by Skyla Madi
I wasn’t aware that Joel knew what they did, but unlike him, I’ll never mention what I saw because I don’t want to intrude on their thing.
It’ll be my little secret.
When dinner is over, and the sun has set, Monique and Hannah leave for the house, taking Benji and Jacob with them, leaving Emily, Huss, and I with Joel and Ted, who are drunk off their asses, arguing about which soccer team had the best goal of the season. I usually find it pretty calming to sit around a fire, but the one they’ve built is big enough to make me nervous.
When the fire is half the size it started as, Huss leaves, taking the trolley full of containers and rubbish with him. Two hours later, when their fire has reduced itself to a small blaze, not far off from being a pile of embers, Joel and Ted stumble off.
And we are alone.
Finally.
Emily pours out the remaining wine in her cup and sets the glass against the log behind us. I open my mouth to say something, then I close it. What do I say? Sorry I pretended to be dead and everyone knew about it except you? Sorry I abandoned you? Sorry I’m such a piece of shit?
I open my mouth again, only her sweet voice cuts in before I can say anything.
“That night, you promised you’d come back to me,” she utters, pinching her dress between her fingers. “You didn’t.”
Okay. I guess we’re diving straight into it. “I’m here now. I kept my promise.”
Emily cuts her eyes at me and shadows pool in the angry hollows of her face. “I thought you were dead. That makes your promise null and void.”
Point taken. I thought Joel explained everything to her? Didn’t she understand that my death was the only way to get the drop on Skull? Of course, I failed anyway, but up until Beirut, he had no idea I was on his tail.
I look away from her, unable to bear the pain in her expression, the hurt, the confusion. I think I’d rather anger and aggression—hell, a slap in the face would hurt less at this point. Alas, this is the conversation that has to be had in order for her to forgive me and for us to move on.
“I told myself I wouldn’t get mad at you, that I’d try to understand, but I need to get this off my chest if I want to feel better.”
“I’m all ears.”
“Look at me,” she demands, and I comply, absorbing a flinch when my stare locks with hers. “You made them lie to me.”
“I had to. Skull couldn’t know I was following him.”
“But he found out.”
I nod. “Yes. In Beirut.”
“Where you killed him?”
No. He got away. “Yes.”
I hate this. I hate that I’m lying directly to her face, but I can’t drop the bomb of Skull being alive on her shoulders. I can’t do that to her.
Emily watches me closely and I stare back, unwavering in my lie. How did Joel and Huss do it for so long? She’s barely batted an eyelid and already I want to come clean with her.
Tilting her head, she turns her body toward me. “You didn’t have to be dead, Jai.”
“If you knew I was alive, you never would have left the country. Skull would’ve taken you again.”
“If you told me your plan, I would have left.” She inches closer to me. “I would’ve waited for you, here, without the heartache and the loneliness.”
I peer out into the dark orchard. We both know that’s not true. She’d never leave me behind. She’s made that clear in the past.
“You don’t believe me?”
“No,” I tell her. “I don’t believe you.”
Emily lifts herself to her feet, grumbling under her breath about me being the one she shouldn’t believe. I shoot forward, snagging her wrist and stopping her from brushing grass off her dress.
“It’d be extremely uncharacteristic of me to let you walk away.”
She tries to yank her arm free, but she can’t. Emily’s stronger than she used to be—much stronger—but she’s still no match for me.
“It was extremely uncharacteristic of you to leave me on my own for a year, but you did it anyway.”
Touché. “I gave up everything to keep you safe.” I tug her forward and she swears as she falls into my lap. She squeaks as I grab the back of her thighs and pull them open, making her straddle me, her hips against mine, her chest against mine. “Stay. Tell me everything and get it all out because we’re moving on from it once we leave this orchard.”
I keep my eyes safely averted from the swollen tops of her breasts that are close enough for me to lick.
