Back in Amalia, Anna had guessed at his intentions to come to Torr and had said that meeting Ria again would be good for him. Luca wasn’t so sure. The man—Adon Bayard, he’d said his name was—had been very familiar about Ria. It only confirmed his suspicions when Ria and Bayard entered together, and he took her cloak. His hands brushed against her shoulders and lingered there for a moment. It seemed intimate.
A moment later Luca forgot about the man, his eyes drawn instead to Ria. She was the same, and yet not. Her skin glowed, and she looked more feminine than he had ever seen her. She had lost a little too much weight, but her body looked toned nonetheless, as though she’d been doing a great deal of physical labour.
Luca felt a dull ache in his chest and looked down at his hands. He didn’t want to see Ria anymore. She was so happy, and it gladdened him, but it just confirmed his dread that she didn’t need him or think about him, that she didn’t love him anymore. He didn’t want her to see what a mess he’d become.
Bayard saw him first and pointed. Ria looked curiously at him, but Luca’s face remained hidden under his hood. They came closer. Luca felt his heart beat faster.
They stopped at his table and looked at him expectantly. Luca realised belatedly that this was supposed to be when he revealed himself. He had a strong urge to just leave the hood on and run. Slowly, reluctantly, he drew it back and looked at Ria.
She blinked, once, twice. All the colour drained from her face. She took a tiny, almost imperceptible step back, and Luca winced slightly.
There was a silence as they stared at each other, searching, remembering.
‘Hello,’ he said.
‘He ... hello,’ she replied, her voice shaky. Her glance fell to the floor. ‘Why are you ... what are you—gods, I’m sorry, this is Adon Bayard—’
‘We’ve met,’ Luca said, trying to smile but sure the expression came out as more of an ugly grimace.
‘Okay. Ah...’ She was flustered, but then her eyes narrowed. ‘What are you doing here, Luca?’ she asked.
He took a breath. ‘I’m working, actually. But since I’m passing through, I wanted to say hello.’
She frowned. ‘Right. How silly of me. How long will you be staying then?’
‘No more than a few nights.’
Ria hesitated, and glanced at Bayard who was watching the two of them closely, his arms folded. ‘You’ll want to come over for a meal then,’ she said abruptly.
Luca’s eyebrows rose. ‘I will?’
‘That’s what I just asked you,’ she snapped.
He couldn’t help but smile a little crookedly, his lips curling in a way that was no longer very attractive. ‘All right. Thank you, that would be lovely. If you’re sure...?’
‘Why wouldn’t I be sure?’ she asked, and seemed to be waiting for an answer.
Luca shrugged, looking at Bayard.
‘Captain Adon Bayard is leaving in the morning for Karangul,’ Ria said stiffly.
Luca watched as the Captain’s face closed over. He squared his shoulders and levelled his gaze at Luca. The man was very tall and well-built, with a red beard. Luca could see that his left bicep was slightly more defined, meaning he was left-handed. He could handle a sword well, judging by the callouses on his forearm and palms, and the way he stood, with his hands loosely encircling each other behind his back, meant that he had been trained by the Elves in unarmed combat. Underneath his unkempt red hair, Bayard’s eyes were a piercing blue, and at that moment were gazing with a fierce and sudden realisation of who this cloaked man must be. He looked angry, but also very wary.
Luca tried to give his most honest, open expression, though it was one he hadn’t used for some time. ‘I will be all the sorrier for not having been able to get to know you, Captain.’
Adon Bayard nodded politely, never taking his eyes from Luca. ‘As I you.’
‘We will take our leave,’ Ria said shortly. ‘I will see you tomorrow evening. I live at the vineyard—it’s not hard to find.’
Luca nodded. His eyes met Ria’s, and suddenly he felt less awkward and worried. He smiled, a real smile, and he said, his voice warm, ‘You look beautiful. And you seem well. I’m truly glad for you.’
Ria blinked, startled. After a moment she nodded and turned quickly for the door.
