First Channel s-3

by Jacqueline Lichtenberg

  To her bewilderment, Rimon, Kadi, and Veritt all broke into laughter. Rimon finally caught his breath and said, “Thank you. I appreciate your offer, but—I don’t kill.”

  “I know you won’t kill that one—but nobody don’t kill.”

  “Do you remember last spring, when you and Risko and some others laughed at Kadi and me for homesteading where we were? I didn’t have anyone but Kadi with me then, and I haven’t been to your Pens in all these months, have I? What did you think I was doing?”

  “Never thought about it.”

  “Kadi supplies me with all the selyn I need. Every month.”

  The woman stared from Rimon to Kadi and back again. “Weir, I’ll be shenned,” she said. “That’s why she ain’t scared.”

  “Miss Slina,” said Abel Veritt, “we should get Risko indoors where it’s warm and dry so we can bandage that wound. Bring him to Fort Freedom for the night. You can take him back to town tomorrow.”

  Sara Fenell, who had been looking on for some time, said. “I have a Gen set aside that I won’t be using. You can have him for Risko.”

  “Now that’s more than friendly of you folks…”

  “You. and the others from town, did a great service to Fort Freedom today. If it hadn’t been for your warning, we wouldn’t have been massed for the attack, and many more lives would have been lost.”

  Slina laughed. “Don’t thank me for that—thank that crazy redheaded Gen.”

  Rimon started. “Kadi?” For the first time, he realized that the Wild Gens must have crossed the border near their homestead.

  The Sime woman was saying, “She come ridin’ through town, yellin’ there was Wild Gens comin’. Never seen nothin’ like it in my life, the way she stood up to a bunch of Simes. You’d a swore she was a leader of a border patrol, not a Gen!”

  One of the gathered Simes added, “I thought she was runnin’ for the border. When I tried to claim her, she swore at me like some Freeband Raider!”

  Radiating embarrassment, Kadi murmured, “I rode off in such a hurry, I left my tags at home. But the storekeeper recognized me.”

  The storekeeper shrugged. “I knew she was legal, even if she is plumb crazy.”

  “That was a very brave thing to do,” Veritt said.

  “I wasn’t brave. I was scared for Rimon, and all of you. I had to do it.”

  Slina was studying them. “I don’t understand. You was all alone out there by the border, and you didn’t just go on across? Why do you stay with this guy. who keeps you for selyn?”

  Kadi smiled at her. “Why does any woman stay with her husband?”

  “Husband!”

  “Yes,” said Rimon. He chose his words carefully, recalling the reaction of another Gendealer—his father. “Kadi and I have something special. So far, we haven’t been able to teach it to anyone else, but that won’t stop us from living together.”

  Slina shook her head again. “Weird. I got customers like to make it with Gens, sometimes. But I never heard of nobody wanting to marry one! That ain’t legal, is it?”

  “There’s no law against it,” Rimon pointed out.

  “Clearly Rimon and Kadi are married in the eyes of God,” said Abel Veritt.

  Slina shrugged. “Your business. I guess if you have kids you’ll be officially married, no matter what anybody says.”

  Kadi nodded serenely. “We’ll have children. Rimon and I are. settled into our home now, we’re making friends– life is good.”

  The Sime woman said, “I don’t envy you. Folks don’t like nobody who’s too different. I guess you’re better off around here than most places… but I sure wouldn’t want to be in your place!”

  Chapter Nine

  FAREWELL CEREMONY

  After the battle, Rimon and Kadi stayed in Carlana’s house, watching her children while she and Del went for a ride after dinner… and didn’t return until dawn. Carlana blushingly apologized while Del tried to hide his smug satisfaction. Rimon knew that his kill in battle that day had been without remorse for the first time since Billy’s death.

  A few days later, Del and Carlana came out to help Rimon and Kadi. The four of them worked together for a while, but Kadi couldn’t keep up with the Simes. She could drive the wagon, though, bringing it in for the others to load, then helping to unload.

  At one point, as they finished loading the wagon, Carlana climbed onto the seat beside Kadi. “I’ll do it this time,” she told Del and Rimon.

