Ashni finished her food. She went back to bed. Adira sat in the corner, guarding her until Ashni fell into her usual fitful sleep.
***
Nakia wailed the whole time she was with Samar and didn’t stop when Samar was done trying to heal her. The demon spawn inside her had died. Her baby had died. When Jay had hit her, it had traumatized her body so hard, she miscarried.
She was both broken and relieved. She didn’t want that baby and still, it was part of her and now it was gone. She had worked so hard to outmaneuver the brothers, and it all came crashing down in the end. Yes, she saved Layla’s people, but she lost Ashni’s kingdom and dream. At least she was free of Asad’s poison inside of her.
She was fractured, and the pieces were coming back together in pure agony, like each piece had to cut the one it fit with. She curled into a ball on the bed, falling into herself.
“We can’t leave her,” Saniyah said, but her voice sounded far away.
“We have to take her to Ashni,” Layla replied.
Nakia should object, yet she wanted Ashni. She wanted Ashni’s arms around her, her sweet kisses and reassuring words. I need to feel whole again. Ashni would make her feel like herself or at least keep her safe until she did.
Nakia wasn’t sure who moved her, but she knew immediately when she was with Ashni. The familiar scent of berries and honey surrounded her. Whimpering, she curled into Ashni. Arms wrapped around her, and it was like warm water poured over her. She felt better and burst into tears once more.
“Kitten, what’s wrong?” Ashni asked, her voice low and gruff.
Nakia didn’t answer. Couldn’t. Ashni pulled her close. Nakia wanted to share skin with Ashni, if only to feel secure and untouchable. She wanted to rebuild herself with Ashni’s care, but how could she ask anything of Ashni after all of this?
“Talk to me, my love. Who hurt you?” Ashni asked.
“I’m not hurt!” That was both a lie and the truth. Everything hurt, yet somehow her soul felt eased as well. There was so much anguish but hope as well. She had part of herself back and it was bizarre that a piece of her had to die for that to happen. It just hadn’t felt like a piece of her.
“My dear hellcat, you’re bawling.”
“Because I’m happy! I could be like Saniyah and still carrying that demon.” It was out of her. It was out of her body. It was Asad and it was gone, so she could recover who she was. She could heal from some of the damage.
Ashni made a strangled noise. “Demon?”
The words flowed without thought, without meaning. “The demon that was inside of me, stealing my energy, my will to live! The baby. It took me and it would’ve taken you.”
“A baby?” Ashni choked out. “You could never lose me or yourself. You’re too strong. Remember, you’re the woman who looked me in the face while you were decorated in chains and told me you should be in charge.”
Nakia shook her head. “No, I was stupid then, as I am stupid now. I wasn’t meant to be in charge. I’m not made for it.”
“That’s not true. You grew into a mighty visionary of a ruler. This city, this region wouldn’t function without you.” Ashni took a deep breath, her voice cracking. “You’re the backbone. The heart and soul. My own closest follow you over me.”
Nakia whimpered, clutching Ashni’s waist, curling tighter into her. “I’ve only led them into pain and suffering. I ruined Adira and Saniyah’s marriage. I ruined us!”
“Never.”
“You would’ve accepted this child, loved her as your own. You would’ve been proud to raise her, but I’m happy she’s dead,” Nakia wailed. Ashni would never love her now, knowing she was happy her child—their child—had perished.
Chapter Fifteen
ASHNI’S CHEST HURT AS though Nakia’s weight crushed her, causing her ribs to stab her in the heart. Everything seemed to have drained out of her and she wasn’t sure how she didn’t flatten out against the bed. Nakia was pregnant? Nakia had a baby, and now that baby was dead?
Her questions weren’t important right now. Not when the love of her life had absolutely fallen apart in her arms. More than that, Nakia had admitted she was happy she lost the baby, yet she was bawling like every bone in her body was broken. Nakia sounded broken. Ashni needed to put her back together.
“Shh,” Ashni said and rocked Nakia. She kissed the top of Nakia’s head. “It’s okay.”
