For the first time in months, with the lights off and blankets kicked to her feet, Lauren stared at the ceiling and realized she felt alone.
August 27th
I’m so sick of having to keep secrets from everyone. I never realized how tiring lying can be. It’s like I have to run through a dossier of what each person in my life knows or doesn’t know. And then I have the panic of trying to control conversations when two people with different sets of knowledge are speaking to each other. I’m always on edge, anticipating a slip, just waiting for someone to say the wrong thing.
Ali - Knows I slept with Landon and had feelings for him but doesn’t know I’m working with him and still communicate with him on a near daily basis. Doesn’t know anything about my business or what I’ve been doing professionally.
Parker - Knows I know Landon professionally but doesn’t know anything about our personal relationship, though I get the feeling he’s starting to suspect. Of course, he doesn’t know anything about MyBFC.
Nick - Doesn’t know anything about anyone or anything. That’s the worst part. The one person in my life that I should be able to share everything with and I can’t tell him anything! How the fuck am I supposed to repair our relationship?
Landon - Ironically, he’s the only one who knows everything...and he’s 3,000 miles away...and he’s the one person I shouldn’t be close to.
Damon - No comment. The man could probably take one look at me and figure this all out in an instant. I’m glad he’s been mysteriously keeping his distance.
I’ve managed to paint myself into a nice, tight little corner and I hope it’s all worth it.
Screw this stasis shit. Ali’s right. I’ve gotta take control of at least one part of my life. I need to stop asking Nick to work around me. I need to start making some sacrifices of my own.
10.
Lauren pressed save and checked the time, for once happily running ahead of schedule. She’d messaged Nick the typical, “I’m working late” text but was actually going to surprise him at work. Grabbing the bag she’d packed earlier, Lauren planned to save time by getting ready at the MyBFC office. The shower was so much better than the one in her apartment, making it difficult to pry herself from the amazing water pressure. As she got dressed in her bedroom she thought, It might be good to have this extra space at first. That way Nick can move back in but I have a place where I can go if things get too tense. Something to think about I suppose.
Skin still damp from the shower, she hopped up and down trying to squeeze into the a pair of skin-tight jeans she knew Nick loved. All the effort caused a fresh layer of sweat to pop out, an uncomfortable sensation Lauren despised. Patting herself dry with the towel, she spritzed herself with perfume and stood in front of the AC to cool down. Finishing the outfit, a thin tank pulled over her dark bra with a mess of necklaces and bracelets. Quickly tying her white Chuck Taylors, she was almost out the door when she realized she hadn’t turned off her computer.
A message was waiting from Landon, sent ten minutes prior. Lauren sat on the edge of her chair and quickly replied.
Landon: Hey, are you there? I have an odd favor to ask of you
Lauren: I’m here, what do you need?
Landon: I need the resumes of everyone that works at StyleSpur...preferably matched to photos
Lauren: That is odd. What for?
Landon: I can’t tell you yet
A low groan escaped her throat, sounding a bit like Marge Simpson.
Lauren: I’m getting pretty tired of you doing things behind my back. I thought I made that clear. I thought we were partners in this
besides, you’re asking me to directly break the law. That has to be breaking some type of information privacy law or something
Her fingers pounded the keys as if he could feel her angry keystrokes from a distance.
Landon: most definitely is but I wouldn’t ask you to do it if it weren’t important, trust me.
Lauren: and what if I don’t?
Landon: I’m doing this to help you, to help us.
Lauren: but you can’t tell me what it’s about?
As the tiny animated pencil moved, indicating he was typing, Lauren crossed her arms and shook her head, looking out the window. She resented the control he had over her life. He hadn’t proved untrustworthy but it wasn’t the first time it occurred to her she didn’t really know him all that well. Plus, here she was trying to enjoy a fraction of free time and yet again, work was pulling her back in.
Landon: just please trust that this is very important and something I think you’d be happy I’m doing.
Lauren: fine. I’m not sure what I can do about the photos. Might have to be a group picture or something
Landon: that’s perfect. thank you
She snatched her purse off the floor and stormed toward the elevator. An internal monologue of expletives coursed through her mind, mostly directed back on herself. All the trouble she dealt with and complained about was entirely her fault. She’d asked for all of this. The brisk walk calmed her mind. Lauren realized that was part of the point of meeting up with Nick, to draw that line in the sand and declare what she was willing to give up and what was worth holding on to.
Lauren got to Pony Up just before last call, eager to help Nick close up and get home early as she’d done dozens of times before. As she stepped in, she immediately noticed that half the bar was already shut down, half the lights switched off. A quick scan revealed a couple sitting close in a dark booth, a few older regulars finishing up their pints, and Nick behind the bar restocking the beer fridges. She glanced at the spot where Ali had said the mystery woman sat but the stool was upside down on the bar. Lauren grinned as she rounded the corner to the open end of the bar.
“Hey you!” she purred striking a pose.
Nick did a double take before jumping to his feet. “Wren! What are you doing here?” The surprise was evident on his face as he came closer. He quickly kissed her, still wide-eyed. “I wasn’t expecting you. I thought you were working late.”
