by R. A. Rock
Tessa held up her hand, stopping him. Finn wanted to apologize so badly that he could taste it, but he stopped speaking.
“No, I know what you’re going to say. And I can’t let you. You don’t have to forgive me, Finn.” She curled her hand into a fist and pulled it away from him.
And when he looked at her, he felt no more anger or betrayal but only peace and stillness inside.
“You don’t give forgiveness for the other person. You give it for yourself. Another one of my grandmother’s wise sayings.”
“But you can’t,” Tessa said. “You just can’t.”
“Too late,” he said, scooting over so that their thighs touched.
“Too late?” she repeated, confused. “For what?”
“You can’t tell me not to forgive you.”
“Why not?” she asked in such a small voice that he never could have imagined would come out of such a fierce fighter.
“First of all, it’s not your call.”
“And second?” she asked, staring up at him.
“You can’t tell me not to forgive you because I already have,” he said, bending down and pressing his lips to hers.
Finn pulled away from Tessa and sat back, moving a little farther away from her again. She had the tips of her fingers on her lips and a dazed expression on her face that made him smile. He was glad that she was as affected by his kisses as he was by hers.
Finn tried to get the conversation, which he had so successfully derailed, back on track. “The question, I suppose, is whether you can forgive yourself for the things that you’ve done.”
“I’ve done some terrible things,” Tessa said, her voice a little stronger. “But you have to understand, I’ve been doing this for hundreds of years. Sometimes, I almost forget that I ever had a life where I wasn’t pretending to be something I was not.”
“I can’t imagine it,” he said.
“Are we really going to try this?” she asked, biting her lip.
“We are, Tess,” he said. “I don’t want to spend another day like yesterday.”
She nodded.
“So what now?”
“Now, we should get to making the plan.”
“What plan?” Tessa asked, tilting her head like an inquisitive bird.
“The plan to get the Scroll,” Finn said, not sure if she was kidding or not. “What other plan would we be making?”
“What do you mean, Finn?” Tessa asked, her face disappointed. “That’s all over. The Keeper’s dead, and no one knows how to find the Scroll anymore.”
Finn shook his head.
“What are you talking about?” Tessa demanded. “Did the Keeper not really die?”
“Of course he’s dead.”
“Then no one can find the Scroll.”
Finn grinned. “You really don’t realize, do you?”
“Realize what?”
“Tessa, you know where to find the Scroll.”
“I do not,” she said, giving him a look of complete bewilderment.
“I've been thinking about this and trying to figure out what the Keeper did.”
“And?”
“I think he poured all his Starlight into you.”
“So...”
Finn reached along her shoulder and pulled on the gold chain that hung around her neck so that it came out of her shirt
Tessa took the golden amulet, studying it.
“So, I believe he made you the Keeper of the Scroll when he gave you all his Starlight and gave you the amulet.”
“You think I'm the Keeper? But I feel like me. I don’t know where to find the Scroll.”
“Maybe his memories are kept separate from yours by a spell,” Finn guessed. “You might go crazy if you had thousands of years of memories dumped into your brain all at once.”
“That’s true,” Tessa said, her eyes wide. “But if the memories are there, then if I could just figure out how to access them, I could find the Scroll. And end the Severance.”
“That’s right, Tess,” Finn said, a grin on his handsome face. “We still have a chance to finish what we started.”
Chapter 35
Tess woke up the next morning in the gazebo, curled up next to Finn with his cloak over the both of them. She stared for a long time at the ceiling. It was still eternal Twilight on the island, but her stomach knew it was morning. She would need some breakfast. Soon.
Tess lay there, perfectly still so she wouldn’t disturb Finn.
She gave a tiny smile.
Nothing had changed
And yet, everything had changed.
Tessa felt stunned by what she had learned the previous night.
How could I be the Keeper of the Scroll?
It was mind blowing.
Though, she could never have imagined that this would be how she would get the Scroll and be the one to end the Severance, she supposed that becoming the Keeper certainly gave her access to it, anyway.
Finn stirred and turned toward her. He kissed her forehead.
“I can hear you thinking,” he said, tucking a curl behind her ear.
“It’s about finding the Scroll,” Tessa said. “How do I find his memories?”
Finn thought for a moment.
“Well, how do you access any magical object or spell?” he asked. “By willing it.”
Tessa shrugged. It seemed too easy, but she would give it a try. She closed her eyes and intended for the memories to come to her.
Nothing.
Tessa opened her eyes and shook her head.
“Maybe we’re making this too difficult,” Finn said. “You have the Keeper’s memories inside you. What do you do when you try to remember something? Do that.”
Tessa stared into space, trying to remember.
Nothing.
“Finn, this isn’t working.”
“How about this,” he said. “I’ll just ask you about where the scroll is, and you just tell me.”
Tessa rolled her eyes but waited patiently for Finn to ask the question.
“Hey, Tess?”
“Yes, Finn,” she said, laughing a little at the ridiculousness of this attempt.
“You remember that Scroll you hid? The Scroll of Severance?”
“I do remember that Scroll, Finn.”
