“For the rest of our lives,” Nero agreed solemnly.
***
Nero had relented, and Maria had made her meeting with Wendy. In the changing room of a department store, she told Wendy that she was doing everything that she could. Wendy recommended that she try talking to Nero on her knees with her mouth full. That was two weeks ago, and Maria was no closer to figuring out how Nero ticked. Each day she lived in fear that she would fail her brother. Each week Wendy made sure to taunt her with what would happen if she did.
Nero and she lived in a kind of indifference. He wasn’t rude, but he just didn’t care; it was as if she were a tolerated visitor. Each time she spoke to him, it was clear to anyone that he was just waiting for her to finish so he could dismiss her. In desperation, Maria had asked Nero if her family could come for a visit. She didn’t know how else to get him to spend time with her. Only for Nico could she be strong enough to face them.
Pacing the hallway, she heard them arrive. Straightening her shoulders, she waited, counting the seconds as Nero joined her to greet them while Matteo opened the door. Emotions paralyzed Maria as she watched her father, Joan, Lucca, Dom, Tori, and little Adrianna their baby girl walk through the door while their people grabbed their bags. They would be staying for only two days. She felt rooted to the spot, so Nero stepped forward to greet them, getting a cold reception from the men that he seemed to just brush off. As if sensing the difficulty that she was having, Joan stepped forward and embraced her, murmuring into her ear that she missed her. Pain ripped into her heart at Joan’s words, so simple yet profound from a woman that had once risked everything to get her home. Lifting her arms, Maria wrapped them around Joan, needing the strength that her embrace provided. Letting Joan go, she stepped back and looked at her father. His face was set as hard as ever, but his eyes held regret. A regret that the child inside of her had once begged silently for. Needing his love to temper the pain that had been too sharp to release.
“Father,” she said shakily, completely unprepared when he stepped forward and pulled her into his arms.
In a fierce grip, he embraced her, pressing her head into his shoulder as he whispered hoarsely, “My baby. I’m sorry.”
At those words, a floodgate opened in her emotions that she couldn’t hold back as her silent tears soaked his shoulder. This was all she had ever wanted, what she had needed, and though it was too late to set the past right, she would take it. She would take this one moment of regret because when he found out the truth of the sins that were to come, she would never get it again.
Chapter 10
“Maria, are you happy?” Joan asked as they walked through the paths out back into the forest that surrounded the property. Her guards maintained a discreet distance behind. Ever since the day she managed to get away, they never really left her alone, not even at the house.
Looking out ahead of them, she carefully answered. “I want to be happy.”
“Would you be happy if you came home?” Joan asked tentatively.
“No,” Maria answered in horror before softening her voice. “No, I don’t want to come home.”
“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Joan tried.
“What do you mean?”
Stopping, Joan took her arm, forcing her to stop, too. She lowered her voice so that her words wouldn’t carry. “What I mean is, do you want to leave here? Do you want to leave Nero? The family has agreed to have the marriage dissolved if that is what you want.”
A month ago, Maria would have jumped at the chance, but now there was no choice. With more force in her tone than she intended, Maria hurriedly said, “I want to stay.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, Joan’s eyes sharpened, having picked up the panic that Maria had not been able to hide.
“Funny, from what I’ve seen, I can’t imagine why. Has Nero threatened you? Is that why you constantly have men shadowing you?” she demanded.
“No, nothing like that. The men follow me because Nero has many enemies. It’s for my safety that they are there.”
“Your safety? Even in your own home?”
“Joan, I’ve learned that no place is ever truly safe,” Maria bleakly said before sucking in a breath. “So, how is everyone one else?” she asked, needing to change the subject.
Joan wasn’t fooled but let it go. Releasing Maria’s arm, she started forward “Good. Everyone’s good. Alexa is doing great in school. Lucca is already chasing away all the little boys. Gabriel is adorable; he is a miniature of his father. We haven’t heard much from Nico, other than his weekly calls to tell us school is going well. Everything is good.”
