Snow stopped in the middle of the sidewalk along Madison. He had walked so far that he was now only a couple blocks from the river. He could see the Ascent rising up in front of him, almost mocking him with the tantalizing promise of Lucas and his damn penthouse. But he closed his eyes. Andrei would be there.
Loneliness swelled like a black wave of tar, painful and thick, stealing his ability to breathe.
This was stupid. He shouldn’t be standing here like a fool feeling sorry for himself and he wasn’t going to just run into Gratton out here. The man had been doing Jagger’s dirty work for years. He wasn’t a total idiot. The fact was that if he truly wanted to find Gratton, he needed to tell Rowe. The sneaky bastard had more connections and ears on the ground than rats in the alleys. If Gratton was still in Cincy, Rowe would find him. Snow headed back to where he’d parked his Lexus. He’d go to The Laundry Room and see if he could find a distraction.
His phone rang again an hour later as Snow backed a dark-haired, dark-eyed man into a wall. Bodies in tight clothes writhed around them, packed into the nightclub in a mass of muscles and sweat. Light swirled overhead, but this corner was nice and shadowed, the music slightly muffled. The man under Snow’s hands had almost the right height and build.
If Snow closed his eyes, he could pretend it was the man he really wanted. He did vaguely resemble the paramedic. He was heavier than Jude and there wasn’t a shadow of whiskers on his chin, but his coloring was close.
“So, are we even going to exchange names here?”
Snow stepped into him, liking his wide shoulders, the strong muscles in his arms revealed by the tight, black T-shirt. “Why?”
“It’s not my usual thing.”
“What? Sex?”
The man touched his jaw. “No, sex is my thing. Hell, it’s everyone’s thing here.” The guy shuddered when Snow pressed in harder against him. “I just meant I usually like names, possibly a date or two first.”
Damn, he talked too much. Snow leaned closer and put his nose against the man’s neck. He inhaled. Too much aftershave. Too spicy. Snow didn’t mind some scents, but he liked them applied with a lighter hand because he loved the way men smelled, their natural sweat and masculine musk. He turned and firmly placed his teeth on the long muscle in his neck, loving the groan that rumbled against his chest. Hands clenched on his waist and tugged him closer.
Whether the guy did this usually or not was a moot point as far as the hard dick against Snow’s hip was concerned. His own wasn’t giving Snow the kind of response he expected. Not like last night—or rather early this morning—with Jude.
The phone in his front pocket vibrated again. He ignored it. When it immediately went off again, Snow pulled back and frowned. Cursing, he pulled out his cell. Lucas’s number again flashed across the screen and fear slammed into him. His friend wasn’t the type to keep calling. He rang once and didn’t ever leave a message, because the arrogant ass expected to be called back immediately.
“What?” Snow barked into the phone, placing his hand on the man’s chest. Not that he expected him to walk away, but Snow wasn’t taking any chances tonight. He needed. Badly.
“Why the fuck haven’t you been answering your goddamn phone?” Lucas yelled back, his voice loud enough to reach over the music. “You need to get to UC now. Ian and Melissa were in an accident.”
The walls narrowed around Snow as he dropped his hand and stepped unsteadily away from the man. His chest squeezed, making it nearly impossible to draw a breath. For one gut-twisting second, he couldn’t bring himself to ask, to hear the possible answer. But he forced out the words. “Are they okay?”
“Just get here. I thought you were supposed to be working tonight.” Lucas sounded furious and...wrecked. Someone was crying in the background. His heart turned to ice.
“Ian?” Snow breathed as panic shot through him. “Please tell me he’s okay.”
“He’s hurt,” Lucas said, his voice shaking. “Look Snow, it’s bad. I have to go. Just get here. Please, hurry.”
Snow stared at his phone in disbelief. Lucas had hung up without giving him any details. Anger and fear grew into a swirling black mass inside him and he blinked when someone touched him. He snarled, then focused on the man in front of him, having forgotten him. “I have to leave. Family emergency.”