“Right, right,” he said, looking as though he were trying hard to keep a straight face. “Well, do you remember where you stashed it? I kind of need it.”
“Hm,” Tessa said, playing along. “Now let me think. Where did I put that?”
She closed her eyes, letting her mind drift, wishing desperately for the information to come to her. After a minute, her eyes popped open.
“It’s not working. The memories aren’t going to be of any use if I can’t get to them.”
“Look, we just have to figure out how to get to them. And we will.”
He kissed her and they both sat up.
“I’m starving,” Tess said. “Let’s get off this island and find some food.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Finn said.
“Tess,” Finn said as they climbed a steep hill together. It was midmorning, and Tessa’s stomach was full of berries they had found in the woods. Not the best meal but better than one eaten in a Faerie jail, which was where they would be eating if they didn’t avoid the villages. They had already seen two Wanted posters with their faces on them. The King worked quickly. “I just thought of something. What about the Hundred Years Ball?”
Tessa stopped dead. She turned toward Finn. “It’s in a week.”
He nodded.
“And all Fae must attend. The magic will make us.” Tessa stared up at the cloudy sky, breathing in the fresh smell of the rain-drenched forest.
“Every Fae in the land will be there, including—” Finn paused, and Tessa finished his sentence for him.
“The King and the Dark Queen.”
They stared at each other.
“Shadows take me,” Tessa said, clasping the amulet in her hand
as if it might give her some comfort. “What will we do?”
Finn got a determined look on his face.
“I don’t know, Tessa. But one problem at a time. You need to access those memories so that we can find the Scroll. Maybe this could all be over before the Hundred Years Ball even starts, and we would never need to attend it ever again.”
They were silent at that thought, and Tessa turned and began climbing the hill again, still holding the amulet in her left hand.
“What if you could use the amulet to help you remember?” Finn suggested.
So Tessa worked on it for most of the morning as they walked. She tried everything she could think to activate the magic. She used the focus and concentration exercises that she had picked up when she was learning to fight. She tried the most ridiculous things she could think of.
Nothing.
“Maybe we need some help,” Tessa said, late in the day. “We’re close to the Chasm.” She thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. “I know who we can ask. It’s only a couple hours from here. Or I could make a portal?"
“Tess, remember we need to avoid using the blades except in emergencies.” Finn frowned. “Magic exacts a price, and it could seriously shorten your life if you use them too much.”
“Fine. Fine. We’ll walk.”
“And you’re sure you can trust this person?” Finn asked.
“Yes. I’m sure.”
“If you’re sure?”
“I really am, Finn.”
“Fine, but remember, the King and Dark Queen will have everyone in the land hunting for us. We need to stay in the shadows.”
“A castle,” Finn said, staring up at the beautiful glass structure that had been built on a gorgeous hilltop. “This doesn’t seem like staying in the shadows, Tess.”
“You’re going to have to trust me,” she said, meeting his eyes. “Do you?”
There was the sound of horses inside the keep.
“I do, Tess. I understand now, and that makes a lot of difference. I just wish you would have told me sooner.”
"Me too," she said, giving him a tentative smile.
"So, are we going in or what?” he said.
Tessa smiled and pulled him by the hand toward the small door beside the larger gate. “We're going in. Come on. I can’t wait.”
She tugged him through the small door and entered the castle. She kept to the servant's hallways and avoided being spotted by anyone. She was a good spy. He could see that.
“Where are we, Tess?” he asked as they ducked down another beautiful wide stone corridor.
“This is my aunt’s castle. I spent most of the summers of my childhood here. I’m almost as close with her as with my own mother. I know she’ll help me.”
Finally, they came to a door that Tessa knocked on and then opened without waiting to be asked in. The room was opulently furnished in burgundy with white accents. A woman stood up quickly, startled. She looked remarkably like Tessa, just about twenty years older and blonde. The woman still had a good figure, and only a few wrinkles marred her lovely face.
“Tessa?” she asked, an amazed look on her face. “Is it you, Tess?”
“It is, Aunt Tarina,” Tessa said, a wide smile on her face. Finn had never seen her look so open and happy.
“We hadn’t heard any news of you in years,” Tessa’s Aunt said. “I wondered if you had gotten yourself killed in that horrendous Dark Court.” Hurt flashed across her features. Then she glanced over at Finn, and her nose wrinkled in distaste. “Oh, is this one of them?”
Tessa’s brilliant smile faltered a little. “The Fae of the Dark Court aren’t all like the queen, Aunt. This is Finn. He’s my,” she hesitated a second, “friend. He’s had my back more times than I can count. He’s a good man.”
Tessa’s Aunt didn’t seem convinced.
“May the Stars light your way, m’lady,” Finn murmured respectfully.
“Right, sure, and also yours, Finn,” she said, but she didn’t appear to mean her words, and she didn’t extend her forearm in greeting. Tessa’s lips tightened at the slight, but Finn just smiled. He didn’t care what this snooty woman thought of him.
“Aunt, I need your help,” Tessa said. “It’s a long story, but I have someone else’s memories inside me within their Starlight. And I’m having trouble accessing them.”