“Nico calls you?” Maria asked, trying not to sound excited. Oh, God, they have been hearing from Nico. He was still alive.
“Oh, yes, he calls to check in. Angelo is so proud of him.”
“What about Angie?”
“She’s fine. Just fine.”
“Why didn’t she and the children come, too?”
“Well, um, she was a little under the weather, and Lucca didn’t think it was a good idea.”
“But—”
“Oh, look, there’s Tori and the baby.” Rushing ahead, Joan left her like the hounds of hell were chasing her. Obviously, whatever was going on with Angie, she didn’t want to discuss it.
Following slowly, Maria eyed Tori. She needed Tori if she was going to have chance of saving Nico. Swallowing her anger, she forced a smile to her lips that caused Tori to blink in surprise before returning her smile with a tentative one of her own. Together, the four of them walked along the path, talking and laughing while Maria silently plotted her next step.
***
They were all gone except for Tori and the baby, which was a relief. The whole time that they were here had been a strain on her nerves. She had wanted to confess everything, and the fear of saying a wrong word had put her nerves on edge. Time and again, she was approached by her father and brothers asking if she wanted out of the marriage. Each time she said no, a strange look would cross their faces, and they would try again. The harder they tried, the more she realized that they suspected the truth that there was something between Nero and Angie, but it was confirmed when she accidently came across Tori and Dom fighting.
“You’re not staying here.” Dom spat as Tori unpacked her bag.
“Yes, I am. Maria asked me to. I want this chance with her, Dom. I want this chance to fix our family.”
“Our family? Are you fucking kidding me? As soon as Maria gives the word, we’re taking her out of here and away from that piece-of-shit brother of yours.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Don’t you dare talk about my brother like that!”
“I’ll say whatever the hell I want.”
“No, you won’t. Just because you’re frustrated about what’s going on inside of your family doesn’t give you any right to talk about mine like that. Don’t blame Nero for something Angie forced on him. He’s making the best of it.”
“Forced on him? Are you fucking blind? They fucking plotted the whole thing.”
“What are you saying?”
“You know damn well what I’m saying, and I better not find out that you knew about it.”
“Knew about what?”
“About Nero and Angie.”
“You’re insane.”
“Don’t fucking try and deny it…”
Whatever else they were going to say, she didn’t hear, as she rushed away from the door at the sound of someone approaching. When her family finally left, Dom wouldn’t even look at Tori. The whole point of her family coming was to bring her and Nero closer, and yet now they were farther apart.
The chill of the night had her leaving the patio and going indoors. Her mind still chaotic, she went to the stairs but stopped when she heard a noise coming from Nero’s office. Cautiously, she approached, placing her hand on the door she pushed it open and stepped inside. It was dark except for a dim light that shone from the corner. About to leave, she was s
tartled by the sound of a voice.
“What are you still doing up?” Nero asked.
Looking around, Maria caught sight of him in the shadows on the couch. Slowly, she approached. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Yeah.” He motioned to a chair. “Take a seat and join me,” he slurred slightly, causing Maria to realize that he had been drinking. Not wanting to stay but afraid of angering him, she gingerly sat down on the edge of the chair across from him, ready to bolt. Seeing the move for what it was, Nero’s voice became mocking. “So, that was a great visit.”
Fear filled Maria at the tone of his voice, so she quickly tried to pacify him. “I’m sorry for the way my brothers and father treated you.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that you are.”
“No, really, I am,” she whimpered, terrified. This is how it would always start before Paulie would start beating on her.
“Stop that. I wouldn’t fucking hurt you,” Nero said in disgust, reading the thoughts clearly displayed upon her face before leaning back and closing his eyes. “Just leave. Just go to bed.”
Taking a deep breath, Maria fought her instinct to run and instead started talking as if the words inside of her just couldn’t be bottled up any longer. “Paulie had been nice to me right up until he had gotten me home.”
Opening his eyes, Nero looked at her. “Your husband?”
