“Natasha?” a man questions walking to the end of the bed.
He yanks his black mask off and I see Nick Cooper looking at me in horror. He sweeps the room with his gaze quickly and spots Sully.
“O’Sullivan? Shit. Put down your weapons,” he orders gruffly and the men in the room obey immediately.
Zeus is still growling and attacking Ben as two men try to make him stop.
“O’Sullivan get the dog,” Nick barks, coming to the bedside and leaning into my face.
“Zeus, off,” Sully commands and Zeus begrudgingly halts.
He swings his head to me and looks worse than Sully covered in blood and bits of flesh.
“This one’s gone,” a man near Ben’s body announces.
“Agent Roman Knight?” Nick asks.
“No.”
Nick leans down next to the bed to check Roman and Sully watches his every move. Waiting to hear if he just murdered a man. His fingers interlaced behind his head with his eyes trained on the back of Nick’s head.
“He’s alive.”
As Nick stands up another man comes racing into the room.
Igor.
My level of confusion hits an all time high as he rushes to Roman on the floor and calls out, “Knight!”
“He’s good,” Nick assures the massive bald man.
“Cooper, get me somethin’ to wipe this fuckin’ blood off so I can get Grey,” Sully snarls.
Nick reaches across my paralyzed body and drags the quilt over me, handing it to Sully. Sully scrubs at his skin vigorously before dropping the quilt. Then he’s on me. He lifts my limp body and cradles me to his panting chest.
“She’s completely fuckin’ limp, Cooper. He did somethin’ to her. Fuck, Grey! I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” Sully mutters into my hair.
“Wash the dog off in the tub,” Nick commands as I feel exhaustion and comfort dragging me toward unconsciousness. It could be the drugs taking their toll on my system, but listening to Sully’s heart, I feel safe. He saved me. He always saves me.
O’Sullivan
“I’m not leavin’ her side. So say what you gotta say,” I grunt at Cooper.
Natasha’s sedated while we wait for the drugs in her system to be flushed. She was fighting so hard to try to make her body move that her blood pressure was sky rocketing, a common side effect according to Cooper. The doctors in the emergency room decided it was best to sedate her after they figured out what motherfucking Ben dosed her with.
Blake’s sitting across the bed from me, scowling and raging for his sister. He deserves to hear whatever Cooper’s about to tell me.
“He’s one of us. I can’t give you much more than that. Officially, Vojtech’s dead. Died in the fire. You did a number on him O’Sullivan. I don’t think he’ll be speaking for a while. His jaw’s wired shut. Tonight wasn’t him. Ben Horowitz did this. We’ve got footage from Overland Park Regional. He took her from the parking garage. Roman let Ben take him too. He was tryin’ to save her,” Cooper explains from the end of the bed, shifting his troubled eyes between Blake and me.
“I got the call that an agent had activated a tracker and assembled a team for the grab. I didn’t know, O’Sullivan. I had no idea he was DCA. I’m sorry, man.”
“She said he never hurt her. That’s why. It makes since,” I grumble, cradling Natasha’s hand in mine.
“This job…” Cooper trails off.
He knows. He was undercover for a decade as an enforcer in a crime family. He knows the blackness it requires. I don’t give a shit if Roman whatever his name is didn’t hurt Natasha. I don’t care that he tried to save her. I don’t give one flying fuck about him.
He stole her from me. He crushed her. Her mutilated her soul for this fucking agency.
“So nothing happens to him,” I state as opposed to ask.
Roman won’t pay for he did to Natasha. It was part of his job. That makes him untouchable.
“He’s payin’ a price, O’Sullivan,” Blake whispers.
I look into his sad grey eyes.
“He lost her,” he explains further.
I nod.
“He’ll be moved as soon as we can get it set up. You want me to call the family?” Cooper asks, moving to the doorway.
“Just give her time to wake up and get this shit outta her system. She doesn’t need to be bombarded with all of us as soon as she comes to. You’ve still got Zeus?”
“He’s passed out in my car. We’ll have to wait for dental records to identify Horowitz. Zeus didn’t leave anything.”
