by Lee, Tara
I cross my arms over my chest and stand taller.
"You need help." I say.
"I'm fine." He grunts.
"No, you're far from fine, Jensen. You’re fucking drunk every time I see you lately. You can't control your liquor, and you’re fucking losing the plot. Do you want to get fired?"
"No." He sits down on the floor.
"Well, let me help you, bro. Like you helped me."
He rubs his hands over his face, and I see tears in his eyes. He's not coping at all. The drinking isn't helping.
I place a hand on his arm, and he lifts his head and stares at me.
"How did I end up here?" he asks.
I shake my head. "Dude, it’s a lot to take in. But you let the drinking control you. You're in charge, man, not the bottle."
He nods, agreeing with me. But I'm not sure if he's actually hearing my words.
"Look," I say, squeezing his shoulder, "if you want to drown in your sorrows, then go for it. I won't stop you. But if you want to man up and find yourself, then go out and do it."
"So…" he says, shaking his head. "You're telling me, I can't run from the past. But I can embrace it and move on?"
I nod.
"Abso-fucking-loutely," I say, smirking at him.
"Thanks, bro," he says, that grin of his making a comeback.
"For what?"
"For kicking my ass, without actually kicking my ass."
I slap his shoulder and playfully shove him.
“Anytime bro. I mean who else but me is going to put you in your place every now and then," I say, giving him a wink.
He chuckles, but he knows I'm right.
I help him up, and we do that awkward guy thing where we want to spill our feelings but don't want to seem lame to our best friend.
Jensen goes to take a shower and sober up. I leave with a smile on my face because, to be honest, even though Jensen was an asshole to my woman, I didn't really want to have to kick his ass. I would have if he pushed me too far, but at the same time, he's always been there for me.
No matter what was happening in his life, he always made sure I knew he had my back. He is like the brother I always wanted. One who actually gives a shit about me. It's crazy how much I actually depend on Jensen. Even now when I think back to when we were growing up, if I needed him, he was there. He may be my best friend, but he doesn’t know how much that actually means to me—having him in my life, him always having my back, always being on my side no questions asked—well, apart from when Charli and I were figuring things out, but of course he's going to side with his sister.
Growing up the way I did, if it wasn't for Jensen, I would’ve gone crazy or worse ended it.
There were times when I was a teenager, that I thought I could end it all. That everything would go away. That my life wouldn't seem so shitty. But I came to my senses and realized life was too short—especially after Mr. and Mrs. Parker died.
Their deaths were a huge wake-up call for me. When that happened, I knew no matter how shitty my life was, nothing compared to what both Jensen and Charli were going through.
That's when I started to notice Charli. One look from her, and I couldn't imagine being anywhere she wasn't.
It’s funny how life can go in one direction then do a complete somersault and twist you in the other direction.
But life can also give you a second chance. One I know Jensen deserves. He deserves to be happy to find someone to share his life with. Maybe going to find his birth parents could lead him to someone. Hell, if I can have someone as incredible as Charli fall in love with my ass, Jensen sure as hell can.
* * *
The next day Jensen is at the door. I frown because I thought he had to work today. What’s he doing here?
“Hey, what’s up?” I ask, worried.
He comes inside, and I follow him as he sits down on the sofa. Charli is out with Harmony, having a girl’s day.
“Is everything okay, Jens?” I ask as I plop down next to him.
He chuckles and shakes his head.
“Cam thinks I need to take some time off. He rang me last night, telling me he’s not asking, he’s telling me to take the day off,” he says with a sigh.
His boss is probably right. He’s been all over the place lately. Some time off would do him good.
“Okay, so what’s wrong with some time off?” I ask quietly
He runs his fingers through his hair. It’s then I notice how messy it looks. It’s like he just got out of bed.
“I don’t need time off. I’m okay. I need everyone to stop treating me like I’m this fragile guy who’s going to break at any moment. I’m handling it. I just need everyone to get off my back.” He stands up frustrated.
His tune is different from yesterday. When I left his house, he was all about fixing himself. But now… What happened after I left for him to change his mind?
I stare at him as he paces in front of me
It’s then I notice his clothes are wrinkled, and he doesn’t look like himself.
I clear my throat, knowing he’s going to get pissed at me for asking.
“Are you drunk right now?” I ask.
He snaps his head to me and frowns.
He throws his hands up in the air and lets out an exhausted breath. Then he shakes his head and curses under his breath.
“Just fucking great. Why did I think I could talk to you? You’re just like everyone else. Judging me.”
He turns to walk away, and I grab his arm before he can stop me. He looks down at where my hand has a tight grip on his arm.
He shrugs me off and moves to walk off again. I chase after him.
“Jens, wait,” I say, stopping him before he reaches the front door.
“You can talk to me. I’m worried about you, man. You haven’t been the same since you read that letter. And as much as you don’t want to admit it, it's fucking screwing with your head.”