Nakia tugged at her, clutching her with such agonized fervor. “You would’ve loved her no matter what, and I would’ve hated her with all parts of me because I’d always see him!”
Ashni caressed Nakia’s side and kissed the top of her head once more. Nakia didn’t seem to notice. She wept harder, each sound pounding into Ashni, grinding her bones to dust. It was worse than when she first woke up from being poisoned. Who dared trespass against her beloved? The other part of her soul? She’d make him feel Nakia’s pain times ten.
“I’m so happy, but I can’t stop crying. It doesn’t make sense. I won! I won in Tariq. And then they found out and it hurts. I lost everything you worked for but saved so many people and I just feel so awful!” Nakia soaked Ashni’s shirt in tears.
Ashni could hardly keep up. Nakia was happy and felt awful? And what about Tariq? They didn’t have any enemies there. Oh, don’t we? No. That was why everyone was being so damn hush-hush around her. Asad was the one doing this. He had threatened to destroy Layla’s people countless times as a means to control them. Well, it sounded like he had tried again, and Nakia stopped him. Good on her, but Asad wasn’t one to just lie down and accept a loss. He hurt Nakia and Adira.
The second Ashni fell, the door was open for Asad to destroy everything she built. Her family, included. He’ll pay for this.
Nakia had a death grip on her, fingers tearing into her shirt. “I’m so sorry!”
Ashni took a deep breath before she spoke. Every bit of her insides trembled. Her skin sparked and her talent vibrated through her. It took every piece of her self-control to keep from causing a storm over the city. She wanted to throw up. More than that, she wanted to put her hand in Asad’s chest and personally rip his heart out, like he did to everyone she cared about.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Ashni stroked Nakia’s hair.
Nakia cried out as if she had been stabbed in the gut. “I shouldn’t be happy. I shouldn’t!” Now, the sobs sounded almost like laughter. “I shouldn’t be happy, but I am.”
Nakia coughed some as she cried on. Soon, she had worn herself out. She fell asleep in Ashni’s arms.
Ashni looked at Adira, who Nakia probably didn’t know was in the room. Adira’s face was like stone.
“Asad,” Ashni said.
“And Jay,” Adira replied.
“Because they’re rarely far from each other.” Ashni felt an odd calm. Almost like peace. Even as she knew what Adira would likely do. Forgive me, Mom and Dad, but they brought this on themselves. She needed to know exactly what she was punishing them for beyond harming Nakia so thoroughly. “Tell me everything.”
Adira let it go, every single horror. It was clear they had come merely to torture those she loved. They were worse than Amal. At least he wanted her territory. They only wanted to pollute and taint everyone she held dear.
“And Saniyah is…?” Ashni gritted her teeth.
“Jay is mine,” Adira growled.
“I would never deny you.” This was beyond the pale. “After, take what you need from me.” It made so much sense now. Adira had more than a right to hate her, to hurt her, to want her dead. She had failed them spectacularly with her own carelessness. She opened the door for this to happen the moment she was poisoned.
Adira scoffed. “Idiot. I’ve been taking it out on you and that was wrong. It wasn’t your fault. It’s not your fault. Their actions are their own.”
“They did this because of me! They did this because I wasn’t here. You were right.”
“I wasn’t. I was angry.”
Ashni couldn’t accept that. She was supposed to be the leader. She wanted to be great in the eyes of this woman. “They were able to do this because I wasn’t there.”
Adira held up a stern finger. “No. They did this because they’re assholes. I’ve been an asshole abusing you over their actions, behaving just as they would. This isn’t your fault, except they hate that you’re better than they are. You always have been.”
Ashni shook her head, seething. How dare her brothers do this? “How did they pull this off? What made them think I was dead?”
“They have spies in the north and in our military. I looked into it but didn’t get far because Saniyah got attacked. Beyond revenge, why do you think they did this?”
Ashni shook her head. “The throne. Jay wants the throne and he’ll want all the support he can get when the time comes.”
“How does this get Jay the throne?”