  Rimon, who had been riding to the threshing floor with Kadi each time, found himself stepping forward, as if to challenge the Sime woman’s right—and then pulled himself back, embarrassed. Carlana was pre-turnover. Probably the two women just wanted to talk woman-talk. Kadi had little enough time for that.

  At Rimon’s hesitation, Del said with studied casualness, “All right, Ana. We’ll have another load ready when you get back.”

  Rimon caught a peculiar glance from Del as he deliberately turned his back to the departing women and started working. After a few minutes, apparently convinced that Rimon was normal enough, Del said, “Rimon, I’ve decided I want Ana to be my wife.”

  “Hey! That’s great!” said Rimon. “Married life is…” But Del was uncertain. “What’s wrong?”

  “I—I just don’t know, Rimon. For the first time since Billy, I’ve found something to live for. But… she deserves better than I can give.”

  “Don’t be silly,” said Rimon. “Since you started that ranch, you’re become the best catch this end of the Territory. You’re young and strong and well on your way to getting rich—what more could a woman want?”

  “For one thing, someone who shares her beliefs,” said Del. “Her… relationship with God, the teachings of Fort Freedom—it’s all so important to her, and most of it means nothing to me. I know that bothers her. And the one piece of knowledge we do share—that’s what’s tearing me up. Gens are people. She knows that as well as you and I do– except that to preserve her sanity, she accepts Abel Veritt’s teaching that the ones grown in the Pens are just bodies without souls. If I could believe that—oh, God, if only I could believe it!”

  Del stopped his savage hacking at the wheat and upended his scythe, staring at the wicked blade. “They almost convinced me.”

  “What?”

  But Del, lost in reverie, didn’t hear him. “This month, I had a good kill. I killed a man who was trying to kill Ana. Shen—that was the best kill I’ve ever had in my life! Real, alive, alert, undrugged—and no guilt, because he deserved to die. But the month before…”

  Rimon didn’t like the way Del began to finger the edge of the scythe blade. “I wasn’t going to kill, Rimon. I’d had all I could take. Or maybe—maybe I really hoped Ana would stop me and convince me—I just don’t know. I was crazy!”

  Deeply concerned, Rimon tried to make his field soothing to Del, wishing desperately that Kadi were here, and on the other hand glad she didn’t have to hear this.

  Del glanced at him, and smiled grimly. “I’m all right now —for the time being. But that day I decided to kill myself.”

  Rimon leaned on his own scythe. “But you didn’t.”

  “No. Ana found me. Maybe I hoped she would. She took me to Abel Veritt—shen it, Rimon, he stayed up all night talking with me, to be sure I wouldn’t go off and try again the minute his back was turned. And then… he brought me one of those Gens they kill, passive, drugged, and he kept telling me to zlin it, to see the difference—and I was so deep into need by then, I had to believe him. And there is a difference. Nothing—nothing like Kadi… like Billy—” Tears were sliding down Del’s cheeks, unnoticed. Rimon was able to take the scythe from him, make him sit down. “But, Rimon, after it was over, I—I couldn’t accept it anymore. I want to. But I can’t. Just can’t.”

  Rimon put an arm around Del’s shoulders, helpless. Finally Del said, “You and Kadi—that’s the only thing that gives me hope, Rimon, hope enough to take Ana and the kids and stay alive until—until you—”
>
  When Del couldn’t finish the sentence, Rimon said, “Yeah. Until.” This is what I’ve done to my best friend. Now what?

  At last Del pulled himself together and went to the brook to wash his face. The women, bouncing the wagon across the empty field, ignored Rimon.

  “Do you love Del?”

  “Oh yes, Kadi,” Carlana replied. “I loved my husband; he was an honest, hard-working man who cared well for me and our children. But—Del is a—gentler man. Haven’t you seen the way he gentles the horses? He is a very easy man to love.”

  “I know,” said Kadi, her nager humming with strong emotion. She turned to Carlana, securing the reins. “You said yourself that he loves your children as if he were their own father. Grab him, Carlana. Grab him while you can.”

  With a silent, welling bitterness, Rimon thought, And I’m not an easy man to love. Not at all.