He stops and hangs his head as he lets out a couple breaths. He slowly turns, and I can see the pain hidden there.
I clap my hand over his shoulder.
“Look, you’ve been there for me through everything. For Charli too. Let us help you. You’re my best friend, and you're my family. I hate seeing you like this. Please, just let me help.”
I know I’m begging now, but I want him to hear me. Really hear me. He’s not coping, and the longer he denies, it the more he’ll struggle.
He finally listens and goes back to the couch. I let out a sigh because I don’t know how to fix him. He won’t talk to me, but I know he needs help.
“I’m angry all the fucking time, man,” he finally says after we sit for a while.
I give him a sad smile because that I can tell.
He continues not waiting for my reply, “I just feel like it's been too long. Too much time has passed. And if I try to find them now…” He stops taking a breath. “I just want this to go away. But no matter how hard I try, I have a million questions running around in my head. The drinking seems to erase some of it. It makes me forget why I’m so sad, why I’m so angry all the time.”
“Dude, why didn't you tell me this was how you felt?” I ask, placing a hand on his shoulder.
He sniffs.
“I didn’t want to seem weak… like I needed someone else to fix my problems for me. Everything in my life as always been easy except for losing Mom and Dad at eighteen, but I had a blessed life up until then. Finding out my parents weren’t who they said they were, and finding out that I came from somewhere else…” He shakes his head. “It sounds stupid when I say it out loud. You’d think I was a ten-year-old girl instead of the twenty-six-year-old man sitting here.”
“Nothing wrong with talking about your feelings, Jensen. It doesn’t make me think any less of you. You know that, right?”
He looks at me and gives me a sad smile. “I’ve just always fixed everything. But this I can’t fix. Well, I don’t know how. I mean how do I just go to them and say here I am, sorry i
t took so long?”
I nod. “Dude, that's exactly what you do. I mean once you explain that you knew nothing until a few months ago, I know they’ll accept you with open arms. You just have to believe that yourself.”
He let out a deep breath and places his head in his heads.
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ve been too hard on myself. Maybe I need to accept that no matter what happens, I’ll at least have the answers I’ve been searching for.”
“Yeah, of course, and like I said, I’ll come down there with you.”
“No,” he says, smiling.
“This is something I need to do on my own. I need to face this and the reality that it might not be what I was hoping for. All these years I’ve questioned who I was and why I felt so empty… I thought it was losing my parents. I mean that's a part of it, but it goes deeper than that. I think I finally need to face the truth and go find my birth parents. Find out the reason why they gave me up.”
I nod and draw him in for a hug. I know he doesn’t want to face this because he fears rejection. But I know it’ll be for the better if he does. Nothing like facing the music, I guess. I just hope his parents aren’t complete assholes and tell him a fucked-up reason as to why they deserted him.
Maybe in time he can move on and be as happy as he deserves to be.
For now, I’ll help him as much as I can, all while taking care of my girls.
Epilogue
Eli
MONTHS LATER…
“HARMONY, BE CAREFUL PLEASE,” I call out to my little girl who’s trying to run around the backyard and keep up with her uncle.
Harmony started walking properly at ten months old. But she still has a few moments of not being steady on her feet. Her little legs want to go faster than her body will allow, but it’s cute to watch her.
Time has flown by, and I can't believe our little girl is a year old
When Charli became pregnant so soon after Harmony, we weren’t sure if we were ready or not for another. Getting pregnant with Madeline when Harmony was less than six months old means the girls will grow up close friends.
Jensen chases her as she squeals, and I can't help but chuckle.
He's amazing with her even though he's been going through a lot. When he went looking for his birth parents, what he found wasn't what he expected. She wasn't what he expected at all.
They're helping each other heal, and I couldn't be happier for my brother-in-law.
It’s times like these that I know how truly lucky I am.
Charli comes up beside me.
She giggles at Jensen chasing Harmony as her little legs try to get away from him. He lifts her up. She squeals in delight, grasping his face and giving him a big, wet, sloppy kiss.
"How are you doing, Mama?" I ask Charli who sits down in the chair, resting her feet.
It’s been a lot, but we couldn't be happier to be adding to our family. For Harmony to be a big sister and give her someone else to play with.
"Okay. A little tired. She's kicking my ass, this one."
I chuckle because Charli is right. This little one has given her a run for her money. Charli has been sick constantly and had to go on bedrest last month because of complications. Nothing too major but the doctors were concerned for her and our daughter's health.
I lean down and place a kiss on her head.
"You need anything?"
She sighs, and I know she's exhausted but wants to watch Harmony with Jensen.
"Maybe a foot rub?"
"Yes, ma'am," I say, sitting down in front of her and start rubbing her swollen feet. She's having trouble walking, but she hates being inside all the time.
