by Rachel Lee
In an instant she turned into a puddle. Amazing how he could do that to her, make her melt until she seemed boneless.
But then he put her gently aside. “I would like to continue that,” he said, holding her shoulders and looking deeply into her eyes. “Unfortunately...”
“Work, I know,” she agreed, hoping her disappointment didn’t show.
“Well, we have an invasion coming at three, so I want to clear the decks so I can be around. I don’t think they’ll want me in the way, but I still feel a need to be in the vicinity. Parents will expect it.”
“Of course.” She swallowed her disappointment and watched as he helped himself to a bowl of tomato soup and quickly slapped some cheese and ham on some bread.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” he asked as he sat at the table.
“Maybe in a little bit.” She sat across from him, putting her chin in her hand, filling her eyes with the sight of him.
“So what have you been up to?” he asked.
“I set up the dining room for the makeup show. But mostly I’ve been walking around feeling liberated.”
He arched a brow. “That’s an interesting choice of word.”
“It’s what I feel this morning. Like I left a whole lot of restrictions behind and now everything is open to me. I can do what I want, be what I want...” She trailed off then shrugged. “There’s a lot I need to figure out.”
She thought his face had darkened a bit, but then he smiled. “The whole world is waiting for you.”
“As much of it as I may want,” she agreed.
“There’s no rush,” he said finally. “You need to have the baby first.”
She got the sense that she had disappointed him in some way, and wondered if he thought she was getting ready to leave. He’d been so clear that she had a job here as long as she wanted, but maybe he thought she was getting ready to pack and go.
Sandy. Of course. But she didn’t know what to do about that. She was in no position right now to promise much of anything to anyone. Certainly not that she wouldn’t move on when the time came, even if it seemed unimaginable to her at the moment.
Nor would he trust any such promise from her right now. She hadn’t been here long enough to know if this was the life she wanted. Nor had he known her long enough to have any idea if he wanted to keep her around indefinitely. This kind of thinking was pointless right now.
“I have plenty of time,” she agreed, hoping to relax him. “All the time in the world. Right now I’m just so happy to be here.”
That seemed to lighten his mood. He ate his lunch swiftly, paused to kiss her again, then headed out, promising to be back before the girls arrived.
She stood for a long time at the kitchen window, watching him ride out to pastures she couldn’t see from here. Wondering if she’d found her place in the world, or just a brief respite from struggles to come.
How could she possibly know?
* * *
Mary Lou and Angie were the first of the girls to show up. With bright smiling faces, they came hurrying through the door, calling out “Hi!” before darting upstairs with Mary Lou’s overnight bag. Mary Lou’s mother waved from her truck and drove off.
“This should be easy enough,” Cash remarked. He had just come in and smelled richly of loam and cattle. “If we can stand the racket, that is.”
“That’s probably most of the fun.”
“Well, they should be busy for hours with makeup from what I saw the other night. I promise to stay out of sight so they don’t get nervous about it, but I definitely plan to listen. I had fun hearing you and Angie that night.”
“It was fun,” Hope agreed, although she was beginning to feel just a bit daunted. Teaching five bubbling, active girls the way to use makeup didn’t seem like an exactly easy thing.
“You worry about that part,” Cash said. “I’m pretty handy at doctoring frozen pizzas, so I’ll take over dinner.”
Hope hadn’t even thought about dinner, and she flushed a little. “I’m glad I’m not trying to do this alone.”
“Just consider me your catering service.”
She felt a spark of anger at the way he tossed that out, reminding her of her previous life, but the anger faded as she read his face and realized he was just joking. He hadn’t meant anything critical at all.
“I’m nervous,” she admitted.
“You’re not the only one. I’ve never hosted a bunch of thirteen-year-olds before. I guess this is our trial by fire.” He paused. “I better run and clean up a bit so I don’t smell like a barn. I promise to be quick.”
Not quick enough, she thought as she watched him dash away. He couldn’t come back to her quickly enough.
The thought shocked her, seeming to come out of nowhere. A dangerous thought, one that might only bring her more trouble and heartbreak. She laid her hand firmly over her tummy and reminded herself there was only one thing that mattered. She needed to keep her focus.
Last night had been a beautiful revelation, and she honestly wanted to repeat it again and again. But to invest more of herself in what was clearly an uncertain situation over the long term could cause her huge problems. Could cause problems for raising this child.
Setting her shoulders, she got ready for the invasion, brushing away the wisps of beautiful desire that seemed to cling to everything that day. Putting aside what had clearly been a dream.
Reality had harsher edges.
* * *
The makeup party went well although it exhausted Hope. Her stamina seemed to have declined some with this pregnancy, but she wondered if anyone but the girls involved would have eventually felt smacked by their level of energy, noise and activity.
They were exuberant on their adventure. They’d brought their own makeup, but it was soon scattered all over the table as they switched items and tried to find colors that suited them better. They paid rapt attention to Hope’s instructions, then experimented, anyway, yielding hours of laughter. Those with cell phones took photos of their results, which caused more laughter.