“Someone else’s Starlight? You’ve taken someone else’s Starlight?” Tessa’s aunt scowled. “That’s dreadful, Tess.”
“No, no, it’s not like that,” Tessa said, her eyes wide. She stepped forward and took her aunt’s hands, explaining fervently. “He gave it to me willingly. I can’t tell you everything, but it’s very important that I access the memories. They contain the information that will lead me to an extremely valuable magical object that I must get. For the King. For all of us. Surely, you understand?”
“Really, Tessa, what you’re telling me is… a little troubling. I know that you’ve been in the Dark Court for a long time and maybe… well, what if you’ve been affected by them?”
Tessa drew in a deep breath. “Look, Tarina. I know there are certain prejudices that the Light Court has against the Dark Court, but you must understand that though some of Ransetta’s closest court are evil, most of the Fae in the Unseelie lands are just like us here.”
“Fine,” the woman said, clearly unconvinced. “What do you want me to do, Tess?”
“I need your help. To access the memories.”
“Hm.” Her aunt got to her feet and went through one of the doors. Tessa went after her, and Finn followed Tessa.
They entered a small room in which every wall was covered with small silver hooks. On the hooks were a myriad of amulets and magical charms. There were shelves along the lower part of the walls with jars containing potions. One shelf was all boxes lined with black velvet that had jewels and stones of all colors embedded in them. Another shelf was covered in blue satin and had rings laid out in orderly rows. In one corner, there were scepters leaning, each with a different shining jewel on top. And on a desk there were row after row of tiny bottles and vials filled with different-colored liquids—potions, no doubt.
The room fairly vibrated with magic.
Tessa stopped just inside the door, and Finn bumped into her.
“What’s all this?” breathed Finn into her ear.
“This is my aunt’s magical object room,” Tessa said. “She curates stones, rings, scepters, potions, amulets, anything of a magical nature that the King and the Light Court might need.” She stepped farther into the room. “What do you think, Aunt? Have you got something that can help me?”
Tessa’s aunt nodded, reaching for a potion. It was in a small purple bottle. She carefully took it off the shelf and brought it to the wooden work counter that stood in one corner. With slow, meticulous movements, Tessa’s aunt removed the cork, setting it to the side with care.
Then she took a purple jewel from one of the velvet boxes and selected a silver ring with no jewel in the setting. She sat down at the tall stool next to the counter and set the purple jewel into the setting. Then, using a golden tool, she closed it around the ring and the jewel, and when she took it out, the jewel fit the setting perfectly.
“Drink this first,” she said with a kind smile. “Then I’ll give you the ring, and we can have some lunch.”
A potion? Finn didn’t like the look of this at all. “Are you sure, Tess?” he asked.
She nodded, smiling happily. “My aunt practically raised me, Finn,” Tessa said, giving her aunt a sweet smile and obediently downing the herb-scented liquid.
“Now, put this on,” the older woman said, and Tessa did. The ring resized itself around her finger as it touched her. By the time she had slid it all the way on, it fit perfectly.
At once, her face brightened, and she turned toward Finn.
“The Spring of Reminiscence,” she told Finn. “That’s where it is. I remember… so to speak. Thank you, Aunt.”
She beamed a
t her aunt and then turned to say something else to Finn.
At that moment, Tessa’s eyes rolled back in her head, and she collapsed to the floor.
Chapter 36
“Chasm and Shadows,” Finn exclaimed, rushing to Tessa’s side and lifting her head into his lap. “What happened to her?”
Tessa’s aunt had grimaced in pain as she watched her niece crumple before her on the floor of her little magic shop of horrors. In spite of seeming to be upset about her collapse, she didn’t move to help her. She glanced toward the ceiling in one corner, as if someone might be watching. But Finn didn’t have time to decipher the woman’s motives and behavior. Something was wrong with Tessa.
“Why are you just standing there?” he asked, putting his ear down to listen for her breathing. He felt warmth on his cheek and relaxed a little. “Something’s wrong.”
He glared at Tessa’s aunt, who was doing nothing while Tessa went unconscious. Then he realized that the woman had an undoubtedly guilty expression on her face and a wickedly sharp, jeweled dagger in her hand that she was holding toward him, arm straight.
“Guess we won’t be having lunch,” she said with a little shrug.
“What did you do to her?” Finn demanded.
“There’s nothing wrong with her,” she said, rolling her eyes as if Finn was stupid for being worried. “The King warned me that Tessa might come to me for help.”
“You betrayed her,” Finn said, furious. “What kind of aunt are you?”
“Don’t you dare insult me, you Dark Court spawn,” she hissed the words at him. “I don’t know what you do in Ransetta’s court, but a Light Court Fae doesn’t disobey a direct order from the King.”
“She trusted you, and you betrayed that trust,” Finn pointed out, feeling outraged. “So, who’s the Dark Fae here?”
“It’s not that simple,” the woman said, clearly disgusted with his mere presence. “I am loyal to the King.”
She bent closer, turning her back to the corner of the room where she had glanced before. Her expression changed to earnest—as if she wanted him to believe her.
“I can’t just go against him to save my niece,” she said, her tone insistent.