The Sins of the Father: A Romance of the South
Page 53
CHAPTER XXIX
THE DREGS IN THE CUP
Norton walked quickly to the window, drew back the draperies, opened thecasement and looked out to see if Andy were eavesdropping. He watched thelazy figure cross the lawn, glancing back at the house. The full moon, atits zenith, was shining in a quiet glory, uncanny in its dazzlingbrilliance.
He stood drinking in for the last time the perfumed sweetness and languorof the Southern night. His senses seemed supernaturally acute. He coulddistinctly note the odors of the different flowers that were in bloom onthe lawn. A gentle breeze was blowing from the path across the old rosegarden. The faint, sweet odor of the little white carnations his mother hadplanted along the walks stole over his aching soul and he was a child againwatching her delicate hands plant them, while grumbling slaves protested atthe soiling of her fingers. She was looking up with a smile saying:
"I love to plant them. I feel that they are my children then, and I'mmaking the world sweet and beautiful through them!"
Had he made the world sweeter and more beautiful?
He asked himself the question sternly.
"God knows I've tried for twenty years--and it has come to this!"
The breeze softened, the odor of the pinks grew; fainter and the strangepenetrating smell of the hedge of tuberoses swept in from the otherdirection with the chill of Death in its breath.
His heart rose in rebellion. It was too horrible, such an end of life! Hewas scarcely forty-nine years old. Never had the blood pulsed through hisveins with stronger throb and never had his vision of life seemed clearerand stronger than to-day when he had faced those thousands of cheering menand hinted for the first time his greater plans for uplifting the Nation'slife.
The sense of utter loneliness overwhelmed his soul. The nearest being inthe universe whose presence he could feel was the dead wife and mother.
His eye rested on the portrait tenderly:
"We're coming, dearest, to-night!"
For the first time his spirit faced the mystery of eternity at close range.He had long speculated in theories of immortality and brooded over theproblem of the world that lies but a moment beyond the senses.
He had clasped hands with Death now and stood face to face, calm andunafraid. His mind quickened with the thought of the strange world intowhich he would be ushered within an hour. Would he know and understand? Orwould the waves of oblivion roll over the prostrate body without a sign? Itcouldn't be! The hunger of immortality was too keen for doubt. He would seeand know! The cry rose triumphant within. He refused to perish with themoth and worm. The baser parts of his being might die--the nobler mustlive. There could be no other meaning to this sublimely cruel and maddecision to kill the body rather than see it dishonored. His eye caughtthe twinkle of a star through the branches of a tree-top. His feet wouldfind the pathway among those shining worlds! There could be no othermeaning to the big thing that throbbed and ached within and refused to becontent to whelp and stable here as a beast of the field. Pride, Honor,Aspiration, Prayer, meant this or nothing!
"I've made blunders here," he cried, "but I'm searching for the light andI'll find the face of God!"
The distant shouts of cheering hosts still celebrating in the Squarebrought his mind to earth with a sickening shock. He closed the windows,and drew the curtains. His hands clutched the velvet hangings in a momentof physical weakness and he steadied himself before turning to call Tom.
Recovering his composure in a measure, his hand touched the revolver in hispocket, the tall figure instinctively straightened and he walked rapidlytoward the hall. He had barely passed the centre of the room when the boy'svoice distinctly echoed from the head of the stairs:
"I'll be back in a minute, dear!"
He heard the door of Helen's room close softly and the firm step descendthe stairs. The library door opened and closed quickly, and Tom stoodbefore him, his proud young head lifted and his shoulders squared. Thedignity and reserve of conscious manhood shone in every line of hisstalwart body and spoke in every movement of face and form.
"Well, sir," he said quietly. "It's done now and it can't be helped, youknow."
Norton was stunned by the sudden appearance of the dear familiar form. Hiseyes were dim with unshed tears. It was too hideous, this awful thing hehad to do! He stared at him piteously and with an effort walked to hisside, speaking in faltering tones that choked between the words:
"Yes, it's done now--and it can't be helped"--he strangled and couldn't goon--"I--I--have realized that, my son--but I--I have an old letter fromyour mother--that I wanted to show you before you go--you'll find it on thedesk there."
He pointed to the desk on which burned the only light in the room.
