by Jean Plaidy
“How terrible! That was murder.”
“When it was discovered who the young men were, it seemed doubly shocking. They were not even hungry men, desperate for food. It was all amusement for them. Lord Dacre was especially singled out, although he was not with the group who had killed the gamekeeper. There was a great outcry over the matter, as you can imagine, and Lord Dacre was sent to the Tower. They were there when the King decided that he did not want to leave his enemies in London while he was traveling North. The Dacre family were not in favor with the King, who suspected them of disloyalty, and when Lord Dacre’s name was put before him, the King ordered that he should be one of those who were executed.”
“But all he had done was go out with this wild party! And he was not even with the group who killed the gamekeeper!”
“The King was in no mood for trials. The Dacres had offended him. And so … His Majesty decided to be rid of this one. Dacre was not the only one, I swear. There were others.”
I was very distressed. I said: “I do not wish to hear of them.”
Jane nodded. She knew me well. It had ever been my way to put aside that which disturbed me.
It was just before we left on our journey that the Duchess came to me.
“I have to tell you,” she said, “that Francis Derham is back in England.”
I must have shown how shocked I was.
She went on: “He has been to see me. What a handsome young man he is! He is more handsome than ever. A real man. He was such a delightful boy.”
“He is back in your household?” I asked fearfully.
“No. He has had adventures. What he was doing in Ireland, I can only guess. He was determined to make a fortune and come back and marry you.”
I was trembling and desperately trying to forget that part of my life, and now it seemed that it was coming back to haunt me. Henry Manox was now one of my musicians. I had seen him from afar, and I had felt a twinge of disquiet, although his manner had appeared to be most respectful.
Derham was a different matter. I remembered his passionate insistence that he would come back and marry me. He had said we were husband and wife. He called me wife; I called him husband: and we were as such.
I experienced a moment of horror. They were all coming back: Manox, Joan Bulmer, Katherine Tylney and now … Derham.
My grandmother could guess at my fear.
She said: “Derham is a gentleman. He would never harm you. He would protect you if the need arose. You must have no fear of Derham.”
I clutched at that belief. It was true. He had genuinely loved me. I knew in my heart that he would never harm me. I had nothing to fear from him. A great relief swept over me at the thought.
“Why did he come to see you?” I asked.
“Because he knew me for a friend. He is a good young man, he has done well in Ireland. Oh, what a reckless fellow! There is something of the pirate in him. Indeed, I fancy he might well have been engaged in something just outside the law.”
“Piracy?” I said.
“I know nothing.” She laughed. She had always had a weakness for handsome young men, especially those who flattered her.
“He talked of you,” she went on.
“What said he?”
“That you were beautiful and that he knew of none to compare with you. He said you had had some regard for him. The King is not a young man. He thought that, if the King died, it would be his turn, and it could be just as you and he had once planned.”
I had grown up a little and I realized, if she did not, the importance of what she was saying. I looked at her in horror.
“You have not said that in the hearing of anyone, I hope.”
“Do you think I should be so foolish as that? I am telling you … and you only.”
“It could cost him his head,” I cried, thinking fleetingly of Lord Dacre, who had lost his for a murder he had not committed.
“You can be assured I shall say nothing of the sort to any. One must never mention that a king could go the way the rest of us do.”
She laughed. She was reckless, I thought. God preserve her. I had been reckless, too, but how was I to have known that I should one day be Queen of England?
Secret Lovers
IT WAS JULY when we set out. It was not a very happy journey. The King was in an ill mood, because the knowledge that some of his subjects could revolt against him depressed him. He wanted jubilation and expressions of affection wherever he went. In his youth he had been handsome, strong, in sports excelling all others: now it was obvious to everyone that he was no longer so. He often needed a stick to support him, or an arm to lean on. His leg was often painful, and I believed it was most unsightly beneath the bandages. He had lost his once healthy color and his skin was tinged purple, his face bloated. It was small wonder that he needed a young wife to delude him into thinking he himself was young too. That was my task, and I believed I performed it well. I might have been unlearned, far from agile with the pen, in complete ignorance of the classics, but I did understand the physical needs of men, and I was able to partake in these exercises with an acceptable skill. He told me that, while God had seen fit to plague him with some miserable and ungrateful subjects, he had at least blessed him with a good and loving wife.
There was heavy rain in Lincolnshire, which resulted in heavy flooding. Travel was impossible for two or more weeks. This delayed our journey and all through the month of July we made very little progress.
It was late August when we arrived in Pontefract. Henry was eager to meet the King of Scotland, which was the main reason for the journey. I had been rather depressed by the reception we had received on the way. There had been lavish entertainments for us, and rich gifts for the King, but I guessed this was due rather to fear than affection.
Henry was not displeased with it though. Had he not come to achieve their submission? They fêted him because they feared him, and subjects should firstly be in awe of their King.
