But as her Boeing 747 flew high over the Midwest, all that had happened in Sedona began to take on the fuzziness of a dream. The temptation to dismiss it all and fall back into her old habits was strong. Her resolves for daily meditation, positive attitudes and more attention to her inner needs could easily be left behind with Sedona’s sunshine, except that they were part of what now resided at her center. When she ventured to look inside, she saw him there. Kieran, with his smile, his dark, beckoning eyes, and the twist of wryness that sometimes turned up the corner of his mouth. Those resolves were somehow a promise to him. And that other resolve too—Dana reflected with a certain amount of trepidation. To reclaim and preserve her “spiritual virginity.” Unfortunately, that meant shutting the door on certain aspects of her social life. She couldn’t very well reclaim any kind of virginity while cutting a swath through the male population of DC.
Could she do it? Did she even want to do it? Dana didn’t consider herself promiscuous. She was careful. She was smart. But she enjoyed an active, healthy sex life, if one could consider a dozen failed relationships a healthy sex life. Could she reel herself in and make her self behave?
And really, why should she? It’s not like she would see Joshua Gellis—Master Kieran—ever again.
Except that she would. Dana knew she would. There was a connection between her and Kieran. Distance could stretch the connection, but she could go halfway around the world without breaking it. Her certainty didn’t make sense, but there it was. Kieran knew it also, maybe better than she, because he believed in such silly things as fate and karma and the universe manipulating individual lives.
That morning they hadn’t really said goodbye. He had played bellman again, carrying her luggage to her little sunshine-yellow Beetle. While she literally vibrated with the tension of his nearness and the prospect of leaving him behind, he had merely smiled his relaxed smile and kissed her chastely on the forehead.
“You’ll carry all this with you inside.” With a sweep of one arm he encompassed the gardens, the magnificent valley and—Dana was sure—himself as well. “Think on the important things, and they will come to pass.”
But he hadn’t said goodbye. Neither had she.
“Hello,” said a masculine voice.
Dana looked up to see a pleasantly attractive man standing beside her row of seats.
“I notice you have a couple of seats empty. Do you mind if I sit down? My seatmate back in row twenty-five is airsick, and I thought I’d give him some privacy.” He grinned engagingly. “Actually, it was either leave or join him in his misery.”
“Be my guest.”
He sat in the aisle seat. Far enough away from Dana’s window seat to be polite, but certainly close enough to start a conversation. “Flying has gotten to be quite a chore in the last few years, hasn’t it?”
“I suppose so.” Dana gave him minus points for an unimaginative opener, though his initial gambit about the airsick seatmate wasn’t bad. He was good looking, with sharp blue eyes and just a few strands of distinguished gray in rich brown hair. A nicely tailored sport coat, chinos and a shirt open at the neck gave him just the right look of nicely dressed combined with relaxed casual. His shoes were either Gucci or a very good imitation.
All in all, the guy oozed success, good taste, and availability. Dana’s kind of man. At least, it used to be Dana’s kind of man.
“Do you live in the DC area?” he asked.
“Adams-Morgan.”
He smiled. “Very trendy place, I’ve heard. I’ve been looking into places to live. My company is opening an office in Arlington, so I’m relocating.”
“You’ll like Washington,” Dana assured him. “Great nightlife, cultural stuff, lot of sports, especially if you like baseball.”
“Oh yes. I’m a fan.”
“Then of course there’s the everyday entertainment of political scandal and skullduggery. There’s no place like DC for that sort of thing. Never a dull day.” She allowed a certain flirty slant to the smile she gave him, and he responded by leaning closer.
“You work in politics?”
She laughed. “I’m one of the very few in town who don’t. I work for an Internet greeting card company.”
“Really? How interesting. I work for a software design engineering firm. Mostly business applications.”
And from the look of him, he did very well for himself.
“What do you do in your spare time?” he asked.
