by Marian Gray
“He told me he stalked me and figured out how to get on the tram. Since the Committee of Education did away with monitored arrivals, James landed in Ivory without issue. He broke into my dorm room early this semester. I didn’t know it was him though. He’s been following both of us around campus for months. And then just now, he found a way into my room again.” My hand rubbed my face. “It was awful. He looked horrible—sickly and filthy. His teeth were yellow, and he had black circles around his eyes. He went on extensively about how he was here for me, and that we were destined to be together. He’s convinced he’s a wizard.” I shook my head. “He got physical with me when I refused to leave with him. That’s when the magical bout happened, and he flew out of here.”
Elijah stepped toward me. His thick arms wrapped around me. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He sighed. “We need to alert the school immediately though. He’s a danger to you, himself, me, and any other student that crosses him.”
I leaned away from his hug. “No. We can’t. I can’t do that to him.”
“Kim, he’s a sorcerer.” Elijah’s voice was hard and serious. “And from what you say, it sounds as though he has Mad Merlin Syndrome. He’s not safe to be around.”
“No. We’re not turning him in. Do you have any idea what they’ll do to him?” The thought frightened me. “The Chamber will lock him up and throw away the key. The press will crucify you, me, and him. James isn’t a bad person. He doesn’t deserve that.”
“Kim, I understand, but he’s a mentally unstable sorcerer. It's rather apparent that he’s grossly obsessed with you—he attacked you and tried to kidnap you. What happens if he decides to murder one of us in our sleep?”
I rolled my eyes. “He wouldn’t do that.”
“You think he wouldn’t because you know nothing about Mad Merlin Syndrome.”
“Oh, and you do?”
“I would like to think I know more about it than you do.” His eyes narrowed. “I am one month away from completing my education, and I did grow up in a family that didn’t repress magic.”
My eyes narrowed. “For Christ’s sake, we don’t even know if he’s really a sorcerer or not.”
His brow furrowed. “You’re really still questioning that? Look at your dorm room, Kim. Why are you acting like this?”
“Acting like what?”
“Like—" He rubbed his lips.
“Say it.”
“Like an ignorant mundi.”
“You’re an ass.”
“I don’t have time for this and circling around the issue is ridiculous.” His arms folded across his chest. “What will it take? Him raping you? Or perhaps him deciding to attack me?”
“He’s not going to attack you. You’re acting like he’s some criminal or monster.”
“Assault is a crime, whether committed with physical force or magical power. And how can you think he wouldn’t come after me? You said he’s been following me. You said he was enraged when he found out we were together. Do you not care for me and my safety?”
I released an exasperated breath. “You’re a holmgang god. You can defend yourself.”
He shook his head. “That’s it?”
I held out my arm in surrender. “What else do you want?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps for you to care about me just as much as you care about James—the crazy sorcerer who wants to off me and run away with you.”
“Don’t turn this into a competition of who I care for more.”
“I’m not trying to, but it’s difficult when you’d rather risk my life than turn him into the authorities.”
“That’s not how it is.”
“Then what?” He raised his voice. “Are you afraid of the Emporium catching whiff of it? Are you afraid of them finding out about us?”
My eyes drooped. “The issue had crossed my mind. If I come forward, then we have to make our relationship known.”
“What is wrong with you?” He threw up his hands. “You’re more worried about your image than our lives.”
“I just want to see if I can resolve everything before it blows up. That’s why I sent you a note. I wanted you to be informed, and I needed your help fixing this place.”
He sucked his lips into his mouth and looked away from me. “Kim, it’s already blown up.”
“Are you going to help me or not?”
He buried his face in his hands. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
“This.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Be with you.” His head rose from his palms. A single tear path stained his cheek. “I can’t be with you anymore.”
“Don’t say that,” I whispered. My lungs seized.
“It’s true.” He took a step away from me. “I’m tired of this. I’m tired of hurting more than I feel joy—and then being told to simply deal with it. I’m tired of waking up every morning, hoping I’ll get the chance just to hug you that day. I’m sick of sneaking around, as though what we’re doing is dirty and shameful. You’ve turned my life into a lie. I’m proud of us and what we can become together—but I don’t think you share that sentiment. I’m so lowly prioritized in your life that you’d rather I get attacked than have the media find out about our relationship.” He raised his finger and pointed at me. “That’s what you should really be afraid of everyone discovering—you’ve become a conceited coward.”
“Elijah—"
“Go find your friend, Kim, and tell him you’re single.”
“Elijah, wait.”
“No,” he barked. “I’m done waiting. I’ve waited half a year for you to be brave enough to be with me.” He turned from me and headed to the door.
Tears streamed down my cheeks. “Please don’t do this.” The rush of sorrow choked in my throat. “I don’t want to lose you. I love you.”
The last three words stopped him. He glanced at me over his shoulder. His eyelids glistened with building tears. “I wish you well, Kim.” And with that he left.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
I wiped my cheeks with the end of my damp sleeve before entering the classroom. My chest expanded and took in a deep breath in an effort to calm myself. Grief and heartbreak twisted through me, fighting to boil over the surface in tears. I released the breath in one long, cool exhale. I needed to be numb, and for my face to be unmoved to make it through the next hour and a half.
