by Ali Parker
“I mean…” she started.
Jerrod narrowed his eyes at me. “What is she talking about?”
I shook my head, but I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t redeem myself from it with a lie that would make sense.
“You’re pregnant?” Jerrod asked.
A lump rose in my throat, and I felt like I was going to choke to death on the panic that came with how Jerrod was looking at me. When I didn’t answer, Jerrod closed his eyes.
“I don’t have to guess who the father is, do I?”
It was a rhetorical question. Good thing, because I still couldn’t answer him.
“Fuck, Mila,” Jerrod said with so much force that I cringed away from him. He spun around and stormed out of my apartment, slamming the door behind him so hard the windows rattled.
“Thanks a lot, Sky,” I said.
“Oh, God. I’m so sorry,” Skylar said.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get a hold of myself.
“Just leave.”
“Mila,” Skylar said.
I shook my head. I didn’t have the energy for another screaming match.
“Get out,” I said. My voice was calm and controlled, and it was even scarier than my anger, even to me.
Skylar looked like she wanted to say something, but maybe she knew that there was nothing she could do to fix what had just happened. She nodded slowly and stood up without another word. When she was gone, I turned and walked to my room. Just when I had thought I’d reached the limit of how bad things could be.
Chapter 61
Ben
Late afternoon on Saturday I drove to Mila’s place to pick her up.
I was nervous about seeing Mila, and I wasn’t sure why. I knew her. We had spent so much time together in New York. When I was around Mila, I felt comfortable and at ease and completely able to be myself.
So, it was very out of place to feel nervous. I didn’t get nervous very often as a rule.
When I arrived at Mila’s place and buzzed up to her apartment, she came down almost immediately. Had she been waiting for me? I liked to think so.
When she appeared, my heart skipped a beat. She looked amazing in jeans and a green blouse with ballerina flats. Her hair had been pulled back, and she looked beautiful as ever.
I had fallen for her for a reason. Not only because of her beauty, but she was also a wonderful person, and I hated the idea of having to leave her behind yet again. I really was in love with her.
Which was exactly the kind of thing I shouldn’t have been thinking about. I pushed the thoughts away because love wasn’t enough. It didn’t make the debt go away, and it hadn’t stopped Mila from getting hurt. In fact, it was one of the reasons she had been taken – because she was involved with me.
Leaving for New York was still the best thing I could do for Mila, no matter how much I hated the idea of being away from her. I would have loved to be with her, to date her, to love her. I could make anything happen with my money except for this.
When she came out of the building, I climbed out of my car and gave her a hug. I was relieved to see that she looked a lot better than when I had seen her last. She looked healthy again, with color in her cheeks, and she smiled when she saw me.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
She nodded. “Much better, thank you. It’s a process, but I’m getting there.”
I was only going to say goodbye. That had been my plan when I’d come here. But now that I saw her, I wanted to spend time with her.
“Where are we going?” Mila asked me.
“I was thinking we could go to that restaurant again,” I said.
Mila nodded slowly. “Even though you’re leaving?”
I sighed. “I am leaving again. I know it’s a big thing for us. But I want to spend time with you. I want to have a night where we forget about everything that went wrong, everything that did or didn’t happen between us and be together. What do you think?”
Mila looked over my shoulder, thinking about it. I waited for her to come to her conclusion and hoped that she would want to spend time with me. But if she didn’t, if this was only to be a goodbye and nothing else, I would respect that.
“I think I’d like that,” Mila finally said. “God knows I can do with a bit of a distraction.”
I nodded, smiling. I was glad she wanted to spend time with me. I opened the car door for her, and Mila climbed in.
When I was next to her behind the wheel, I pulled out of the parking spot and turned the car toward the coast.
We got a table at the window again the way we always did. When we ordered our drinks, I ordered a beer.
“I’ll just have water, for now, thank you,” Mila said.
“You’re not having something to drink? A glass of wine or a cocktail?” I asked after the waitress left.
Mila shook her head. “It’s uhm…my head. I get worried about my headaches.”
“Are you still struggling with your concussion?” I asked. I was suddenly worried that her injuries had been more serious than I’d thought.
“Not really. I’m just being careful.”
I nodded. I could understand that. Mila looked uncomfortable so I changed topics. It was understandable that she didn’t want to talk about anything that had happened.
“Thank you for seeing me today,” I said. “I appreciate being able to spend time with you.”
Mila pulled up her shoulders. “I wasn’t doing anything better with my time.”
“Oh, wow,” I said and laughed. “Burn me like that.”
Mila chuckled. “Don’t tell me you can’t handle a quip from little ol’ me. You’re a big businessman. You should be able to handle it.”
“Running a company and handling a woman are two very different things,” I laughed.
“Yeah? You seem to be well-versed in both, then.”
I laughed. She was being cute, flirting with me like nothing was wrong. Like we were just two people spending time together – and there wasn’t so much hanging over us. I enjoyed spending time with Mila for exactly this reason. No matter how hard things got, she stayed in control of herself and didn’t change. It was rare to find someone who was this stable.