“It keeps Asad from challenging him. That’s probably the deal. Asad’s the type of bastard who’d rather burn it all to the ground than concede the fight. Besides, it’d look really good for Jay to have all the support of his brothers when he ascends the throne. So, he makes a trade and supports Asad’s revenge.”
Adira nodded. “That makes sense.”
“They’ve become poison.”
“I’m glad you and the little ones are different.”
Ashni smiled a little. It was nice to have Adira forgive her, although it didn’t stop the burning under her skin. It felt like she was about to split apart. The snakes that were her older brothers bit yet again. Amal had wanted her, and he had hurt children and others. Jay and Asad made this more personal than just taking her city, though. If she didn’t do something about her brothers, she was certain she’d turn to dust and blow away in the breeze, forgotten.
“This wasn’t your fault,” Adira said again.
Ashni shook her head. She was the leader, so it was her fault. She was supposed to take care of this, protect everyone. That’s why Dad spoke to you after all that nonsense. He knew you were going astray. That’s why you needed to see those relationships. You have to remember who has been there for you, who made you the Chosen One. You have responsibilities to these people, not some adventure out in the world. You owe these people. Doing right by her people would put her on the path of greatness.
Ashni glanced down at Nakia, snoring softly in her arms. Nakia needed the sleep. Ashni needed it, too, yet it refused to come. Her mind filled with what she would do to her brothers. No, not her brothers. Her enemies. They never wanted to be family. Well, message finally received.
After some time, Samar and Layla appeared with food and medicine. Nakia awoke to share in both. There was a loud, long silence between all of them. Ashni could see the weariness on their faces. What really caught her attention was Saniyah, tucked in close to Adira. So, unlike the confident woman Ashni had grown to admire. Time to end this crap.
“I’m going to assume they haven’t burned the palace to the ground yet,” Ashni said. Samar and Layla stared at her with wide eyes
“No, they took a break to eat lunch,” Layla replied. Samar glared at her, but Layla didn’t flinch.
“Where are my swords?” Ashni asked, eyes locked on Samar.
Samar arched an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
Nakia’s brow wrinkled. “Swords?”
“Yes. I need to do something. Now.” If she didn’t start being a leader right now, the acidic hole festering inside of her would eat her alive. It was bad enough they had been dealing with Hell while she was asleep, lying in bed, and being fed. No more.
“Ashni!” Nakia clutched her arm.
“I can’t stand by as any more of this happens.” Ashni wasn’t sure about who she was right now, but she wasn’t the type of person who could let anyone hurt everyone she cared about.
Adira stood. “Let’s go.”
“No! She’s not in any shape to fight those animals.” Nakia held Ashni tighter.
“It’s time to put some dogs down. She’s more than ready,” Adira replied.
Her confidence made Ashni want to puff out her chest. Adira’s faith subdued some of the gnawing in her stomach, although it wasn’t nearly enough. Only blood would calm her blood.
Ashni pulled Nakia close and kissed her cheek. “Kitten, knowing how bad they hurt you, all of you, I can’t go on living unless I do something about it as soon as possible. You won the war, even if you don’t think you did. You did better than I ever could but let me have this last fight.”
Nakia looked at her with wide eyes, tears gathering at the corners. “When does it end, though? It’ll just make them come back.”
“They won’t.” Ashni got out of the bed and gave Nakia a soft kiss on her lips. The cycle stopped here. Adira handed her the twin swords, and Ashni turned to her sister. “Layla.”
Layla opened a void, and they were gone. They reappeared in the throne room. Ashni took in the sight. Bodies of servants littered the floor. Blood slicked the once-polished marble. The walls had scorch marks and gore on them. The throne had been burned, flames still licked the pillows and rugs and curtains. Black smoke lingered, an acrid haze in the room.
Ashni shouldered her weapons. “They’re not in here.”
“Well, this is where I last saw them.” Layla looked around.
A gasp caught their attention and they all turned to see a servant peering around a nearby column. His robes had been ripped and blood dribbled from a cut on his neck. “Highness, you’re alive!”
“Never mind that. Where are the fuckers who did this?” Ashni asked.
The servant pointed to the doors. “Tearing through the main garden.”
