It was hard to get through work without day-dreaming about Tom, but Oscar thought my ideas and suggestions for improving the induction week were good. I managed to spill hot tea down my new blue skater dress, but otherwise my day went well.
Tom rang that evening and told me his meeting was good; I still didn’t ask for any particular details, and was quite proud of myself. He was really excited at the prospect of meeting my friends so I arranged to go to Sasha and Dean’s new house for dinner on Friday. Saturday, Tom said he was taking me out for dinner ‘someplace nice.’
Wednesday I met Laura for lunch.
The Swan was a pub we went to during our last few years at school. They weren’t too strict on asking for ID back then, and most of their clientele was probably underage. The red carpet was always sticky, and there was always a smoky fog and the smell of stale beer. But beggars couldn’t be choosers, so my friends and I had flocked there on a regular basis.
A few years after we’d left school, new owners had come in and turned the place around. I hadn’t been back since but my parents had told me it was a nice place to eat in, these days.
I stepped through the door and gasped at the transformation; there was real wooden flooring, a new bar which was in a different position, and the air was clear since the smoking ban had relieved everyone from second-hand smoke.
I looked round and spotted Laura sitting at a small table in the corner, reading the menu. I almost wouldn’t have recognised her if it wasn’t for the Facebook stalking I’d done before I came. She’d put on a few pounds, but it suited her. Her hair was shorter too, cut into a jaw-length bob, and she had honey coloured highlights through her chestnut hair. And she looked tired. Really tired.
“Hey stranger,” I said as I approached her.
“Hey you!” she jumped up and threw her arms around me. She was wearing the same Chanel perfume she’d worn as a teenager, which was comforting; she was still the girl I’d known and loved since I was a kid.
We sat down and caught up on the basics at first, she told me about her kids and how they got up at stupid o’clock each day and she never got enough sleep. We ordered scampi and chips, and when it arrived I started to tell her about my life. I mentioned my house and job and, eventually, that I was seeing someone.
“So what’s his name?”
“Tom. Tom Green.”
“Oh that’s funny, like the Tom Green,” she said, spearing a chip with her fork and dipping it in ketchup.
“It is the Tom Green,” I said, watching her face for a reaction.
She laughed gently, then looked at me and saw I was serious.
“What? Tom Green, as in our Tom from Four Apes?”
“The very same. You want to see a photo?”
I pulled my tattered handbag to my lap and found my phone.
“See?”
“Oh my god,” She put her fork down and took the phone off me.
“He’s still a hottie!”
I grinned. “I know.”
“So, tell me everything.”
Luckily, I’d booked the afternoon off work because everything took a while to tell. Laura wanted every detail, from the first moment I’d seen him, to what his hair looked like, to each and every word he’d said to me. We giggled as I shared all, and it was nice to finally talk to someone who really knew how big a deal this was.
“So you really like him, huh?”
“I think I love him, Laura. I know it’s fast, but he’s the nicest, kindest guy I’ve ever met. We just click, you know? I’ve totally fallen for him.”
“Aw, I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you,” I said, sighing as I thought about how happy I was for myself, too.
“Shame you didn’t meet him before I got married. I’d like an introduction to George, but as a single woman.”
I laughed. “Laura!”
“Well, a girl can still have a celebrity crush, even when she’s married.”
“I haven’t told him, that I was a big fan I mean.”
“I don’t blame you. Might be a bit weird.”
I nodded and bit my lip.
“What? Don’t feel guilty about it. That was a long time ago.”
“But there’s more.”
“More to what?”
“Jasper.”
“What about him? He was a teen crush you had as a kid, I’m sure Tom won’t care about that now. And who’s going to tell him anyway?”
“I met Jasper.”
“What! When?”
“When I was 21.”
She gasped.
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“We were both at uni so I hadn’t seen you for a while, and I didn’t tell anyone. It’s a long story.”
“But you could have called! Or emailed me! I can’t believe you never told me.”
“Sorry.”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“Like I said, it’s a long story.”
“So, come on, spill. What happened?”
Chapter Thirteen
After pushing the button for the penthouse suite, I turned to face Jasper and he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to his chest. His lips were on mine and they felt rough and his breath smelt of cigarettes, but I threw my arms around his neck and let him kiss me. It wasn’t a nice kiss, it was a rough, wet kiss, but sexy nonetheless. My head went into a spin; I’m kissing Jasper Ryan. Oh my goodness. If I’d had two seconds to spare, I’d have pinched myself but before I knew it, he was pulling me out of the lift, past a security guard and into his penthouse suite.
I pulled away, needing to catch my breath for a moment.
“Oh wow, this is amazing,” I told him, looking around at the huge plump sofas, the fireplace and a great view.
“Not too shabby, eh?” He grinned and went to the bar. “What can I get you?”