She fell silent and looked out at the ocean. Her expression was solemn, proof that she had been through a lot and wasn’t as carefree as she made it seem most of the time.
“Is everything okay?” I asked. “Are you still struggling?”
Mila shrugged her shoulders. Her eyes slid from the window to the table, not making any eye contact with me.
“I get nightmares sometimes, flashbacks that freak me out. But I think that will change with time and patience.”
I reached for her hand across the table.
“I’m so sorry this happened,” I said. I felt terrible.
“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do this,” Mila said, finally looking at me. Her big brown eyes were sadder than I’d ever seen them. I wished I could make all of this go away, give her the happiness she deserved. It didn’t help that I was leaving, on top of everything. I knew that it would affect her negatively, too. But it was for her safety. I had to keep telling myself that. I was doing the right thing.
“I still feel like it’s my fault,” I admitted. “It’s because of the company and everything my dad did.”
“So, you inherited some family issues. You wouldn’t be the first one,” she said with a chuckle. I smiled. Mila was always ready to look at the bright side and shrug the pain off. But I was still worried about her.
After our meal, Mila and I headed toward the beach. We took off our shoes and walked with our toes in the sand. This was one of my new favorite things to do. I had grown up in Portland; I had been to the beach so many times. But I had never loved it as much as I did when I was walking along the shore with Mila. As we talked and joked and laughed, all the worries drifted away on the wind. While we were on the beach, the wind tugging at our clothes and the sand soft under our feet, I coul
d pretend that everything was perfect. Nothing terrible had happened to Mila. Her brother didn’t hate us being together. I wasn’t leaving. Everything was perfect.
I would hold onto this for as long as I could.
When we climbed back into the car after we had spent ages walking up and down the stretch of beach, the sun had set, and the darkness acted like a buffer that wrapped around us and stopped tomorrow from haunting me. Mila sighed.
“I don’t want tonight to be over.”
She felt the same way I did.
“Do you want to come to my place?” Mila asked. “Not to do anything…you know. Just to spend more time together.” I couldn’t tell in the darkness in the car, but I was almost sure she blushed.
I smiled. “I’d love to.”
I turned the ignition and pulled out of the beach parking lot. We drove through the city back to Mila’s apartment. I parked on the road, and we walked into the building.
In the apartment, Mila sat down on the floor in front of the television and opened the drawer with Blu-ray DVDs.
“What do you want to watch?” she asked.
“You choose,” I offered.
She glanced at me as if she wanted to argue but instead, she picked one from the drawer.
“Is Serendipity okay?” she asked.
I nodded, smiling. I had expected her to choose a love story. It was sweet; I liked that she was thinking of love while she was with me. Even though nothing would come of it.
The moment I thought it, I shoved the thought away again. Tonight, Mila and I were escaping from reality. We were together as if nothing was wrong – as if nothing would ever be wrong. And I would keep pretending for as long as I could.
“Do you mind if I get into something more comfortable?” Mila asked.
I shook my head, and she disappeared into the bedroom. When she came back, she wore pajama pants and a t-shirt. She looked amazing, as always.
After offering me coffee, we sat together on the couch and started the movie. It didn’t take long before Mila moved closer to me. I lifted my arm and put it around her, holding her close to me. She cuddled up to me, and we watched the movie together.
I loved having her this close. I wanted to spend all my time with Mila, to be around her and keep her safe. When she was with me like this, I felt like I could keep her safe. No one was going to be able to take her away from me as long as I was with her.
It was the opposite of what I had been thinking for so long, and for a moment, I wondered if staying might be a better idea. Was it really the best thing to leave her? But I had things to take care of, still. And I had to do the right thing when my father hadn’t. I had to be the bigger man.
Chapter 62
Mila
Ben had his arm wrapped around me and his body heat enveloped me. I felt safe and warm with him. His chest rose and fell slowly as he concentrated on the movie. His face was close to mine. When I glanced up, his lips were almost at eye-level, and I couldn’t help but stare at them.
Once upon a time, I had crushed on him, and I had fantasized over what those lips tasted like. Now, I knew. I had been there. We had kissed each other many times over the past several weeks. But it wasn’t enough. With Ben, it was never enough.
Ben realized I was staring at him, and he looked down at me with a smile.
“You’re not concentrating on the movie,” he said.
“I’ve seen it,” I said softly.
Ben’s expression changed. Maybe he knew what I was thinking. Sometimes, he seemed to know exactly where my head was at. My eyes slid to his lips, and Ben put his free hand on my cheek, dipping his head to press his lips against mine.
The kiss started off gently, his lips brushing against mine, his tongue trailing a thin line on my lower lip.
I opened my mouth to let him in, and Ben explored my mouth.
The kissing slowly turned from something gentle and caring to deep and passionate. He held me close to him as if he was worried I would drift away, and he kissed me like there was no tomorrow.
Maybe, for us, there wasn’t.
It only made me want more of him. All of him.
Sexual tension built in the air around us. I twisted my body, and when it wasn’t comfortable, I broke the kiss. I shifted, lifting my leg and climbing onto Ben’s lap, straddling his legs. His dick was hard in his pants, his jeans tight around his waist as a result, and I felt the thick ridge when I sat on top of him. I kissed him again, my hand in his hair and around his neck, and I started moving my hips slowly, grinding myself against his erection.
