by Booth, John
“Jake,” Jenny was up on her feet and hugging me before I could say anything. She stepped back to look at me. “You’re going aren’t you? I thought Esmeralda would talk you out of it.”
“I have to deal with them, Jenny. Innocent people are getting killed.”
Mrs. Owens got to her feet. “I’m just going out for a walk. You two settle down and have a good chin-wag.” She left the room, stopping only to pat me on the shoulder.
“Mum understands,” Jenny said softly. “It’s difficult for my parents. They never expected their daughter to marry a hero and they don’t know how to cope.”
“I’m not a hero.”
Jenny touched my face and then reached up on her toes to kiss me. “Oh, but you are, Jake. That’s why you’re going to get yourself killed taking on the Elves, to stop more innocents dying.”
“I’m about to go… with Fluffy. Because he’s with me you’ll know if…”
“If something happens to you or him? I suppose. If they kill you quickly, all I’ll know is that Retnor is gone.”
“I’m not going to get myself killed.” It wasn’t like I was the Welsh Football Team. Sometimes I won.
“Make sure that you don’t. And why did Esmeralda cut the feather off your hat? I liked the feather.”
Women may well be psychic. How else could she know it was Esmeralda?
“I told her I wouldn’t wear the stupid thing if she didn’t.”
“Wait here.” Jenny ran upstairs as I stood where I was feeling stupid. A few minutes later she returned with a large peacock feather in her hand.
“Got it off one of Mum’s hats.” She took my hat from my head and carefully threaded the end of the feather into the hatband, using a pin to fasten it in place. “There you are. It looks better now”
It certainly didn’t, but I knew what she was up to. Women used to send knights into battle with a handkerchief as a token of their love. I would have to live with a feather. On the bright side, the Elves might kill themselves laughing when I appeared before them and save me the trouble of fighting them.
“I’ve got to go, Jenny.”
“I know,” she replied smiling sadly. “Take care, Jake. Come home soon.”
“Mam, Dad?” The living room was empty.
“Out here, lad. We were just going out.” Dad appeared at the door wearing his coat. “Strewth, why are you dressed like that?”
Mam pushed past him and came to give me a hug. “You’re about to fight those nasty Elves. You come back, you hear?”
Dad came and gave me an awkward hug. He checked his watch. “We’ve got a bus to catch. Come with us to the door. That Inspector phoned for you again. Something about a box.”
I followed my parents to their front door. As they opened it someone came walking up the path towards them.
“Hello Jake. I’ve come looking for you. There are things you have to sign.”
Mam and Dad gave Betty Hardy a most peculiar look before turning that same look on me.
“Mam, Dad, this is Betty Hardy. Her father owns the farm I found the treasure on.”
Mam tutted. “I thought I recognized you. Saw you on the news when it all happened. We have to go. Jake, can you take care of her on your own?”
There was a warning in Mam’s tone. Not that I had any plans that way, but I noted it anyway.
Dad nodded at Betty and my parents carried on down the path.
“Is there a fancy dress party?” Betty asked.
Realizing that the neighbors might well be getting an eyeful of me in full Zorro costume I stepped back inside and waved Betty to follow. As I shut the door she carried on into the living room, with me having to trail behind.
“Are you going to ask to take my coat?” Betty took it off before I could answer and handed it to me. I went back to the hall and hung it up. Before I could get back she called out to me.
“A cup of tea would be nice. That was a long journey, and I had to change trains.”
I stumbled into the kitchen wondering why I felt obliged to dance to her tune. When I came back with two cups of tea she had taken off her pullover revealing a tight tee shirt to go with her tighter white jeans. She was sitting in a way I found extremely sensual, probably enhanced by the way her clothes seemed to be painted over her body, revealing as much as they concealed.
“Come and sit beside me, she said tapping the cushion of the sofa. You’ll have to sit there to read these papers.”
“Have the newsmen gone from the farm?” I sat reluctantly, and though I’m sure she was much lighter than me, the couch slid me towards her.
She laughed. Her laugh was like water running over rocks in a stream. As if she was a force of nature.
“I wore them out, my love. Just as I’ll wear you out soon enough.”
I tried to stand, but she put a hand on my shoulder and I fell back on the sofa. In some strange way I didn’t plan, my right hand ended up touching her groin. A tingle of pleasure danced up through my fingers. Searching for some form of magic, I could detect nothing around her, though something was affecting me.
She must have seen my reaction in my eyes. “A magic older than anything you know, Jake. We are meant for each other and the longer you resist, the more it will pull you to me.”
“I can’t.” It was hard to even get that much of a protest out.
She smiled and it was like the sun warmed my face. “You’ll be my lover, regardless of what you think you want. Merging our bodies has already improved your special sight. The more you succumb, the more you’ll see. It’s written in the stars, Jake. I’ve been waiting for you since I was a little girl.”
She put her hand on me, confirming what she already knew, my body wanted her, whatever my notions of what was right.