Ruefully, Hope figured it only took about three hours for them to settle enough to get really serious about the makeup. The idea that if they put it on correctly they could wear it to school eventually tamed them and they settled down.
Cash wandered through with plates full of pizza slices, and those vanished as if by magic. Soft drinks evaporated. Energy levels rose again for a while after they ate, but then ebbed. At about eight that evening, with their faces scrubbed clean, they were ready for popcorn and a movie.
Hope was ready for bed. In the kitchen she sagged into a chair with a cup of tea. Having helped the girls pick a suitable movie, Cash appeared a short time later and joined her. This time he sat across from her.
She sighed and looked at him. There was an unusual expression on his face, somewhere between shock and a smile. “Did something happen?”
“Only that my daughter gave me a big hug and thanked me.”
Hope’s heart skipped happily. “That’s wonderful!”
His smile widened. “I think so. That’s the first time ever.”
“It’s really going to get better,” Hope breathed, almost afraid to say it out loud.
“It will. But like I said, I expect fits and starts here. By tomorrow night she may remember every reason she hates me. But right now she’s a queen bee in her element. She has five other girls telling her how lucky she is to have a dad like me and a companion like you. My stock is up.”
“Enjoy it while you can.”
He laughed. “I intend to. I also suspect those girls aren’t going to fall asleep at a decent hour, so I’ll take over when you want to head to bed. You need your sleep.”
“We’ve still got morning to deal with,” she said.
“No kidding.
Frozen toaster pastries and cereal. No cooking. Moms will be picking them up around nine.”
“So early?”
“Church.” He paused. “I should have asked if you’re a churchgoer.”
“I was. Lately I haven’t been.” She shrugged. “I’ll get back to it, I’m sure. You?”
“On and off. Usually there’s something here that needs doing, and I can’t always get the time. I feel like I ought to be taking Angie, but when it’s just me, there’s always something.”
“Maybe I can help with that.”
“If you want. It might be a culture shock for her, though. I gather her mother never took her at all.” He reached across the table and touched the back of her hand briefly. “You really look pooped.”
“I get tired more easily now. I’ll be fine after a little rest.”
“They sure kept you busy.”
She laughed. “I felt overwhelmed by all that energy. But it was good. They were all nice and a lot of fun.”
Giggles and laughs reached them from the living room. Apparently the girls were watching a comedy. A nice sound, Hope thought as she settled back in her chair. A delightful sound. Not one she was used to at home, although she’d enjoyed plenty of it during the time she stayed in the dorm at college.
For a little while, all was right with the world.
With the girls in the house, though, there could be nothing intimate between the two of them, and that made her feel a bit blue. So many things they couldn’t talk about, and certainly they couldn’t explore their attraction. All of that was now on hold, maybe indefinitely. Maybe forever.
She closed her eyes, smothering a sigh, reminding herself to be realistic. A lot of life was bound to be more difficult now, if for no other reason than that her circumstances had changed dramatically. In addition to being crazily attracted to a rancher who had a daughter old enough to know the score if the two of them indulged in anything romantic, and she felt an entire avenue had just been blocked.
But that wasn’t fair. She wasn’t here as a fiancée or even girlfriend for Cash, but as a companion and caretaker for his daughter.
They probably never should have indulged themselves last night, although there was no way she could regret it. She still felt like a bud that had finally opened into full bloom, and she wouldn’t give up her new knowledge of herself for anything.
In one night, Cash had nearly erased Scott’s memory, erased her horrid experience with him. For that she would always be grateful, even if she never had another opportunity to lie in Cash’s arms.
“Hope?”
She opened her eyes.
“Are you regretting last night?”
“No!” She straightened immediately. “Oh, no, absolutely not.”
“You seem lost in some pretty heavy thoughts.”
She felt abashed. “Honestly? I was just thinking that there’s no way we’ll have any more time together.”
She watched a smile begin on his face and spread. “Really.”
“Really.”
“I think we can manage to take care of that.” He gave her a wink. “She does go to school.”
“And you go to work.”
“I might be able to rearrange a few things sometimes. Besides, I’m moving into a slower time of year. Just hang in there, sweetie. We’ll find a way.”
She beamed. “I hope so.”
“Me, too.” His expression spoke volumes. She felt that wonderful honeyed trickle of desire again and clamped her thighs together. At that moment, the baby stirred. She laughed quietly and pressed her hand to herself. “There will be something between us.”
“A very nice something.” He paused. “Don’t you want to have a sonogram and find out whether it’s a girl or a boy?”
“I’m curious, of course, but that’s expensive.”
“Brad does them in his office. Maybe not that expensive. I’ll ask.”
Hope hastened to shake her head. “You’ve already done enough for me. You can’t afford my medical expenses on top of everything else.”
