But despite his best efforts, the fear that he could never quite push past, had taken root in this new relationship as well. He had no business being with a woman like Jasmine. The girl had grown up with a silver spoon in her mouth. She had no exposure to neglect. She had never wanted for anything, she was the princess of her parents’ hearts. Her father, a surgeon, had made sure of that. What could he possibly give to a woman like her? Her life had been easy. His had been hard. She had everything she ever needed. He’d scraped by with the bare minimum.
And yet, with the abundance of love and family and acceptance in her life, she was going after more. He thought back to their conversation about the phone booth yesterday. At the risk of hurting her mother and grandparents, she was interested in searching out this possibility of another grandmother. She was focused on solving this hidden family mystery, despite her mother not wanting her to. Asking her not to.
When was enough, enough? Was Jasmine so accustomed to getting whatever she wanted in life, that she didn’t know when to quit? And if so, how could he possibly ever make her happy? He wasn’t equipped. And that mindset was so foreign to his own.
He shook his head and turned away from the mirror. He swiped his hands down his clothes, brushing out any wrinkles that could be there.
He was walking unmapped territory here. He didn’t have a clear idea how Jasmine felt about him, whether she was interested in a relationship of some kind. Did he want to pursue her, despite their obvious differences in backgrounds and lifestyles, and the long distance between them? Would he be walking into a future of disaster if he pursued it?
He pursed his lips in concentration and walked to the door. Was she the right one for him? Or were there just too many differences and warning signs to ignore? He wished he had a dad, or even an older brother to help him through this. But of course, he didn’t. Instead, he bowed his head and said a fervent prayer for help and guidance so he handled this tricky situation gracefully.
He went downstairs and took a seat on the living room couch. Moments later, Jasmine walked in, wearing a simple, navy blue dress that skimmed her knee and showed off her trim, fit arms with a sleeveless style. She’d put some time into her makeup and hair. His mouth dropped open and he came to his feet almost reverently.
“You look beautiful.”
She beamed a smile at him and giggled like she didn’t know that any male of any age would think the same thing upon the sight of her.
“Seriously, you look gorgeous.” He leaned in and kissed her softly, careful not to mess her lipstick, a shiny pink that he wondered briefly if he now had on his own lips, too.
“Thank you.”
The sound of her pleased voice did something to him and his pulse started racing, like he had high-octane caffeine racing through his veins.
“I say the same back to you: you look gorgeous too, Dax.” She reached up and brushed her fingers through his hair. She seemed to like touching it, and of course, he liked her touching it, too. He enjoyed her touch wherever it happened to land on him and he hoped she never stopped. “Well. You must be starving. Let’s go,” she said.
“Okay, but …” she turned and looked at him, “you’ve been driving me around your town all weekend. Tonight, I drive, and you ride.”
“Sounds good. I’ll navigate.”
She directed him to the restaurant, and he found parking on the street. They strolled past the river and came to the door of LeMont restaurant. The hostess was expecting them, and led them to a table by the window overlooking a view of the city. The buildings, after dark, were practically sparkling. She could not have picked a more romantic location for the two of them to share dinner.
The hostess left them to review the menus, and he spotted the prices. He gasped so hard that it turned into a cough, then, unable to get control of himself, he started choking. Jasmine’s head flew up from her menu and her eyes popped wide in alarm. She jumped to her feet and came behind him, pounding him on the back. He tried to dissuade her, don’t trouble yourself, he’d get it under control in a minute. But he couldn’t get the words out. Other diners were beginning to stare.
She lifted his water glass and coaxed him to take small sips between coughs. She continued patting his back, and coached him, “Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.”
Eventually, his coughing spell passed. Of course, he probably looked like he’d been through a battle. “I’m sorry,” he said, and rose. “Let me just use the men’s room. I’ll be right back.”
She still looked worried. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. I’ll be right back.”
He practically sprinted to the facilities and turned on the water, letting it run over his hands, then he raised it to his face and splashed cold water several times. His breathing was coming more normal now.
Dang it! He was a fish out of water in a fancy restaurant like this. He didn’t belong here and he wasn’t fooling anyone. But Jasmine was at home in the posh surroundings. She’d practically grown up in places like this. How would a guy like him ever impress and interest a sophisticated woman like Jasmine? Who did he think he was? Jasmine deserved much better than an orphan adult, all alone in the world. She had it on the ball.
As much as he didn’t want it to be true, they were mismatched. Unless he put the brakes on now, he’d be charging head-on into a boat-load of heartache. For himself and for her. They would never make it as a couple.
Anxiety gripped him. He’d come to this realization, now, how should he handle it? Should he go out there and break up with Jasmine right now? Explain what was most likely already obvious to her — that they were doomed before they even got started? But then, he’d have to drive back to New York late tonight. Maybe instead, he should just tell her in the morning. Or, he could enjoy spending the whole weekend with her, and call her with his break-up decision next week. But that seemed uncourageous.