The boy hesitated, pained by the signs of deep anguish in his father'sface, turned and rapidly crossed the room.
The moment his back was turned, Norton swiftly and silently locked thedoor, and with studied carelessness followed.
The boy began to search for the letter:
"I don't see it, sir."
The father, watching him with feverish eyes, started at his voice, raisedhis hand to his forehead and walked quickly to his side:
"Yes, I--I--forgot--I put it away!"
He dropped limply into the chair before the desk, fumbled among the papersand drew the letter from the pigeon-hole in which he had placed it.
He held it in his hand, shaking now like a leaf, and read again the scrawlthat he had blurred with tears and kisses. He placed his hand on the top ofthe desk, rose with difficulty and looked for Tom. The boy had movedquietly toward the table. The act was painfully significant of their newrelations. The sense of alienation cut the broken man to the quick. Hecould scarcely see as he felt his way to the boy's side and extended theopen sheet of paper without a word.
Tom took the letter, turned his back on his father and read it in silence.
"How queer her handwriting!" he said at length.
Norton spoke in strained muffled tones:
"Yes--she--she was dying when she scrawled that. The mists of the otherworld were gathering about her. I don't think she could see the paper"--thevoice broke, he fought for self-control and then went on--"but every tinyslip of her pencil, each little weak hesitating mark etched itself in fireon my heart"--the voice stopped and then went on--"you can read them?"
"Yes."
The father's long trembling finger traced slowly each word:
"'Remember that I love you and have forgiven----'"
"Forgiven what?" Tom interrupted.
Norton turned deadly pale, recovered himself and began in a low voice:
"You see, boy, I grew up under the old regime. Like a lot of other fellowswith whom I ran, I drank, gambled and played the devil--you know what thatmeant in those days----"
"No, I don't," the boy interrupted. "That's just what I don't know. Ibelong to a new generation. And you've made a sort of exception of me evenamong the men of to-day. You taught me to keep away from women. I learnedthe lesson. I formed clean habits, and so I don't know just what you meanby that. Tell me plainly."
"It's hard to say it to you, my boy!" the older man faltered.
"I want to know it."
"I--I mean that twenty years ago it was more common than now for youngstersto get mixed up with girls of negroid blood----"
The boy shrank back:
"You!--great God!"
"Yes, she came into my life at last--a sensuous young animal with wide,bold eyes that knew everything and was not afraid. That sentence means theshame from which I've guarded you with such infinite care----"
He paused and pointed again to the letter, tracing its words:
"'Rear our boy free from the curse!'--you--you--see why I have been sodesperately in earnest?"--Norton bent close with pleading eagerness: "Andthat next sentence, there, you can read it? 'I had rather a thousand timesthat he should die than this--My brooding spirit will watch and guard'"--hepaused and repeated--"'that he should die'--you--you--see that?"
The boy looked at his father's trembling hand and into his glittering eyeswith a start:
"Yes, yes, but, of course, that was only a moment's despair--no mothercould mean such a thing."
Norton's eyes fell, he moved uneasily, tried to speak again and was silent.When he began his words were scarcely audible:
"We must part now in tenderness, my boy, as father and son--we--we--must dothat you know. You--you forgive me for striking you to-night?"
Tom turned away, struggled and finally answered:
"No."
The father followed eagerly:
"Tell me that it's all right!"
The boy's hand nervously fumbled at the cloth on the table:
"I--I--am glad I didn't do something worse!"
"Say that you forgive me! Why is it so hard?"
Tom turned his back:
"I don't know, Dad, I try, but--I--just can't!"
The father's hand touched the boy's arm timidly:
"You can never understand, my son, how my whole life has been bound up inyou! For years I've lived, worked, and dreamed and planned for you alone.In your young manhood I've seen all I once hoped to be and have never been.In your love I've found the healing of a broken heart. Many a night I'vegone out there alone in that old cemetery, knelt beside your mother's graveand prayed her spirit to guide me that I might at least lead your littlefeet aright----"
The boy moved slightly and the father's hand slipped limply from his, hestaggered back with a cry of despair, and fell prostrate on the lounge:
"I can endure anything on this earth but your hate, my boy! I can't endurethat--I can't--even for a moment!"
