All of a sudden Mia felt depressed. Her friends were going to be together, and she was stuck all the way out here on her own. Besides which, they clearly couldn’t help her out of this mess she’d gotten herself into—they had their own to take care of.
It’s not a mess, Mia, Jane said gently, shocking her at how clearly she could read Mia’s private thoughts. You’re going to be fine. You were born to do this. I couldn’t think of a more perfect role for you.
How do you even know what’s going on?
I’m reading it out of your thoughts now.
Mia blinked, stunned. She had no idea how to even go about reading someone’s mind. All she got from her friends was what they chose to share with her.
It’s easy, Jane said with a laugh. I’ll teach you one day.
I still don’t know what you’re talking about, Mia, Anna complained.
Okay, well prepare to be shocked. You might actually wet your pants, so have a change of undies handy—
Mia!
All right, all right—I am—wait for it—the reincarnation of an ancient queen of a banished city.
There was a moment of silence. Mia started giggling uncontrollably, and soon Jane joined her, while Anna bombarded her with questions.
Eventually, once they’d covered the topic as much as they could, the girls moved onto their boys.
How are they? Mia asked, feeling a stab of longing. I haven’t had time to contact them at all recently.
There was a clear hesitation from both the other girls and Mia’s heart clenched in panic. She realised that she’d barely thought of Jack since arriving here.
I’m not sure, Anna replied slowly . Luca is in Cynis Witron on what he says is business for the king, but I’m not certain I believe him. Harry is in the most dangerous watch-tower outside Amalia, trying to help defend the city, and...
Anna—what is it? Mia snapped. Is something wrong with Jack?
No, she replied after a moment. He’s fine. He just misses you.
Jesus, Mia said. Don’t do that to me.
Jane sighed. I’m going to check on Luca, I think. There’s definitely something wrong with him. Are you sure you can’t guess what it is?
I wish I could, Anna assured them. God knows I’ve tried. It started just after the war—all he used to talk about was how bad the world was, and how much pain everyone was in. Then he stopped talking altogether. And what about Harry?
Okay, one boy at a time, Jane replied. He’s fighting for his people, and it’s his right to do that. It’s really brave, actually. And as for you, Mia, we’ll try to visit you as soon as possible. For now, be strong, and be sure of yourself. You could do that job in your sleep.
When they were finally gone Mia didn’t feel the least bit weary.
‘Are you all right, highness?’ Tye asked quickly.
‘Yes, actually, I’m fine,’ she replied cheerfully.
Mia turned back to the view of the city. New vigour had come to her, and she felt as though she could do anything. She could enjoy the fact that she had made this city what it was. Too bad she couldn’t remember doing it.
Her momentary happiness was tempered by a realisation. She hadn’t thought about Jack in days, until just now when someone else mentioned him. What did that mean? Once upon a time she’d thought she’d be in love with him forever. But that feeling had waned. Was she really that fickle? Were her emotions that fleeting? Would she ever find someone she could love properly? Or was she incapable of that?
‘Can I ask you to explain the connection you have with your friends?’ Tye asked politely, interrupting her deliberations.
‘I don’t know what it is exactly,’ she said. ‘Like everything else, I just seemed to have it thrust upon me. It happened when my friends bound together to defeat Leostrial.’
‘And Leostrial is ... the tyrant, yes?’
Mia smiled. ‘I forget you’ve been gone over a thousand years.’
‘I do not,’ he murmured softly and she looked sideways at him. He shook his head. ‘Forgive me. I meant nothing by the words.’
‘Tye ... you don’t always have to be so polite,’ she told him. ‘You can say what you think. I won’t be offended. I need honesty more than I need manners from you.’
He nodded slowly. ‘Yes, of course. You asked the same thing of me when you were Nayana.’
‘Good. Just act towards me as you acted towards her.’
He looked at her sharply. He seemed to be about to say something, then closed his mouth and looked away again.
‘Is there something you aren’t telling me, Tye?’ she asked.