I could feel how wet I was getting– the pajama pants I wore without panties getting wet as I pressed my pussy against Ben’s crotch. He started breathing harder, and so did I. Ben’s hands roamed over my body, tracing my curves, landing on my hips to move with me as I slowly rode him.
Ben slid his hands up to my chest and cupped my breasts. I had kept my bra on despite not wearing panties, but I wanted it off. I wanted it all off so that we were naked together.
Before long, Ben moved his hands down and pushed them underneath my shirt. He reached behind my back and unclasped my bra so that he could push it out of the way and cup my naked breasts. He pinched my nipples and tugged lightly, and I moaned into his mouth. I ached for him. I wanted him to take me hard and fast, to push his dick into me over and over, to claim me as his.
Even though, at the back of my mind, a little voice told me that I wouldn’t ever really belong to him.
I pushed the thought away. We were pretending everything was perfect tonight, and I was a fucking good actress.
I broke the kiss and shifted back a little, reaching for Ben’s belt. I undid it, as well as the button and zipper and pulled his dick free of the constraints of his pants and boxers. He was rock hard, the smooth skin on his shaft stretched around him, the head bulbous and already oozing lust.
When I clambered off Ben, I kneeled between his legs, and he opened them wider for me. I wrapped my fingers around the base of his cock and leaned forward. I rolled my eyes up to him, stuck out my tongue and licked a line from his base to his tip.
Ben groaned and shuddered.
I circled the tip of his dick with my tongue, tasting him before I closed my lips over his head and sank down. His cock slid into my mouth, and I pushed down until he pressed against the back of my throat. I pulled back and repeated the process, fucking him with my mouth. Ben lifted his hand and put it on my hair, guiding me, feeling my head bob up and down as I sucked him, sliding his dick in and out of my mouth.
“Mila,” Ben said, out of breath. I lifted my head, my lips leaving his cock and looked at him. Ben put his hand under my chin and leaned forward to kiss me.
“I want to be inside of you,” he mumbled against my lips. Ben stood, pulling me up by my hand. When I was standing, he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He liked doing this. We kissed, our tongues swirling around each other while he walked us to my bedroom.
When he put me down on the bed, he pulled my shirt up and over my head. The loose bra hung from my shoulders, and I dropped it to the floor. Ben kissed me again before he moved to my breasts and paid special attention to each of them, sucking on my nipples, licking and kissing and massaging what wasn’t already in his mouth. I was getting wetter and wetter.
Ben pushed me backward so that I lay on the bed and hooked his fingers into the waistband of my pants, pulling them down.
“No panties,” Ben said with a smirk. “Naughty girl.”
“I wanted to be comfortable,” I said.
“Naked is comfortable.”
I didn’t have a chance to answer. Ben dove between my legs and closed his lips over my pussy, and I cried out. He flicked his tongue over my clit a few times before he sucked on it and I writhed on the bed, moving my hips. His tongue worked magic on my clit, and his saliva combined with my sex only made me so much wetter.
Ben slid a finger into my entrance, sucking harder on my clit at the same time, and I or
gasmed. It had come hard and fast. My muscles contracted. I cried out, and I could almost swear Ben chuckled with his mouth against my pussy.
When I came down from my release, panting and whimpering, Ben kissed his way up my body to my lips. When he kissed me on the mouth, I could taste myself.
Ben climbed off the bed and pulled his clothes off. I hadn’t gotten around to that yet, but Ben made fast work of it. In no time, he was naked. He also rolled a condom on. My stomach clenched when I thought about not needing it anymore, but I didn’t entertain it. I wasn’t going to let it into my mind.
When Ben climbed onto the bed again, I stopped thinking. My thighs fell open for him, and Ben positioned himself between my legs. Ben was gentle, slowly pushing his cock into me, and I moaned as he slid in. He was being gentle now, but I wanted him to fuck me hard. I needed the release, the escape.
Once Ben was buried inside of me, he allowed me to catch a breath before he slid out, and I moaned again. He rammed his cock back into me. It was sudden, and it was hard, and it made me cry out.
It was exactly what I wanted.
Ben bucked his hips, pumping into me like a power piston, fucking me harder and harder as my moans and cries turned to screams and shouts. He pushed me closer and closer to the edge of another orgasm, my body going numb and my breath forced out of my lungs with every stroke. Ben’s face was right above mine, his expression serious with concentration.
He kept powering on, and I finally toppled over. I cried out, and when I did, Ben pressed his lips against mine, swallowing my cries, drinking in the orgasm as my muscles contracted and my body curled around his. I gripped his shoulders tightly, and I could feel my pussy clamping down around his cock.
The orgasm took a while to fade. When it did, Ben pulled out, and I lay alone on the bed, gasping.
“Turn around,” he said. It took me a moment to pull myself together, but I was all too happy to oblige. I was on my hands and knees, and Ben positioned himself behind me, his hands on my hips. When he pushed into me again, he filled me up more than before, pushing in deeper.