by Sarah Noffke
“Queen!” the wererat squeaked. “I can explain!”
Azure crossed her arms in front of her chest and tapped her foot. “I’m waiting.”
“Well…You see…I…” the wererat stuttered.
“Are you a kleptomaniac?” Azure asked, kneeling over and plucking the genie lamp from a stack.
“No!” the wererat yelled. “I’m sorry. It’s just that everyone ignores me because of my size, so…”
“So you thought you’d steal their stuff in retaliation?” Azure asked.
The wererat shook his head furiously. “No, that’s not it at all. I thought that if stuff went missing, whoever found it would be honored for reuniting everyone in the camp with their treasures.”
Azure blanched with surprise. “Do you mean that you stole everyone’s stuff so that you could return it and get credit?”
The wererat nodded profusely. “See! My end goal was noble.”
“I’m not sure I’d call it that. Have you tried just being nice?” Azure asked.
“It doesn’t matter what I do, the others ignore me. Rats are considered awful animals.”
Azure knelt and offered her palm to the wererat. He hesitated before scurrying onto it. She straightened, looking at the wererat directly. “What’s your name?”
“Gouda,” the wererat answered. He was the size of a normal rat, with whiskers and a pointy nose, but had legs and arms like a human’s.
“Gouda, you’re obviously good at collecting things,” Azure said. “What if I made you my official census collector? You’d get a chance to meet everyone, and could naturally make many friends.”
“You’re not going to punish me for my crimes?” Gouda asked, brushing crumbs off his chest.
Azure shook her head. “I think I can let the offense go this time, if you promise to return all of the items you stole.”
The wererat nodded before leaping off Azure’s hand and onto a tall stack of belongings. He picked up a perfume bottle and ran down to the ground. “I’ll return all the items tonight. And yes, I’m happy to take the position you’ve offered.”
Azure smiled as Gouda hurried for the tent entrance. She held up the lamp, grateful that Bob was safe. She’d put so much effort into freeing him and wouldn’t be defeated.
CHAPTER FIVE
Nenet pressed the spigot of the blood bag to her mouth and drank. It still surprised her how she could crave blood, but also be disgusted by the act of drinking it. If it wasn’t for Ata, she was sure she’d have starved. His blood sustained her. It was too hard for her to consider feeding off an actual person or animal. The other vampires, the crude savages who congested the main areas of the Great Pyramid, said that she’d get used to the act of feeding if she actually tried it. But they were also monsters who weren’t completely ripped apart by the fact that they’d lost their magic forever.
“Something is bothering you,” Ata observed.
Nenet lowered the blood bag. “You mean besides the fact that I’m drinking your blood, and hiding inside the shadows of a disgusting old tomb?”
Ata tore his gaze away from her and nodded, staring at the rose granite coffin in front of him. “Yes, besides that.”
“I still don’t understand how you were able to open the Great Pyramid in the first place,” Nenet mused. “Not to mention that vampires aren’t allowed to roam about, like in the Sphinx. Our coven…well, the coven I used to belong to…was protected from vampires in the Sphinx, because only those with magic could enter into it.”
“It was a different ward that prevented vampires from entering the Great Pyramid,” Ata explained. “Actually, I was quite surprised and delighted when Cordelia asked me to take down the protection of this place, so they could make it their headquarters.”
“Really? Go on, then,” Nenet encouraged.
She’d never heard Ata use a word as informal as ‘delighted,’ but he had been trapped under the mind control of Cordelia and Hamilton for quite some time. Maybe, like her, he was starting to lose himself.
“Cordelia wanted a place that represented great power and was worthy to be their headquarters,” Ata said.
“So she chose a place full of spiders and old dust,” Nenet said, eyeing the ceiling of the main chamber, which was quite different than most of the other rooms in the Great Pyramid.
“She chose one of the seven wonders of the world, forgetting who it was built for.” He tapped his crook on the top of the coffin. It creaked, and a cloud of dust puffed out of the sides, but the lid didn’t move.