“I know, that’s the point of surprises,” she smirked. “Let me help you close down, we’ll grab a slice, and go home?”
“Umm, I guess we—”
A throaty voice called out behind her, “Nick, I think you’re out of Rolling Rock.” Lauren turned to see a tall, curvy woman approaching from the back carrying a case of beer. Stepping past Lauren like she didn’t exist, she set it down on the floor and wiped her forehead with a napkin.
“Oh! Hey, I’m Lauren. You must be new, we haven’t met.”
The woman stood and laughed, looking at Nick like it was some inside joke. “Oh, that’s so funny! I don’t work here. I was just helping out Nicky.” Nicky? Lauren thought.
He took a big step away placing himself directly between them and said, “Rose, this is my girlfriend Lauren.”
It was the way he said “girlfriend.” It was the way Rose’s body stiffened when she looked back at her, as if sizing her up. It was the tension she felt between them that made Lauren instantly know this was the mystery woman. She flipped her long, auburn hair over her shoulder and said hello again with a tight smile, scarlet lips pressed together. Nick pulled Lauren to the other side of the bar and sat her down, doing his best to seem normal.
“Why don’t you head back to the apartment and I’ll meet you there? She’s helping me out already so closing will go quick.”
“I’d rather just stay here if it’s all the same to you,” said Lauren studying his eyes.
“Alright, yeah, cool! Lemme grab you a drink so you can relax,” he said, unable to meet her gaze.
Lauren took a deep breath, took out her phone, and tried to do just that. Like they had a mind of their own, her fingers immediately typed out a message to Ali.
What does Nick’s mystery girl look like?
The ellipses popped up indicating she was replying. Oh, thank God she’s there...
In a word, buxom. why?
With a lump in her thro
at, she casually raised the phone as if she were playing an intense game. Waiting for the right second, she snapped a picture of Rose as she was collapsing boxes. She sent the photo with the reply.
Is this her?
...
Winner, winner, chicken dinner! Wait, are you there now?!
...
Yeah. Thought I’d surprise Nick. Surprise!!
...
Remember, swing with your whole body, not just your arm. Power comes from the hips. She’s a tall bitch but you’ve got chutzpah
...
Cute
Ugh, what does it matter if he’s been flirting with her? I mean, it’s pretty obvious she wants him but I don’t think Nick would ever do something like that. Considering everything I’ve done, it’s best to just leave it unsaid. If we decide to make a fresh start then it all doesn’t matter anyway.
They grabbed a cab back to the apartment, holding hands and smiling demurely at each other all the way upstairs. It was late, so Jess was already in bed and the apartment quiet. Once in their bedroom, Lauren scrambled around trying to tidy up her clutter.
“I’ve really let myself go, haven’t I?” she joked as she tossed an armful of clothes on the floor. “I should pay Jess to clean for me. I know she cringes every time she—” Her voice fell away as she saw the look on his face.
Nick watched from the center of the room, his expression unreadable. “I missed you,” his whispered. It just about broke her heart.
“I missed you, too,” she said stepping in front of him. She looked up into his crystal blue eyes and saw a genuine yearning.
“I thought I’d lost you forever.” Nick traced the outline of her jaw, pausing to lift her chin. His soft kiss sent a shiver down her back.
They paused to gaze at each other and she said, “I’m here.”
Standing on her toes, she circled her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. She held him tight, as if to show how much she meant what she said. His strong arms wrapped around her waist and picked her up. Lauren giggled against his mouth. As he carried her to the bed, she kissed his cheeks, his chin, his nose in rapid fire. Laughing, he gentle placed her on the bed, crawling up her body from her feet.
The kissing started off slowly but the abstinence had pushed Lauren’s libido to the breaking point. Even if she wanted to, there was no taking it slow. Her hands slipped under his shirt, pawing at his familiar, muscular body. She threw her leg over his waist and pulled him close, clawing playfully at his back. Her pussy already throbbed, aching for him to push inside. She toyed with the waistband of his jeans before shifting quickly and diving into his underwear.
Their lips still locked, Lauren couldn’t help the small grunt that emerged when she felt his limp cock. Her brow furrowed, she pulled back and looked at him questioningly.
“I’m sorry hon, I guess I’m just too tired. It’s nothing to do with you, I promise.”
“Well maybe I can kick start the engine a little,” she said shimmying down while licking her lips.
He grabbed her shoulders, firmly. “No, it’s fine really. I need to shower, I’m tired. Why don’t we just cuddle for a little while and go to sleep. I’m sure you’ve gotta be up early.”
“It’s alright, don’t worry about it!” she kissed him on the cheek and hugged him. “We don’t have to do anything. I’m just glad you’re here.” His face brightened and he squeezed her back.
“Come here, you.”
Lauren had to admit she was a little surprised that Nick hadn’t been up to the challenge, so to speak, but it wasn’t the first time it’d happened to them. I probably put too much pressure on him showing up like I did. Still, it was the first time he’d never even let her try to get him going...
11.