And on it went, the standard cautious get-to-know-you conversation, feeling each other out for husbands/wives/ children, boyfriends/girlfriends, likes, dislikes, favorite stage play, favorite music groups. The point was to eliminate philanderers, geeks, vegetarians, teetotalers, guys who liked Barry Manilow, fans of foreign art films and anyone who had ever been kidnapped by aliens. Other strangenesses cropped up from time to time, but those were the most common. Dating in the modern world was full of pitfalls.
Dana had the technique down pat, and she played along without even thinking about it. This sort of thing was second nature to a socially active, attractive single. It was an art, really. Thrust and parry. Advance and retreat. Find out all you can without seeming too interested, reveal as little as possible without seeming uninterested—just in case the guy was worth dating.
And Mister Software Engineer was certainly worthy of a second look, and maybe a third. He was obviously successful, articulate and well-traveled with a nice laugh and good teeth. And he didn’t hide his interest in her. This guy was prime territory. Divorced, no children, hot to trot.
So why did the whole process suddenly seem so dull? Dana had always felt a tingle of excitement at the beginning of a new relationship. The ending generally left her in a blue funk, but beginnings had always been fun. But all she felt as she talked with Mister Software Engineer was a weary sense of boredom. Beside Kieran, this guy seemed colorless, bland, ordinary. He didn’t have eyes in which a woman could drown. His smile didn’t seem as if he knew everything she was thinking. His clothes and hair didn’t suggest a casual independence from the tyrannies of fashion and fad.
She caught herself smiling. The smile was from inside her, where she saw Kieran lift a brow at her thoughts. It definitely wasn’t for the vanilla-flavored fellow flapping his jaws at her, but he took it as encouragement.
“If you’re not too tired when we get in, maybe we could go somewhere and get a bite. You could fill me in on the best places to look for an apartment.”
A week ago she probably would have taken him up on the offer and looked forward to another chance at finding Mr. Right. Now she just wanted Mister Software Engineer to go away. Was this change because of that double-damned notion of reclaiming her virginity, or was the change because she had found Mr. Right? Found him and left him behind in Arizona.
“You know? I’m feeling a little tired. Actually, your mentioning airsickness a while back has made me feel a bit queasy myself. It’s an awfully rough ride today, isn’t it?”
“Uh, yeah, it is. That’s too bad. But listen, Dana, I’ll call you in a few days, okay? You’re at Heartline, did you say?”
“Allheart.com. We’re in the book. Georgetown.”
“Georgetown. Great area, I’ve heard. I’ll call you.”
“I’ll look forward to it. Really. But right now, I think I’m going to close my eyes and try not to throw up.”
There was no surer way to discourage a man than threatening to toss your cookies all over him. Dana closed her eyes and tried not to smile as Mr. Software Engineer got up and left.
When the right mate comes along, he will touch your spirit, your soul, your heart and body, and beneath his loving hand, you will be touched for the very first time.
Kieran had ruined her for any other man, it seemed. And he had done the job without even getting her into bed. Dana felt cheated.
Dana’s life picked up where it had left off. The Valentine’s Day cards were the priority, with Easter, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day around the cor
ner. These concerns were in addition to updating the sympathy, friendship, birthday and get-well cards, not to mention several different lines of romantic greetings of varying sensual degree.
Yes, indeed, there was plenty to keep Dana, queen of greeting card copy, busier than a bee at the honey farm. She didn’t even have time to be cranky.
Not that she really felt like being cranky. When she’d first walked into the Allheart offices the day after flying back, she had laughed at the look on Robyn’s face—caution (an unusual restraint for lively Robyn) mixed with curiosity, both overlaid with an unmistakable desire to run for cover.
“Was I that bad?” Dana had asked Robyn.
“Worse.”
“Well, don’t lock yourself in the closet. I’m better.”
Robyn’s pert face broke into a grin. “Was it great? Did you sit cross-legged and chant?”
Alix popped out of her office at the sound of Dana’s voice. “More likely they danced naked around a huge bonfire under the full moon. Well, Dana, do you have hairy armpits?”
Robyn’s jaw dropped, but Dana just laughed. “My Epilady still has a job.”
“Were you attacked by any goats?”
“Almost. I did get to milk one.”
