“I’m good.” I continued to my locker and stopped to open it. I threw my books inside while R.J. and Joyce waited for me.
“Can I talk to you for a minute outside?” R.J. asked, taking me by the hand. I looked at Joyce and nodded for her to go on to the lunchroom without me.
Once we were outside in the warm sunlight, we walked to a grassy area and sat down on one of the iron benches close to one another. Many students passed by us, but we didn’t pay any attention to them. R.J. stretched one arm across the back of the bench, leaned in closer to me, and asked, “I was wondering if you would like to be my girl?”
My heart raced with excitement. I really wasn’t expecting that. It felt like I was daydreaming. I blinked several times, then looked around to make sure this whole scenario was real. I wanted to pinch myself to see if I was truly awake or simply lost in another daydream. If I didn’t know any better, I would have sworn that I was on an episode of “Candid Camera,” the popular hidden camera television series my family usually watched on Sunday evenings. Is this true? The best-looking boy at school is asking me to be his girl. What does this mean?
“So what do you have to say about that, Reecy cup?”
“I—I don’t know what to say, R.J. What does that mean?” I was holding my hands in my lap. I started rubbing them together, hoping to absorb some of the moisture from my palms.
“It means you’ll be my lady, and we get to do what most couples do. You know what I mean,” he said, winking his right eye.
My heart began racing faster than I could think. I was stunned. It seemed that my favorite dream and worst nightmare were happening at the same time. As much as I wanted a cute boyfriend, I didn’t want a sexual relationship. But do they have to be the same thing? What am I going to do?
“No, I’m not sure what you mean, so why don’t you explain it?” I asked calmly, trying to hide my nervousness.
R.J. straightened his back and looked around to see if anyone was nearby. He leaned over again and whispered in my ear, “Okay, let me break it down for you. It means we get to continue what we started the other night when we were outside at the party. You know, before you pushed me away.”
I gasped. That was the frightening part. The part I didn’t think I would be able to handle. I crossed my legs to keep from jumping out of the seat. His kisses were nice, but I wasn’t ready to go any further.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. “Haven’t you ever done it before?”
I shook my head while I struggled with pronouncing the word no as I stared into his disbelieving eyes.
“Ah, man, don’t tell me you’re a virgin,” he cried, snatching his arm down. R.J. rubbed his eyes and then looked at me again. I still had that scared look on my face, because I didn’t know what to say next.
R.J. did the soul brother handshake with a couple of guys who stopped to speak to him. Then, he returned his attention to me. I was fidgeting in my seat like a five-year-old on her first day in kindergarten.
“You know what, forget this. I ain’t got time to fool with nobody trying to be a good girl. I thought you and Joyce were from the same mold,” he said, standing.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I stood with him and raised one hand to block out the sun as I stared up at him.
“I know Joyce is not a virgin, so it never dawned on me you’d be one since you two are supposed to be best friends. How’d that happen?”
I didn’t like the condescending tone of R.J.’s voice, so I was fuming internally. Still, I managed to reply intelligently. “For one thing, I’m not Joyce, so I don’t see why you would assume anything about me. And another thing…”
“Well, the way you came on to me the first day we met—smiling like you were ready to give it up, I thought you wanted to get down. Anyway, I got to go.”
“Wait a minute,” I demanded, grabbing his shirttail. “What are you saying? You don’t want me to be your girl now?”
R.J. guffawed. “We can still rap, you know, but unless you’re willing to go all the way, I’ve got to move on to the next chick at this country school. So, what’s it gon’ be like?”
I sniffed; the sudden foul smell of R.J.’s breath was making me sick to the stomach. It was hard to imagine how I had ever kissed those lips and thought they were sweet. If he thought I was that kind of fast girl, then I had a few more words for the city player.
“Go to Hell, you punk,” I said, squaring my shoulders. I fought back the urge to spit directly between his two beady eyes. One thing my two brothers had taught me was how to stand up for right and not allow anyone to disrespect me as a lady. If he wanted to treat me like a piece of meat, I would slice him like a loaf of bread.
“I got your punk,” R.J. replied, clenching and unclenching his fist. “You’re going to regret saying that to me, little girl. I promise you that,” he whispered, turning away.
I remained standing in that one spot as R.J. strutted away from the bench and blended in with the crowd of students entering the main building. He couldn’t have hurt me any more if he had snatched my heart out of my chest and asked every student in the schoolyard to tromp on it. I never would have imagined things would turn out this way with R.J. My unbelievable daydream had just turned into a believable nightmare, and I didn’t need anyone to pinch me this time to make sure it was real. The stinging pain in my heart was evidence of that.
I sat back down for a second to compose myself. When I stood again, I straightened out my floral top and willed my feet to move. I can’t believe I’ve lost R.J. I’m going to be the laughingstock of the campus.
I returned to the cafeteria, dragging my feet as if I had lead in both tennis shoes, looking like a little lost puppy with no idea how to find its way home. If I could have pulled a disappearing act, I would have descended in a cloud of smoke never to be seen at Bell High School again. Not even my favorite, triple-scoop rainbow sundae would make me feel better today even if I had two of them staring me in the face with chocolate syrup dripping over the side.