“It’s hard for me to talk to you about this,” she admits, pressing her palms flat against my chest.
I tighten.
Having her on my lap, me between her thighs, sends a familiar burst of arousal down my spine and I regret pulling her close. “You’re doing a good job so far.”
I wonder if she can feel the intensity of my gaze searing her lips as I wait for her to speak. She runs her tongue along her lower lip, a brief, wet swipe. Maybe she can.
“I was miserable without you,” she says, her words punching me in the gut. “Every day of my life has been torture.”
I don’t know how to make her feel better. I can’t take those days of despair back, no matter how bad I want to. “It’s been torture for me too.”
“You knew I was alive and safe. I picked out your headstone and planned your memorial.”
I gently place my hands against her thighs and they’re lost in the fabric of her dress. “You win.”
“There was something else I was supposed to bring up…I’ve forgotten.” She gazes at me from beneath her thick, black lashes, her burning, smoldering eyes locked intently on my lips. “I can’t think straight with you this close to me.”
“I can’t think straight with your hands on my chest.”
I expect her to move away and reclaim her personal space. Instead, she curls her hands into fists and clenches my shirt. “Have there been any other women in your life?”
I simper. It’s the easiest question I’ve ever been asked in my life. “Not a single one.”
“Really?”
How is she so surprised? Have I ever given her a reason not to trust me? Besides faking my own death, obviously.
“From the moment I met you, you’ve been the only one for me.” I lift my chin, bringing my mouth closer to hers. “I don’t need anyone else. I don’t want anyone else.”
Our lips graze and her breath hitches in her throat. It’s the sexiest sound I’ve heard in a long while. “Even after all this time?”
“Even if I came back fifty years from now.”
Warmth radiates from her hands against my chest and seeps into my pores. It spreads like wildfire up my neck and down my spine.
Kiss her.
I continue to stare at her, my eyes heavy, my breath shallow. The confidence to press my lips to hers escapes me, in fear of her rejecting me, of her telling me she no longer feels the way I feel—the way I’ve always felt about her.
“It’s going to take a little time, but…I want to continue where we left off.” She grazes her lips against mine, testing the water.
Is it warm for her? Because it’s lava for me. All I’ve wanted from the moment I saw her is to kiss her lips, to show her that nothing has changed. I still want her. Only her.
“I’ve got all the time in the world for you now, Kitten.”
Nine
Emily
Contact
I land and bounce on my bed with a gasp before Jai’s half-naked body covers mine. He’s all over me in an instant, his giant, needy hands pinching and squeezing, caressing every sliver of flesh he can. The feel of his rough, manly skin rubbing against mine is enough to set me on the edge. If I think about it too hard, about Jai on me—in me—I’ll immediately combust.
I don’t know what happened between grazing my lips against his in the orchard and arriving at my home, but somewhere between there and here, my dress was torn and discarded, and my lips became swollen, a result of his powerful kisses.
<
br /> “How much did you miss me?” Jai demands to know, sucking the flesh at the nape of my neck into his mouth.
“So much.” I sound breathless. “I could barely eat, barely sleep. My body never stopped aching for you. Even in the precious moments I managed to drift off.”
He crashes his full lips to mine and I open my mouth, allowing his eager, greedy tongue inside. He kisses me with unbridled passion and emotion, as if it’ll be the last time our lips touch.
I pray that’s not the case.
Over a year ago, every kiss could have been our last, but now that Skull’s dead, there’s no threat, no looming thunderstorm over our time together.
I slow the kiss, pushing my fingers into his hair, and pull his mouth off mine. Our eyes lock and the raw power that emanates from his eyes, the visceral hunger for sex—for me—both terrifies and excites me.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” I whisper, and though it’s quiet, my warning is loud and clear.
If he leaves me again, I’ll hunt him down and make him suffer. I’ll make him wish he never met me, that his death was real, not fake.
“Never.”