The guy nodded, his expression surprisingly full of concern. “I hope whoever it is, is okay.” He touched Snow’s arm. “Hold on.” He dug into his pocket and pulled out a card. “Here’s my number. Call me. We’ll have that date.”
Snow took the card though he didn’t date, and absentmindedly stuffed it into his pocket as he ran from the club. Why wouldn’t Lucas have told him more? The only reason he could think was it had to be the worst news possible.
Chapter 4
The first person he saw when he ran into the hospital was Jude. He sat in a chair, slumped over, uniform wrinkled and dirty...worry drawing his striking face taut. His eyes widened when he spotted Snow and he jumped up. Snow stopped, looked into dark brown eyes, shiny with sympathy, and knew without a doubt that he didn’t want to keep going, wasn’t sure if his legs were even going to carry him.
“Did you bring my friends in?” he asked. The words clogged his throat, coming out hoarse and broken so that he barely recognized his own voice.
Jude nodded. “It was a hit and run. Their SUV flipped and they were both pinned inside.” Jude reached out, lightly touched Snow’s arm. “I’m so sorry. You should go to your friends.”
His mind snagged on Jude’s explanation, wrapping around the confusion rather than facing the horror that was waiting for him just a few steps away. Neither Ian nor Melissa drove an SUV. Was it really them? Could Lucas be wrong? Fuck, please let him be wrong. Let them all be wrong.
Snow frowned as he forced himself to pull his gaze from Jude and walk to the waiting area. His heart was beating so hard, it reverberated in his ears.
And then his breath froze. Rowe sat on the floor, cradled in Lucas’s arms. Lucas looked up, expression bleak as he met Snow’s gaze and slowly shook his head. Andrei hovered over them both, his normally dark skin unnaturally pale. Snow covered his hand with his mouth as he took in the violent sobs wracking Rowe’s body, his body swayed as his knees threatened to give out.
All the different voices around them blended into a roar in Snow’s ears. Rowe—their strong, funny Rowe—completely devastated. He knew what that meant. Melissa. Oh God. Everything around him spun, then narrowed into a tunnel that wavered. He blinked when someone from the hospital suddenly stood in front of him. He knew her. Sanders. Sarah. Doctor. Pediatrics. What was a pediatric resident doing here?
“Hey, Dr. Frost, your friends have been waiting for you. Let’s sit down.” She nodded to his right and he turned to find Jude there again. The man wrapped a strong hand securely around his arm and tugged him toward the chair behind Andrei.
“No.” Snow pulled away. “Where is she? Where’s Ian? Somebody tell me what the hell happened!”
He locked onto Rowe and waited for the world to disappear beneath his feet.
###
They were wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Rowe kept repeating the word over and over in his head because if he didn’t he wouldn’t be able to breathe. The world began and ended with Mel. Nothing could stop her. Nothing could steal her from him. She was everything. The air, laughter, hope, life. The world.
Not his Mel.
But Lucas was holding him tight and the world around him kept spinning, blurring with that doctor’s words.
The damage was too extensive.
She’d lost too much blood.
There was nothing we could do.
Too late.
Nothing…
But that didn’t make sense. They were doctors. There was always something they could do to stop the bleeding and fix the wound.
Snow’s voice broke through the dull roar in Rowe’s ears. He should have been here. With Snow, there was no such thing as too much or too l
ate.
Shoving off Lucas’s hands, Rowe gracelessly pushed to his feet. “Where were you?” he demanded, his voice gravel choked. Snow stopped demanding answers, two strangers on either side of him. “Where were you? You were supposed to be here.”
Someone’s hand dropped on his shoulder, but Rowe shrugged it off, taking two stumbling steps to close the distance between himself and Snow. Wrapping his fingers in the lapels of Snow’s winter coat, he pulled him close. “Where were you? Were you off getting your dick sucked while my wife died? Why weren’t you here to save her? You’re supposed to save her!”