“Hey, girl, you better go get you something to eat. It’s almost time for the cafeteria to close.” Joyce pointed to the short line across the room. Jamming the last bite of hamburger in her mouth, she smiled at me.
“That’s okay, because I’m not hungry. I wish the day was over so I could just go home.”
“What in tarnation are you talking about? We’ve got at least three more hours before school is dismissed. What happened between you and R.J. out there?”
I smoothed a hand down my face, blinked several times, and hoped the tears threatening to form in my eyes wouldn’t fall down my cheeks. I swallowed hard and waited for my raging emotions to settle down.
Taking a deep breath, I slowly released it while keeping my eyes focused on Joyce’s penetrating stare. “You’re not going to believe this,” I began, sitting down. “R.J. just walked out on me.”
“What are you saying?”
“He dropped me like a hot potato after I told him we couldn’t, you know,” I replied, jerking my head to the side a couple of times.
“Girl, what are you talking about?”
“I told him I was a virgin, and he told me that he didn’t have time for me unless I was willing to give it up. So that’s it. We’re done,” I explained, flapping her hands on the table in frustration.
“Why didn’t you just play along with him for a little while?” Joyce asked, gasping a box of chocolate milk.
“I couldn’t play that game,” I replied, at the sound of the bell ending our lunch period. Clutching my growling stomach, I already regretted skipping lunch for more reasons than one.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“Okay, class, let’s settle down,” Ms. Walker said, standing behind her desk wearing a solid tunic over a pair of bell bottom jeans. She had traded in her super big natural for an extra-large afro puff. “Today is Wednesday, and our foreign exchange students will be arriving on Monday. Reecy, have you prepared your welcome?”
“No
, ma’am, it’s not ready yet,” I replied, dropping my head. I felt ashamed, because the reality was that I hadn’t even started working on the speech. Last night, I had meant to write something down, but after the confrontation with R.J. yesterday, I had done more crying than writing in my bed. Then, when he totally ignored me on the school bus this morning, my heart was crushed beyond repair. I couldn’t find the words to speak from my heart, let alone write a welcome speech for foreigners coming to our school for an extended visit.
I twiddled with the short pencil in my left hand. Looking down at my outward appearance, I thought maybe I had dressed in the dark this morning. My blouse and skirt were mismatched, and the yellow shoes didn’t match anything. I might as well have tattooed a picture of a broken heart on my forehead for everyone in the class to laugh at.
“Is there anything I can do to assist you, Ms. Walker?” Leslie Harper asked, raising her hand. She was sitting in an unusual place, the row in front of me. Usually, she sat several chairs behind me.
“That’s all right. I have every confidence that Reecy will be ready and make us proud. She has plenty of time to work on her presentation,” Ms. Walker responded, clasping her palms together. Glancing behind Leslie, she made eye contact with me and sent me a reassuring smile. Thank God for Ms. Walker.
I closed my eyes and prayed that I would be able to come up with enough coherent words to not make a fool of myself in front of the mayor, but most importantly, my mama. I’ll come up with something before Monday arrives.
Turning her head to the side, Leslie covered her mouth with one hand, and whispered loud enough for me to hear her say, “Teacher’s pet.”
Rolling my eyes, I promised myself that I would start working on that speech right away. The last thing I wanted to do was disappoint Ms. Walker after she’d shown so much faith in my ability to represent the high school well. I couldn’t let Leslie Harper take my spot.
I glanced over at Joyce and caught her reading a note she’d been passed from a male student sitting behind her. From the grimace on her face, I guessed it was bad news. In the background, I heard several students whispering as well as snickering. Ms. Walker was about to reprimand them for their behavior when another teacher knocked on the door and peeked her head inside. “Ms. Walker, can you step out here for just a moment, please?” Ms. Turner, the school’s administrative assistant, asked.
“Sure, no problem,” Ms. Walker responded, rising. “Class, open your books to page 244 and begin reading. I’ll be on the other side of the door, so don’t even think about talking while I’m gone.” She marched towards the cracked door with her head held high like a seasoned model walking the runway.
Joyce gasped, then crumpled the note she’d just read. I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. “Let me see,” I whispered.
Shaking her head, Joyce sighed heavily and smacked her glistening lips. “Believe me, you don’t want to see this. It’s something mean and nasty about you. Don’t waste your time.”
I stuck out my hand and demanded that Joyce pass me the wrinkled paper. “If it’s about me, I need to see it.”
My heart skipped a double beat the second the note touched my palm. I was completely unprepared for the contents of the message. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that someone would write such filth about me and be passing it around a classroom for other decent people to read. What would my family think of me if they saw this? Who wrote this lie?
That’s when I heard a small voice in front of me giggling. I looked up into Leslie’s sinister face grinning at me. Now I knew why my arch nemesis was sitting in front of me today instead of her usual seat in the rear. I knew I was going to be the laughingstock of the school, but I had no idea it would come to this.