“We’ll see,” he answered. “In the meantime, it sounds like the girls are ready to change movies. I’ll go deal with that, and you head on up to bed. Maybe I can find a moment later to peek in on you.”
She was awfully tired. “Call me if you need me.”
“Oh, I think I can handle a bunch of happy girls until they crash on the floor. Don’t worry about it.”
She checked on the crew in the living room, and found they’d already spread out their sleeping bags and pillows, and were sprawled every which way as the movie rolled to its conclusion.
Smiling, she went upstairs, hugging Cash’s promise inside her heart. Even if he couldn’t peek in on her later, he had said they would try to find time to make love again.
There might be no future in this, but it was still helping her build a new picture for her future self.
Priceless, she thought. Absolutely priceless.
Chapter Nine
The girls all departed around nine the next morning. Angie had circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, but she looked happy, really happy, for the first time since Hope had met her. Without having to be asked, she helped straighten up the living room and announced that the following weekend they were going to have a sleepover at Mary Lou’s.
Hope wondered if Mary Lou’s mother had been notified of this, but she was enjoying Angie’s improved mood too much to ask. Together they cleaned up paper plates, leftover food and drink cups, and ran the vacuum. In no time at all, everything was set to rights.
“Thanks for your help,” Hope told Angie.
“My friends loved the makeup thing. They want to do it again. Can we?”
“Sure. It was fun.”
Cash had already gone out to work, leaving the two of them alone in the house.
Hope spoke. “You look like you could use a nap.”
“Later,” Angie replied. “It’s not like I didn’t sleep at all last night.”
Hope couldn’t imagine that she had cadged more than an hour or two, but wasn’t going to argue about it. If Angie sat still for ten minutes, she was apt to go out like a light.
“Hey,” Angie said suddenly. “Who’s that coming?”
Hope joined her at the living room window. A big black SUV was pulling up the driveway toward the house. “How would I know?” she asked. “I’ve hardly met anyone around here.”
Angie giggled. “A surprise visit. Dad doesn’t get too many of those.”
Before Hope could counsel caution, Angie darted out the front door. Grabbing a sweater, Hope hurried out to join her. They stood together on the porch and watched the vehicle’s approach. For some reason, Hope began to feel a strong apprehension.
“Maybe you should go inside. Or go get your dad.”
“Soon enough when we find out who it is. Relax, Hope. Dad’s always saying how good people are around here.”
But what if this person wasn’t from around here? Hope wondered.
The car, with dark windows that concealed its passengers, pulled to a halt in front of them. Hope pulled her sweater tightly around herself, as if it would provide protection.
Then her heart sank and her world began to spin. Climbing out of that car were her parents. Both of them. Then, oh, my God, Scott.
“Hope?” Angie’s voice seemed to fade away. Everything went black.
* * *
When she came back to herself, she was sitting on a porch chair. A hand pressed her head down between her knees. Angie, she realized.
“Hope?” came her mother’s voice.
“Keep them away from me,” Hope said hoarsely. “Away.”
“Stay back,” Angie shouted. “Just stay back.”
“Don’t you tell me to stay a
way from my daughter,” came Mrs. Conroy’s sharp voice.
Angie bent until her mouth was close to Hope’s ear. “That young guy? He’s the one who hurt you?”
Hope managed a nod. “I’ll be fine in a second.”
“Sure.” Angie straightened, keeping her hand on the back of Hope’s neck. “Stay back or I’ll go inside and get the shotgun.”
Hope heard her dad swear. Heard her mother start a tirade. Heard Scott say nothing at all. And all she could feel was a combination of horror that they were here and astonishment that Angie was talking about getting a shotgun. Had the world gone mad?
Then came the most beautiful sound in the world. Cash’s voice from the far side of the house. “What the hell is going on?” he demanded.
“Who the devil is he?” demanded Hope’s father.
“I might better be asking you. You’re on my land.”
Slowly, shrugging off Angie’s hand, Hope straightened up. Like some icon of the Old West, Cash moved forward astride his horse, clad in jeans and a shearling jacket and cowboy hat. When he halted, he was pretty much between the women on the porch and Hope’s pursuers. There was no mistaking the shotgun holstered on his saddle.
Hope felt the briefest flicker of amusement. Her family might be from Texas, but this was a sight they weren’t used to, anyway. They were city people.
Then she forced herself to face her parents. They appeared as if frozen in time. Her mother, perfectly put together as always in a tweed suit and pumps, every one of her blond hairs in place. Her dad, wearing a suit with a Western string tie, still tried to look as if he starred in Dallas. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Scott, but she didn’t need to. He was undoubtedly every bit as perfect with his dark hair and gray eyes. He’d always been perfect...at least on the outside.
But looking at her mom and dad hurt. They had wounded her, showed her how little they cared about her, yet she still loved them. Was that sick?
“Dad,” Angie said, “these are Hope’s parents and the guy who, um, hurt her.”
Hope had the pleasure of seeing shock strike her family and Scott, of hearing sharp intakes of breath.