‘Why would you think that, highness?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Because you’re holding it back. I’d prefer the whole truth. Stop watching your words.’
He frowned. Again there was another long hesitation, only confirming what she had been thinking, but infuriatingly he said only, ‘I hide nothing, majesty.’
Jack knocked on the High Queen’s door and entered when a servant bid him to.
‘Greetings, Jack,’ Elixia said, smiling as she stood behind her desk. Her expression faltered as she noticed how weary he looked. This was their third session in as many days, but he could hardly remember the last two since he’d been so tired.
‘Sit down,’ she told him, showing him to a couch and sitting down next to him as he sank into it gratefully.
‘I take it our strategies haven’t been working?’ she asked and he shook his head mutely. In fact he couldn’t even remember their strategies. Elixia motioned for a goblet to be brought to Jack.
‘It’s a stimulant to wake you up so we can start your training.’
‘Oh, thank god,’ he muttered, gulping down the warm liquid. Miraculously, the drink seemed to work instantly, lifting a great weight off his body and mind. For the first time in days, and he seemed to be able to think clearly.
‘Ah,’ he sighed. ‘That feels better.’
‘Welcome back,’ Elixia smiled.
‘Why didn’t you give me that two days ago?’ Now that he was awake, the question made him kind of angry.
‘I wanted to see if your exhaustion could outweigh your fear,’ she told him. ‘Clearly, it hasn’t. Let’s get started then. I’ll go over everything again because you clearly haven’t heard a word I said. As you know, Valkyries prey on weakness. They seek your deepest fears, your secret, private insecurities, and they magnify them a thousand times in your nightmares. They wear you down, and then when you are at your weakest, when you have nothing left, no strength, no courage, they will claim you for their own and take you to the underworld.’
Jack stared at her. ‘Don’t worry about sugar coating it or anything,’ he muttered. He’d never truly understood the horror of what he’d been told. Until he’d experienced first-hand a Valkyrie nightmare.
And now Jack was one of the few people alive to tell the tale. He’d never been so terrified in his whole life as he was now, just thinking about the dreams that wreaked havoc through his body and soul. He couldn’t bear the thought of going to sleep again.
‘So,’ the queen went on. ‘You have to fight back.’
‘How the hell am I supposed to do that?’ he spluttered.
‘Well, firstly, Jack, you have to realise that this is your mind. Your nightmare. You can control it—you can make it what you please. Once you understand that, you’ll be able to start fighting for your own freedom.’
He stared at her, uncomprehending. Obviously it was his dream. That didn’t mean he could just decide what happened in it. That’s not how dreams worked—didn’t she know that? Jack needed scientists and doctors instead of motivating speeches.
‘You don’t believe me,’ she said calmly. ‘But in order for this to work you’re going to have to.’
He nodded, unconvinced. ‘Okay. So what do I do?’
Elixia pulled out a big piece of parchment and a quill, and motioned for him to move closer.
‘Firstly, I want you to draw your nightmares.’
<
br /> ‘Why?’
‘We’re going to try something I call ‘imagery rehearsal’,’ she explained. ‘We need to get you to a state where you can change your nightmares. So you’re going to go over every aspect of this dream, face every moment of it, even though it will be frightening, because this will allow you to consciously change the dream and be ready for when you next sleep.’
He looked at her, one eyebrow raised.
She levelled her gaze on his, her green eyes flashing. ‘Jack,’ she said softly. ‘I don’t care how sick you are. If you are going to let your scepticism rule you, you are damaging any possible chance we have of this working, and I won’t bother wasting any more of my time trying to help you. Understood?’
Carefully he swallowed and nodded. ‘Yes, your majesty.’
‘Good. Now start drawing.’
Chapter 26
Altor lay on his bed of ice and shivered. They’d given him a fur coat and blankets, but tonight he shivered because he was thinking of a girl, not far away, who would be crying.
And because he was thinking of the man who made her cry.