His form shook with incontrollable grief as he lay with his face buried inhis outstretched arms.
The boy struggled with conflicting pride and love, looked at the scrawled,tear-stained letter he still held in his hand and then at the bowed figure,hesitated a moment, and rushed to his father's side, knelt and slipped hisarm around the trembling figure:
"It's all right, Dad! I'll not remember--a single tear from your eyes blotsit all out!"
The father's hand felt blindly for the boy's and grasped it desperately:
"You won't remember a single harsh word that I've said?"
"No--no--it's all right," was the soothing answer, as he returned thepressure.
Norton looked at him long and tenderly:
"How you remind me of _her_ to-night! The deep blue of your eyes, thetrembling of your lips when moved, your little tricks of speech, the tearthat quivers on your lash and never falls and the soul that's mirroredthere"--he paused and stroked the boy's head--"and her hair, the beatengold of honeycomb!"
His head sank and he was silent.
The boy again pressed his hand tenderly and rose, drawing his father to hisfeet:
"I'm sorry to have hurt you, Dad. I'm sorry that we have to go--good-by!"
He turned and slowly moved toward the door. Norton slipped his right handquickly to the revolver, hesitated, his fingers relaxed and the deadlything dropped back into his pocket as he sank to his seat with a groan:
"Wait! Wait, Tom!"
The boy stopped.
"I--I've got to tell it to you now!" he went on hoarsely. "I--I tried tosave you this horror--but I couldn't--the way was too hard and cruel."
Tom took a step and looked up in surprise:
"The way--what way?"
"I couldn't do it," the father cried. "I just couldn't--and so I have totell you."
The boy spoke with sharp eagerness:
"Tell me what?"
"Now that I know you are married in all that word means and I have failedto save you from it--I must give you the proofs that you demand. I mustprove to you that Helen _is_ a negress----"
A sudden terror crept into the young eyes:
"You--you have the proofs?"
"Yes!" the father nodded, placing his hand on his throat and fighting forbreath. He took a step toward the boy, and whispered:
"Cleo--is--her mother!"
Tom flinched as if struck a blow. The red blood rushed to his head and heblanched with a death-like pallor:
"And you have been afraid of Cleo?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
The father's head was slowly lowered and his hands moved in the slightestgesture of dumb confession.
A half-articulate, maniac cry and the boy grasped him with trembling hands,screaming in his face:
"God in Heaven, let me keep my reason for just amoment!--So--you--are--Helen's----"
The bowed head sank lower.
"Father!"
Tom reeled, and fell into a chair with a groan:
"Lord have mercy on my lost soul!"
Norton solemnly lifted his eyes:
"God's full vengeance has fallen at last! You have married your own----"
The boy sprang to his feet covering his face:
"Don't! Don't! Helen doesn't know?"
"No."
"She mustn't!" he shivered, looking wildly at his father. "But why,why--oh, dear God, why didn't you kill me before I knew!"
He sank back into the chair, his arms outstretched across the table, hisface hidden in voiceless shame.
The father slowly approached the prostrate figure, bent low and tenderlyplaced his cheek against the blonde head, soothing it with trembling touch.For a long while he remained thus, with no sound breaking the stillnesssave the sobs that came from the limp form.
And then Norton said brokenly:
"I tried, my boy, to end it for us both without your knowing just now whenyour back was turned, but I couldn't. It seemed too cowardly and cruel! Ijust couldn't"--he paused, slowly drew the revolver from his pocket andlaid it on the table.
The boy felt the dull weight of the steel strike the velvet cover and knewwhat had been done without lifting his head.
"Now you know," the father added, "what we both must do."
Tom rose staring at the thing on the dark red cloth, and lifted his eyes tohis father's.
"Yes, and hurry! Helen may come at any moment."
He had barely spoken when the knob of the door turned. A quick knock washeard at the same instant and Helen's voice rang through the hall:
"Tom! Tom!"
Norton grasped the pistol, thrust it under the table-cover and pressed theboy toward the door:
"Quick! Open it, at once!"
Tom stared in a stupor, unable to move until his father shook his arm:
"Quick--open it--let her in a moment--it's best."
He opened the door and Helen sprang in breathlessly.