Robyn’s jaw dropped lower. “Goats? You guys are teasing.”
Dana laughed. “No, we’re not. If you ever go to one of these seminars, Robyn, check the curriculum first.”
“At least you’re not such a bitch anymore.” Robyn was never one to mince words.
“I’m not a bitch,” Dana told them, posturing theatrically. “I’m a tumultuous spirit with shining potential. That’s what the guru says.”
“Well, I hope that potential is ready to get back to work.” Elyssa had stepped out of her office to see what the commotion was. “Welcome back, Dana.” The boss’s eye probed. She was one of the best probers that Dana knew. You couldn’t hide much from Elyssa Wentworth. “How was Arizona?”
Words could not describe. Arizona was warmth, sunshine, cactus, mountains, scarlet sunrises. But what descriptors could she find for The Great Kieran? Deep, dark eyes. Beautiful smile. Quirky humor. Shoulders where a woman could hide her face. Words were lame. Sexy was not nearly strong enough. Sensual didn’t quite catch it.
“Arizona was nice.” Speaking of lame.
“That’s all?”
“The seminar was cool. I bought the book. You guys are welcome to borrow it next time you feel bitchy.” Her smile was a satisfied “gotcha” as she sauntered off to her office.
The office did lunch out that first day in honor of Dana’s “recovery,” as they insisted upon calling it. They descended upon Cafemyth.com, the very place where Alix had offered Dana her place at Kieran’s workshop. So much water had passed under Dana’s bridge that it seemed that day had been in another life.
“The land of concrete and smog is my native habitat.”
“Perhaps in this life that is true.”
The snippet of conversation with Kieran popped into Dana’s mind like a flashcard. There he was, spying on her, commenting on her thoughts. Crazy, offbeat Kieran with his meditation and medicine wheels, multiple lifetimes and karma. He lived in a different world, and she should forget him. So why did he make her itch to board a plane headed back to Arizona? “It’s really sick that we spend our lunch break at a cyber café,” Robyn complained. “As if we aren’t glued to computers most of the day as it is.”
“Some of us are glued to computers.” Elyssa gave Robyn a salty look. “And some of us spent most of the morning with a nose in this month’s issue of Vogue.”
Robyn grinned unabashedly. “Some of us work so fast that we have extra time on our hands.”
“That’ll be the day,” Alix chortled.
“I just think that the guy who put computers in a restaurant so you can work while you eat should be staked out on an anthill somewhere. Dana, do they have anthills in Arizona?”
“Probably, though I didn’t see any. Lots of cactus. Coyotes that sing at night. Rattlesnakes.”
“Rattlesnakes would do,” Robyn said with a wicked grin.
“Knowing our Dana,” Carole said, “I’m surprised she didn’t come home with a cowboy on each arm.”
“I didn’t meet one cowboy. Although the whole state looks something like a set from an old John Wayne movie.”
Alix snickered. “Meet anyone who isn’t a cowboy?”
“Like who?”
“Like who!” Carole snorted. “Listen to her! She acts so innocent.”
Dana scarcely heard. She wondered what Kieran would think of this place, where the yuppies and workaholics of Georgetown could stay plugged into cyberspace or their office network while they sipped cappuccino and ate the chef’s special of the day. Would he say it was a crime that people couldn’t shrug out of the work harness even at lunchtime? Would he laugh at the coffee and juice bar in front—painted completely in Revlon Silver Glitter nail enamel—and make some wry remark about how many women had sacrificed their nails for the Cafemyth décor? Would his eyes crinkle with humor at the ridiculous thought? Maybe he would reach for her hand, as he had sometimes during their conversations in the gardens, unknowingly sending a scalding wave of helpless desire through her veins while he explained that all the trendy places and with-it clubs of her world were only the surface of life that had no importance to her inner self? Did he know how fast her inner self came to a boil when she was with him?
“Dana?”
Carole’s voice jerked Dana out of her reverie. “Huh?” Carole was looking at her strangely. For that matter, so was everyone else.
“Where were you?”
“What do you mean? I’m right here.”