With the pounding in my head matching the pounding in my young heart, I found it difficult to breath. I felt the four walls would come crashing down on my body any minute, and I had to get out of the room before I was smothered to death from the debris. What sick person wrote this garbage?
Bounding from my chair with the note clenched in one hand, I rushed toward the cracked door which seemed to be inching farther away from me with each step instead of moving closer. One boy had the audacity to say, “I didn’t know she was a slut.” I covered my ears, blocking out the nasty giggling that followed as I increased my pace.
With my head down, I almost knocked over Ms. Walker and Ms. Turner standing outside the doorway conversing. “What’s going on?” Ms. Walker asked, startled at the site of me rushing past her. “Reecy, are you okay?”
“She’s not feeling well. We’ll be right back,” Joyce explained, trotting behind me.
I burst through the girls’ bathroom doorway like an erupting volcano. I was filled with emotions that I couldn’t describe, because I had never felt them before. Being angry was one thing, but this was something completely foreign to me. This was anger to the tenth power.
My brain was spinning faster than a spinning top toy. My legs were beginning to feel weak. I needed to sit down or I would be laid out in the middle of the floor any second.
Making my way to the first bathroom stall, I sat down on the toilet seat holding my head in one hand and the crumpled note in the other one.
My once perfect life was falling apart right before my teary eyes. After straightening out the paper in my hand, I read the scribbled message silently to myself again. Reecy Jones is a hoe who banged the new guy outside at the party Saturday night.
Trembling with rage, I couldn’t hold back the tears that magically appeared. This was the type of thing I had worked my whole life to avoid. I had never wanted to be known as one of the loose or fast girls at school. Now my reputation would be ruined forever because once something like this happened, no one would ever forget it or let me forget it, either. It didn’t matter if it was true or not.
Joyce held the stall door open, and said, “Girl, calm down, nobody is going to believe this mess. You know it’s not true.”
Through the pain and tears, I recalled my grandmother’s wisdom, and replied, “No one cares about the truth when a lie is easier to believe.”
“I wish I could get my hands on whoever is behind this,” Joyce said through clenched teeth. “I bet it was that evil Leslie Harper.”
“She didn’t write it, because she was sitting right in front of us.”
“I don’t care. I bet you any amount of bread that dirty rotten hussy was behind it. That’s why she was sitting in front of us today just so she could see the action unfold.”
“Yeah, that’s true. She’s never sat in that seat before. Anyway, it really doesn’t matter. R.J. is behind this regardless of how you look at it,” I whispered, rolling a wad of toilet paper around one hand. I wiped my eyes, blew my nose, and stood up. I ripped up the wrinkled note, tossed it in the toilet and watched it disappear. Too bad my pain won’t disappear that easily.
“He said I was going to regret calling him a punk.”
Joyce released a sigh, and said, “You’re probably right. He was pretty uptight after that happened. You know how guys are. They can’t take being turned down.”
“And with his good looks, he’s used to girls throwing themselves at him.”
“You ain’t never lied,” Joyce confirmed, grinning. “He’s my cousin, but he’s a city slicker. I’ll talk to him when I get home today and see what he has to say for himself.”
“Thanks, Joyce. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“It doesn’t matter. You were there for me last year when everybody was talking about me and calling me names, because I’d contracted a VD. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t stood up for me against that nasty Rodney Payne. You were ready to punch his eyes out. Remember that?”
“Yeah, how could I ever forget? When I saw that fool spit in your face after you told him he was the one who gave you that VD, I was mad enough to kick him in the nuts if he’d taken another step toward me.”
“I
s everything okay in here?” Ms. Walker asked, bustling through the door. She surveyed each of us from head to toe.
Both of us nodded in agreement that we were fine.
“All right, then. The bell is about to sound, so I suggest you two come back to class right now so you can at least get your homework assignment.”
“Yes, ma’am,” we said in unison.
I returned to the room with my head held high, because I was determined not to let anyone dampen my spirits any more. I tried not to look directly at Leslie, but from the corner of my eye, I saw the smirk on her demon face. I wish I could slap that stupid look off her. I’ve never gotten into a fight at school, but this is one time I could do battle with the devil himself.
Everywhere I ventured on the school grounds for the remainder of the day, students seemed to be whispering and giggling right in my face. My intestines were agitated to the point of feeling like they were inside an old-fashioned butter churn, but I tried my best to remain stoic and carried on pretty close to usual during each class session. Only my closest friend could see the turmoil behind the strong façade I presented to the rest of the world.
Sitting in the final class, I appeared to be following along with someone reading the lesson while I clenched and unclenched my fists several times. As hard as I fought it, the negative thoughts of my recent crush kept parading through my mind. If I see R.J. on that school bus, it’s all over for him. He better stay out of my way.
Finally, after the last bell rung, I stumbled into the nearest girls’ bathroom with Joyce right on my heels again. Thankfully, she had been better to me than my own shadow had been today. Joyce had glowered at anyone brave enough to act like they wanted to enter my personal space without my permission.
“I’m so glad the day is finally over. I can’t believe this is happening to me!” I stared at herself in the mirror as though I was looking at a stranger.
Bell Bottom High: Book 3: Junior Jewels Page 6