“My torturer.” Twisting her lips, Maria looked down. “He was so angry that his family forced him to marry a whore and that he wasn’t even profiting from it.” She looked up. “You see, Paulie only got a few hundred thousand; the rest, the head of his family kept. Paulie would rant and rave about the injustice of that. I knew that whenever he was drinking that it was coming. You know, you would think that I would have been used to the pain. After everything that had been done to me, you would think that I would have been numb to it, but it still hurt. It still hurt so bad,” she whispered as if confused.
“Maria.”
Blinking at the sound of her name, she continued. “When he beat me that last time, I prayed for death. I prayed that finally it would finally be over. That I would finally know peace.” Leaning back in her chair, she rubbed her hands up and down her arms as if to ward off the cold. “When I opened my eyes at the hospital the first time, I thought I was in hell. He was sitting right there, looking at me, and I thought that it was my punishment for my sins. It didn’t take long to realize that I was still alive. A few words on what would happen to me if I talked took care of that. He had beat the baby from me and was disappointed that I hadn’t joined it in death.”
Seeing the lost look in her eyes, Nero said softly, “It wasn’t your fault.”
Tears filled her eyes. “But it was. I never wanted the baby. God help me, I was glad that it was gone. I was glad that it wasn’t festering inside of me any longer. It was innocent, but to me, it was a cancer eating at my soul. A reminder that I would have had to face each day of the horrors that I lived through.” Taking a deep breath, she wiped angrily at her face. She had no right. “After that, I refused to eat. To move. To speak. I just wanted death. It was the only way that I could escape. I resented the doctors and the tubes that they placed in me. I resented my family, who dared to come see me. I resented your family for what was forced upon me. I resented everything. I resented everything until they told me Paulie was dead. That he was dead and I was free. In that moment, it was like the sky had broken after an endless rain, and the sun shone down filling me with its light. I was free.”
“You were free until I came,” Nero said softly, causing Maria to nod her head and fresh tears to form in her eyes. Setting the glass aside, Nero reached out and took her hand. “I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to trap you again.”
“Then why did you?” Maria asked, regretting the words as soon as she said them.
“Because I owed it to Angelica. I owed her so much that when she asked for your safety as payment, I agreed,” he said softly. A small, twisted smile curved Nero’s mouth at the look on her face at the mention of Angie’s name. “Do you believe it?”
“Believe what?” she asked cautiously.
“Do you believe what they think about Angelica and me?” he asked. When she said nothing, a disgusted look came upon his face. “Yeah, of course you do.”
“Nero.”
Releasing her hand, he held her eyes. “There’s nothing between the two of us, Maria. The first time I met her, she saved my life. It was after the death of my mother and stepfather. I was in a bad place. Enzo had the wills changed so that he had access to everything, and Tori was being framed for my parents’ murders. My people had deserted me for Enzo, I believed that Tori was guilty and my wife was a junkie that didn’t even know I existed unless she ran out of pills. I was at a low point, wallowing in booze and women, trying to hide from the world. I would have died that night if it wasn’t for her. The traitors that had sided with Enzo came and beat me to unconsciousness. I was so sure that it was the end for me, but when I woke up, they were all dead and she was there. At first, I thought that I was dead also and an angel was there. She looked like innocence itself until you looked into her eyes. Her eyes held nothing. She forced me to start to see the errors of my ways. By the time she left, I was on the path that she had set for me. I don’t know how many times she saved my family without us knowing.”
“You were married before?” Maria asked in shock, latching on to that small piece. No one had ever told her.
Regret filled his face. “Yeah. Her name was Jenny.”
“How did you meet her?” she asked, curious about the woman who came before her.
“In school. I was just a kid when we met, but I knew when I saw her that she was special. So special. I met her after my father died. I didn’t know that I was capable of love until I met Jenny,” Nero said softly. He whispered as if to himself, “She was my everything.”
“But that changed?”