Uncertain, he glanced back at the mirror. His complexion color had returned to about normal. He grabbed a tissue and blew his nose, then shook his hair back from his face. He stood quietly for a moment and let his breathing slow.
That’s when it occurred to him. It was the small voice speaking to him again, the voice of a young abandoned boy whose family didn’t want him, the voice of the young man who’d grown up in hundreds of different families, but none of them he could call his own. That was the destructive voice he’d come to recognize as a child that was lying to him.
He knew how to deal with that voice now. He may not have a father, but he had a Father – a heavenly one who was always in his corner. Always had his back, always wanted to help. So he closed his eyes and prayed, God, help me with this. Did You introduce Jasmine to me for a reason? Is there a divine plan here? If so, help me not to screw it up. Help me step by step.
He waited. The Bible talked about a peace that passes all understanding. Dax knew what it felt like, because he’d experienced it before, often right after a prayer. That’s what he needed right now — a peace to settle over him so he could pull himself together and handle this crisis like God wanted him to, not like his fear was urging him to.
He needed an answer guide. Did God want him and Jasmine to be together? What about his fears about her life of opportunity and wealth, so different from his? Would that destroy them? Or, in their differences, could they help each other? He could help her see his view of the world, and she could share hers with him?
As he walked back to the table, he coached himself silently, Take it easy. God’s with you. You’re fine. When he slid back into his chair he forced a smile and said, “Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to alarm you.”
Jasmine said with a sigh of relief, “Oh thank goodness! You had me worried there.”
“Now, can we talk about these prices?” He pointed at the menu.
“No. I said my treat, and I meant it.”
“Jasmine, no. You could’ve taken me for a hamburger and I would’ve been completely happy.”
“But if I took you for a hambur
ger, you would’ve missed the best view in the city.” She lifted a hand and gestured, Vanna White-style.
He studied her face. “But you don’t have a job …”
“No. But my dad does.” She reached into her purse and whipped out a credit card. “My dad insisted. I called him this afternoon and told him all about the photo shoot, and how great you did with the poses, and how awesome my portfolio is going to be. He was so happy, he offered to pay for our meal tonight.”
His eyebrows went up with surprise. “Did you tell him you picked the most expensive place in the city?”
“In fact, he suggested it.”
“He did?”
“Yes. So, quit worrying, quit choking, and pick out your meal. Oh, and why don’t we start with an appetizer?”
Chapter Ten
The following morning, Dax carried his bag out to his car and tossed it into the back seat. Jasmine trailed him, her heart like a big lump in her throat. He was going home. He had a job to return to in New York, and she had a job search to continue in Pennsylvania.
He turned and slipped his arms around her, pulling her in easily for an embrace. She tucked her face into his solid chest and squeezed him while she inhaled his scent. She had to remember it. Who knew when she’d see him again?
If ever?
That thought made her pulse trip, making her feel a little panicky. Of course she’d see him again. But when? And why? What reason did she have to entice him for another visit? He’d offered to help her with her photo shoot, and now that was done.
They parted and he said, “Thank you for your hospitality. It was nice.”
“Thank you for your modeling skills. Those photos are great and they’ll give me the start of a good portfolio for these employers.”
They stood quietly, staring into each other’s eyes, hesitant to say good-bye. Say something. If she let him drive off without a plan for a next get-together, she’d never forgive herself.
“So, let me ask,” she started, but she’d interrupted him. He’d spoken at the same time. “Go ahead.”
“No, you.”
She shook her head and laughed. “You.”
“Okay. I’m going to just put this out there. If you say yes, it’ll be a good drive home. If you say no, I can sneak off and lick my wounds.”
She smiled. “Yes.”
He laughed. “Yes what?”
“I don’t know, but of the two choices, yes sounds much better.”
He reached for her hands and squeezed them. “I’d like to see you again. In fact, I’d like to see where this … thing … might go. This relationship. I like you, Jasmine.”
“I like you, too.” She sounded like a little girl, professing her love and commitment to a boy on the playground. But he didn’t seem to mind because his face was beaming with happiness.
“Great.”
“Are you talking about a long-distance relationship? Like, boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“Yes. We see each other whenever we can. And we call, text or IM whenever possible.” He pulled her closer. “I know you deserve better. You deserve someone close by who can take you out every night and spoil you. And believe me, I have no idea if it’s going to work. But I have to wonder if God put us together for a reason. It’ll be hard being apart, but I’d like to give it a try. If you do.”
“I’d like that.” She had a boyfriend. Wow. When was the last time she could say that?
He pulled her closer and leaned his forehead against hers. He said in a whisper, “We are so different, Jasmine.”
She nodded. “I know we are. But just our pasts. I think who we are now, we’re more alike than you think.”
He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “So, our childhoods were very different, obviously. But what are our priorities now? Mine are starting my career, working hard and making it on my own. Same as yours, right?”