“What are you having?” I asked, unsure if a WKD Blue was cool enough, or even likely to be found back there.
“How about some champagne?” he asked, opening the fridge. Yuck.
“Lovely.”
He put two flutes on the bar and popped the bottle open. I went over to the window and looked out. The sun was setting and the sky was shades of pink, orange and red.
“What a beautiful night,” I said. I glanced at Jasper and he flashed me another grin. Wow, he was gorgeous.
“Come and sit,” he said, gesturing to the sofas. I sat down and he came over and sat next to me. I took a flute of the champagne and we chinked glasses.
“To elevators breaking down,” Jasper said, “and turning this night from a boring one to a very interesting one.”
I took a swig of champagne; it was surprisingly delicious. I guess you got what you paid for. My earlier confidence had vanished and now I felt a bit awkward. I shrugged off my jacket and then took another big gulp of champagne. Jasper was leaning back on the sofa, watching me carefully.
“So, what were you doing today? You were working earlier?”
“Just a TV interview.”
I nodded. “Cool.”
“So, you know who I am.”
“Of course I do.”
“Do you think I’m an arsehole?”
“No!”
I was going to need more champagne. Much more. I downed my glass and he immediately filled it up.
“Why would I think you’re an arsehole?”
“I guess because a lot of people do. The press say people either love me or they hate me.”
“Like marmite?”
He laughed. “Exactly.”
“Well, I don’t hate you.”
“So you love me?”
Yes, I do, I thought to myself. I love the image of you, the persona that you present to your fans, but this real you is a bit intense. Intense but sexy and, wow, I love the way you’re looking at me right now.
“I like your music, yeah,” I told him.
“Well, thank you Emma.”
“Ellen.”
He chuckled.
I would be insulted, but this was Jasper Ryan. I could forgive him for most things.
“Ellen, sorry.”
“I’m not going to sleep with you,” I told him. “I don’t do one night stands.”
He raised his eyebrows. “So why did you come up here with me?”
“Because I’m a fan.”
There, I’d said it.
He laughed. “But you don’t want to sleep with me.”
“Nope. I’m not that girl.”
“So I still don’t get it. Why did you come up here? So we could become friends? Or so that I’d fall in love with you?” He chuckled again.
I shrugged. “No, of course not. I’m not sure why now.”
His arrogance was kind of irritating, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his.
“Respect to you, Ellen,” he said, emphasising my name. “Tell me about yourself.”
So I did, I told him the basic facts about my life. And he listened, he actually sat there, looking at me with those lovely deep blue eyes of his, without drinking or making any comments. He just listened.
“So what’re you going to do with your life?” he asked me.
“Probably work in an office somewhere. Boring, I know.”
“You don’t have to be boring.”
I shrugged and sipped some more champagne.
“Seriously. You could do anything.”
“I know… I just don’t know what I want, I suppose.”
“You’ll figure it out.”
Jasper Ryan, giving me life advice. I didn’t see that one coming.
“And you said you’re a fan. Did you like Four Apes?”
“Yep. Loved Four Apes. Been to see you live quite a few times too, both with the band and solo.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Do you prefer me with the band, or on my own?”
“That’s a tricky question,” I told him.
“I know, I get asked it all the time.”
“I think I preferred the band, slightly.”
“Well, don’t tell anyone but so did I.”
“Then why did you split them up?”
“It wasn’t all me, you know. Don’t believe everything you read.”
“Okay, fair enough.”
I sat back on the other end of the sofa, facing him, and put my legs up. He grinned and did the same, lifting my legs gently so they were resting on his.
“Is this okay? Seeing as we’re going to be friends and all?”
I laughed. “Sure, it’s nice.”
“I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you’re just so honest… and sure of yourself.”
“I feel anything but sure of myself! I’m a nervous wreck.”
He laughed again. I loved hearing him laugh, even if it was at my expense.
“Why would you be nervous? We’re not going to screw each other, you said it yourself.”
“Because I’ve had a crush on you for a long time.”
I didn’t know where my bold statements were coming from, but this was not how I’d imagined an evening would go if I were ever lucky enough to be alone with Jasper Ryan. Which I had in fact imagined many, many times.
“Well, if you knew the real me, that’d end pretty fast. One night is about as much as most women can stand.”
“Wow, trying to make me feel sorry for you are you? All alone in this penthouse, rolling in cash, women throwing themselves at you?”
“You’re not throwing yourself at me.”
I had no idea why I wasn’t throwing myself at him; he was even better looking right now than I’d ever realised before, and he’d already been top of my list of celebrity men I’d like to snog.
Oh my goodness, I’d snogged Jasper. And that was his leg leaning against mine.
He shuffled up the sofa until both our knees were touching and took my hands.
“I like you, Ellen.”
I felt myself blush and didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled.