“No, Rowe!” Lucas’s voice came sharp, trying to slice through the rage that was building. Some part of his brain registered the raw pain that dug ugly furrows through Snow’s face, but it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t there. How many messes and nightmares had they pulled each other out of over the years? They were always there for each other. Always. But Snow had failed to keep up his end of the bargain.
Rowe threw off the strong hands grabbing at him, pulling him away from Snow. There were words buzzing around him, but he couldn’t understand them. There was only the man who failed him. Failed his wife.
Balling up his fist, he slammed it into Snow’s jaw. The man staggered to the side, falling to his knees. He didn’t even register the flare of pain in his fist. Rowe lurched forward, preparing to continue his attack, but multiple hands grabbed him, wrapping him up. There were more soothing words, but they didn’t touch him.
“How many people have you saved? People you didn’t give a fuck about. People who didn’t give a fuck about you. You saved them. Why couldn’t you save Mel? She loved you. She defended you. Where were you?”
“Rowe—” Snow’s voice was raw and barely audible over the pounding in his ears.
“She loved you!” he screamed.
“Rowe, stop. It’s not his fault.” Lucas’s calm words did nothing to dampen the fire in his gut.
“Get out of here, doc. Leave.”
A stranger in a paramedic’s uniform helped Snow to his feet. His friend’s face was ravaged, but Rowe couldn’t bring himself to care. He watched Snow’s retreating back, supported by the paramedic, until he disappeared from sight. And then the rage left him. His legs collapsed beneath him and Lucas held him as they dropped back to the floor, sobs choking him. His Mel was gone.
###
Jude couldn’t leave and he didn’t know why. His shift had been over for hours and he couldn’t bring himself to take the few steps necessary to walk out into the night. He wanted to go to his ridiculously tiny apartment and sleep. Or try to. He needed to stop seeing the accident, the blood…and he desperately needed to forget the look on the doctor’s face when he’d realized his friend had died. Add in his devastation over the husband’s reaction and Jude just couldn’t leave.
Waiting outside Ian Pierce’s room, Jude roughly scrubbed his hand over his face, trying to clear his head. He and Rebecca had been first on the scene and she’d run to the driver’s side while he’d gone to Ian on the passenger’s. When Ian had first come to, he’d panicked, been delirious, mumbling a lot of nonsense, but some things trickled through. Mostly about hotel rooms and how much he hated being tied up—the seatbelt had been holding him in place because their SUV had flipped upside down.
The younger man had been instantly recognizable because like most in the hospital, Jude had seen only a few people who made Doc Frost smile with true joy and this one showed up often carrying packages of food that smelled incredible. Knowing the victim was the doc’s friend had just about killed Jude—especially when he’d caught Rebecca looking directly at him and shaking her head. She’d known the other passenger’s wounds were too severe.
Still, they’d worked hard to save her.
He looked down at the dried, dark splotches on his uniform and had to squeeze his eyes shut. He hated, hated, losing people but it was so much worse when it was someone connected to the hospital.
Though Ian had been awake, he’d been in too much pain to realize how bad off his friend had been. He held up well until he’d realized she hadn’t made it.
Jude thought his cries might stay in his nightmares for months to come.
One of the nurses came out of the room and Jude caught a glimpse of Doc Frost leaning over the bed, his hand stroking the younger man’s hair. Light blue eyes, full of anguish, looked up before the door closed.
Five minutes later, the doctor came out of the room and stopped in front of Jude. “Why are you still here?”
“I thought you might need…”
“What?” He leaned close, his breath hot on Jude’s face. “What could you possibly think I’d need?”
Jude tightened his lips, then shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know why I stayed.”
“Neither do I.” Snow stared at him, or through him, and this time, his voice lacked the usual snap. He turned his gaze to the door of his friend’s room. “Tell me about the accident.”
A group of people came down the hall, noisy with laughter, celebratory balloons clutched in their hands. They stopped right beside them and only one seemed to notice the solemn air around Snow and Jude.