Because of the delays, he had gone off ahead to York with a few important men in the company, and I stayed behind in Pontefract.
It was here that I received a visitor.
I stared in amazement when Jane Rochford brought him in to me.
“Francis!” I cried.
He bowed low. It was Derham.
I was overcome with mixed emotions. This was due to the sight of him, as handsome as ever, a little more distinguished. He had grown older. He had had stirring adventures, I was sure. He was indeed a man.
I noticed Jane lurking by the door, her eyes alight with excitement, and I said: “You may leave us, Lady Rochford.”
With a disappointed and reproachful look, she obeyed.
Derham said: “Your Majesty is well, I perceive … and more beautiful than ever.”
“What are you doing here?” I demanded.
“Craving the indulgence of Your Majesty, and begging her to tell me in what way I can serve her best.”
“You should not have come here.”
“Where else can I serve Your Majesty? I have heard that Mistress Bulmer is in your service with Mistress Tylney, and Henry Manox has joined the musicians. You are surrounded by old friends, so I thought I could serve as her secretary. She will have need of those whom she can trust to serve her well.”
He was appealing; he was very handsome, and I could believe that the love he had once borne me still existed. I could hear my grandmother’s words. He would always serve me, he would always love me. I believed she was right. He would always act for my good. Sometimes I felt lost in this Court. It seemed that people were watching for me to make mistakes—I fancied some of them looked at me critically, though they dared not put their feelings into words. Yes, it would be good to trust those around me: and I could trust Francis Derham.
Playing for time, I said: “You have had adventures since we last met.”
“Many,” he replied.
“Did you make your fortune?”
“To some extent.”
“Breaking the law?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “It is not always easy to keep within it.”
“On the high seas?”
“’Tis as good a place as any.”
“I think you are a very reckless man, Francis Derham.”
“I would be as reckless as was necessary in the service of Your Majesty.”
“Thank you.”
“And,” he went on, “I’ll warrant there is one thing Your Majesty lacks.”
And what is that?”
“A good secretary.”
“I know I was never happy with the pen, but I have improved.”
“You still need that one who understands what you really mean to say.”
I smiled. He wanted so much to be at Court. He was still devoted to me. He always had been and he was a faithful man. He had gone away to save me as much as himself.
I was reckless. Why did I not think before I made these rash decisions? There was a great charm in Derham. My grandmother had been aware of it, too. Had she not said he would give his life for me if need be? I had nothing to fear from Derham.
So … I gave way and Derham came to Court as my secretary.
We arrived in Lincoln, where we were to stay a few nights. The King and his advisers were still not with us.
It was late in the evening when Jane Rochford rapped on my door. I bade her enter, and she was not alone. I started up, in a state of great excitement, for with her was Thomas Culpepper.
“Your Majesty,” said Jane. “The hour is late, but Master Culpepper was insistent.”
“Yes, yes. What is it?”
Thomas bowed. “May I speak alone with Your Majesty?”
Jane glanced at me, bowed and went out.
“Thomas!” I cried, when she had gone. “Why have you come at this hour?”
“It was the only time for seeing you in secret. It is important. None knows that I am here save Lady Rochford, and I believe she is your close attendant.”
“That is so. Thomas …”
He took a step toward me and suddenly put his arms round me, holding me tightly.
“No … no, no!” I cried, yet clung to him.
We remained thus for a few seconds, and I knew that to be with him was what I wanted more than anything.
Then I remembered what had happened to me since I was last with him and I knew that this was the most foolish thing we could do. I imagined what would happen if we were discovered. The King would never forgive me, and Thomas … I shivered. It must stop at once.
I drew sharply away from him.
“Why are you here?” I cried. “Why have you come?”
“I came because it was necessary to speak to you at once. I could think of no other way. If I were seen speaking to you about the Court, it would be remarked on immediately. I dare not … for your sake, Katherine.”
“What is it of such moment that you must come like this?”
“You do not realize that you are in danger. Katherine, you are the King’s wife.”
“He would kill you if he were to find you here.”
“I know. But I had to see you in secret, and I could think of no other way—I know Lady Rochford is your close friend. I had to trust her. Only she knows I am here. I came by way of a secret stair. Katherine, there are whispers about you. There was that priest at Windsor. He talked of your past life.”
“That was no whispering. It was said aloud, and it came to nothing.”
“It is not forgotten. There is talk here in the Court. They are whispering of the life you led before you came to Court. They are saying you are unchaste, Katherine. Do you not realize the danger of this? And now you have let Francis Derham into your Court! He is the last one who should be here. Why did you do that?”
“He came and asked. He wanted it so much. Our friendship is over. He knew that. I have told him so.”
“But he is here! People will talk of it. You have others of the Duchess’s household with you. Do you think they will remain quiet? And when I heard that Derham was here …”
“Derham would never say a word against me.”
“That may be so. He is an honorable man, I believe. But he is here!”
“I cannot send him away.”