I must have blanked out for a few minutes, because she was standing naked in front of me. She put out her hands and pulled me to my feet.
“You need to take me now for the fight ahead. Your sight isn’t good enough to save you. That’s why I came. There are no papers to sign; it is our union I want. Don’t try and resist me.”
I couldn’t have resisted if I’d wanted. The urge to take her had robbed every other thought from my head. As I began to pull off my clothes she stopped me.
“Leave it on. Never had it from Zorro before and I like it a bit kinky. Take me as you are.”
As the trousers came from Salice there were buttons, and I fumbled as I struggled to undo them. She turned away from me, bent over and braced her hands on the sofa cushions presenting me with a glorious rear view of her body. Her bottom wriggled impatiently as she waited for me.
“Take me, Jake. Take me now.”
26. Revenge
A slap on the face brought me out of a beautiful warm dream, which involved swimming in a large lily covered pond with beautiful naked nymphs. All the nymphs had Jenny’s face.
“Jake, wake up. Look at me.” Betty slapped me harder across the face.
The world spun into focus and I remembered making love to Betty in my parents’ living room. I must have passed out. She was fully dressed and had her coat on, which was strangely disappointing.
“Look at me with your special sight. Look closely. What do you see?”
It took some effort to bring the magic sight into my eyes. When it arrived the room looked different, brighter in a way it was difficult to describe.
“Look at me. Not the furniture.” Betty sounded anxious, though I could see no reason for it.
I focused on her. She was glowing a faint blue. This must be seeing a person’s aura. I’d read about psychics would could do that. “I see a blue glow around you.”
“Humans glow blue unless they are ill. Then you might see any other color or distortions in the glow. Look closer. Can you see only blue?”
I focused and zoomed my magic vision in on her. At the very boundary where her body stopped and the blue began was something else.
“It’s like someone has outlined you with a gold pen. It’s so faint I
can hardly see it.”
Betty sighed and her whole body relaxed. “That’s good. The gold tells you that I have a little Norn in me. The Norns could see the future and they disappeared from the Earth a long time ago. They weren’t human, but they sometimes bred with us. That’s how come I have the sight.”
“How do you know all this?” Were there text books I could read?
Betty looked at me as though I was stupid. A look I was familiar with, as my wives used it on me often. “I just told you, I have the sight.”
“And will this new ability be useful against the Elves?”
“Is that who you’re facing, Elves? I didn’t know they existed.” Betty smiled when I nodded. “Listen, I have something else to tell you. Do you still have the knife from the hoard?”
I was surprised she hadn’t felt it as it was in my trouser pocket. I carried it everywhere. Patting the pocket in question I nodded my head.
“If you prick your thumb with its point and smear your blood over the blade it will help reveal the truth. I don’t know how; I only know it will. But you must only use it when all else has failed.”
“It won’t kill me then?”
Betty gave me another of those wifely looks. “It might, if you faint at the sight of your own blood. Whatever gave you that idea?”
“Something someone said.”
Betty looked at her phone. “I have to go. If I don’t get back by milking time, Dad will be mad at me.” While undoubtedly true, I got the impression she had other reasons to get out of the house. She was almost prancing with anxiety.
She turned to go, stopping at the living room door to look back at me. “You’re little man is hanging out.”
I looked down and found she was right.
“This will happen again. Don’t get all Christian morality over it.” She grinned. “And you’re quite good, considering your complete lack of experience.”
She left the room and a few moments later I heard the front door slam closed.
I sat on the sofa and cleaned the room as only a wizard can. The cups of tea we never drank had been knocked over and I took some time making sure the stains were completely out of the carpet. It was important my parents never found out what had happened here. Going into the hall, I checked myself out in the full length mirror. Fortunately, it only required the magical equivalent of a brush down to get my costume back into shape. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of something lunging at me in the mirror and dived to one side.
The knife in the man’s hand hit the mirror and shattered glass over the floor. There were screams behind me and I turned to see two men in togas coming at me with what looked like Mam’s kitchen knives. I scrambled away from all three of them, forgetting for vital seconds that I was a wizard. A twelve inch bread knife ripped through the air towards my stomach.
Then I remembered who I was and the knife stopped abruptly in midair. A second later all the men were disarmed and lifted into the air; arms pinned behind their backs. I clicked my fingers and the mirror reformed, every piece of glass restored to its formed place and fused together at a molecular level. Glass, I understood.
I left the men hanging in the air while I sauntered into the living room and found my wizard’s hat. The feather had broken, but that was the work of a moment to fix. Putting it on at a jaunty angle I returned to the hall and picked up Mam’s knives. The one that had hit the mirror had a bent blade and I spent a few moments straightening it before walking into the kitchen. I put them back in the wooden block they’d come from.
All this took place in silence. The men were breathing heavily, but had not cried out in any way, even when I picked up the knives.
I recognized them. The togas were a bit of a giveaway when it came right down to it. They were Alisandra’s husbands. They had no magical abilities, and yet someone had hopped them into my parents’ house so they could attack me with Mam’s kitchen knives. Weird did not even begin to cover it.