“Any idea why he did this?”
“Just piecing shit together at this point. We found fake passports for Horowitz and Natasha, airline tickets to some tiny island in the Pacific, roofies, more of the nerve agent, shovels, duct tape, a Taser, plastic tarps and a shit load of money. We’re still looking into it though. It’ll take some time to get the complete picture,” Cooper finishes with a huff of frustration.
“You did good, O’Sullivan,” he assures me before leaving the room with a sad smile on his face.
“I’m so fuckin’ lost,” Blake groans. “Vojtech’s some super soldier undercover? Her nerdy ex-boyfriend is some hacker wacko? What the fuck?”
“Sounds like you’ve got a good handle on it,” I say through a snort.
He snorts back.
“She’s not comin’ back to stay with you. I was gonna ask her to move in tonight. I need her with me, Blake. I’m not takin’ your sister from you. If you wanna crash at my place, you’re welcome any time. If you wanna move back in, I’m down. I’ll do whatever you need to make you comfortable, but I need her with me. I can’t spend another night like this,” I whisper the finish.
Blake studies me for a while, considering my words. He knows I love his sister. But letting her go like this, it’s a big step. His lips part to respond but it’s not his voice that speaks.
“Okay,” Natasha croaks.
Blake and I dive at her simultaneously, almost banging heads as we land on her shoulders. She lets out an oof and we let off on our pressure.
“Love you, Tosh,” Blake mutters into his sister’s cheek. He sits up after kissing her skin ten times and holds her hand tightly.
“Grey, can you hear me?” I whisper into her ear.
She nods minutely.
“I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much. I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner. I’m sorry,” I sob into her neck.
Here’s the moment where I crumble. She’s safe. I don’t have to hold it together anymore. I sob and sob until her hand squeezes mine and I sit up to look into her stormy greys.
“I’ve got you,” she breathes out.
I wipe my tears away and flash her a broad smile.
We’ve got each other.
“Put it down,” I growl and Natasha rolls her eyes at me.
“It’s been a week, Sully. I’m fine and you’re being ridiculous,” she huffs.
I snag the box from her hands and kiss her crimson lips as I do.
“Stop pickin’ up heavy shit,” I mumble against her mouth.
She scowls at me as I pull away from her.
“What am I supposed to do then?”
“Sit back and enjoy the show, Grey,” I purr, running my hand down my sweaty naked torso while rolling my hips.
Natasha’s jaw drops at my moves. She doesn’t know I was a stripper in law school. A private show is in her near future. She’s shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot, trying to alleviate the ache I’m causing. Fuck yeah.
“Private dances only happen in the champagne room,” Kav grunts as he stacks up more boxes.
His naked chest is a blazing Celtic swirl with our clover at the center. He pops his pecs at Natasha before heaving her shit out of the apartment.
“You’re gonna have to quit staring at my dick if we’re gonna get this done,” I chide her weakly.
“Well stop…doin’…stop movin’…just stop.”
I love it when she gets so flustered she c
an’t speak.
“Go sit down. We’ll be done soon,” I respond sweetly, letting her off the hook.
“I’m not helpless,” she continues to argue.
I drop the box and cup her face in my healing hands.
“I didn’t say that you are. You’re so fuckin’ strong. No one would ever think you’re helpless. But please don’t fight me right now. Not after this last week. Just let me take care of this shit so I can get you home. To our home, where you belong. I’ve got you.”
Then I kiss the ever-loving shit out of her. Her nails dig into my biceps as I tip her head to the side and slide my tongue across hers. She moans into my mouth as I release her face and cup her ass. She’s wearing jogging shorts that allow my hands to easily travel beneath the hem and I get two handfuls of the greatest ass known to man.
I plunder her mouth as my dick strains against the jersey of my shorts, causing a tent ten people could live in. I nibble and suckle her bottom lip and then dive in for more of her. Her tongue tangles with mine as her hands leave my arms and sink into my damp hair, tugging and fisting. Hard nipples rub against me and I growl deep in my chest. It’s time to kick the door shut and pull those pale pink tips into my mouth.