  Carlana climbed down from the’ wagon, careful to keep her long skirts in place. Kadi, wearing denims, jumped down beside her. “Here comes Del,” she said. “Go ahead and ask him.”

  “I wish to. It would mean leaving Fort Freedom, but we would not be far away: The only thing I could wish is that we could be married in the chapel.”

  As “marriage” to Rimon and Kadi meant living together, Carlana’s statement made little sense. “You mean a pledge ceremony?” asked Kadi. “Most couples do that with a big party. I’m sure Dei would be delighted—why, it would almost make this country seem civilized!”

  Del joined them to find his fate sealed—but Rimon sensed that he was relieved that the women had made his mind up for him and were already making plans concerning plum cakes and whether there was enough of Kadi’s blue material left for a wedding dress. When they went off to the house to see, Rimon turned to Del and said, “Congratulations. You are doing the right thing, you know.”

  “I know,” said Del. “The right thing for me, anyway. I just hope it turns out to be the right thing for Ana.”

  If Del was worried about taking care of a wife, Rimon was equally worried, with more reason. Kadi had carefully preserved a store of food for the winter, and they had their house—the problem was money. Rimon had never had to worry before about not having enough cash. He was down to what he’d earned in Fort Freedom’s fields, worrying about paying Kadi’s head tax, when, after the Wild Gen raid, they were awarded four of the horses taken that day —and the right to have them shod once by Fort Freedom’s blacksmith. The Gen guns would be melted down for their precious metal. Rimon sold the saddles in town, adding to their meager supply of money.

  Thank goodness, there would be no property taxes until their two years of homesteading were up, and Rimon could claim the deed to his land. By then surely they’d be doing better!

  Kadi seemed content with their progress. They even had a goat now, a present from Slina, who claimed to have taken it in trade. “She’ll drop kids in the spring,” she told them, “and you’ll have milk and cheese after that. You can—use her; to me she’s a nuisance.”

  Paradoxically, the local Gendealer was friendly toward them because of Rimon’s healing of Risko, while a good number of the people of Fort Freedom were not. Rimon noticed it particularly the day Del and Carlana were married, a glorious day with the crisp cool of early autumn in the air.

  It was a simple ceremony, with Abel ‘Veritt presiding and just a few friends to witness. Mrs. Veritt was there. Jord Veritt was not. While he would not oppose his father openly, he spoke to others in the community, warning that the “outsiders” were trying to destroy their way of life.

  Somehow, a number of people became convinced that Del’s taking Carlana and her children away was part of a plot directed by Rimon and Kadi.

  More and more, there was a distinct coldness from those who sided with Jord—the younger Simes born in-Territory, with whom Rimon should have had the most in common. Soon after Del and Carlana were married, they learned one of the reasons the Sime children of Fort Freedom might foster feelings of resentment.

  Rimon and Kadi were invited to a “Farewell Ceremony” for Elin Lol, the girl whose father had been killed in the Wild Gen raid. She had just established as a Gen—cause for rejoicing in Fort Freedom.

  The celebration began at dusk, in the chapel. Both factions were there, Abel and Jord Veritt officiating jointly. Those approaching need carefully placed themselves on the periphery, those most recently satisfied, in front and along the aisle. As Elin had established only yesterday, her low field would have put her in little danger; nonetheless, every precaution was taken for her safety.

  Rimon and Kadi were placed in the front row, Abel Veritt saying, “When you two are together, no one can tell where you are in your cycle, Rimon.”

  He could feel all eyes on them, and the effort of those approaching need to avoid zlinning. Many were resentful of their presence, and even those friendly to them were affected by the hostility.

  A large proportion of Fort Freedom’s Simes had killed within the past three days, as the Wild Gen raid had been four weeks ago. Only a few members of the community were past turnover, so the atmosphere was not tense. A stilled ‘hush fell as all were assembled, expectant and reverent.

  Elin, in a white dress, a wreath of chrysanthemums on her hair, came down the aisle between Abel and Jord Veritt. At the front of the chapel a table was covered with a white cloth, and on it were laid out a pitcher and three cups, an unlit lamp, and a lighted candle.

