“Joey Green, holy hell son. Glad to have ya back.”
“Thanks Coach Decker.” I smiled as I shook his hand.
After our meeting, I said good-bye to Coach Decker and started makin’ my way out to my truck. I hadn’t known my dorm room information until today so unfortunately I was stuck stayin’ at a hotel last night. I pulled up in front of the hotel a short while later, and put the truck in park. I knew I needed to gather up my stuff and make my way over to the dorms, but I suddenly found myself obsessing over the note…again.
I pulled the crumpled up piece of paper out of my glove box, and read over it for the thousandth time. I wasn’t sure why I continued to torture myself, but I did. Every time I read over it, it was as though I found a new hidden meaning behind every word that she wrote. I wanted to call her. I needed to hear her voice, and know that she was okay, because I knew I was far from it.
After twenty minutes of starin’ at that stark white paper, I finally shoved it back into the glove box and made my way to my room. At some point I was goin’ to have to come to the realization that things with Diem were over, and there was no way she was comin’ back. I was going to have to start livin’ my life for me, and concentrating on football and school. There was no time to sabotage myself, the NFL was callin’ my name…loudly.
Chapter 8
Diem
I wish I could say that my first few months at school were amazing and fun, but I would be lying. Don’t get me wrong, I was extremely grateful to be in the States, going to an amazing school, but something was missing. As much as I loved the house that my father bought for me, I would be lying if I said I didn’t wish it was a house in a certain Texas town, or even a dormitory. I guess I just felt as though I was missing out on the best part of being away at school.
After my father left, I made a huge effort to be on campus as much as possible. I wanted to make my presence known, and this was the only way to do it. And…it actually worked. My first week of classes, I met a brilliant gal named Troy. I thought her name was quite odd given that she wasn’t a boy, but I just figured it was an American thing. She was spunky, and down right a blast to be around. She was in almost every one of my classes as well, and that just made our friendship that much easier. Needless to say, we took an instant liking to one another and have been practically inseparable ever since.
I was running across campus in a frenzy trying to get to the administration building early when I came to an abrupt halt. My mouth hung open in shock as I carefully watched him walk across campus, merely feet away from me. I stood there frantically shaking my head, and squeezing my eyes tightly shut as I tried to force the hallucination from my mind. It wasn’t humanly possible for him to be here, in front of me, at my school. When I finally opened my eyes, he had all but vanished into thin air. A small girly giggle escaped my throat as I realized just how infantile I was being. I was only meters away from the door to the building when I heard an all to familiar voice shouting my name.
“Diem, are you deaf or what?” Troy’s voice echoed off of every tree in our vicinity.
“Maybe I was choosing to ignore you.” I laughed as she came bounding up to me.
“Aren’t you funny.” She joked.
“What are you doing here so early? We don’t have class for another forty-five minutes, or did you set your alarm for the wrong time again?”
“Ha ha.” She shrugged, “I could ask you the same thing.”
I smiled, “I suppose you could. I was just heading into the administrative building to see about adding another class to my schedule.”
“You’re insane. Are you serious right now? Girl, you are already taking a full class load. If I didn’t know any better, I would say this is a ploy to keep your mind off of a certain somebody.
We both knew it was the latter, but she also knew that I would never admit to it. I was trying to clear my mind of all things Joey Green, and even though it had yet to work, I was bound and determined to follow through.
“Well, I’m thinking a night out is in order. It is Friday, which means we are free for the weekend. What do you say?”
I could tell by the look on her gorgeous face that there was no possible way she was taking no for an answer. It wasn’t fair having to go out with Troy. While I was your typical looking Brit with blonde hair, blue eyes and fair skin, Troy was something else entirely. She had model looks, with her long thick brown hair, emerald green eyes, and olive skin. Oh and she was maybe a size two. There was never a shortage of guys when we went out together, and I was pretty sure that the only reason that they ever spoke to me was to get to her.
“Okay…I say yes!”