“King Khufu?” Nenet asked. “Do you think she overlooked the fact that he was the one who asked the gods to govern the vampires?”
Ata tried again to move the lid from the coffin, but it didn’t budge. “I think that Cordelia’s obsession with power and growing the brood has obstructed much of her reason. Hamilton is no better.”
“Then her mistake might be to our advantage,” Nenet said.
“Let’s hope so. It was Khufu who first asked for the gods’ intervention. It was during the construction of this pyramid that the first bat from Earth crossed over into Oriceran.”
“Infecting a wizard and stealing their magic,” Nenet cut in, filling in part of the history.
“Exactly. And the first founder vampire was created,” Ata explained. “Khufu summoned the gods, and Ra, the god of the Sun, cursed vampires so they were unable to go out during the day.”
“And Osiris made them immortal in an attempt to create balance for the new species,” Nenet nodded.
Ata narrowed his eyes. “Osiris created monsters that were unstoppable.”
“I still don’t understand what this has to do with Khufu,” Nenet said.
“Vampires threatened Khufu’s ability to complete his greatest project.” Ata held his arms wide. “This very pyramid. No one hated vampires more than him. When Khufu was entombed, the gods who had battled over the powers of the vampires, buried their hatchet, so to speak, with the king that started it all.”
Ata paused, trying and failing to remove the lid from Khufu’s casket.
“I’m not completely following, but I’m guessing that’s because I’m missing important details,” Nenet stated.
“Yes, there’s more to the history. Most aren’t aware of it all,” Ata said, dropping his crook by his side and letting out a weighty sigh. “You see, the reason that vampires, specifically founders, aren’t allowed to enter the Great Pyramid is for their protection. The only thing that can end a founder is located right here.”
Ata pointed at the stone casket before them.
“Khufu?” Nenet gasped, stepping back, fearful for her end. My existence as a vampire has been miserable, though, she reasoned. I should be plotting my own immortal death, at this point.
Ata nodded. “The king holds the key to ending the founders’ reign.”
“But how were you able to break the enchantment that kept vampires out of here?”
“The spell stated that as long as Khufu slept, the wards would protect the vampires, keeping them out.”
A thud echoed on the other side of the stone lid.
Nenet jumped and then braced herself, smiling wide. “Oh! So you…”
“I’ve woken the sleeping king.”
“Which is how Cordelia and Hamilton and the rest of us have been able to enter the Great Pyramid,” Nenet said.
“Yes, and when I’ve figured out how to free him, you must get as far from this place as possible.” Ata’s voice was commanding, the tone he’d used when he was king.
“But you’re trying to open it now,” Nenet remarked hotly.
“With little hope that I’ll be successful,” Ata protested, shaking his head. “I’m only testing the bounds of the spell. This king was entombed with the notion that if he was ever awoken, it would be because a war with vampires was threatening to end all magic.”
“So this was a safeguard that the gods put into place to ensure that vampires didn’t take over Oriceran?” Nenet asked.
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nbsp; “Yes. Now I must undo a spell that a hundred witches and wizards performed to seal Khufu away.”
“If anyone can do it, it’s you, Ata.”
CHAPTER SIX
Azure threw the lamp down on the couch before flopping down in the chair beside it. The carriage was quiet, since most were still enjoying the festivities that would no doubt go on until the bonfires burned out. The wereanimals were still filled with insecurities, and their transition into the culture of Oriceran would take time, but Azure felt they’d made progress.
A bouncing noise shook Azure from sleep. She sat bolt upright to find Manx in goat form, kicking a ball across the marble floors of the large interior of the carriage. Blisters made to catch the object with his teeth, but stuck his horn straight through the inflated ball instead.
“That’s the third ball you’ve punctured!” Manx complained.
Blisters shook his head, but the ball didn’t budge off his horn. “I’m sorry. I’m really trying to be more careful.”
