by BJ Mayo
“I do not understand why you call him God. Joao called him Jesus Man, and you say God’s holy word but talk about Jesus.”
“Jackaleena, I think that is enough for one day. You have seen much change in the few hours you have been here at Benguela. Let’s visit again tomorrow. We may be putting Joao in the earth. You will need your rest.”
Margaret touched her warmly on her shoulder and exited the room. Jackaleena looked at the mirror for a long while in her bright red tunic. Tears welled in her eyes, which she could not control. She did not know why she was weeping, but she began to feel better as she cried.
Finally, she lay on the stick bed with blankets on it. It was soft and warm. When she awoke, the sun was above the earth by one finger.
Margaret tapped lightly on her door. Jackaleena brushed aside her sleepiness and approached it shyly. She had never had someone tap on a door. Martha tapped again and said, “Jackaleena, it is Margaret. Please open the door.”
Jackaleena turned the knob and pulled the door open.
“It looks like you have rested well, Jackaleena. We found Joao’s body and brought it here. We are preparing it for burial below the earth.”
“Did you find his head?” Jackaleena inquired. “Yes, but it probably does not look like what you remembered. Come, let us go.”
Slowly they made their way to the back of the walled compound. All of the Milano women were there. Margaret held Jackaleena’s hand as they approached. There were at least one hundred crosses in rows, each painted white with word tracks on them. Jackaleena somehow knew this was the land of the dead and tried to turn away.
“No, Jackaleena, it is all right,” said Margaret. “We come today to honor Joao, not to run away.”
Slowly they walked to the small hole in the earth with a wooden box beside it. There was blood draining between the boards in a couple of spots. When they stopped close to the Milano women, one of them began to speak.
“Dear God. As with all of the children we have buried here, we commit Joao’s body to you. He believed in You and was firmly committed to You. He brought in at least six children here without fear of death, so they would have a better life, and have a chance to come to know You. In fulfilling his purpose in life, he lost his life. In doing so, he gained his life.”
As each sentence was spoken, Margaret bent down and said the words spoken to Jackaleena. Jackaleena’s eyes were wide open with wonder as her mind raced to determine what the words meant. How could Joao have lost his life fulfilling his purpose in life?
The Milano woman said, “Earth to earth, dust to dust.” She reached and grabbed a handful of dirt. She sprinkled it on the wooden box.
Each of the Milano women did the same. Margaret held onto Jackaleena’s hand and walked toward the wooden box. She picked up a handful of dirt, sprinkled it on the wooden box, and walked away. When they were away from the Milano women, Jackaleena asked Margaret, “Why did you and the other woman put dirt on the wooden box with Joao inside?”
They walked a short way to a wooden bench. Margaret sat and motioned Jackaleena to sit beside her.
“When the body is dead, it will eventually turn back to dirt. So, we place the body in a wooden box, if we have wood to make it and put it below the earth. We use the wood pallets off of the shipments to make the box. It is all we have. If we do not have a wooden box, we put the body in the earth because in time, it will turn back to dirt.”
“How do you know this?” said Jackaleena.
Margaret held her hand and said, “Because it is in the Bible. God’s holy word says it, my dear.”
“What did the Milano woman mean when she said in fulfilling his purpose, he lost his life? Why did the soldier boys kill Joao and when are we going to kill them for killing Joao?”
Margaret peered off into the distance, looking at the children play. She turned her gaze back to Jackaleena. Her questions were provocative. She had never seen a child ask questions like this girl. None of the other children who came before her had ever asked questions with such intensity or insight. She silently asked God to help her with the answers.
“Let’s go see what God’s word has to say about your questions.”
They got up, Margaret holding onto Jackaleena’s hand, and made their way back to her room. She asked Jackaleena to bring her the black Bible from the drawer. Jackaleena pulled the drawer open and saw it there. Carefully, she picked it up and handed it to Margaret.
Margaret thumbed through the tracks and finally stopped. “To your first question, I read in Luke 9, verses 23 and 24. Jesus is speaking: ‘(23) Then he said to them all: If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. (24) For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me, will save it.’
“Now, let’s move on to your next question. I have to say, dear, your mind is like a sponge.”
Jackaleena looked at her with great interest. “What is a sponge?”
“It is a creature that comes from the sea where the ships and boats are. Sometimes men in my village went to get them at the bottom of the sea. You can squeeze them in your hand,” closing her fingers together. “This squeezes all of the water out. When you put them back in the water, the sponge pulls the water into itself. You pull it back out of the water, squeeze it, and it will release its water. If you keep doing it, it will empty out a tub, just like you took your first bath in, one moon ago. So, you are like a sponge when it comes to learning about things. You ask me questions, you drop yourself in me, and get the answers to the questions, just like dropping a sponge in water. Understand?”
Jackaleena smiled as she thought what a leopard sponge would look like.
“Now, you asked me how did I know that once someone is dead, they turn back to dust or dirt. Let’s see what the Bible says about that.” She thumbed her way through the tracks for a while. Finally, she found what she was looking for.