A wave of my hand and the men floated through the air into the kitchen and lined up in front of me. It occurred to me that they could have succeeded. I might be a wizard, but a knife in the back is still a knife in the back and I can’t spend every waking moment hiding behind a shield. Because their attack had been physical it took me precious moments to think to use magic against them. I could well have died.
“Can I ask you gentlemen exactly what you think you were doing?”
They looked at me in a baffled manner. I had asked them in English. I tried again in their language.
This time they looked guilty, but didn’t answer.
“Do you really want me to use compulsion on you?”
“We were sent,” big cock man answered. I’d forgotten their names but not their attributes. Seriously, being told that sort of thing would stick in anybody’s mind.
“Alisandra needs you to return,” endurance man continued.
“She is distraught,” masseur man told me tearfully.
Yeah, well, fine except…
“She wants me dead and to return to her?”
The men wriggled against their invisible bonds, struggling to get free.
“Do not tell her,” masseur man said desperately.
“It was our idea, we hate you,” endurance man continued.
“We were jealous,” big cock man sniveled. “You don’t know what it is like to love a goddess.”
Okay, I got the picture. That lust magic I’d put on Alisandra must still be working and she’d sent the three stooges here on a mission to ask me to come back to her. They decided to eliminate the competition instead, hence Mam’s kitchen knives. I should be more careful with magic. Leaving it on her was cruel, but I honestly thought she’d be able to remove it in minutes after I’d gone. That, at least, was something I could put right.
“Let’s go and stop your goddess lusting after me, if that’s all right with you?”
The men nodded eagerly. I released them and they staggered to stay upright as they hit the floor.
“I have a spell,” endurance man said, but I ignored him.
Their images flew across my hopscotch court and I followed them back to Alisandra’s home.
Which turned out to be a white marble palace in Greek god style, you know the sort of thing, all carved columns and plinths. Alisandra sat on a stone throne that must have been very uncomfortable, not to mention cold on the nether regions. She wore her usual, not-very-much. Her head was down and shoulders slumped. Not a happy lady by any stretch of the imagination.
As her husbands appeared in front of her they took up kneeling positions. She looked up, saw them and then me. Her eyes were red and she looked as though she hadn’t slept since we last met. As soon as she saw me she attempted to smile and then she started crying.
This had gone far enough. I switched to magic sight preparing to remove the spell. The trouble was, when I looked, it wasn’t there. There was no magic about her at all, though her otherwise blue aura was speckled with flecks of orange near her head.
“I removed the magic you put on me as soon as you left,” Alisandra said between sobs. “It is my heart you have taken, Wizard Morrissey.”
Several replies ran through my head.
“Don’t be silly, we’ve hardly met,” was the one that reached my mouth. As if I don’t have enough problems, I’ve now got a love sick representative.
She slid off the throne and rushed over to me, sinking to her knees as she took my hand. I took a half-step back because her head was in danger of burying itself into my crotch. She looked up at me longingly.
“Men in my world do as they are told. We talk of being as foolish as a man. As hopeless as one. You have shown me what a true barbarian man can be like and I want to be your slave.”
I had a sudden feeling that Esmeralda was behind me and turned to look. If she ever heard anyone say that to me I’d never hear the last of it.
“I’m already taken, Alisandra, but I think you’ll find the multiverse is full of men that wi
ll treat you as a bit of rough.” Cardiff sprang to mind.
She scowled up at me. “And do any of them possess your magic? I think not, Wizard. It is you I want, not some posturing fool.”
I could almost hear Esmeralda’s voice replying to that, ‘well, make up your mind, he is both after all.’ This woman must never ever meet Esmeralda. I made a mental note to remind myself.
“Get up.” I lifted her to her feet and she pressed her ample breasts against my chest. I couldn’t look down at her face without seeing them. “This has to stop.”
“Am I not pleasing to you?” she said, looking for all the world like a crestfallen little girl. A little girl with enormous compelling breasts. I shook my head to clear it.
“You are very pleasing to the eye, but I’m otherwise engaged at the moment.” God, did that sentence come out wrong.
She smiled. “Then there is hope. May I see you at the conference?”
I nodded. It seemed safer as my mouth had developed a mind of its own.
“Then farewell, Wizard Morrissey, until we meet again.”
I hopped to the BatCave, as her almost non-existent clothing began to fall from her shoulders.
[Five minutes you said, three hours ago.] There was a long pause as my dragon looked me over. [And you smell of two women, neither of them your wives.]
There are some secrets you can’t keep from your dragon. I could only hope that Jenny’s link with him didn’t get any better, or I was going to be in real trouble.
“It’s complicated,” I said as I fell into the nearest chair.
The Temple of Representatives had not changed since we last visited. A seemingly infinite set of columns as far as the eye could see.
“How do we find Farolan?”
[Simply think of him. This place is not real and who you see between the pillars is largely who you expect to see.]