“What’s going on?” Azure asked, pushing up out of the deep seat, exhaustion making the task more difficult than it should be.
“Blisters is ruining everything, per usual,” Manx stated, jumping up onto the table and bleating at the unicorn.
“I’m not!” Blisters exclaimed, still shaking his head.
Azure held up a cautious hand to encourage Blisters not to shake his mane as she approached. She pulled the deflated ball from his horn.
“Why don’t you two find a different game to play,” she suggested.
“Like Russian Roulette?” Manx offered.
“Like Elements.” Azure pointed at the deck of cards she’d been using with Monet the day before.
“I think pin the tail on the unicorn would be better,” Manx stated.
Azure, unhurried, rotated her chin, giving him a cold stare. The pooka morphed into his black rabbit form, his nose twitching.
“Don’t try that sweet little bunny routine on me,” Azure warned.
“If you’re not too busy playing with the farm animals, I’d like a word,” Bob called from the couch. He’d slipped out of his lamp and now hovered in the air, sitting crossed-legged.
Azure rolled her eyes. There was definitely not going to be any rest for her. “What?”
“I seem to remember that you were trying to free me from this tiny, dank prison.” Bob cast his arm in the direction of the golden lamp lying on its side under him.
“Yes, I still plan on it,” Azure stated through a yawn. “I’ve just been busy.”
Bob tilted his head to the side, listening. “Is that music I hear?”
“Oh yes!” Blisters skipped over, nearly running into Azure as he passed on his way to the couch. “There’s a fun celebration going on for the wereanimals. You wouldn’t believe all the different kinds of food they are serving. Figs, berries, chocolate covered strawberries—which I’m not sure why you’d ruin chocolate like that. And there’s all sorts of cheeses. Cheddar, blue, gorgonzola, goat—”
Manx shifted back into his goat form and groaned. “I take offense to that.”
“I don’t believe you were milked to make the cheese,” Azure stated dryly as Monet and Ever entered the carriage.
“Oh, a party. With fine foods. And music,” Bob said bitterly. “That must be nice. I’d love to go to such a party, but as you might remember, Queen, I’m locked inside this closet you all call my home.”
“I can grab you a doggie bag, if you’d like,” Monet said, sounding amused.
Manx changed to his black dog form and barked.
“I think you’ve offended him,” Ever said.
Monet laughed. “And yet, I don’t give a damn.”
“You know damn well that I can’t eat while imprisoned in the lamp.” Bob threw his hairy arm to his forehead dramatically. “My miniscule confines curse me to never be hungry, sleep or suffer from old age.”
“And the problem is?” Monet asked, drawing out the last word.
“I have never really lived! Well, unless you count the time before I was imprisoned as a genie,” Bob stated. “I was a wealthy stakeholder in the foreign markets, and had a dozen wives.”
“What markets?” Ever asked.
Bob waved him off. “None of your concern. It had nothing to do with illegal activity or evil espionage that betrayed peaceful nations.”
Monet gave Azure a curious glance. “We never said it did.”
“Stop with the accusations!” Bob bellowed, throwing his arms into the air.
Azure let out a long breath. “Look, Bob, I still plan to free you. I’ve just been—”
“Yes, please free the wicked genie,” Monet teased, cutting her off.
“I’m not evil!” Bob argued.
“You just confessed!” Monet yelled.
“It’s not like I know ten effortless ways to kill a man with a single touch,” Bob said.
“But do you?” Monet asked.
“Ha! I only know of nine!” Bob said.
“Whether you’re a criminal or not, I still plan to free you from the lamp,” Azure cut in. “I just might have to lock you up in a bigger prison afterward.”
“And when do you plan on doing what you’ve promised, master?” Bob’s voice was full of his usual repugnance.
“As soon as I have a chance,” Azure stated.
Bob stared around the room. “You don’t look very busy right now.”
“I’m actually quite exhausted,” Azure said, yawning again.