He nodded.
“I know a priority of yours is to learn more about God and live a Christian life. Same as me. The fact that I’ve been doing it awhile longer doesn’t mean that I have all the answers. I can learn so much from you. It’s important to me that we have similar faiths.”
He grinned. “When you put it that way, it makes me think maybe our differences aren’t that big.”
The way he said it, gave her a little jolt. “Are you concerned about our differences? I mean, are you worried about them?”
He quieted, then squeezed her hands. “I want to be honest with you. Yes, I am worried. You’re used to getting everything you want in life. If we end up together, there’s no way I could provide that to you.”
She swatted his shoulder. “You make me sound like a spoiled brat.”
He shook his head but stayed somber. “I don’t mean it like that, exactly. It’s just that you look at life differently than I do. You have no boundaries. Anything is possible to you, nothing is off limits.”
She thought about that. “I’m not sure that’s entirely true. But even if it were, that doesn’t mean that I’d expect you to give it to me. Believe me, I’ve learned a lot already about growing up and being an adult. If I want anything in life, I have to work hard for it. It’s not going to be handed to me.”
“Okay,” he said, drawn out like he didn’t quite believe it.
“I know my entire life hasn’t been hard like yours, but the last year hasn’t exactly been a picnic. And now that I’m trying to make my own way in the world, I want to be self-supporting. And the way to do that is to do your best and work hard.”
“And be grateful for the blessings that you have, and know when to stop wanting more.”
She cocked her head. She wasn’t sure what point he was making there, but she had to agree the statement was sound. “Yep.”
He pulled her into a hug and she savored his scent by breathing him deep into her lungs.
“So,” she said playfully, “if we’re going to go the official boyfriend/girlfriend route, then I say we need an official couple selfie.”
He laughed and she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. They both leaned against his car and she held her phone high in the air and snapped it. Then they kissed and she snapped it again.
“It’s a start,” she said with a laugh.
“Now, what was it you were going to say before?” he asked.
She stared at him. Oh yeah, she’d totally forgotten. She was going to see if she could interest him in visiting her again. “Not a thing.”
“You don’t remember?”
She leaned in close to him. “We already covered it.”
That got her another kiss and a soft caress of his hand on her check. Then, he got in the car, started it, rolled down his window.
“Drive safe, boyfriend.” She stood back and watched till he pulled out of sight.
* * *
It took two solid days to pore over the hundreds of shots she’d taken of Dax. It was nearly impossible to pick out the best ones. Probably because it was difficult to eliminate any. They were all good. The man was impossibly photogenic. She’d find herself staring at him, her heart about to burst because of the excitement caused by their relationship status. He was hers. Just the thought of it made her blood rush more forcefully.
She’d have to jolt herself back to work.
She eventually ended up with a sizable but manageable group of photos for the male side of her portfolio. Next she’d have to work on her female selections. And possibly, her children’s fashions.
But first, she’d take a break. She pulled her computer onto her lap and accessed Facebook. She loaded in the two selfies of her and Dax and changed her relationship status to “In a Relationship.” She paused, then checked her Newsfeed. Within seconds, her computer went crazy beeping as non-stop notifications hit her account. She laughed and spent the next hour responding to her friends that yes, she was in a relationship, his name was Dax, he lived in New York, she was currently in Pittsburgh, and yes oh yes, he sure was
handsome!
She went back to her room and set her laptop on her desk. The manila folder of Phone Booth Baby clippings was sitting there and it fell to the floor. Jasmine picked it up and stared at it. Both her mother and Dax had advised her against pursuing this family mystery any further. Her mother, because she was happy with how her childhood had turned out, and had no interest in pursuing her true identity. Dax, since he had no relatives at all, couldn’t understand why someone with an abundance of family members would need to track down more.
She should leave well enough alone. She didn’t have time for this, and no one thought it was a good idea anyway. But if that was all true, why couldn’t she put it behind her?
This was a mystery aching to be solved. Nothing interesting or unique had ever happened to her family. This was unique. Her mom was a celebrity of sorts, if only for a few days when she was an infant.
Her mom’s birthday was coming up soon. Which meant that the anniversary of her being placed in the phone booth was coming up, too. She knew it was a long shot, and probably a very romantic notion, but what if her mom’s mother made a special trip back to the phone booth every year on her baby’s birthday, or the date she’d delivered her to the phone booth, to commemorate what must have been a very difficult decision she’d made as a young woman? God forbid, if Jasmine had ever had to make that horrible decision, she’d get sentimental about it every year. She’d never forget her daughter, and she’d never stop wondering what became of her.
Even if this mystery mother never made contact, it would give her comfort to know what her daughter had made of her life. Was she happy? Was she successful? And knowing that, would it make it worth the terrible decision she’d had to make way back when?
She thought for a few seconds more before she opened her laptop again. She opened up her word processing program, pondered her wording, and then typed,
Bridge to Fruition Page 11