Luca looked at Bayard. The man seemed pleased to be leaving. He gazed appraisingly at Luca, then turned and followed Ria. It was not difficult to see the symmetry between them—the way they moved complimented each other, and watching it, Luca thought that his heart might be breaking for the third time.
He could remember the other times clearly. Once with Jane in her home on Earth, after having seen just how hard her life there was. Once on the day of a war, watching as this woman he loved slipped away from him.
Luca went outside. It was cold, and his cloak was far too light. In Amalia, he’d known that his detachment from his friends was obvious. He’d known they worried about him, that they were hurt by the distance he made sure was between them. Usually he felt bad about that. But right then he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything in the world except that she loved someone else.
It wasn’t a conscious decision he had made to be different. It was just that he couldn’t see through the darkness anymore. He had thought, once, that if he could find the courage to come here and see her, that maybe she would help him to find his way again. But he had been very wrong. Now, all he felt was more lost.
He returned to the tavern and sat down at the bar.
The barmaid who had told him to stop cracking his knuckles handed him a glass of ale, and stood back watching him closely.
‘Is there a problem?’ Luca asked coldly. She shook her head but continued to stare.
‘There is an old proverb my grandmother used to tell me,’ she said suddenly and he looked up at her. ‘There is more pleasure in loving than in being loved.’
His gaze grew still as he met her eyes. She held the contact for a moment longer, then gave him a sad smile and walked away to deliver some drinks to a table.
Luca rose from his seat and swept out of the inn. He didn’t bother fastening his cloak as he disappeared into the night, an urge to inflict pain throbbing in his veins.
‘A long time ago I asked him to let me in,’ Anna murmured very softly. ‘To talk to me about what he was going through.’ She looked into the eyes of the dragon. Locktar stared back at her, still and listening.
‘Luca said “you can’t know another person. You can only know yourself. And when you don’t even know that, there is no way into the light.”’ Anna rested her head against Locktar’s. Gently she stroked his crocodile-like skin. ‘I had this strange feeling when I watched him leave this time. I don’t know where it came from, but I couldn’t get rid of it. I thought: he’s walking away from us forever this time.’
She closed her eyes, fighting a wave of fatigue. Locktar had one of his enormous wings around her to keep her warm. Today, she just needed to talk out loud.
‘I’m not scared,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve never been scared of death. I’ve been granted so much extra and I’m grateful for that.’ Anna wrapped her arms more tightly around Locktar. ‘It’s just that I’m getting worse. Jane is gone, and I’m frightened that if I die, there won’t be anyone to keep Luca safe from himself.’
Chapter 13
‘Wait, wait—I don’t get it. What do you see when you look into the water?’
Mia looked at her boyfriend and resisted the urge to sigh. ‘Your destiny,’ she stressed for the third time, and for the third time he snorted with derision.
‘There’s no such thing.’
‘I think there is. There must be.’
‘Why, because you had a hallucination in the garden?’
‘Jack! Because everyone here looks into the basin and sees their future. Or, no, not their future as such—’
‘So what’s the difference between future and destiny then?’
‘I don’t know! I just know that I sa
w something.’
‘A big building, right?’ Jack repeated. ‘Maybe it means your destiny is to become a brick layer.’
‘Jack! Can you take this seriously for once?’
‘Look, Mia,’ he sighed, shaking his head. ‘Destiny, fate—whatever—it’s a whole bunch of crack-pot nonsense and I don’t buy into a bit of it.’
‘Then you don’t want to look and see what yours is?’
‘Not remotely.’
‘You can be a real jerk sometimes, you know.’
‘Why? Because I don’t want to have a so-called vision of my future? The people here probably put something in the water.’
Mia shook her head. ‘Why can’t you at least pretend to be interested in something that’s important to me?’
‘Because that would be lying, and I’m not a liar.’
‘Oh please. You lie all the time.’
‘When it’s funny,’ he amended with a grin.
‘I don’t find you funny at all!’ Mia snapped furiously.
‘Now who’s the liar?’
She stood and went to sit against the window, refusing to look at him.
