom was curled up watching a TV show, she devoted the evening to answering the personality questions on the app. Like everything else in her life, she put all her effort into it, believing that this was the way to get the best possible result.
When she hit ‘refresh’ three hours later, the thumbnails had changed a lot, and there were three guys at the top registering possible matches of 80% or above. Her heart beat fast as she clicked on each thumbnail, wondering if this day would mark the beginning of a dramatic shift in her life.
4
Marilyn spent the next month chatting and flirting with a huge number of guys. She went on dates with lions, tigers and panthers, who were always right at the top of her feed. They always wanted to mate her, but despite their glowering eyes and buff bodies, she held off, knowing deep down that they weren’t the mates for her. She kept filtering by bear, but the best matches were in the 60-70% range. It wasn’t good enough; she wanted to be with a guy who suited her perfectly. She told herself that it might take some time, but one month turned into two, and then three, and her frustration grew. She started to wonder whether she was actually suited to a bear at all.
And then one day, she was sitting at her desk outside on the porch as a bright summer’s day faded to dusk, when a message alert on her phone pinged. She picked it up with a twinge of adrenalin, recognizing it as the Shiftr message tone.
The message said “Hi, beautiful”. Nothing else. Not too imaginative, but, hey. Guys often weren’t great at online chat. But when she tapped on his thumbnail photo, her eyes almost popped out of her head.
“Ryzard!” she yelled. She swiped frantically, going from one photo to another. It was him; no doubt about it. She’d never forget that moody half-smile, that torso, those eyes. Involuntarily, her body responded to him with a little tingle between her thighs. She crossed her legs in disgust, trying to subdue it. He’d got her drunk, fucked her senseless, freaked her the hell out, then disappeared. Oh, and somewhere in the midst of that, he’d impregnated her, and was now the unwitting father of her two boys. And he was sending her a message saying ‘Hi, beautiful’, like they’d never met
. Anger flooded her veins. She felt like she was just about ready to pop out of her skin.
“Where is that motherfucker?” she muttered, scrolling to her phone’s options. Her proximity locator was switched on. As was Ryzard’s. And he was only three miles away. “What? He’s been in Hope Valley this entire time?” she hissed, her anger going up several notches. She leapt to her feet and hurtled into the house.
“Mom! Can you watch the kids, please? I need to go out,” she hollered.
“Sure thing, hon,” her mom called back. Marilyn put her laptop down, grabbed the car keys and ran for her SUV.
Five minutes later, she was speeding along the dirt track that apparently led to Ryzard’s cabin.
5
Present time
Ryzard got to his feet, rubbing his cheek, scowling in incomprehension.
“Who are you? And why did you slap me?” he mumbled. The angry lady came closer, until she was a foot from his face. He rubbed the back of his head, and then recognition dawned across his features.
“I just sent you a message!” he said triumphantly. “But how did you find me here?”
“I used the locator on the app. But it doesn’t matter,” she snapped. “What matters is how you could’ve walked out on me two years ago, and then pop up with a message like that!” Ryzard’s brain felt like scrambled eggs. He had no clue what she was talking about.
“Walk out on you? Lady, apart from our communication on the app just now, I don’t believe we’ve ever met.” Her mouth opened and closed again. She blinked rapidly, and then her eyes became very bright and glassy.
“You don’t recognize me at all?”
“Nope.” He looked at her hard. She was even prettier in the flesh than in her photos, but her face didn’t set off any alerts in his mind. “You’re saying we’ve met before?”
“Yes!” she yelled, her voice taut with emotion.
“I’m sorry. My mind’s a little hazy. I used to be on the road a lot –”
“You mean, you’ve hooked up with so many women that all their faces blur into one?”
“Ye –” he cut himself off, aware that completing that sentence would be a very bad idea.
Niall stood up and laid a hand on his shoulder.
“Ryzard’s been through some rough times over the years,” he said. “He’s got it all in hand now, but please don’t take it personal if he can’t recall you. Maybe you can give him a hint or two?” Relief washed over Ryzard. He didn’t deserve for Niall to be so good to him, but he was immeasurably glad that he was there.
“I used to get a little drunk when I was working the roads. It could be lonely out there by myself day after day. And when I stopped, I didn’t know nobody. So oftentimes, I’d drink by myself. Maybe if you tell me where we met?”
The woman gave a dramatic sigh.
“It was in Melville. In a dingy bar just off the highway. I’d just run away from my husband after I caught him cheating on me. You came over and charmed the pants off me. We checked into a motel. Spent some time together. I fell asleep, and when I woke up, there was a bear in the room! I should think that would jog your memory. Unless you’re in the habit of shifting in front of every woman you meet?” she finished, but the end of her sentence was drowned out by snarls and growls and gasps of shock and dismay.
Memories of the night with Marilyn flooded Ryzard’s mind at once.
“Marilyn,” he looked at her. “I’m so sor –”
“You shifted in front of her?” Niall interrupted, his fists bunched in front of him. Ryzard nodded weakly. “How could you?”
“I couldn’t sleep and I decided to go run. But I kind of forgot she was there.”
“Because you were drunk!” all four bears bellowed in unison. Marilyn backed away from them nervously, as if terrified that they were going to attack.