He lowers his mouth to kiss me, but I tighten my grip in his hair, making him hiss in pain. I lift my chin, narrowing my eyes at him. I may be the only one in their underwear, pinned down by strong male hips, but I hold all the power. “Promise me.”
In the darkness, I hear his hesitation. It’s a miniscule catch of breath as his heart battles with his mind. Who will win?
“I promise I’ll never leave you again.”
I loosen my grip on his hair and he lowers his mouth to kiss me. When our lips graze, I tighten my hold and pull him back with a weak groan as arousal throbs mercilessly between my legs.
“Don’t do this…” he groans, flexing his hips against mine. “Let me kiss you.”
“You want to kiss me?”
“Yeah.”
“How badly?”
He flexes his hips against me again, making my eyes flutter as I try to hold on to my sanity. “If I told you how bad I want to kiss you, how bad I want to be with you, it might scare you off.”
My lips twitch. “That bad, huh?”
He flicks his tongue out and licks mine, making my tummy flip. “Worse.”
Slowly, I release his hair from the tight grip I have on it and he closes the tiny distance between our mouths. When he touches his lips to mine, it’s softer, more careful. He licks my lips, coaxing me into opening my mouth, and he darts his tongue inside with a tight noise in his throat.
Jai pays extra attention to my mouth, slow and purposeful, and I easily become entranced by his kiss, my body perfectly still as he tastes me. I sigh. I could kiss him all night.
His wandering fingers take their time as he sweeps them up and down my sides, making my pulse hammer through my veins. His fingers are warm, but my skin is on fire, and I deepen the kiss, lifting my head off the bed to kiss him harder, forcing my tongue to move firmer against his.
The feel of his rough hands on my body again, for the first time since the lake house, feels too good to be true. He’s no longer a memory, and sex between us is no longer a figment of my imagination, or an impossible desire that can never be fulfilled.
He’s here. In the flesh.
He’s against my body, between my legs, and inside my mouth.
Jai lifts his body enough to slip his fingers under the fabric of my white underwear. My breath hitches painfully as a feeling of electricity explodes from the tips of his fingers, making my sensitive flesh pulse.
I break the kiss and Jai stills his hand, one knuckle deep under the hem of my panties.
“What’s wrong?” His voice is thick with concern and laced with tight tones of arousal.
“Nothing.” I swallow. “I just haven’t done this in a while.”
He glides the tough pads of his fingers in circles on my bare mound, inciting goosebumps to spring over every inch of my skin.
“I don’t recall you being nervous when we first had sex,” he points out. “Do I make you nervous now?”
I catch my lip between my teeth and nod. Now is different. Back in those tunnels, I didn’t give a shit what Jai Stone thought of me, but now I’m in love with him. And that makes it different. What if the sex between us isn’t as good as before? What if he doesn’t enjoy me as much?
The pleasure he previously filled my body with is siphoned out by my own stupid insecurity and negative thoughts. I move an arm between us, draping it across my stomach. I’ve put on weight here in Italy. Sixteen pounds. Granted, it has been evenly distributed across my body, but I still notice it. I blame it on the pasta, wine, and Monique’s obsession with baking delicious treats.
“I tell you what,” he sighs, lifting himself off me and off the bed. “I’ll meet you on even ground.”
He rids himself of his remaining clothes and my lips part. I can’t believe I’m looking at him.
And he’s naked…
…and fucking perfect.
His body is exactly how I remember it. Every dip and swell of his muscles are perfectly proportioned. From his solid pecs, to his flawlessly defined abs that give way to his beautiful Adonis belt which leads down to…
…my throat dries when my stare falls to the most breathtaking part of him and all rational thought becomes a thing of the past. His erection protrudes proudly, but it only lasts a second in my sight before Jai climbs onto the bed.
“Now I’m nervous,” he murmurs as he reaches for my underwear with his large hands. “You’re wearing more clothes than I am.”