‘Mia,’ he sighed. ‘Don’t sulk.’
Which only made her angrier. Jack’s eyes had dark circles beneath them, despite his claim that he’d been sleeping well. Maybe tiredness was making him cruel.
‘Okay. The truth is, I believe that nothing good can come from seeing our futures, and I think we make our own destiny. Therefore...’ he hesitated, and Mia almost turned to see what was wrong. ‘Therefore, I already know what I’d see if I looked in. You. All I would see is you,’ he said softly
Mia stared out the window for another second before something inside her melted, and she allowed herself to be wrapped in his arms. But the disquiet did not leave her, nor the sense of entrapment. The image of the city and was growing in her mind, so that it was all she could see. She knew that if Jack could not see it too, then there would be a looming thing in the air between them, separating them.
Anna opened the door to the library and stood back so Mia could see the huge room.
‘Ugh!’ Mia exclaimed, holding her nose. ‘Look at all the dust—I can hardly breathe!’
Harry rolled his eyes. ‘You’re such a princess.’
‘No, I just don’t want dust bunnies making a home in my lungs!’
‘Come on,’ Anna said, leading them inside. The library was very old. The scholars who worked there all looked to be about four hundred years old and never left their musty corners full of ancient scrolls and parchments.
‘So what are we looking for?’ Harry asked.
‘The most ridiculous notion known to man,’ Jack muttered grumpily. Harry looked at him.
‘What’s under your skin? You look exhausted. Are you sleeping properly? I told you to tell me if you had any nightmares—’
‘I’m fine,’ Jack snapped.
‘Jack thinks I’m stupid to even be thinking about this,’ Mia explained coldly.
‘We’re looking for geography or architecture books,’ Anna offered. ‘We’re trying to find a big white and gold city in the desert.’
Harry nodded. ‘Then we’ll need books on Tirana. Let’s start over here.’
The four of them made their way through the towers of literature that were balanced precariously on just about every surface.
‘Do you get the feeling they might want to expand?’ Jack murmured.
‘They’ve been talking about it for years,’ Anna told him, ‘But Accolon doesn’t put much stock in history or literature.’
‘Philistine,’ Harry said darkly. ‘Here we go!’ he added quickly, holding up a book on the Sands of Anuk.
Two hours later, the three of them had gone through a stack of books taller than each of their heights combined, and hadn’t found a single clue. Jack refused to help in any way except to ridicule the old librarians when they were out of hearing range.
‘This is hopeless!’ Mia announced, resting her head with a woeful sigh on Harry’s shoulder.
‘We haven’t even started on the runes section!’ Harry argued.
Jack groaned.
‘Besides which,’ Anna added, ‘The city was new and sparkling, wasn’t it, Mia?’
Mia nodded. ‘Yep. It was absolutely beautiful, and the thing is—if somewhere like that actually existed, it wouldn’t be a secret. Everyone would want to live there.’
‘Didn’t you say it was in the middle of a giant sand pit?’ Jack asked. ‘Don’t know about you, but I sure as hell hate getting sand in my unmentionables.’
Mia scowled.
‘I wish Emperor Liam was here,’ Anna said. ‘He’d be able to tell us if there’s a city in the sand.’
‘Who’s Emperor Liam?’
‘Leader of the Kabduh—the people who live in the Sands of Anuk.’
‘Very scary,’ Harry added with a shudder.
‘Well that’s settled then,’ Mia announced, standing up with such fervour that sheets of parchment scattered everywhere. ‘I’m going to talk to Emperor Liam.’
They stared at her.
‘He lives in a country on the other side of the world, in a nomadic tribe that at any given time could be in some part of a desert bigger than most countries on Earth,’ Harry said. ‘How do you suppose you do that?’
Mia folded her arms, seemingly unfazed. ‘I don’t know—I’ll get a camel or something and go looking.’
Jack sniggered. ‘Do you know how stupid you sound right now?’
Mia opened her mouth, but Anna cut in first. ‘Mia, darling, it’s not quite as simple as that.’