Complete shock took over her expression, “OH.MY.GOD. Are you serious right now? And I didn’t even have to beg this time.” She smiled widely. “Kay, I’ll pick you up around nine.” She started to make her way to class when she stopped and turned back towards me. “OH, AND WHERE SOMETHING CUTE!” She shouted, and I nodded.
As soon as our last class was over, Troy and I took off as fast as our legs would allow us. Surprisingly, I was actually very excited to get out of the house and have some fun. When I spoke to my father the other day he had made me promise to be young and have fun, and now I could honestly tell him that I was doing just as he asked. I sat on the edge of my bed staring aimlessly at my wardrobe, just hoping that something would jump out at me, but nothing was working.
After about thirty minutes, I was coming to the realization that I was going to have to actually get off my arse and look through my closet for something. I began rummaging through all the delicate fabrics that made up my clothing when I finally came across the most perfect dress. It was tight, short, and black. Troy would most definitely approve. I tugged the dress on, and made my way into the bathroom to start working on my makeup and hair. As I stood in front of the vanity I made a snap decision. I ran into my kitchen to fetch my sheers, and then stood back in front of the vanity again.
I glanced in the mirror behind me at my long blonde tendrils, and without a second thought began cutting. Twenty minutes later, my hair sat just above my shoulders. It was drastic and dramatic, but I felt like it suited me far better than the long straight and boring look I had before. It was time to come out of my shell and be the girl Joey always knew I could be. It just took me a bit longer to see what he always saw. Looking at myself in the mirror, I knew he would approve.
I did a quick curl job on my hair, and dramatized my makeup just enough that I didn’t look like a hooker in some seventies movie where she eventually meets her end. I was polishing off my second glass of wine when the bell rang. I shuffled my bare feet across the floor as I made my way over to the door. When I pulled it back, Troy’s high-pitched squeal echoed throughout the house.
“What did you do?” She spun me around in circles to look over my handy work, but I had to stop her mid spin due to the queasiness rumbling in my belly.
“I’ve been drinking, no more spinning.”
“Where’s my glass?”
I motioned for her to follow me into the kitchen where an empty glass sat waiting for her on the counter. “So…what do you think?” I fluffed my hair for emphasis.
“Honestly? I absolutely LOVE it.” She fingered the short curls hanging down. “You look like an entirely different person. It suits your personality far better than your old do.”
“Thanks love. I figured it was time for a change. Right, well I just need to grab my clutch and then we can go.” I headed in the direction of my purse closet across from the front door when Troy’s voice caught me off guard.
“Um, hun…you might want to grab some shoes while you’re at it.”
I glanced down at my bare feet, and began hysterically laughing. Apparently the wine was affecting me far more than I had anticipated. “I suppose that would help, huh?”
“Probably,” she laughed.
I scurried up the stairs to find my black and white heels, but as I was down on all fours looking under my bed for them
, I came across a photograph. My brows pulled together in confusion. I couldn’t recollect going through my picture box since moving in, but it was entirely possible that it could’ve fallen out when I was moving in. I pushed my arm as far as my bed frame would allow, and I was finally able to pinch the edge of the glossy paper and retrieve it. I pulled the small paper onto my lap, and a stray tear instantly fell down my cheek.
Though I was overcome with poignancy, I couldn’t help but smile. We both looked so unbelievably gleeful, and I remembered that day with such fondness. It was the third day that Joey and I had met up. We were in front of Buckingham Palace, and just like every other cheeky American, he was determined to make the guards laugh. Needless to say, he failed miserably at it, but it was so much fun watching him make an arse out of himself. Afterwards, I was laughing so hard and he leaned in to kiss me, and that’s when he snapped the photo. It was the most perfectly imperfect photo.
I wasn’t sure how long I had been up here going down memory lane, so I gently placed the picture against my lamp on my nightstand, and grabbed my shoes as I hightailed it down the stairs. I could hear Troy on the phone as I reached the bottom step, and instead of interrupting her, I grabbed my clutch and made sure I had everything I would need for the night. I was about to head back into the kitchen, but Troy was already making her way in my direction.