“You’re drunk,” I said. “Are you ever sober?”
He let go of my hands immediately and backed away a little.
“I’m not that drunk. And today’s the first time I’ve had a drink in three months, actually.”
“So why are you drinking today then?”
“My dad.”
“Oh, yeah. So he’s sick?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry. But drinking won’t help.”
He moved back and took my hands again.
“I think you’re going to make a great friend, actually.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yes. You’re sensible. I need a sensible friend.”
“You mean I’m boring?”
“You’re also beautiful,” he said, ignoring my question.
“Thank you.” I blushed again. Jasper thought I was beautiful. I pinched my leg, but I didn’t wake up.
“I’m not sure I should have a beautiful friend. I’d want to shag you too much, and it’d ruin our friendship.”
I laughed. “You sound like Harry.”
“Harry?”
“From When Harry met Sally. He said men and women can never be friends.”
“And they ended up together, right?”
“Yes.”
“My point exactly.”
He stroked my hand with his finger, sending a bolt of electricity through me. Wow, I wanted him. Was I really going to turn him down? Sure, he’d dump me in the morning – or maybe even later tonight – sure, I’d be one of many, many girls. But this was Jasper Ryan, sex god, rock star, the man I’d dreamt of since, well, forever.
He reached up and touched my cheek lightly and I couldn’t bring myself to push him away. Then he leaned in gently and kissed me on the lips, much more softly this time, and I leant forward and pushed him back so that I was lying on top of him. His kisses moved to my neck and I groaned. Okay, I was going to let this happen. Sod my principles. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Music starting blaring from the coffee table and he pushed me up a little and grabbed his mobile.
“Sorry, it’s my brother.”
I nodded and moved back to my end of the sofa as he answered his phone and stood up. He went over to the window.
“Ant, everything ok?” he said, sounding vulnerable and concerned. “Oh fuck, seriously?”
There was a pain in his voice that made me feel sad.
“No, I can’t get a flight until the morning… I tried that, it’s impossible. It’s the weather… Okay, keep me posted. Tell him I love him. Thanks, bro.”
He hung up, and stared down at his phone for a minute, then ran his fingers through his hair and stared out at the fading light.
“I’m sorry about that,” he said quietly.
“It’s fine. Is everything okay?” I came and stood behind him and put my hand on his back. He turned to me and there were tears in his eyes.
“He’s not going to make it,” he said, his voice breaking. “They said he had at least six months, just the other day. Now they say a few hours. I can’t believe this is happening and I’m not going to be there.”
“Oh Jasper, I’m so sorry,” I said, wrapping my arms around him and squeezing him, mostly because I didn’t know what else to do. He put his arms around me and I felt his chest shake as he let a few tears come.
“I’ll go,” I said, pulling away. He nodded and turned back to look out at the night sky. “You never know,” I said as I found my handbag by the sofa, “he might hold out another day or so, you might get to see him tomorrow.”
“Thanks Ellen. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking angry, I should never have come here.”
“But you did, and you can’t change that, so don’t be too hard on yourself. He’s got your mum there, right? And Ant? And is Beth there too?”
He turned and looked at me with a small smirk. “You really are a fan.”
I laughed nervously and nodded
. “Sorry. I’m not crazy, honestly. But I was only 13 when you guys made it big, and well, yeah… so I know your siblings’ names.”
He chuckled. “I don’t think you’re crazy. And yes, my brother and sister are both there. And Mum.”
“So don’t feel guilty, then.”
“Thank you.”
I turned to go.
“It was nice meeting you,” I said at the door.
“You too,” he smiled. “Fuck, I feel sober now.” He went over to the bar.
“No! Jasper, you don’t need to drink yourself into oblivion.”
“What else am I going to do? There’s no way I can get to New York tonight, all flights are cancelled. I’ve got all this bloody money and none of it matters because I can’t get to him.”
His eyes filled up again.
“I don’t know, but drinking won’t help.”
He shrugged, and to my surprise, went back to the window and stared out at it, without a drink.
I opened the door. “Take care,” I called.
“Ellen?”
“Yeah?”
“Stay. I mean, if you want. I’d like some company.”
“Are you sure?”
“Ellen, I need you to stay. If you don’t mind.”
It was Jasper Ryan. How could I refuse?
Chapter Fourteen
Laura was astounded when I told her exactly what happened. Her jaw hung open while I was talking and she sat quite still, not eating or drinking, just staring as I shared everything Jasper had said. I’d recalled it so many times over the years, I could still remember almost every word.
“I remember reading about that,” she said. “About his dad dying.”
“Yeah, it was really sad.”
“And he never called you?”
“I gave him my number, but he never called, no.”
Why did that still hurt?
“I can’t believe all this.”
The Truth About Ellen: A feel-good romantic comedy Page 8