“I might have been. I’m sorry. I never did anything like that before, or since.”
“As far as you know,” Niall growled. His shoulders were getting huge and his fur was starting to push its way out. Ryzard knew that in another second, Niall’s bear would have its jaws clamped around his throat, and it wouldn’t stop until he was done for. He stared at the woman in desperation.
“Marilyn, did you ever tell anyone what you saw?” he said. She shook her head.
“No. Because you threatened to go after me and my family if I did,” she spat. He let out a long breath.
“Thank god for that. And I’m very sorry for everything. For…”
“I don’t need your excuses,” the woman cut in. “I’ve met Tamika, who signed me up to the app and I’ve pledged to keep the shifter secret.”
“How did you meet her?” Niall asked, his tone polite, although every fiber in his body was tense.
“Well, although I knew this one was a deadbeat, let’s say I saw some potential in the general idea of a shape shifter. So I did some research and tracked her down via her English family.”
“It’s fine,” Niall said, turning to the others. “Tamika wouldn’t have signed her up if she hadn’t trusted her. Ryzard, you’d better thank your lucky stars that things have turned out like this, and she didn’t go running to the police or media.”
“I know,” Ryzard said miserably.
“But I don’t know what Connor’s going to say when he finds out. You jeopardized everything with your drunkenness. Our whole lives. You realize that?”
“I know. But he doesn’t have to know.”
“We’re so sick of your bullshit, Ryzard,” Dalton cut in. “This is just the latest in a series of incidents. You’re always pulling crap, but this is too much. Like we were saying earlier, being in the clan is a privilege, not a right. And the most important part of being in the clan is keeping our secret safe. You’re a disgrace.”
“Guys, come on. I’ve been trying to turn things around recently. This was a good while ago. And there was no harm done.”
“Just go, Ryzard!” Niall bellowed, his joints cracking and his face broadening as he struggled to control his shift. The other bears took a step closer to him, an anger in their eyes that he’d never seen before. His heart pounding, he turned tail and ran for his car.
Marilyn took his cue and did the same, terrified of being left alone with four furious bears.
6
Ryzard fought to keep his bear inside himself. It howled and clawed at his insides. It wanted to get hold of Marilyn and carry her off, and it didn’t care who it had to fight to achieve that.
“She hates my guts, stupid!” he roared at it in frustration. He clung tight to the steering wheel, but it was still ripped to shreds by the time he got home, his claws bursting from the ends of his fingers. His eyes were hot coals as he yanked the car door open and jumped out, so many emotions hurtling around his brain. His head felt like it was full of molten lava. I never should’ve agreed to sign up to that dumb app. All it’s done is bring me more grief. And get me kicked out of the clan. The look in his clan mates’ eyes as he left had chilled him to the bone. Why couldn’t the guys just leave me alone? I was fine the way I was. I knew dating wasn’t for me, right from the off. Most of all, he wished he’d never laid eyes on that woman in the first place, with her sexy eyes and her sob story.
He tore open the door of his cabin, and it came off in his hands. With a roar, he flung it aside. It went further than he’d expected and clunked against his car, denting the metal. A vein beat in his temples and his skin tightened and cracked. His cabin was an absolute dump. It wasn’t a home like the other guys’ places. It was a shack, with a thin, bare mattress on the floor, and a kitchen full of moldy pans. Random junk filled every available surface. He hated it. Hated the way that it reflected his character. He hurtled through the doorway, picked up a table, complete with all the junk that had been laying on top of it, and hurled it at the opposite wall. It shattered with a satisfying crunch, one of the legs going right through the wall. All the things on top of it smashed and scattered around the room. The wall of the cabin now ha
d a long gash in it, letting in daylight. He took a running jump and kicked it hard, until the whole wall shattered. He lifted the TV up, preparing to hurl it through the giant hole he’d created. And then he stopped. It’s just like me to trash everything. To continue until there’s nothing left. No clan, no home. No goodwill. And then I’ll be off driving trucks again, the pain of loneliness dragging at me every single day.
He collapsed onto the single step leading down from the cabin, his head in his hands. The chaos all around him matched his mind. What he needed was a drink to calm him down. Take the fighting spirit out of him. He got up and rummaged through the rubble for his fridge. It was empty, of course. Swearing, he got back into his car and screeched off to downtown Hope Valley.
As he pulled up in front of the first liquor store he came to, guilt and shame and fury rolled through him in waves. He yanked the door open and strode in. The devil was in him, and he knew that the only thing that would take away his pain was whisky. He approached the counter and the server gave a little squeak of terror and cowered into the corner. Ryzard was opening his mouth to demand a bottle of Wild Turkey, and he stopped. I’m getting drunk and scaring the crap out of humans again. That’s what got me into this mess in the first place. I probably look like a wild animal charging in here. I’m not even wearing a damn shirt.
“Excuse me, ma’am, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just in a hurry,” he said. “Would you be so good as to hand me a bottle of whisky?” Trembling like a prey animal, the woman reached for the whisky and handed it to him, her hand shaking so much that the bottle vibrated on the counter top. He threw some bills down and didn’t wait for the change.
Shiftr: Swipe Left for Love (Ryzard) BBW Bear Shifter Romance (Hope Valley BBW Dating App Romance Book 9) Page 4