My hand wrapped around the brass knob, and I entered the classroom. The majority of students were already there, tucked into their seats behind rectangular desks. I wanted to turn and sprint out, but I willed myself to remain. My foot lifted and step forward, drawing up the small auditorium steps. Lili sneered as I passed, but I didn’t grant her a glance. I reached a desk near the rack and sunk in the chair.
“Good morning everyone!” Elijah slipped through the classroom door, carrying a leather wizard’s suitcase instead of his usual backpack. “Unfortunately, Professor Dart will not be able to make the lesson today and has instructed me to lead in his place.” He dropped the accordion-sided case atop the teacher’s desk. “He didn’t give me much of a notice, so I have little prepared today. We’ll do a short lecture and follow it with a small writing exercise. Once you’ve finished the writing component, you are dismissed.” He cracked open the latch and unbound the leather ties. “So today we will discuss something I believe is very relevant to casting, but not taught in classrooms—especially not bejant classrooms.” He retrieved his wand and pointed it at the green chalkboard. The white chalk rose and scrawled the title of his lecture. “How to defend against other magical users: magi, warlocks, and sorcerers.”
The class shuffled in their seats. The air was alive with intrigue.
“By now, most of you will have discovered that there are others in this world with the ability to manipulate everything we see through the use of magic. Magi rely on mana as a source of energy, from there they can control only certain things. For example, one mage may be able to control the wa
ter that runs through their house while another can change the traffic lights. But once their pool of mana is exhausted, they’ll lose their abilities. Magi have been around for as long as we have. They're not an aggressive bunch, and most aren't even aware that there are others.
"And then there are warlocks, who summon spirits through rituals—their magic is completely ceremonial in essence and draws on the power of the group rather than the individual. The Hollywood image of seances comes from them. They operate in covens, and the individuals in their coven become their family essentially. If you anger one member of a coven, you'll end up with the entire group after you.
"Lastly, we have sorcerers. The most dangerous of the three, and arguably more powerful than us. Why? Does anyone know?”
I swallowed hard, wanting to disintegrate and have my ashes swept away.
“Sorcerers require nothing to expel their magic. They don’t even require words. The world just obeys their will. That should scare you. But they have one great pitfall that makes them even more explosive—the origin of their power is unstable. When a sorcerer pushes their limits, they end up going insane. Their magical core consumes them. They become obsessed with people and ambitions. Their outer appearance begins to diminish, first with small things such as hygiene. Then it progresses to bigger, more visible things such as their skin, hair, teeth, and eyes.”
“Why does the Chamber allow them to live then?” A student asked.
Elijah sighed. “Because they’re still people and not all of them contract Mad Merlin Syndrome—only the sorcerers that seek greater power go crazy.” He leaned against the teacher’s desk, staring out into the classroom. But he never looked up to me. “So how do you overcome these different types of magic users should they cross your path and wish to cause you harm? Well, mages tend to be the easier of the three. You either need to outlast their mana pool, but sometimes that’s not possible. The well-trained and disciplined mages don’t burn through mana very quickly. With them, you must have your wits about you and outsmart them. If you're battling a mage that can control fire, douse him in rivers.
“Warlocks require more passive skill and less direct action, because the warlock himself won’t attack you but whatever spirit the coven sent your way will. Therefore, you must call off the spirit first, which is done by destroying its circle. When a warlock summons a spirit, they create summoning circles. These are drawn onto the ground and imprinted with magic—it's the portal by which the spirit enters our world and ties them here. When it's removed, the spirit is thrown back to wherever they came from, leaving the warlock essentially powerless.
“And then sorcerers.” He drew in a deep breath. “How do you defeat a sorcerer? Chances are you won’t be able to cast faster than they can, so you need to cast smarter. The more energy the sorcerer excerpts over a long period of time, the more erratic their behavior and power becomes. You want them to unleash large spells and propel themselves towards instability. Once they hit their breaking point, they’ll finish themselves. What that means exactly, depends on the individual. Some sorcerers scream until their lungs give out. Others will pass out. Some even go into shock. There’s really no way to tell how their bodies will react.”
“Now, in the back of your textbooks is a small chapter and a page of questions about these three figures. For the reminder of the class, I want everyone to work independently. Read the chapter and answer the questions at the end—the questions will serve as your notes when exam time comes.”
The class sighed as they retrieved their textbooks and cracked open the stiff spines. I flipped the pages, counting how many were in this chapter but planned to read none of them.
My eyes lifted to him. His appearance once inspired joy but now there was just a bitter sorrow inside. Tears pooled atop my eyelids. It had been three days since I last saw or spoke to him. Over the weekend he had completely ignored me, and I hadn’t gathered the courage to attend practice yesterday. My gaze fell back to the pages. This was him speaking to me without giving me hope that our relationship still had a chance.