“Ah! My eyes!” Blake screams at the top of his lungs.
Natasha jumps in surprise and rips her mouth away from mine to search for her brother. We both find him leaning against the wall one hand covering his eyes while the other clutches at his six-pack like he’s going to puke.
“I can’t unsee that shit, Tosh,” he grumbles.
I release her ass, reluctantly before adjusting my seriously disappointed dick.
“Knock it off, Blake. It’s not like we were having sex.”
“Unfortunately,” I say under my breath.
Natasha shoots me a look that says shut up so I do. I kiss her forehead, collect the box I dropped and walk over to Blake. I slap his shoulder once and he drops his hand from his eyes.
“Be sure to knock when you visit.”
He gags and starts complaining to Natasha as I saunter out of the room. I know he’s sad that Natasha’s moving out, but he’ll be happy to have the space to himself.
“Hot chick alert,” Cal informs me when I pass him in the living room. “Two of ’em unloading a U-Haul next to ours.
I walk outside to see a familiar ass and legs. This time I can place the person attached to them.
“Liz!” I shout as I descend the stairs.
She jumps and squeals as she spins to face me. Her dark hair is in a messy bun on top of her head and her honey-glazed eyes are scowling in my direction as she shields them from the sun with her hand on her brow.
A strawberry-blonde bob pops out of the back of the U-Haul as Liz asks, “Brian?”
I beam a smile at the two of them and drop the box on the sidewalk as I get to their moving truck.
“No help today?” I ask with a bit of a scowl.
Angie huffs, “My husband, Jeff, and his friends are meeting us here. But this one won’t wait for the muscle.”
“I’m not helpless,” Liz grunts.
I bark out a loud laugh, tipping my head back.
“Sully?” Natasha’s unsure voice calls out from the balcony.
“Come here, Grey.”
She plods down the stairs slowly, staring at Angie with daggers in her grey storms.
“Angie. Liz. This is my girlfriend Natasha,” I introduce, pulling her under my arm. “Angie and Liz were at Flannigan’s the night I had a little scuffle.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Natasha says tightly, extending her hand to both of them.
“Your boyfriend is somethin’ else,” Angie says after shaking Natasha’s rigid hand. “Some prick decided he could hump me while we were shootin’ pool. Brian here taught him a lesson in pub etiquette.”
“I’m glad he could be of assistance.”
Natasha’s pissed off. I’m not sure why, but she’s not happy.
Two cars pull in the parking lot as we stand in tense silence. One of them is Finn and the other I don’t recognize. Both park and men pile out.
“Ang, I told you to wait for us,” a large burly man bellows as he stalks toward Angie.
“Liz wouldn’t wait,” she informs him as he wraps an arm around his wife and drops a kiss on her waiting lips.
“Jeff, this is the guy that started a bar fight for me. Brian, this is my husband Jeff,” Angie introduces and I feel the tension leave Natasha’s body.
“Man, I owe you a beer. A whole fuckin’ case. Thanks for that,” he says grasping my hand firmly in his.
“No thanks necessary. You’ve got a great wife.”
Angie and Liz both beam at me as Finn and Aidan round the front of the girls’ U-Haul.
“Get in gear, O’Sullivan,” Finn chides before kissing Natasha on the cheek.
“Liz?” Aidan questions in an almost fearful voice.
Oh shit.
“Aidan,” she drones emotionlessly. “It was nice to meet you, Natasha. I’ve gotta get unpacking if we’re gonna get done today. Are you movin’ in or out?”
“Out. My brother’s still here though, so I’ll be around,” she responds kindly.
“Hopefully I’ll see you soon then. Nice to see you again, Brian.”
With that she turns on her heel and stalks to the men unloading her boxes.
“Yeah, we better get to it. Seriously, man, if you ever wanna take me up on that drink, here’s my card. I really fuckin’ appreciate what you did for Angie.”