“So it looks like we’re Ubering it tonight, that okay with you?”
Uber was something entirely new to me, and though it was just like taking a taxi, I was still a bit uncomfortable with it. At this point though, it was a far better idea than driving. “Sounds good. Let’s go!”
We pulled up to Club Deuce about fifteen minutes later, and I’m positive our Uber driver had literally been counting down the minutes until he dropped us off. A drunk Brit slurring her already hard to understand accent didn’t make for an easy conversation. As soon as we stepped out of the car, I immediately praised myself for going along with Troy’s plans to come out. There was a vast array of fine specimens waiting to get in, and I could only imagine what the ones inside looked like.
We were making our way to the back of the line when we heard Troy’s name being called. Knowing it was most likely some bloke just trying to hit on her, we both turned at the same time, but instead of some bloke, it was our friend and classmate Alex standing at the door. “How are my lovely ladies doing tonight?”
“When did you start working here?” I asked as I leaned over the velvet rope that separated us, to give him a hug.
“I’ve been working here since school started. Diem, I barely even recognized you. You look amazing.”
“Thanks, love. I switched it up a bit.”
“Well it suits you well. It’s all spunky and shit, just like you, doll.”
I could feel the blush flood my face. Alex had always been a sweetheart, and Troy swore he had a crush on me, but I never believed her…until now. Alex was looking at me in a peculiar way, and I wasn’t sure how to react to it. The three of us have two classes together, and ever since we met, we had been close. Without these two people, I’m not quite sure I would even still be in California. Whenever I doubted my decision or myself, they reminded me why I was here. But this changed things, and I didn’t want things changing right now.
“Well, come on in.” Alex lifted the rope, and held it up so we could walk under it and inside. “I’ll find you ladies when I’m done out here. Save me a dance, Diem?”
“Su…sure.” I smiled, but kept walking with my arm looped through Troy’s. “Well that was odd.” I shouted over the music.
“Sure was.” She laughed as we headed out onto to the dance floor, getting lost in the music.
Chapter 9
Joey
Five games down, only about a million to go. You can do this, Jo. I stood in the locker room, staring at myself in the full-length mirror, lost in thought. I just couldn’t wrap my head around how I was feelin’. I was supposed to be ecstatic, and excited that I was gettin’ to do the one thing I absolutely loved to do. But somethin’ was missin’. My life felt incomplete, and I was havin’ a really hard time sortin’ it all out. And no matter how hard I tried to get to a good point, all I could do was think back on that day.
After I read her goodbye to me, I couldn’t help but feel as though she had ripped my heart out and stomped all over it. As much as I wanted to chase after her, because I knew she loved me just as much as I loved her, I just couldn’t do it. I wasn’t willin’ to go against her wishes, and take the chance that it would end up pushin’ her away from me for good. So for now, I had to bide my time until I could go after her and make her mine.
“Hey Jo, you in here?” Glenn’s voice echoed throughout the locker room, and for a split second I contemplated ignorin’ him, but then thought better of it.
“Yeah! I’m back by the showers.” I shouted back at him.
“Hey! Good game tonight, bro. How ya feelin’?”
“I’m good.” I lied. “Thanks, hopefully those scouts out there thought so too.”
“Your time is comin’, man. I just know it. Well, I just wanted to say good game and say bye. We weren’t sure what ya had planned for after the game, so we’re just gonna head out.” Glenn turned to leave, but slowly turned back around, starin’ at me with that I-know-your-not-ok look. “What’s goin’ on, Jo?”
I pushed my hands back through my drippin’ wet hair as I took a seat on the bench between us. “Honestly, I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so thankful that I even get to play ball, and that I don’t have to pay for school, but it just isn’t how I expected it to be.”
“Is this about, um…you know who?”