  Elin and Jord took the two chairs that stood to one side, and Abel Veritt faced the congregation. “We’re here tonight,” he said, “to rejoice in God’s blessing upon Elin Lol, child of this community—child of Simes and yet herself not cursed with the Sime nature.”

  Elin Lol was attempting to smile, although her eyes were flooded with tears. This was the best Sime Territory had to offer a Gen. Elin didn’t face a terrorized flight to the border, or the prospect of being killed by a friend, sold into the Pens, or captured by Gen hunters. She knew the Gen language and customs, and something of what to do when she got across the border. Nonetheless, she was leaving the only home she’d ever known, never to return.

  Veritt was continuing, “We all question the will of God at times. Every Sime here has wondered why God would curse anyone with the Devil’s form. To that question, no one can give a complete answer—yet we know that God is working for good because every so often we see His plan revealed to us.

  “Here sits Elin Lol, blessed by God. He chose the Lol family, tried and tested them, and they did not waver. Two years ago, their son died in changeover, and they found strength in the thought that God took him before he could kill. Last year Riled Lol died, and her husband turned his energies to caring for his daughter, remaining always a good and pious man. And finally the test came upon Elin. Her father was brutally murdered. She questioned, and yet she placed her faith in God’s justice and mercy. And now the Lol family has been blessed.

  “Let us all pray that Elin Lol will continue to live in God’s grace. May she find good friends across the border. May God bless her with a good husband and healthy children, none of whom bear the Devil’s curse.”

  There was a prayer in unison at that point, in which Rimon and Kadi did not participate. Rimon was fascinated by the way Veritt had taken the harsh facts, of a hard and sorrowful life and woven them into a story of faith and hope. Yet life wasn’t that simple, and Rimon was certain Veritt himself knew that. He deliberately kept his teachings to black and white, good and evil to ensure that his people didn’t have to think too deeply about their faith.

  Hope and joy permeated the nager in the chapel and seemed to enter Kadi, too, lifting her to a euphoric contentment. Rimon basked in it until he felt Jord Veritt zlinning Kadi from all the way across the room, despite the heavy nager. Rimon took her hand protectively. She looked at him, then at Jord, and suddenly became transparent, visible to Sime senses only as a brightness. Startled, Rimon had to look to see that it was still Kadi sitting beside him.

  The prayers ended
. Elin Lol and Jord came to the table. Jord poured water into the three cups. Abel Veritt said a blessing over them, and handed cups to Elin and Jord, keeping one himself.

  “We celebrate our sameness,” he announced. “All life, from the smallest plants and animals to man himself, both Sime and Gen, must have water to exist. Thus we remind ourselves that we are all part of God’s plan, even those who bear the curse of the Sime nature.”

  The three drank from the cups, and Jord set them off to one side, placing the lamp in the center of the table. Then he gave Elin the lighted candle. It caught the tears swimming in her eyes and picked out highlights in her hair. All in white, she looked like a shimmering apparition, a vision of hope.

  Abel Veritt said, “Elin Lol, you leave us now for a better life here on this earth. Live it so that you may know an even more blessed existence after death, and that your children may never be cursed with the Devil’s form. Go with God, Elin Lol, leaving behind you the flame of hope.”

  Tears streaming down her face, Elin turned to the congregation. “I—I love you all. I’ll never forget to pray for you. May God bless and protect you.”

  Then she lit the lamp from her candle. Jord put the chimney on, and the flame flared brightly as around the chapel all the other lamps were extinguished, and then Elin blew out her candle. The only light in the chapel now was the lamp on the table. The Simes, though, could perceive Elin’s nager, even low-field as she was, as a glowing, growing flame of hope.

  Of course, there wasn’t supposed to be another Gen in the chapel. Kadi’s nager was much brighter than Elin’s, but there was nothing to be done about it. Perhaps, though the strange custom of Fort Freedom’s Simes of not zlinning under formal circumstances extended to their religious practices. As the Veritts guided Elin down the aisle, Rimon put his arm around Kadi’s waist and guided her out. He knew she didn’t miss the way he deftly avoided Jord Veritt and kept his own body between Jord and her. As they were mounting up, she whispered, “What’s the matter, Rimon?”