‘Did I say something to upset you?’ Alison said anxiously.
Jack shook his head. ‘It wasn’t you. I just realised how remiss I’ve been by not getting Dad and Freddie together.’ He shrugged. ‘It’s no secret that we have a rather rocky relationship, but I should have made more of an effort.’
‘You haven’t had much free time since you came back,’ she pointed out.
‘That’s no excuse. I should have sorted something out.’
She touched his arm briefly. ‘You’re not Superman, Jack. You can only be in one place at any one time. Anyway, I’m sure Nick understands how difficult it is to juggle work and everything else.’
‘I hope so.’
Jack smiled, because he didn’t want her to worry any more about his problems. He rang the bell and waited for a member of staff to admit them. Most of the children stayed all day at the nursery, so there were only a couple of other parents there. He and Alison signed in, then went to the room where the three-year-olds were playing. Trish Atkins, the nursery nurse in charge of the children, came hurrying over to him.
‘I’m glad you’re here, Dr Tremayne. Did you get my message?’
‘What message?’ Jack asked, his stomach sinking as he looked around the room. There was no sign of Freddie, and he felt panic well up inside him as he wondered what had happened to him.
‘I left a message on your home phone,’ Trish informed him. ‘Freddie has been very upset this morning and I thought I should let you know.’
‘Upset? About what?’ Jack demanded.
‘I’ve no idea because he won’t tell me,’ Trish explained, looking worried.
‘Was he upset when my father brought him in?’ Jack demanded. Waking up to find a virtual stranger in the house must have been scary for the child, and he should have thought about that, although he had no idea what he could have done about it in the circumstances.
‘He seemed a little subdued, but he’s usually very quiet so it wasn’t unusual. He wasn’t crying, though,’ Trish added.
‘Where is he now?’ Jack said.
‘One of the staff is sitting in the quiet room with him. We thought it was best if we kept him away from the others in case he upset them, too.’
Jack followed her through a door at the far end of the room, his heart aching when he saw his son curled up on a mat in the corner, sobbing his little heart out. He hurried across the room and scooped him into his arms. ‘Hey, tiger, what’s wrong?’
Freddie took a gulping breath as he wrapped his arms tightly around Jack’s neck. Jack could feel him shuddering as he lifted him up. ‘It’s OK,’ he crooned, kissing the top of his head. ‘Daddy’s here and he won’t let anything hurt you.’
Freddie was inconsolable as he clung to him, and Jack was at a loss to know what to do. He desperately wanted to comfort him, but he didn’t know where to start. His gaze went to Alison, who had followed him into the room, and his heart caught again when he saw the expression on her face. Alison understood how powerless he felt, and realising it seemed to unleash all his fears.
Up till now he had been putting on a brave face, but he needed help if he was to get through to Freddie. Although he did his best, he didn’t have any experience of dealing with such a young child. He had been thrown in at the deep end when he had taken custody of Freddie. He hadn’t had time to learn how to be a good father to him, but if he didn’t get it right he would never build a proper relationship with his son. The thought scared him to death.
Jack took a deep breath as panic gripped him. He needed help and he needed it now. Although he could ask Lucy’s advice, she was in much the same boat as him. She was a new parent, too, and she was just learning what having a child was all about. His father was the next best option but, bearing in mind their already strained relationship, Jack didn’t want to go down that route. That left him with just one other choice—one he wasn’t sure if he should consider.
His gaze rested on Alison as he felt a sudden tightening in his chest. Could he ask Alison for help? Should he ask her when he was experiencing all these strange ideas about her? He would hate to think that he might solve one problem only to find himself with an even bigger one on his hands.
CHAPTER SEVEN
ALISON could have wept when she saw the anguish on Jack’s face as he cradled Freddie in his arms. Hurrying forward, she put her hand on his arm. ‘Let’s take him home. He’s far too upset to stay here for the rest of the day.’
‘You’re right.’