I take his card and bump his fist before he turns his woman away and goes to help Liz. I look up to see Aidan staring at a dude with his hand on Liz’s lower back like he wants to dismember the guy.
“You fucked up,” I say through a laugh.
“Fuck you, O’Sullivan,” he growls before prowling up the stairs.
“What was that about, Grey?” I ask once we’re alone, turning her across my front.
“When you fought that night, the guy you punched asked if Angie was yours. You said yes,” she mutters staring at my chest.
“Grey, I was fightin’. He didn’t need the specifics. I played pool with Liz and Angie tryin’ to distract myself from bein’ nervous about you showin’ up. I didn’t touch her. She’s happily married. I was just doin’ the right thing when that motherfucker got outta line,” I assure her, forcing her eyes to mine with a finger beneath her chin.
“You were waiting for me?” she whispers, her stormy grey swirling with love.
“Been waitin’ my whole life, Grey.”
I’m thankful my wait is over.
Natasha
October
“You’ve got a shit ton of mail,” Kav informs me as I make my way in from the garage.
“It’s nice to see you too, Kav,” I snark.
“If I spend all my time tellin’ you how good it is to see you, I won’t get shit done. Mail’s on the bar. I’m headed to the gym to meet up with the guys. Kid’s nursing Mary-Ann. The boys just went to bed. Did you have a good shift?” he asks, zipping up his hoodie.
“I did. Did you have a good day in court?”
“Slam dunk, Tosh. See you in a few hours,” he murmurs against my hair before kissing the spot.
I move to the bar, set down my bag and start going through the large stack. It’s mostly junk that I set in a pile to recycle. There are a few bills that I hide so Sully can’t try to pay them. He’ll find them and he’ll pay them. That’s what he does.
I slide my finger under the edge of an envelope hand-addressed to me. Here, not forwarded from Blake’s.
I pull out the heavy, expensive feeling paper and unfold it. Then I collapse onto a stool as I read.
Dear Natasha,
Please don’t throw this away without reading it. I know I have no right to ask you for anything, but please find it in you to read this letter.
I’m sorry.
Those two words don’t convey enough of an apology so allow me to explain.
&n
bsp; I did wrong by you. I harmed you for the benefit of my job. I should have cherished you from the moment I found you, but I chose to complete my op instead. That will always be my biggest regret in life. I’m sure you know this already, but I’m an agent in the DCA. I was undercover when Ben Horowitz forced our meeting. My intention was never to keep you or begin a relationship with you. But being undercover meant I had to behave in a certain way once the Bratva discovered Ivan was missing and the money had been stolen.
My life is the DCA. It changes a person when you have to live as someone else for years at a time. When I met you, I was consumed with being Vojtech. So much so, that I had lost all of the good in me. You brought that back. I stole the light that glows from you and used it to bring myself back to life. It was selfish and cruel because I didn’t allow you to keep any for yourself.
You have that glow once again. I saw it beaming from you the moment you laid eyes on Brian O’Sullivan the first night he came to the warehouse. I saw it again when he saved you. And I saw it again before he rightly beat me within an inch of my life. I wanted that light for myself, but it was his.
I was heartbroken when I lost you, Natasha.
I was in love with you.
I shouldn’t have, but I fell for you. You made me want a different life, filled with joy and happiness. Please know that I regret every harmful thing I did to you. I loathe myself for causing you pain and anguish. I won’t ask for your forgiveness because I don’t deserve it. I deserve to live in the prison of my mind, torturing myself. I will continue to do that until my last breath.
I hope you’re happy in your life. I hope that you have everything you deserve. I hope you’re able to love without regret. I hope you’re able to fill your life with family. I hope you’re able to live an untainted life.
Goodbye, Natasha. Not another day of sorrow will find you. I assure you of that.
All my love,
Roman
P.S. I will tell Ivan about the woman that fought for him with everything she had. He’ll always know how much you loved him. Thank you for giving my son that gift.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I finish the letter for the fifth time. I don’t know what to feel in this moment.
Blackness Within (The Blackness Series Book 5) Page 40