I swallowed hard as the memory of him leaving my dorm revolved in my head. I had hoped the things he said weren’t true, but if I were honest with myself, I couldn’t deny them. I did place my image above his happiness, not intentionally though. I was simply afraid. I hated the onslaught of insults and unwanted attention from complete strangers whenever the Emporium ran an article about me. I wanted to be invisible to the eyes of the world. I had proved that I deserved my surname, but it wasn’t good enough. They would always be in search of a new headline and hook.
And then there was James. A lump hit my stomach. I didn’t know what to do, but I needed to act sooner rather than later. It was only a matter of time before he found me again and attacked. It was too late to go to school. The punishment would be heavy for not reporting this and covering up the damage. Plus, they would probably corral him like an animal and toss him in a cage. He wasn’t a beast but a person with an illness. He needed to be talked down and reasoned with.
A laugh lifted my attention from my textbook. It sounded again, but louder this time, coming from my rival. Lili Banach stared up at Elijah with a wide smile. He hovered over her and pointed at something in her book, which made both of them snicker. I couldn’t make out her words, but Lili continued the conversation with whispers.
I told myself to look away, but I couldn’t peel my eyes from the scene. It heated my blood and twisted my stomach into nausea. He maintained a friendly professional academic demeanor toward her, but Lili was obvious with her actions. She didn’t try to hide the fact that she was flirting. Her hand rose and rested on his arm as the other cupped her mouth to hold her laughter. He didn’t brush away her hand.
I sat as still as possible despite all my muscles tensing into a fit. I understood that we had broke up, but I had assumed it was something to be fixed and bandaged in two weeks. I thought we would find each other once again, because love conquered all—but as I stared at them, the impact of this fallacy hit hard. My breath shortened to quick puffs to keep my face from breaking into tears.
Elijah glanced up at me, and his eyes held with mine. I swallowed every ounce of feeling and bit my bottom lip to hold in my cries. His face held stolid, void of emotion or reaction. He stared at me as though I were a stranger, and he was looking upon my face for the first time. After a few unbearable seconds, his gaze returned to Lili and his mouth widened into a bright smile and eyes twinkled.
My eyes stung. My core was in full meltdown. I threw my textbook, pen, and paper into my bag and slung the sack over my shoulder. The other students attention flew to me. My feet disrupted the sterile silence as they hammered down the small auditorium steps and straight out the classroom door. I didn’t glance back as I marched down the hallway determined to get out, to escape from Eli and Lili.
“Hey Kim!” Sara called out as she strolled from the opposite direction.
I blew past her.
“Kim!” She jogged to me and placed her hand on my arm, wheeling me around into a spin to face her. “What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Concern painted her face.
I shattered. “He broke up with me, Sara.” The words puddled out of my mouth as the tears spilled over my lids. “He’s actually done with me.”
Her brow bundled into confusion. “Who? Ryan?”
I stomped my foot in exasperation. “No! That article was a lie!” The volume in my voice rose. “I never did anything with him.”
“Ok.” Sara held her hands out in surrender. “Why don' t we go back to the dorms and talk? They're just around the corner.”
I didn’t know if it was smart to end the secrecy around our now dead relationship, but I couldn’t keep it buried any longer. I was bursting at the seams. “All right.” I buttoned my lips and lowered my head as Sara led me through the campus, wanting to conceal my crying face.
When we reached her room, Sara locked the door behind us. “So what happened?” She sat beside me on the bed and placed a hand
on my knee. “I’ve never seen you this upset.”
My thoughts shot and scrambled around my brain. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Wherever it hurts the most.” Her tone was soft and sympathetic.
“He broke up with me days ago, and he’s already flirting with Lili Banach.” As soon as the phrase left my lips, the tears sprung forward.
“Who? Who is the ‘he’?”
I wiped my face with my sleeve. “Elijah Harlow.”
Her eyes squinted. “You were dating Elijah Harlow? How come you never told me?”
“Because we had agreed to keep it a secret in order to keep our faces from being smeared across the Emporium.”
Her eyes streamed with shock and disbelief. “When did it start? How long have you two been together?”
“How long have you two been together?” I repeated as I shook my head. “We’re not anymore. We’re over. He’s not even offering me a second chance. We just split, and it’s as though he never had feelings for me.”
Sara wrapped an arm around my shoulder and hugged me. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this.”
I leaned on her shoulder. It was comforting not to be alone in this anymore. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t get away from him. He’s the captain of the holmgang team, and the PA in my casting class.” I swallowed hard. “And at the same time, I don’t want to be away from him. I miss his notes, his glances, his smile, and his smell.” I shook my head. “I can’t believe it’s really over. I can’t believe that fight we had was the grand finale. How can someone just move on like that?”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Sara sighed. “People are weird and confusing after break-ups, even you. I’ve never seen you cry, didn’t believe you had the capacity for tears, but here we are.” Her hand rose and stroked my hair as though she were my sister. “I don’t know anything about this relationship, other than what you’ve just told me, but if you still want him and don’t believe things are over, then don’t toss in the towel now. You’re a fighter, Kim. Fight for him if you really want him.”