Despite the previous night not going exactly as she’d hoped, Lauren woke up next to Nick feeling genuinely happy. They hadn’t talked, they hadn’t resolved anything, but breaking down this one intimate wall felt like a step in the right direction. He didn’t have to go into the Pony until later, so she slipped out of bed quietly, showered, and got dressed without disturbing him. As she wrote a message for him on a sticky note, she paused to look at him. He’d stretched out into her side of the bed, his thick leg poking out of the sheets. His tanned back rose and fell with deep, restful breaths and it was all she could do to not run her fingers through the mess of hair splashed across the pillow. She stuck the note on his phone and reread it, hesitating on the last line.
Hope you slept well!
see you tonight
I love you
The heatwave had technically broke, the projected high only in the low 80’s. The morning air felt comparatively cool and Lauren got off the train a few stops before her normal station to walk and enjoy the weather. Grabbing the last everything bagel and cream cheese plus a cup of bitter coffee from the corner store, Lauren practically skipped the ten blocks to work. The crowded sidewalks and blaring car horns did nothing to diminish her good mood. In fact, she was even surprising herself with how chipper she felt. She was careful to not focus too much on it, fearing her habit of over-thinking would cause everything to topple like a tower of cards.
Just before lunch, Parker said something that upset Faith, who ran to the bathroom desperately trying to hide her tears. His wrath still not drained, he rounded on Lauren, calling her in for a private talk. Even he couldn’t sour her day. Rochelle was proving a natural at coding, breezing through all the beginner modules on Codeacademy. She was really showing an interest in their code base, relentlessly drilling Amit with questions. It made Lauren smile. Although he pretended to get annoyed with her constant badgering, she could tell he enjoyed tutoring someone with a genuine desire to learn. Doesn’t hurt she’s as cute as a button. I’m really getting to like her...I’ll talk to Parker about offering her a job when her internship is finished. I’m sure we could find a spot for her. I’d even take her under my wing if she was interested.
Rather than head straight over to the MyBFC office after work, she decided to phone up Dennis and to check in.
“Anything I should know about?”
“Eh, not really,” he said. It sounded like he was stretching in his seat. “Just a couple emails from boss-man, but nothing important. You coming over?”
“Nope!” she declared proudly as she walked down the street. “I’m taking the night for myself.”
“Gonna go out and get a manicure and a pedicure?” he playfully mocked.
“Come on. If anything, I’m more a martini and pot-sticker kind of girl. Let me know if you need anything.”
After hanging up, she texted Ali.
Okay, I’m here...and shitting myself.
It was true. Her stomach felt full of churning acid and she feared she might throw up. Earlier that morning she’d told Ali what had happened with Nick. Her response had been, “Sounds like you need to turn your seduction up to 11. Let me take care of this.” A half hour later Lauren received a text from a waxing salon confirming her 6 p.m. Brazilian. Any other day in any other mood she would’ve said no, but this day, she rolled with it. Good mood or not, she was still nervous as hell.
Ali arrived at the park looking sly and excited. She grabbed Lauren’s hand and yanked her down the street.
“So okay, how much does it hurt? Like, on a scale of one to ten?”
“Ten,” Ali said bluntly, pressing the crosswalk button.
“You aren’t helping much,” Lauren groaned.
“What part of it sounds like it wouldn’t hurt? The hot wax? Ripping hair out by the roots? It fucking hurts but you’ll thank me. Nick will thank me.”
Ali marched down the street, Lauren struggling to keep up with her long strides. “I’ve never even waxed my legs before.”
This stopped Ali dead in her tracks. “Wait, really? You’re serious?” Lauren nodded, sensing a glimmer of hope that she might be able to wuss out on a technicality. Maybe waxing has to be done in stages and I’m jumping too many steps. Ali looked around and de
clared, “Alright, you’re gonna need a little liquid courage then. There.”
Two shops down, the pair ducked into a dark Irish bar that was already filling with the after work crowd. Ali went straight to the bar and ordered two double shots of tequila.
“Here, this’ll help,” she said handing Lauren the drink. She didn’t need to tell her twice.
A couple minutes later, they entered a nondescript door, walked up a flight of stairs, and were sat in a tiny waiting room. The tequila had calmed her nerves but it remained to be seen if it’d dull the pain.
“Sandra is the best in the city, I swear it.”
“I didn’t know you did this kind of thing.”
“Of course! I’m warning you though, once you start you won’t want to stop. Plus, it hurts less the more times you get it done. Kind of a vicious circle like that.”
“Probably because they pull all your nerve endings out as well,” she said bitterly.
The receptionist called her name and she shot to her feet. Ali gave her a quick smile, wished her luck, and reached for a magazine.
“No, no, no. Nuh-uh. You’re coming with me. You’re coming in there with me, right?” Lauren didn’t care how panicked her voice sounded.
“Really? You think we’re ready to take are relationship to that level? You don’t mind spreadin’ wide with me in the room?”
“Sweetie, I’m about to spread wide for a complete stranger and pay her for the privilege. You’re coming with me.”
Playing with Power - Book 3: New Adult Office Romance Page 6