“Yeah. Jenny’s parents and sister were murdered when we were eighteen, and she went into a deep depression. She changed, but I still loved her, so I married her. Our lives those first years were endless. Jenny was constantly high on her pills. It was after Tori’s conviction that she seemed to snap out of it. She detoxed and became the girl I had loved again. I thought finally I was going to have the life that I’d dreamed of.”
“But you didn’t,” she prodded.
“No. Jenny went to visit a cousin who had just had a baby. She begged to go but didn’t want to take her guards, and I foolishly relented because I was desperate for her to want to have a baby of our own. It was a mistake that Jenny was forced to pay for. When Jenny came back, she was different, and not long afterward, we found out she was pregnant. She couldn’t look in my eyes and would barely tolerate my touch. Everyone said it was hormones making her act that way, but I knew something was wrong, and I ignored it. Eventually, a package came, and I found out the truth. Rage filled me, and I said some things to Jenny that still haunt me. She killed herself that day.”
“Nero,” Maria said softly.
Seeing the pitying look that entered her face, Nero hardened. “I’m not telling you this so you can feel sorry for me, Maria. I’m telling you this so you’ll understand. The day that Jenny died was the same day that any softness inside of me died. Angelica came to me the day I buried Jenny and told me the truth. It was the second time I had ever seen her. She was like a ghost and told me the truth. I could have killed her to stop the words that came out of her mouth. I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone the way I had hated her in that moment.”
“What did she tell you?”
“That there is no place for love in our world. There is no place for hope. There is only duty and vengeance. If I had followed her words, Caterina would have never touched you. It was my duty to kill her, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t kill the little girl I had raised. It was a mistake that almost killed you and did kill my grandmother.”
“She killed your grandmother.”
“Yeah.
I made a deal with the cartel because…” Stopping, he started again. “It doesn’t matter why I made the deal. I just did. Anyway, it was a trap. A trap that cost Rose her life. I would have joined her if Angelica hadn’t saved me.” He swished the liquid in his glass, and a strange smile crossed his face. “Did you know I put a contract on her and your family a few years back?”
“You tried to kill us?” Maria sputtered in shock.
“No, not you or the children. It was after we got you back when Dom was still missing. Lucca was attacking my family and wouldn’t listen to reason. Everything ended up working out and I pulled the contract, but the funny part was that it was the reason that Angelica allowed Dom and Tori to marry.”
“She allowed them to get married because you tried to kill her?” she asked in confusion. Maybe he was drunker than she thought.
“Yeah, she said that it proved that I was strong enough to do what had to be done or some shit. Maria, I mean no offense to your family when I say this, but I think you’re all fucking crazy for loving her and letting her into your family.”
“In that, I don’t disagree,” Maria said, wondering what she should believe.
Chapter 11
In a strange way, that one drunken, unguarded night seemed to be a changing point for her and Nero. He no longer avoided her and would join her and Tori at the table for meals. After dinner, he would take an hour and spend it with them playing with the baby or asking questions about their day. It was good in the fact that she was getting them to trust her, and it was bad in the fact that she was regretting the need to betray them. The guilt of what she was going to be forced to do weighed heavily upon her. Every time little Adrianna called her Auntie Maria, she realized that she would be stealing her mother from her. She would be taking her brother’s wife from him.
Out of all the things that could have been happening, she never expected to care what would happen to them. Tonight, Matteo’s wife was going to watch the baby, and she and Tori were going out, a girls’ night. Getting ready, Maria tried not to look at herself in the mirror, afraid at what she would see in her eyes. She remembered a conversation that she had had with Angie long ago, and now she knew what Angie had meant. Angie had told her that every evil deed that she had done was waiting for her in the mirror. That the true monster that she was sat there, waiting to step out and take its place in the world that she created. A world that her every action, every decision had forged. It was a thing Maria now understood. Once, she wouldn’t look in the mirror, not wanting to see the shame. Now she didn’t look not wanting to see the monster willing to sacrifice two lives and two families for her brother.
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