She hates not being able to do things with Harmony.
She sighs and moans as I rub her feet, making sure I get every inch.
I kiss her ankle, and she smiles.
"That feels good."
"Really? Well, since you’re loving it so much maybe I'll rub your feet for the rest of the day."
She laughs. "I won't stop you. "
I kiss her ankle again then slip my hand up her leg and caress her calf as well.
"Eli? " she questions. But that's not what I had in mind. I just want her to feel good.
"Just feel, baby. That's all I want."
And she does. I make sure she feels every caress, every touch, until she's sleeping peacefully on the chair.
Jensen chuckles behind me when he comes up carrying Harmony.
"Mommy’s asleep, baby girl. Maybe we should go inside huh?" Harmony nods at her uncle even though she didn't really understand what he said.
I swear these two have a bond like no other. She's definitely a daddy's girl, but she loves Uncle Jensen too. And I know he would die for her. He never really wanted kids, but after holding her and bonding with her over the last year I think he's gotten baby fever. I can see a few kids in his future. But that's what I want. A house full of all our kids running around, playing, and growing up with each other.
I carry Charli inside and take her to bed. She snores softly as I cover her with the blanket and leave the room.
Life can’t get more perfect. I truly am blessed. I couldn't have asked for a better family.
* * *
A WEEK LATER…
The first time I stared into the eyes of our second daughter is one of those moments I’ve tucked into my heart to keep forever—along with the look on Charli’s face the first time I told her I loved her, holding Harley in my arms, pledging my forever to Charli, kissing Harmony the day she was born.
It’s hard to believe Madeline Amber King is finally here. Our seven-pound baby is a happy, healthy, little girl. Her big sister adores her and has since the first time she saw her. Those two will be best friends. I just know it.
Charli is staring at me as I hold our little girl.
"Close your eyes, baby. Rest. I've got her," I say, kissing Madeline's head. Charli smiles at me and closes her eyes. Having a newborn and a mobile toddler is exhausting.
Madeline stirs a little. I hold her to my chest, comforting her. Softly, I start to hum to her. I'm thankful it works as well on her as it did on Harmony.
Harmony is with Jensen. He's become quite the uncle. I think he's obsessed with Harmony. Every time I mention to him about getting baby fever, he tells me to shut up.
But I’d be lying if I didn't say the affection doesn't go both ways. Harmony, of course, is all about Uncle Jensen. She’s always attached to him when he’s around. I'd be jealous except she’ll always be my little girl, no matter what her uncle tries to tell her.
Even though Charli hasn’t long given birth to Madeline, I already know I want another baby. It’s crazy, and maybe so am I. But looking at my girls’ faces just makes me fall more in love every day. Harmony has become quite the character, and her personality is something. She'll be a sassy little thing one day. God help her future husband one day. No wait, she's never getting married. Well, maybe when she's forty. No, actually when I'm no longer here, then she can. My girls will be nuns.
I scold myself because Charli won’t let that happen.
"I don't see that happening, baby girl," I whisper to Madeline.
She gives me a small smile, and I have to chuckle because even though she doesn't understand a word I'm saying, it’s like she’s trying to tell me, "Yeah right, Daddy. You have your work cut out for you having girls."
I'm sure that's probably true. When I told the guys we were having another girl, they all laughed at me and said it was payback for how I was before Charli.
Carter said, “Every player needs a little girl.”
What would I do if they brought home a guy like me or any of my friends for that matter?
I'd probably kill them, and I'd be damned if I'd let them hurt my little girls.
Okay, so no more girls. Maybe we need boys next. I wonder what Charli would think of that.
I shake my head at myself because even though Madeline is asleep, I'm having this mental conversation with
her.
* * *
MONTHS LATER…
Today’s the anniversary of our losing Harley. Charli, our girls, and I are spending the morning telling him all about what’s been happening. Harmony drew him a picture, and we framed it to leave here with him. Madeline doesn't have a clue where we are or what we’re doing. But I like to think Harley knows we’re here.
Charli wipes the tears off her cheeks. I lean over and kiss her, wrapping my arm around her. It hasn't gotten any easier, but I know with time it will. Well, at least that's what everyone keeps telling us.
Who knows what our future holds? If time has told me anything, it’s that anything can happen, and we should never take anything for granted.
Life has a way of throwing everything at us at once just to test us. I used to think Charli would always find someone better, someone who deserved her more. But when I look over at my wife, nothing will ever take her away from me. She is mine and always will be.
I’d taken too many chances with her. She was my lifeline. I know life’s about taking chances and finding seconds chances. It’s shown me that no matter what we do and no matter how hard we try, new beginnings will happen. Doesn't matter if we plan for them or not.
The End!
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Find Book 1 in The Pleasant Grove series- Taking Chances
ISBN-10: 1986883574
ISBN-13: 978-1986883573