Jack tried to smile, but she could tell the effort it cost him and her heart went out to him. She squeezed his arm, wanting him to know that she understood how he felt. ‘I’ll just fetch Sam and then we’ll leave.’
She went back to the playroom and found Sam. He skipped along beside her as they left the nursery, and his joyful attitude was such a contrast to Freddie’s obvious unhappiness that it made her see something had to be done. When they reached the road she turned to Jack.
‘Would you like to come home with us? It might help to take Freddie’s mind off whatever is bothering him if he plays with Sam for a while.’
‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’ Jack said hesitantly. ‘It seems like such an imposition…’
‘Rubbish! Of course it isn’t an imposition. In fact, I insist you come back and have some lunch. It’s my half-day off because I’m working on Saturday morning, so I don’t need to go back to the surgery, if that’s what you’re worried about. To be frank, you’re in no fit state to cope on your own.’
‘It’s that obvious?’ Jack gave her the ghost of his usual multi-megawatt smile. ‘I don’t think I could punch my way out of a paper bag at this precise moment, to be honest.’
‘No wonder, after the night you’ve had,’ she said sympathetically.
Jack sighed as they crossed the road. ‘If it was just tiredness, I could cope. It’s seeing Freddie like this which is so hard to deal with. I don’t know what to do for the best to help him.’
‘I understand how difficult it is, Jack, but you have to hang in there.’ She glanced at the little boy and lowered her voice. ‘Freddie needs you. That’s obvious from the way he’s clinging to you.’
‘It is, isn’t it?’ Jack said wonderingly. He turned to her and she saw tears welling in his eyes. ‘It’s the first time he’s ever shown any sign of affection towards me.’
‘Then it’s a real breakthrough. Just hold onto that thought.’
She waited while Jack unlocked his car. Fortunately, there was a built-in child seat in the rear armrest so there was no question of Sam not being safely strapped in. Jack got Freddie settled, then slid into the driving seat. He started the engine, then glanced in the rear-view mirror.
‘Freddie seems a bit calmer now, doesn’t he?’
‘He does. He just needs time to get over whatever it was that upset him and he’ll be fine.’
‘I just wish I knew what started it all off,’ Jack said flatly. ‘I feel as though I’m stumbling about in the dark all the time because he won’t talk to me.’
‘He will eventually,’ she said encouragingly. ‘He just needs time and a lot of love.’
Jack didn’t say anything, but she could tell he wasn’t convinced the solution was so simple. Maybe it wasn’t that simple, but she was sure that what Freddie needed most of all was love, and Jack seemed to have an abundance of that when it came to his son. Whether he had enough love to spare for a woman as well was another matter. From what she had gleaned from all those press reports, he seemed to be commitment-phobic. He fell in love, and fell out of it again even faster.
She sighed. Jack’s love life had nothing to do with her. Although she was happy to help him with Freddie, she wasn’t going to make the mistake of getting involved with him on a personal level.
By the time they arrived at Alison’s house Freddie seemed much calmer. Jack carried him inside and took off his coat. He frowned as he watched his son run over and kneel down beside Sam. ‘He looks much happier now, doesn’t
he?’
‘Yes, he does. And he’ll look even better after he’s had something to eat. You, too,’ she added, heading for the kitchen.
‘Are you sure you don’t mind feeding us?’ Jack followed her, but the kitchen was only big enough to accommodate one person comfortably so he propped himself against the door rather than crowd her.
‘Of course I don’t mind!’ She opened a cupboard and took out a couple of tins. ‘Beans on toast all right?’
‘Lovely,’ he said fervently, then grinned when she looked at him in surprise. ‘I’ve had nothing to eat since last night, so beans on toast sounds like manna from heaven to my poor empty stomach.’
‘First time I’ve heard them described as that,’ she said lightly.