“Hold on,” Jude said. He walked down the hall to a small waiting room and finding it empty, waved the doctor to him. The man’s movements lacked the usual arrogant strides as he frowned and followed Jude into the room. He was only a few inches taller than Jude but his presence was so large, the room instantly felt tiny. Snow looked around like he’d never seen the private niche before. The grief and shock pouring off the man came in waves that slapped Jude. Before he could stop himself, he was reaching and pulling Snow to him, expecting a pop in the face at any second.
But the doctor’s knees buckled and he shocked the hell out of Jude when he wrapped arms around him and buried his face in Jude’s neck.
“Hey General,” Jude said, voice soft. “I’m so, so sorry.” He wrapped his arms around Snow and pulled him in tight, held him close. “I don’t know what I can tell you that the cops already haven’t. I will say that I’m shocked that anyone hit them that hard and got away.” He went on to describe the accident and what they did to help Ian and Melissa. “Her injuries were too severe.”
“I should have been here. I was supposed to be here tonight.”
Jude tightened his arms. “You couldn’t have done anything to save her.” He knew the doctor would realize that once he was past the shock. And, unfortunately, the guilt over not being here. Jude got it, he did. If one of his family members had been brought in, he’d want to be here to make sure everything was done correctly. And he probably didn’t have near the control issues this man had. Jude hardly knew him, but that was one thing he could plainly see. And well, control issues tended to be a trait of surgeons. It was a good thing, too. Made them sharper, more focused.
“You want me to take you back out to your friends? I think you’ll need each other tonight.” Jude’s eyes pricked when he thought of the redheaded man on the floor, the devastation he must be feeling. “Dr. Frost?”
“Snow,” he growled into Jude’s neck. “I told you to call me Snow.”
The doctor pulled back and kept going until his spine was to a wall. Watery blue eyes fell shut and he leaned his head back. He had a long neck and broad shoulders. With those sharp eyes closed and grief softening his features, he held a kind of masculine beauty that stole Jude’s breath. But it wasn’t the face and body that drew Jude to him so strongly. Those were both off the charts and everything he liked in a man, yeah, but Snow had something more that was drawing Jude in so much. A kind of need that burned underneath all that heady confidence.
Jude wanted to know him. Not just sleep with him—and he wanted that pretty damn bad. No, he wanted to just be around him. “Come on,” he said softly. “Last time I checked your friends were still here. Dr. Sanders moved them to an empty room.” He thought of holding out his hand but knew the doctor’s moment of weakness was over and he’d see holding hands in the hospital as a h
uge sign of weakness. Nobody here would care but that wouldn’t matter to Snow.
They made their way through the throng of celebrating people, who all quieted this time. One of the staff must have shushed them and asked them to respect those who weren’t getting good news this evening. Jude glanced over his shoulder at the tall man behind him often as they walked, hating to see him so sad, but also drawn to look at him over and over.
Dr. Sanders spotted them and pointed to the room she’d given Snow’s friends to use. Her pretty face was drawn in lines of worry and exhaustion so he showed Snow to the room and kept walking to her. He glanced over his shoulder once again to find Snow hovering in the doorway. He turned back to the pediatrician. “Why are you working the ER tonight?”
“They needed the extra hands. A school flooded this afternoon and we were busy, so I stuck around. I didn’t know you and Dr. Frost are friends.”
“We’re not. I was the one who brought his friends.”
“It’s just so sad.”
He nodded as all the events of the day started to really hit him. Closing his eyes, he rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to ease the headache creeping into his skull.
“And there he goes,” Dr. Sanders murmured.
Jude turned in time to see Snow striding angrily from the hospital. Coatless. He started to follow then decided to grab his coat for him. When he arrived at Ian’s room, the young man was still asleep. He had another man watching over him—one with long black hair tied back off his face. He looked vaguely familiar from the newspapers. Dark eyes lifted to pin Jude for a second before he nodded. Jude grabbed the doctor’s coat and hurried back out.
Shatter (Unbreakable Bonds Series Book 2) Page 5