They wasted no time going there and found Jay and Asad. The garden was in shambles. The smell of smoke choked the air and burned Ashni’s eyes. Trees were toppled and charred, some still burning. Bushes had been set ablaze. Statues bent, broken, pushed in the dirt, and melted in various places. Swords had been taken to things, cutting them away at sharp angles. It would be a long time coming before Nakia and her sisters could have lunch there again.
“Do your tantrums ever stop?” Ashni said loud enough for Jay and Asad to hear her.
Both men paused and turned to the sound of her voice. Their faces pinched. Ashni would have smirked at them, though that seemed too playful for the situation. Nothing about this was a game.
Asad’s upper lip curled. “Ashni? You’re like some bug that won’t go away. How the hell are you here?”
“The same way Tariq and Tiq are still here—Nakia,” Ashni said.
A demented grin overtook Asad’s visage. “Did she tell you how I beat her? She cried for you every time.”
His words pounded every bit of Ashni. The thought of Nakia calling out for her, scratched deep into Ashni’s being. She had been weak and helpless and couldn’t protect Nakia as Nakia protected her. She couldn’t save Nakia from Asad then, and now she’d make sure he never touched her again.
“My princess thwarted you at every turn,” Ashni said, raising her swords.
Asad chuckled. “She’s pregnant with my baby, you know.”
She scoffed. “No, your ape of an older brother took that victory from you. Thank you for that, Jay. So kind of you.”
Asad glowered at Jay. “You hit her in the stomach?”
Jay curled his lip. “Of course I wouldn’t do that. She’s lying. Ashni’s trying to get in your head.”
Ashni rolled her shoulders. “I’m already in your heads. I’ve been there for years. You can’t stand the fact that Dad accepted me, and the people called me Chosen.”
“You’ve always thought too highly of yourself,” Jay said.
“Yet here you are. I understand now. That’s what you really hate,” Ashni replied. It was beyond them wanting what she had or wanting to be her. They couldn’t turn away from her, couldn’t stop thinking about her. It was the insane, sick side of love and admiration. They wanted her to notice. She was their Sun. “You worship
me.”
“Never!” Jay scowled. “Gods would never bow down to some bastard in a sick robe.”
“You’re nothing,” Asad said. “All you have belongs to the Empire, which will eventually belong to us.”
“Then why do you think of me so often? I can’t believe I never saw it until now. You’ll never be me and it kills you.” Ashni shook her head.
“Tell yourself whatever lies you want, Ashni. You don’t have anything. It’s all ours.” Asad motioned between himself and Jay.
Ashni shook her head. “Who’s giving you anything? You’re the one who doesn’t have anything, not even your twin. You’re nothing but a shared form of the fuck up on house arrest. Jay didn’t promise to share anything with you. There’s no reason for him to do that.”
Asad was delusional. The best he could do was make a nuisance of himself when Jay tried to take over and Jay probably already had plans for Asad when the time came for him to ascend the throne, but they wouldn’t make it that far. Ashni raised her swords.
“You dare pull your swords on us?” Jay pointed his massive double-edged straight blade at her. His sword was taller than she was.
“Enough talk.” Adira snarled as she unsheathed her sword.
Jay laughed. “Really? Fine. And when we end you, I’m taking Saniyah with me. She can enjoy a proper marriage befitting a sterling noble whose family is almost on par with mine.”
“No, you stop here.” Adira rushed Jay.
Asad was in Ashni’s face moments after, blade aiming for her face. Ashni put her sword up just in time. The swords clashed together, and Asad blew fire at her. She moved in time to avoid being burned. Heat washed over her cheek, singed the tips of her hair. She might have new burn scars to join the ones Amal left her.
Calling up her talent, she forced Asad back with a heavy wind. He dug his heels in to fight against the gale and tried to breath more fire. Ashni’s wind went right through his flames. The blaze snuffed out. He snarled, sending a wave of fire at her. She cut through it with the Golden Feather. Her blade cleaved the flames in two. He rushed her, but Ashni aimed lightning at his feet.
Blood Rain (Warrior Class Book 3) Page 22