Just then there was a knock on his door. Without waiting for a reply, the door slid open and a barefoot figure padded into the room to stand over his bed.
Jane’s face was streaked with tears, and she stood trembling, under-dressed for the chilly castle.
Altor stared up at her, thinking through everything that this could mean, everything that he longed for. There were so many things wrong with this, so many levels of betrayal. He was used to behaving in a certain way; he’d put up walls and barriers because he didn’t know how to be any other way.
In the end, though, she was just a girl, and she needed someone to hold her.
Altor held the blankets back so that she could climb into the bed next to him, and then he stroked her hair while she wept.
‘I don’t know how to be near him anymore,’ she whispered.
‘I know,’ he murmured, holding her very tightly.
‘What am I doing here? Honestly, should I just leave?’
‘Where would you go?’
Jane shrugged morosely. ‘I could go to Amalia. Or I could visit Mia—I spoke to her again this afternoon and she really needs me there. And then there is Luca...’
‘What is it that you really want to be doing right now?’ he asked.
‘Finding out how to destroy the Valkyries,’ she said firmly.
‘And right now you are in the only city that’s trying to find a way to do that. Jane, we haven’t known each other long, but I know you aren’t the kind of girl who would ever let a man determine your life. It’s not why you’re here, and you know it. You’re here to try and help. Don’t let him change your path.’
Jane looked up at Altor, and slowly she smiled. ‘You’re not as dumb as you look,’ she told him.
Fern’s eyes when he emerged the next morning were hollow and ringed by deep circles.
‘I’m late. Forgive me,’ he said, his voice haggard. Even after everything that had been happening in his life, he could still look at Altor with clear affection.
Altor shook his head. ‘There is no need.’
Fern held out his hand. When Altor clasped it firmly, he said, ‘You’re a true friend, Altor, in a life where they are needed more than anything else.’
Altor stared at the older man, something bright in his chest. He didn’t know where such sentiments were coming from, but he didn’t want to ruin them with questions.
They turned to saddle their horses and Altor, struggling to lighten the mood, told him, ‘You look about as good as I feel.’
‘I know why I didn’t sleep,’ Fern grunted. ‘But why didn’t you?’
‘Tell you when we get there.’
The two of them rode at a breakneck pace through the dark forest. They were on their way to scout out the distance between the ice city and its nearest watchtower. Fern wanted to know every inch of his land. He urged his horse forward, jumping an enormous log without so much as a glance. Altor struggled to keep up as they whipped past trees and under branches. Finally, coming to a wide, fast-flowing river, the Elvish Prince pulled his mount to a halt.
‘We’ll have to cross further up,’ he said.
‘Wait a minute, slow down!’ Altor breathed. ‘Why are you in such a rush?’
Fern clenched his jaw, looking away from his friend.
Altor moved his horse a little closer. ‘Fern. I’m worried about you.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘No, you aren’t. You’re a complete mess. And I know someone else who is just as lost as you right now.’ Altor took a breath. ‘I spent last night with Jane—’
Before he’d had the chance to finish, Fern had dismounted his horse in one fluid motion and pulled Altor to the ground by the neck of his shirt.
‘What?’ the Elf raged. He was on top of Altor, his strong hands holding the boy down, shaking him by the shoulders. And then all of a sudden in Fern’s eyes there were flames. Black orbs, full of red fire that licked and danced in fury.
‘Fern! Stop!’ Altor yelled, trying to struggle free. ‘Nothing happened! I swear, we just talked!’
And just as suddenly as it had appeared, the fire in Fern’s eyes dissipated and he wrenched himself backwards, breathing heavily.
Altor slowly pulled himself into a sitting position.
‘Gods,’ Fern breathed, still shaking. ‘Forgive me.’ He shook his head and pushed a trembling hand through his hair. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’
‘It’s okay, brother.’ Altor rose to his feet and stretched out a hand to help Fern up.