Jack watched as she found a pan to heat the beans, then cut some bread for the toast. He had never mastered the art of cooking, and he admired the way she seemed so at home in the kitchen. ‘I never seem to get the timing right. Either the toast is cold by the time the beans are ready or vice versa.’
‘It’s just practice.’ She buttered the toast and piled the beans on top, then handed him two of the plates. ‘These are for the boys, if you could take them through.’
‘Right you are.’
Jack took the plates in and put them on the table, then went back for the cutlery. Alison handed him the knives and forks, then picked up the other two plates.
‘I’ll bring these in.’
Jack laid the table, then called the boys over. Sam immediately climbed onto a chair, but Freddie didn’t look too sure about the arrangements. Pulling out a chair, Jack bent down so that he was at eye level with him.
‘You can sit on this chair or on my knee, Freddie. It’s up to you.’
The little boy glanced at Sam, then scrambled onto the chair. Jack smiled at him as he pushed him closer to the table. ‘Good boy.’
Jack sat down and tucked into his own meal, wolfing down the food as though his life depended on it. He was so hungry that he couldn’t remember a meal ever tasting so good, and said so.
Alison laughed. ‘What about all those wonderful meals you had in London?’
‘Vastly overrated. Forget the champagne and caviar. I prefer good old baked beans on toast any day of the week!’
‘If you expect me to believe that, you must think I’m really gullible.’ She started to gather up the plates, but Jack took them from her.
‘I’ll do that. You cooked, so it’s only fair that I do the washing-up.’
‘There’s no need,’ she protested, following him to the kitchen.
‘Of course there is.’ He put the plates in the sink and turned on the taps. ‘Where do you keep the washing-up liquid?’
‘In here.’
She reached around him to open the cupboard door at the same moment as Jack turned. His body brushed up hard against hers and every cell suddenly went on the alert. He could feel the softness of her breasts pressing against the wall of his chest and froze.
‘Sorry.’
There was a breathy quality to her voice that sent the blood rushing to his head and he bit back a moan. Another second of this torture and he wouldn’t be held responsible for his actions!
‘Here you are.’
Alison shoved a bottle of detergent into his hands and hastily retreated. Jack’s head cleared as though by magic. He added a squirt of detergent to the water and plunged his hands in, yelping when he discovered how hot it was.
‘Have you scalded yourself? Let me see.’
Suddenly Alison was behind him, her breasts nudging his shoulderblade as she tried to peer around him, and Jack gulped in air like a drowning man. There was only so much temptation a man could stand and he was well past his limit.
‘I’m fine,’ he said gruffly.
‘Are you sure?’ She leant forward, unconsciously piling on the agony as her breasts flattened themselves against his back.
‘Quite sure,’ he said, hoping she couldn’t hear the panic in his voice. ‘Would you mind checking on Freddie for me? I don’t want him thinking he’s been abandoned again.’
‘Oh, yes, of course.’
She hurried from the kitchen and Jack was left on his own. Picking up a plate, he sluiced it in the hot water, wishing he could wash away the feelings that were rioting around inside him. He couldn’t recall feeling so aroused before in his life, and couldn’t understand why he felt this way. Was it the fact that he hadn’t had sex for months that was causing the problem? he wondered suddenly.
Since Freddie had appeared on the scene he hadn’t had time to think about his sex life. It hadn’t been a priority before that either, because he’d been devoting every waking minute to his career. In fact, thinking back, it must be over six months since he’d been out with a woman, and closer to a year since he’d slept with anyone.
It was a shock to realise that, although it did help to explain why he was so responsive when he was around Alison. Jack breathed a sigh of relief as he finished washing the dishes. It had been scary to think there was something special about Alison when the answer was actually so mundane.
He dried his hands and went back to the sitting room. Alison was kneeling on the floor, playing with the boys. She laughed when Sam crashed his toy car into a tower of plastic blocks and sent them skittering across the floor, but Jack didn’t join in. The blood was pounding inside his head again, and pounding through other parts of his body as well. Maybe the lack of sex was a contributing factor, but it was hard to believe it was the only reason he felt this way. What if it was Alison who was making him feel like this? What if he was falling in love with her?