“Oh yeah.” Alix snickered.
“She did meet someone!” Robyn crowed. “I knew it! Look at her blush! I never thought I’d see Dana Boyle blush! He must be really something! There’s nothing like the right guy to get a girl back into her groove!”
“Oh Robyn, you little twerp, be quiet!”
“See!” Robyn laughed with girlish glee. “She wouldn’t be so touchy if I hadn’t hit right on.”
“I am not touchy! I’m hungry. Where are our sandwiches, anyway?”
“Don’t try to change the subject.” Elyssa took charge. A certain amount of smugness on the boss’s face told Dana that Alix wasn’t the only one in the office who had known that Kieran wasn’t an ancient graybeard with false teeth and wizened lips. In fact, just looking at Kieran’s lips was enough to mesmerize a woman. Dana wished she had kissed him goodbye. How would that sculpted mouth feel upon hers? The tongue that was so honeyed delving into a person’s soul—how would it taste on a woman’s mouth?
“She’s gone absent again,” Alix noted.
Dana snapped back to the present. “I have not!”
The whole table laughed.
“It’s got to be the guru,” Alix said smugly.
“A guru.” Robyn giggled. “How weird is that?”
“A very hot guru.” Carole snickered.
Dana snapped. “Will you guys quit it? You know nothing about it.”
“Then tell us,” Elyssa commanded.
“Kieran is nationally known,” Dana insisted. “Internationally. He’s lectured in Great Britain and Germany. His book has gone through three editions and six printings. This guy is not small potatoes.”
“Then it is the guru,” Elyssa concluded smugly.
Dana groaned. She’d been had.
“Okay,” Alix advised. “’ Fess up, Dana. Just how hot is this guy? What did I miss?”
“You should know, Miss Nosey. You saw his picture.”
“Pictures don’t tell all,” Carole observed.
“Pictures don’t tell diddly,” Robyn agreed. She sighed blissfully. “There’s a man’s voice, scent, the shape of his hands, the way his hair curls around his shirt collar, the shine in his eyes when he looks at you, his voice, the way his jeans hug his butt . . .”
“Goodness!” Carole exc
laimed. “Does Steve know you have such a dirty mind?”
Robyn smirked. “He knows.”
“Back to Dana’s guru . . .” Elyssa directed.
“He’s not my guru.” Unfortunately.
“Not even once?” Alix asked wistfully.
“Talk about dirty minds! I’ll have you know this was a very high-minded seminar. We discussed meditation, inner peace, philosophy, spirituality—”
“Sensuality?” Alix interjected.
Dana blushed.
Robyn pounced. “A-ha! Look at her!”
“You guys are cheapening this experience,” Dana complained. “Kieran is a very nice-looking man. But there’s a lot more to him than good looks.”
“Like broad shoulders?” Alix suggested slyly.
“Good pecs?” Robyn asked.
“You people,” Dana said haughtily, “have no depth. There’s more to a person than what’s on the outside. Kieran has a unique understanding of what makes a person tick. He has a talent for making you want to be a better, wiser person. He has an understanding of . . . of life, of what’s important and what’s not.”
Elyssa eyed her knowingly. “You’re head over heels, aren’t you?”
“Of course not!” Dana denied smoothly. She wasn’t, was she?
“He doesn’t make you the tiniest bit warm?” Alix coaxed.
Heat, indeed! Kieran’s massage had left scorch marks. She was surprised she didn’t come away with blisters. Yet that kind of burning felt so good.
The women around the table looked at her expectantly. Like hens pecking at a sack of corn, they were not going to give up until Dana spilled out what they wanted. She shrugged in what she hoped was a casual manner.
“He’s a hunk. I can’t deny that.”
“Hoooo!” Robyn caroled.
“And he’s a very smart, nice man. Just the tiniest bit strange.”
“All right!” Carole grinned. “Tell all.”
“There’s nothing to tell, really.” That was the sad truth. Well, almost the truth. “He treated me the same as any other student.” That was a lie.
“Oh, come on!” Alix scoffed.
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