‘Truly. I’m so sorry.’ Fern shook his head. ‘And I shouldn’t have to be apologising so much to you.’
Altor frowned. ‘This is a mess. You’re both wrecked with exhaustion. Something has to be done!’
‘I know. It was unforgivable. But it is just—it is just her.’
‘That’s what I mean! You’ve got a hold over each other that something has to be done about.’
‘But I don’t know what!’ Fern exclaimed. ‘I have no idea! Can’t you see I’m in an immovable place?’
Altor sighed. ‘Yes. Like I said, she came to my room last night because she was so upset about you. And she was crying. You know her better than I do, so you know she’s not a girl who cries very often.’
Fern covered his face with his hands. ‘Ah, gods. What am I to do?’
Altor spread his hands but said nothing. Jane would be horrified to know he’d told Fern about her tears, but Altor truly believed that something had to change.
The older man remounted his horse, waited for his friend to do the same, and then the two princes continued riding.
Fern lay awake that night, staring at the ceiling. Athena stirred next to him—she too had been sleeping restlessly. A thought came to him, an idea that he couldn’t get out of his head. It thumped against the walls of his chest, and tingled through his skin. Clenching his jaw, he rolled resolutely onto his side, refusing to give in to it.
His heart beat faster. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, about her.
Deciding to get a drink of water, Fern rose and pulled on his shirt. He slipped out of the room he shared with his wife and paced the empty halls. It did not take him long to realise he’d arrived outside the room he’d sworn not to go near. Fern sighed, leaning his head against the door and closing his eyes.
All of a sudden it swung inwards and he looked up, startled.
‘What are you doing here?’ Jane gasped. Her eyes were red and she looked truly aghast at his presence.
‘I don’t know,’ he whispered. ‘I didn’t mean to come here. It just ... happened.’
She stared at him, quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks and settling her face into a mask of calm.
‘Where are you going?’ he asked.
Jane looked at the ground. ‘I just didn’t want to be alone.’
‘I know you go to him at night,’ Fern said gently.
Jane coloured. ‘It’s not—’
‘I know it isn’t.’
Indignation flared in her. ‘But even if it was, we would certainly have a right not to be questioned by you.’
‘I know that, Jane. It’s not why I brought it up. Could we ... take a walk?’
She hesitated. ‘We shouldn’t—’
‘Just a walk. Of course.’
After a pause, she nodded and the two of them stole through the silent castle, Jane’s feet slipping on the icy floor. He led her out into the night air, through the gardens to a fountain, far away from where anyone would go at that time of night. They crept under the boughs of a weeping willow, the leaves brushing gently against their skin. Jane sat on the edge of the stone fountain, and Fern leapt up onto it, trailing his fingers through the water idly. The tiny pixies that inhabited the Elvish city buzzed through the leaves of the tree, lighting up the world with a soft glow.
Jane leant forward and rested her head in her hands. It was much warmer now that they were out of the ice castle. And within the tree’s branches it felt like they were in their own world. It was, if she let herself think about it, a bit like the first time they’d met, shrouded in mist. But that had been magical. This was just ... sad.
‘I don’t sleep much anymore,’ Fern said, stepping around to the other side of the fountain.’
‘Join the club.’
‘I’m going to head out of the city. Make a start on our defence.’
‘When?’
‘In the next few days. We need to get protectors up over the towns that don’t have them. Do you want to come?’
‘Of course,’ she said quickly. ‘I want to help. Would that be all right? Is there another party I can go with?’
She looked over her shoulder at him, and his expression just then seemed very pained. ‘You don’t want to come with me? Altor will be with me.’
‘Oh. All right. I guess that’s okay then. I’m glad we have a plan of action.’
They lapsed into silence. Jane watched the tiny, glowing pixies dance and fly through the tree, making it seem more alive.
‘I miss you,’ he said without warning, so softly she barely heard him.
Jane closed her eyes. ‘We’ve talked about this—we’re friends. That’s all.’
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