“I don’t know. I guess, maybe. I just feel like I’m goin’ through the motions, and not actually livin’. Does that make sense at all?” I half expected my brother to laugh at how sensitive I was bein’, but to my surprise, he sat next to me and began to talk.
“I wish I could say it was easy with me and Cam, but it so wasn’t. And it wasn’t just because she is as hard headed as they come. Life just tended to get in the way too much. I mean for cryin’ out loud bro, after we got married she had to go back to Arizona and finish school. Those couple of months were brutal on me, and our relationship. Not to mention the band goin’ on tour and everything else. Just remember Jo, nothin’ comes easy and the difficult kind of love, is the love worth fightin’ for.”
I sat there listenin’ and takin’ in every word he was sayin’. Given the amount of shit him and Cami have dealt with, I knew he would be a good person to take advise from, but he was also my brother and I knew he only wanted the best for me. “I feel like I’m at a dead end, and my only choice is to go backwards. But to what? Back to Tanya? Back to the pathetic teenager that was in love with his brother’s best friend’s girl?”
“Jo, you go back to what makes you happy. If you’re not happy with what you’re doin’ in life, or who you’re doin’ it with, then you owe it to yourself to change it. Make it what you want it to be. Who do you want to be, Jo?”
“I wanna be me, Glenn, but I don’t want to be with her.” I pointed out towards the stands outside. “It is literally killin’ me. I can’t do anything right. I lose the one girl I thought I could love forever, and for what? Because I couldn’t be a man and stand up for myself, that’s why. I got myself into this mess, and I’m not about to place the blame on anybody else. I’m in the position I am because of me.” I stood up and walked over to my locker and began gettin’ dressed. Bitchin’ about my life wasn’t gonna get me anywhere, and frankly, I was exhausted just talkin’ about it.
“Jo, I know you can’t tell me everything, but I was serious when I told you I would help you with whatever you need. You’re my little brother, and I refuse to watch you spiral into this.” He pointed at me. “Why don’t you come out with us for a bit tonight, without her, and just have a good time. It’ll be the old crew, just like the good ol’ days.” We both started crackin’ up when he made it seem like we w
ere eighty or somethin’.
“All right, let’s go.”
Luckily Tanya headed home after I didn’t come out of the locker room. Mind you she only waited a long ten minutes Kayla said, so I wasn’t surprised when I got an angry text message a short while after pullin’ up to the bar, but my brother was right. Tonight I needed to just get out and have fun, and fightin’ with Tanya was so not fun, so I hit ignore on the phone call, and then shut my phone off and put it in Kayla’s purse as we headed into the bar. I ordered a round of shots for the entire table, and made my way back over with a newfound pep in my step.
“Alright ladies and…well, ladies.” I laughed. “Tonight the drinks are on me. So here’s to the love and friendship you only find in family. Thanks for bein’ mine.” I raised my shot glass and clinked it against everyone else’s. And the shots didn’t stop there. After the fifth round, I decided that I needed to blow off some steam, and my first victim to help me do that was…the one and only Kayla herself.
I grabbed KJ’s hand and led her to the dance floor. Of course I got a few looks from Madi, but he knew it so wasn’t like that anymore. The song that was playin’ was a fast one, but as soon as we started to dance, the song quickly ended and they began playin’ one of my favorite Tim McGraw songs, and I just couldn’t help myself. I wrapped my tired arm around KJ’s waist, pullin’ her close to me, and held her other hand out to the side. As the song played on, KJ started to relax a bit, and eventually even laid her head on my shoulder, which was a perfect lead in for the conversation I needed to have with her.
“Hey KJ, what do you think about me and Tanya?”
Her head quickly snapped up so she could look me in the face, “Are you serious? Honestly Jo, you know I love you to death, but I don’t even know what the hell you were thinking with that girl. I don’t know y’all’s situation, but I do know that you don’t love her. I know, I know, you swear you do, but you forget Jo, I know what it looks like when you love someone, and this…isn’t it.”
This Obsession of Mine (Raine Series #5) Page 5