“Nay. Perhaps it would cause more talk if you did. I have come here because I had to speak to you. I know you well, my dearest Katherine, and I know you have not always been aware of the scheming people about you. But now you are the Queen … do you not see?”
“Do you think people will listen to the whispers? The King did not believe the priest of Windsor.”
“It is not only the whispers. Katherine, you are so innocent. There is this conflict throughout the realm. It will remain while the Church is divided. There will always be those ardent Catholics who deplore the break with Rome and those who want to join the Protestant League. There are some who regard you as the puppet of the Catholics, and Queen Anne stands for the Protestants. They want her back and would do anything to remove you. Not only that. There are Cranmer, Audley and the Seymours against the faction led by your uncle, the Duke of Norfolk. You have become a figurehead in the Court and are no longer in command of your own destiny. You are used by scheming and powerful men. You must understand these things.”
“I do not understand. Nothing has been said to me of religion.”
He smiled at me tenderly. “Of a surety, none would say aught to you of these matters. You are as innocent as a child. That is why you do not realize the danger in which you stand. It is an amazement to me that your uncle has not warned you.”
“It is some time since I have seen my uncle. We are not on good terms.”
“But you should be. This is very strange. If your uncle is not working for you, might it be that he stands with your enemies?”
“Thomas, it is because you love me that you see this danger. The King shows me nothing but kindness. I am certain that he would never allow any of them to say a word against me.”
“All I know is that the King is very pleased with you now, but his moods can change quickly. We have seen it with another. There was one time when none could doubt his love for her, and then it changed to hatred.”
“You are frightening me, Thomas.”
“It is the last thing I would do. All I ask is that you take care. That is why I have risked so much to come to you at this hour.”
“I think you are unduly worried. It is because you love me … and I am glad you came.”
“I have seen so little of you since you came to Court. I have deliberately done this, for I could not trust myself, caring for you as I did.”
“Oh, Thomas … I wish you had not kept away.”
“I tell you, I could not trust myself. I knew how it would be if we were together.”
“Yet you came here … to my private apartment …”
“It was necessary. I had to warn you. I had to be with you somewhere where we could be alone. Take heed of what I say, Katherine, I beg of you.”
“I would always take heed of you, my love.”
Then his arms were about me. I was no stranger to passion, and I knew he was desperately fighting a losing battle in his attempts at restraint—and so was I.
This was Thomas, my true love, the man whom I should have married and with whom I should have lived in perfect harmony for ever after. I was more mature now and my senses were more demanding than ever. Neither Thomas nor I could hold back the flood of passion and desire which swept over us. I cared for nothing but their fulfillment. We knew the danger in which we were placing ourselves, but we persisted.
I drew him through to my bedchamber.
“Katherine,” he said. “I care not what happens after.”
And I answered: “Nor I.”
It was several hours later when he left. Jane Rochford was still up. She was smiling when she came into my bedchamber. She glanced meaningfully at the bed.
“So,” she said, “my lord has gone.”
“We had much t
o discuss,” I replied.
“What a handsome gentleman!” she murmured. “I doubt there is one to match him in the Court. There is no doubt of his feeling for you.”
“Was it noticeable?”
She nodded, her eyes bright with mischief.
“It was a mercy,” she said, “that none of the others were here. After I had brought him to you, I made a point of seeing them and telling them that you had retired. I said I would summon them if they were needed.”
“Thank you, Jane.”
She smiled at me conspiratorially. “Your Majesty, if the gentleman should have cause to visit you again, may I suggest that it might be more convenient to receive him in my room? It is easily reached from yours by that pair of steps and is closer to yours than any. If the need arose … it would be a simple matter to slip back to your own room.”
I looked at her in amazement and said sharply: “He came with a special message of great urgency, Lady Rochford. It is not likely that he will come again.”
She bowed her head. “A thousand pardons for my forwardness, Your Majesty. I wished you to know that, if ever you need my services, they are at your command.”
“I know your good intentions, but it is unlikely that the gentleman will have cause to visit me again.”
Jane bowed her head and looked humble, but her excitement outweighed her humility.
The King had rejoined us. He was in good spirits. In spite of this, he seemed very old to me. It must have been because I was comparing him with Thomas. I had not stopped thinking of Thomas since that night in Lincoln when he had come to me. How I loved Thomas! How I longed for him!
Strangely enough, I did not feel as guilty as I supposed I should. I had had no choice. I had been forced into this marriage. If I could have chosen between a comparatively humble life as Thomas’s wife at Hollingbourne and my royal state, I would not have hesitated for a moment. It would have been Hollingbourne for me.
But there had been no choice, and I had done the best I could. I had made the King happy. If it were ever known what had happened, I knew what my fate would be. Had I not seen it come to pass before? I did not really believe that my cousin had been guilty. It had never been proved. But the verdict the King wanted had been given, her fate decided; and I was guilty.