As Margaret pondered what she was preparing to read to Jackaleena, she paused and looked at this very bright child, full of wonder, full of questions. She was preparing to tell her that God created man from dust, and so when he died he would return to dust. How can a child absorb such information? she wondered. It is difficult for anyone, regardless of age.
Like Margaret’s great faith, she reasoned that, like her, Jackaleena was free to hear and absorb, retain and possibly reject what she was preparing to read. But she also reasoned that it was all in God’s hands, as she had no specific power, just faith in God that a seed would be planted in this fertile mind.
“Jackaleena, I am reading from the Bible in the book of Genesis, which is when God created this world we live in. He created man, or should I say, the first man and the first woman. They were called Adam and Eve. Genesis 2:7 reads: ‘And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils’”—at this, Margaret pointed to her own nose—“‘and man became a living being.’
“Then in Genesis 3:19, God is speaking to Adam and Eve, and says: ‘In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread. Till you return to the ground. For out of it you were taken: For dust you are, And to dust you shall return.’”
Jackaleena sat speechless, absorbing what she had just heard. After a few moments of thinking, she said, “I want to know why they kill Joao? When are we going to kill them for what they did?”
Margaret knew the question would come again and began looking for the scripture. She said, “Let’s see what God has to say about your questions. Just give me a minute. Your questions are good but require me to really look into the Bible for the answers.”
Margaret’s hands were trembling as she fumbled through the scriptures. She said a silent prayer that God would settle her down and help her find the scripture she had in her mind.
After a while, Margaret cleared her throat and began: “I know what I am going to read to you will be very hard to understand, but here it is. I am reading from Matthew 5:43–45. Jesus is speaking. ‘(43) You have
heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” (44) But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you. Do good to those who hate you and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. (45) That you may be sons of your Father in Heaven: for He makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust.’
“That means that there are good and evil people in this world. God lets the sun come up each morning on them as well as letting it rain where they reside.
“As for killing the boys that killed Joao, I read in Romans 12:19: ‘Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.
“I do not know how you say what you say,” said Jackaleena.
Margaret said, “I know, my dear. But maybe in time it will be easier to understand.” Heaven help her, Margaret thought, as she often did not completely understand the true nature of God.
“I need to leave, dear, and take care of some other things. I will see you tomorrow when the sun comes up. We shall go eat together. Will that be good?”
Jackaleena nodded. “What things do you take care of?” she asked.
“Well, I am trying to figure out how we can help our chicken situation, nothing you should worry about. We need more of them. I am sure God will provide somehow, I just don’t know what that is right now.”
Margaret was ashamed of herself for talking about the chickens in front of Jackaleena, or any other child for that matter. She and the others were their guardians for the time being, and passing on her worry was not appropriate.
“Jackaleena, I am very sorry for talking about the chickens, they are not a worry. Please do not worry about what I said. I will come by in the morning for you. Sleep well, dear. I am going to the chapel to pray.”
After she closed the door, Jackaleena stood and went to the window. She watched Margaret walk away, to what Margaret had called the chapel. It was a small Milano building in the courtyard. Maybe Toto can bring her more chickens, she reasoned.
She looked out the window at the courtyard and watched Margaret disappear inside. Margaret had instructed her not to leave her room for any reason when the sun turned black. All she wanted to see was what Margaret was doing in the chapel.
Quietly, she slipped on her dress and opened the door. She looked around everywhere for a moment, especially at the guards on the wall. They were at each corner of the compound, high on the walls. She made her way around the edge of the courtyard trees, stopping behind each one for a moment. Finally she made her way to the steps of the chapel. Making her way across the porch, careful not to make a noise, she peeked around the doorway and did not see Margaret. She could hear her speaking.
Finally, she saw Margaret kneeling at the front of the chapel at a step. She had her hands clasped together and her head on the step.
Margaret’s words were spoken quietly, but with her excellent hearing she was able to make them out.
“God, I know I am just someone that you have allowed to live and teach at the orphanage. I believe my purpose is to help these children be safe, eat, have clothing, and most of all to come to know you. I am not sure I am very good at this. I am asking you again to help me, if this is my purpose, so I do it well. The only thing I have to offer is myself. I give you what the Bible tells me I should give, as far as money that I earn here. It is not much. You have blessed me with a place to live, with walls, food, and Milanos that taught me about you. I am also praying for more chickens, not just for the eggs but for the meat. The children love to eat the eggs, and every now and then a chicken. I know that is a lot to ask, but it is on my heart and mind.
“I thank you for all you have given to me. I thank you for Jackaleena coming to us. She is a very smart young girl who lost her entire village when the soldier boys killed them. I am not judging, but she is probably one of the smartest girls I have ever come to know. She has many questions, many of them hard for me to answer. Please help me to explain when she asks me questions, because I do not think I have done well so far. Forgive me where I fail you, amen.”