He curls his fingers around the seamless fabric and gently tugs. I hold my breath, lifting my hips as he easily slides my panties down my legs and tosses them to the floor when my feet release them.
“Feel better?” I ask on exhale, my nerves eating through me, like termites in a treehouse.
He shakes his head, making eye contact with me, and my stomach flips. There’s something about the raw power that emanates from his eyes that simmers the blood in my veins.
Jai holds out his hand and I take it. With a gentle pull, he eases me into a seated position and gives me a look that I can only deduce as “take off your bra,” so I reach around and undo the clasp.
My heart pounds and my breasts become heavy when the support of my white strapless bra is taken away. I cup my breasts, holding the fabric against them and Jai, unimpressed, moves further onto the bed.
“Why are you hiding from me?” he asks, advancing on me like a lion would its prey.
He pushes his knee between my legs, opening them up, and settles between them. His warmth radiates over my cool, naked body and he ends up close, so close. I have no choice but to lie down.
“I’m not hiding from you,” I reply, trying to sound confident, but my voice is pathetic. I swallow and slow my breathing, desperate to calm my racing heart.
“You are.” Jai skims his hand along the ribs on my left and follows the curve of my body until he grips my thigh and squeezes. Sighing, he rests his forehead against mine. “You’re so fucking soft, and beautiful. If you don’t want to show me all of you, you don’t have to.”
He kisses me gently, and I don’t close my eyes for a second in fear his face will change to someone else’s when I open them. I would die if this wasn’t real.
Jai shifts his hips and my mouth opens with a gasp when I feel his hard length slide against the very apex of my thighs. He groans, the guttural sound sending powerful shockwaves of pleasure through my system, and grazes his hand up and down my side, my exposed skin tingling wherever he touches it.
A beat later he moves his hips, sliding his bare cock up and down on me. He glides with ease, without friction, and the firmness of him, like steel wrapped in thick silk, sends my nerves into overdrive. I shiver, opening my legs wider, wanting more, wanting a stronger feel. He makes no move to slip inside me and I can’t help but wonder if I’ve given him the impression that I don’t want to sleep with him?
I
want to.
More than anything.
I lift my hips over and over, grinding against him as much as he grinds against me. He curses under his breath, my name an angry, desperate spit attached to the end, and moves harder, faster, holding himself above me with his strong arms. My fingers twitch with the urge to touch them and I can’t help but let go of my breasts to glide my palms up his hard, smooth ropes of muscle. They vibrate minutely. Whether they tremble with his weight or arousal, I don’t know. Either way, it’s hot.
“Don’t ever hide these beautiful tits from me,” he demands, and in one swift movement, he whips my bra off my chest. I suck in a hot, ragged gasp as he tosses it aside and clenches my breast in his huge hand. “They’re too fucking perfect to be hidden.”
Craning his neck, he closes his mouth over my nipple and sucks hard until I hiss, until my back arches off the bed. In the space between my back and the mattress, he wraps an arm around my waist and holds me tight, clenching me harder with every thrust of his hips as he continues to slide his hard erection against me.
“Jai…” I whisper, too afraid to say his name any louder in case he disappears.
A delicious, unrelenting tingle stirs in my chest and spreads to my spine. When it wraps around my spine, infecting each vertebra, my lungs begin to shrink, forcing my breathing to become shallow. “Faster.”
He releases my breast with a pop and presses his forehead to mine. Our breath clashes together, both ragged and desperate. Needy and greedy, the current of our desire courses back and forth between us.
He thrusts faster and faster and I grow wetter, making it too easy for him to slip between my creases over and over until my hips move of their own accord, seeking his friction, but it’s not enough. His cock is too smooth and I’ve never been a clit girl, especially not with Jai.
I grab his hips in my hands and become distracted by how he moves. Christ. I inhale sharply as unbearable pleasure shoots like fireworks up the back of my neck and explodes across every hair follicle on my head, making me shiver.