A couple of months ago Jack would have scoffed at the idea of him falling in love, but he would have scoffed at the idea of him being a father, too. As he had discovered to his cost, life didn’t follow a plan—it kept throwing up obstacles, and the trick was not to trip over them. He had avoided love in the past, but who said he could continue doing so?
The only guaranteed way he could avoid falling in love with Alison was to move away, and he couldn’t do that because of Freddie. Freddie needed stability in his life; he needed people around him whom he could learn to trust. Jack couldn’t uproot the child again. He had to stay here, and if that meant dealing with his feelings, that was what he would do. Freddie’s needs would always come first.
‘That’s cheating!’
Alison grabbed hold of Sam and tickled him until he squealed with laughter. Glancing up, she felt her heart lurch when she saw Jack watching them. She had no idea what he was thinking at that moment, but he looked desperately unhappy. She gave Sam a final hug and stood up.
‘How about you and Freddie doing some drawing for a change? If you clear away the cars, I’ll find you some paper.’ She headed to the door, nodding her thanks when Jack moved out of her way. ‘I’ll just get them settled down and then put some coffee on.’
‘That would be great. Thanks.’
He gave her a quick smile, but she could see how strained he looked and it worried her. Jack was one of the most confident people she’d ever met, so why did he appear so ill at ease all of a sudden?
Alison mulled it over as she went into the kitchen for some paper and the felt-tipped pens. She had no idea why Jack was so on edge. She certainly couldn’t think of anything she’d done to make him feel that way. In the end she decided that she was imagining things, so she got the boys settled and went to make the coffee.
Jack was slumped on the sofa when she got back. He looked so worn out that her heart ached for him. He glanced round when he heard her come into the room and smiled.
‘I was just about to nod off,’ he explained, sitting up. He moved the coffee-table closer to the sofa, then took the tray from her.
‘Power naps are the latest craze, I believe,’ Alison told him lightly, kneeling down on the rug so she could pour the coffee.
‘Power naps, eh? I must remember that if I’m caught on the hop in work,’ he said, his blue eyes filling with laughter. ‘It soun
ds much more professional than admitting that you’re having forty winks!’
Alison chuckled. ‘It certainly does. I believe all the City bankers are using the phrase to explain why they’re asleep at their desks.’
‘I don’t blame them. If I had to spend my days poring over a lot of dusty old figures, I’d probably be taking power naps, too.’
The muscles in his arm flexed as he reached for the sugar, and she felt her heart bounce up and down a couple of times. She hurriedly stood up, refusing to allow herself too much leeway where Jack was concerned. Picking up her cup, she took it over to the chair and sat down, kicking off her shoes and tucking her feet beneath her. Jack murmured contentedly as he sipped some of his coffee, then leant back against the cushions.
‘I think I’m just about coming back down to earth. It was a really busy night.’
‘I believe Ryan Lovelace was one of the kids who were injured?’ Alison said, cradling her cup in her hands.
‘That’s right. Apparently he went back into the bus to help his friends and that’s how he got burned.’
‘How bad is he?’
‘The burn to his face should heal without leaving much of a scar, but his left arm is a different story. There’s some damage to the muscle as well as to the skin and the subcutaneous tissue. Muscle damage is extremely difficult to repair and it’s going to take time to sort it all out.’
‘What a shame! And after he was so brave, too.’
‘I know. It doesn’t seem fair, does it?’ he said. ‘Anyway, I’ve done some of the preliminary work, so that’s a start, and I’m hoping to get another shot at it later this week. I need to see how much more tissue needs excising first. I’ve removed any that was obviously burned but there could be deterioration in the coming days and I might need to remove some more.’
Caroline Anderson, Sara Morgan, Josie Metcalfe, Jennifer Taylor Page 55