Jackaleena had listened carefully to Margaret’s requests. She thought of the many requests she had made of Toto. None of these had been answered.
As she watched Margaret stand, she saw her reach into her dress and remove a small pouch with a string on it. She untied the string and removed something from the pouch, and put it into a small metal box on the step. Margaret said, “God, please use this money to your benefit. I wish I had more to give.”
With that, she started out of the chapel.
Jackaleena bolted across the steps and hid behind a tree. She held her breath while Margaret made her way down the steps and started toward her living quarters. Jackaleena watched her all the way before turning to go back to her room.
Not knowing exactly what she had just seen, she could not go to sleep thinking about the words Margaret had said to Jesus Man. What is money, and why did she put it into the box? She also heard her ask for more chickens. Would Jesus Man give her the things she asked for? Why was she asking Jesus Man about answering the questions she was asking Margaret?
It was deep into the night before she drifted off to sleep.
* * *
Several days passed with the same daily routine for Margaret and Jackaleena. Margaret would tap on her door every morning when the sun was one finger high. They would hold hands and walk to the place where all the children ate.
The same boys and girls would watch her every day. She did not understand their words.
After they ate their food, Margaret would take her hand and they would walk around the compound. Margaret would describe trees, flowers, birds, plants, and would say the word in what she called English. She said, “If I teach you English, you will be able to read the Bible tracks that are in English. You need to know how to say it and then how to write the tracks like the animals make in the ground. Is that something you want to do?”
Jackaleena nodded. It was scary to try and learn what Margaret was speaking about. The Bible was heavy, with many tracks in it, and it would not be easy to learn the words and make the tracks. She saw nothing in the Bible that looked like a track on the ground like the chickens or a grasshopper. The tracks in the Bible looked different, and some looked alike but in different spots when she looked up and down a page. So, it began.
“Jackaleena, this is going to be your first set of words in English. Are you ready? Let us walk.”
The words rolled off Margaret’s tongue so easily. Jackaleena listened attentively.
“I will say them once again in your language, and then in English.”
Jackaleena laughed at the English and tried to say what she had heard: “Leet oos ewak.”
“That is very close,” said Margaret. “Let us walk. Try it again.”
This time Jackaleena listened intently and tried again. “Let os walk.”
“You are very close, dear. One more time. Let us walk.”
Jackaleena listed carefully to the slight difference in how Margaret said the words. “Let us walk.”
“That is very good, Jackaleena. You have just spoken your first words in English. They mean, me and you taking a walk through the compound,” pointing to Jackaleena and herself. Then she held her fingers up, imitating legs walking. “Let us walk.”
Jackaleena beamed with pride.
“You really have a beautiful smile, Jackaleena. I know you went through a lot before you came to us. Smile your smile every time you think about it. Now, would you like to see how to make the tracks of the words I just taught you?”
They knelt in the dirt, and Margaret took a twig and began writing the tracks in the dirt.
“See the first tracks? Each one is called a letter, from now on. When letters are put together, they make what we call a word. When you say, ‘Let us walk,’ you have spoken a sentence.” She showed here the letters in “let,” “us,” and “walk.” “Now, why don�
��t you try and make the letters just like mine?”
She handed Jackaleena the broken twig. Jackaleena carefully made the letters to look like the letters Margaret had put on the ground.
“Very good. Now please read them to me, starting on this side,” pointing to the left side. Jackaleena pointed to the first letter on the left. Margaret said, “That is called the letter L,” and breathed the word out of her mouth making the luh sound. Jackaleena repeated the sound. “The next letter is E, and in this sentence is said like this: eh,” Margaret said, putting Jakaleena’s hand to her mouth, to feel her breath when she spoke. “The last letter in this word is T. It is said like this.” She put her tongue to the top of her mouth and made the tuh sound.
Jackaleena said, “Luh eh tuh.”
“Very close,” said Margaret. “This time, say them faster, and just say ‘let.’”
Jackaleena shortened the word to “leht.” “Very good, Jackaleena.” She went through the same sequence on the next two words until Jackaleena understood how to say “let us walk” and was able to look at the letters and identify them.
The daily walks and learning started to move at a faster rate than Margaret had ever experienced. She brought Jackaleena a tablet and pencil, so she could write the English words as they walked and looked. She wanted to know how to say everything in English. Margaret would draw a picture in her tablet and spell the word. Jackaleena quickly learned the letters of the English alphabet, and her vocabulary grew rapidly. Her questions were rapid-fire and to the point. She missed no opportunity to expand her vocabulary. “Look, Margaret, there is a blue bird flying in the sky. I am going to write that down.” “Margaret, I like my red dress. I am going to write that down.”
One morning, when Margaret tapped on her door, Jackaleena opened it.
“I do not see your beautiful smile, Jackaleena. Please tell me who robbed you of it.”
Jackaleena looked up with tears in her eyes. She held out her tablet and pencil. “My tablet can take no more words. My pencil is nearly gone.”