Monet pulled a potion from his robe. “Why didn’t you say so? This will have you alert for the next seventy-two hours.”
He tossed the bottle through the air and it nearly slipped through Azure’s fingers as she caught it. “Thanks, but that’s a long time to be awake.”
“I haven’t slept in a fortnight and I’m completely fine,” Monet said, swatting at something in front of his face.
“What is it?” Ever asked, peering at him.
“It’s nothing.” Monet shook his head, swatting again. “Just appears that dust termites have infested the carriage.”
“Right,” Azure stated, slipping the potion into her robes.
“So it’s settled,” Bob said. “You’re setting off right now on your quest to free me. What does the next step include? You have to cut out your own kidney? Battle a deadly dragon? Drink poison?”
Azure’s eyes landed on the velvet box that the love expert had given her in Las Vegas. “No, I’m supposed to contain the essence of true love.”
Bob let out a disappointed sigh. “Well, we can only hope that it’s much deadlier than it sounds.”
“Didn’t that love expert say you should try the Eiffel Tower?” Monet asked.
Azure plucked the velvet box off the table, eyeing it. “Yes, according to her, there’s a high incident of people falling in love there, but who knows why?”
“It probably has to do with the gravitational constant of the location,” Blisters said, gaining the attention of everyone in the room.
Manx shifted into raven form and flew over, circling the miniature unicorn’s head. “What have you done with the real Blisters, you imposter?”
“Would you shush it, Manx,” Azure scolded. “I want to hear what Blisters has to say.”
Clearing his throat, Blisters continued. “The attractive force between two bodies is directly relative to their mass index and contrariwise comparative to the distance between them. The gravitational constant is a product of a spacetime curvature, which would be directly affected by the field of two cosmic bodies vibrating at the same frequency, due to the energy associated with love; although this would be quite difficult to measure with precise accuracy, due to the subjective quality of such a state.”
Everyone in the room blinked with astonishment.
“What the fuck just happened here?” Monet asked, breaking the silence.
“Uhhh…as interesting and perplexing as all of that is,” Azure began, “where did you learn this?”
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nbsp; Blisters’ face flushed pink. “It was a little bathroom reading. I thought I was checking out a book on psychics from the library, but it turned out to be on physics. I was disappointed, to say the least.”
“But you actually understood what you read?” Azure asked.
“Of course,” Blisters squeaked. “Unicorns have an incredibly strong memory and a great capacity for understanding deep concepts.”
“You just choose not to use this inherited trait,” Monet stated.
“I can name every single American Idol finalist in chronological order,” Blisters boasted, as if to prove his point. “Tamyra Gray, Justin Guarini, Ryan Starr—”
“What’s ‘American Idol’?” Azure asked, cutting him off.
“It’s a television show on Earth that I’m auditioning for,” Blisters stated boldly.
Azure shook her head, not even wanting to know how the unicorn had gotten access to the television show.
“Speaking of Earth,” Ever stated, “I’m happy to take you to the Eiffel Tower when you have time.”
“The queen has time now,” Bob said before Azure could reply.
She made a sound of annoyed protest, but it was drowned out by her friends all talking over one another.
“I want a souvenir,” Blisters sang. “A snow globe of the Eiffel Tower. Or a bottle of perfume. Oh, and the finest dark chocolates!”
“I think I should go along,” Monet said.
Manx shifted into black cat form, twitching his whiskers. “I’ll take a can of sardines upon your arrival.”
“Fine!” Azure yelled, quieting the loud requests. “I’ll go to Paris with Ever, but while I’m gone, I need you all to watch over the wereanimals. They are still very temperamental.”
“You heard the queen,” Monet barked. “Watch the wereanimals while we get drunk on French wines.”
Azure let out a sigh. “Monet, I actually need you to stay here.”
“Why?” her best friend complained. “You don’t think that idiot savant unicorn and good-for-nothing pooka can watch over a few thousand wereanimals who are high-strung and looking for a reason to get offended?”