There was a moment in which they all held their breaths, waiting for the explosion. Mia’s temper tantrums were legendary. Instead, she sank down in her chair and looked at Anna.
‘Please,’ she whispered wearily. ‘You’re the only one who understands, Anna. I need to do this. If there’s a way, please help me find it.’
Anna nodded. ‘Of course. There will be a way. I’ll ask Elixia how to find Liam and then we’ll work out what to do from there.’
‘Hold on,’ Jack spluttered. ‘You aren’t actually considering going there?’
‘If that’s what it takes,’ Mia said firmly.
‘There might be an easier way to find out if this place exists first,’ Harry said.
‘Well if you can find it, I’d appreciate it. If not, I have no problems leaving as soon as I can.’
Jack followed Mia up to her room and shut the door behind them. There was a dresser full of clothes that Anna had organised, and Mia started to pack them into a suitcase she found under the bed.
‘What are you doing?’ he asked slowly.
Mia didn’t stop. ‘I’m packing for my trip.’
‘To find a non-existent city.’
‘Yes, okay. Whatever you think.’
He shook his head. ‘This is so stupid. You’ve lost it.’
Mia’s eyes blazed. ‘Don’t start, Jack, or I’m going to lose it on you!’
‘So you’re going to travel to the other side of the world and go wandering around the desert? All because of something you think you saw in a bird-bath? And I suppose you’re going to drag us all along with you?’
‘Not at all,’ she snapped.
‘We don’t have any idea what we’re doing here, Mia! We need the others!’
‘What exactly do you mean by “we”?’ she asked, looking at him. He stared back at her, and her meaning suddenly clicked into place.
His mouth fell open. ‘You think you’re going to go alone? Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘Why can’t I?’ she asked.
‘Because you haven’t done anything on your own in your entire life! You need me for everything!’
‘How dare you!’ she hissed. ‘You always do this! You always tell me I’m not good enough!’
‘I’ve never once said that to you!’
‘Well you sure as hell imply it all the time!’
He groaned and shook his head
. ‘You’re being stupid.’
‘There you go again!’ she yelled. ‘Telling me I’m stupid. You’re supposed to support me, Jack. You’re supposed to make me believe in myself.
‘Not when you’re going on some crazy mission that’s most likely going to get you killed! And what the hell do you think you’re going to do if you find this place?’
‘I don’t know, Jack, but at least I’ll be far away from you!’ she yelled and then ran from the room.
He sat down on the bed and stared at her suitcase. Mia was impulsive, but never to this extreme. It was as if she couldn’t see how dangerous and selfish this plan was! She was hell-bent on getting her own way and causing people to worry, simply so she could follow a whim.
Jack’s hands had formed fists without him even noticing, and he focused on relaxing himself. It wouldn’t be long before she realised he was right, and they would go back to normal, like they did after any other fight.
Harry would agree with him. Jack went to find his friend. Harry was in the armoury, sharpening some arrows. He looked up when Jack entered and smiled. ‘How’s it going, man? Can I take it that you’ve just had the mother of all fights?’
‘How did you guess?’
Harry held the arrow to his eye and sighted it before turning it over to glue a feather to the shaft.
‘Do you always make your own arrows?’ Jack asked, distracted by the coolness of what Harry was doing.
‘Silly, I know, but it’s the only way I know they’ll be straight enough.’
Jack jumped up to sit on the edge of a workbench. ‘Have you ... I mean, do you ... kill people with those?’
Harry looked up at him and stopped what he was doing. ‘Not if I can help it.’
‘But you have, haven’t you?’
‘A long time ago, Jack.’
‘In the war?’
Harry nodded. He scratched his beard, looking tired.
‘We had to,’ Harry said softly, his eyes focused on the wall. ‘They were attacking us, and if we didn’t fight back, we died. People were dying all around me. They were just dropping, like animals, like they meant nothing.’ He sighed. ‘It’s different here, Jack. It’s darker. If you don’t know how to protect yourself, you can get hurt.’
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