Tellox embraced Seriat. If only people could see into the dimensions, they would have same comfort. “Do you feel that heat, Seriat? That’s your husband putting his arms around you. He tells me that he will look after you from the other side. He will never be very far away.”
Seriat clutched Marie’s arms. “I want them back. I don’t want them to be gone.”
“I know you do.” How often had those words been said to her? Hundreds of people across the country, and now it seemed across the galaxies. She couldn’t say that the sting of death ever went away, but she did know that as time went on, people learned to cope better with it.
“This pain will ease. I promise. It may take a while, but if you can forgive them, it will help everyone move on.”
“What do you mean, forgive them? Forgive who for what?” Alastor’s dark gaze locked with hers. Tension continued to roll off him. His body vibrated with it.
Marie swivelled her gaze to Alastor. His stark expression burned, the planes of his face harsh.
“It’s acceptable to feel anger when someone dies. They’ve left you to survive as best you can. Their spirit has moved on and knows no more physical pain, but they do feel emotional pain. You’ve been left without them, but also they’ve been left without you.” She’d seen it time and time again. People came for a reading, not only for confirmation, but to also relieve the guilt that they were angry.
The muscle fired at Alastor’s jaw. His face turned a deeper shade of gold. “The fact remains, they still left. They died. They can never come back.”
He hurt so badly. She wanted to take it all away from him, but he was the only one who could do that for himself. She offered the only thing she could. Her understanding. “That is the way of existence in this dimension.”
“What is the point of suffering death at all?”
“There is a reason we’ve chosen this life, and there is a reason we choose to remove ourselves from it.”
“That is a lie! No one chooses to be born. And people certainly don’t choose to die,” Alastor exploded.
“And that is why you need to forgive, or else you’ll spend the rest of your life letting it eat you up from the inside. Let your anger be about death. Not about the person who died,” Marie said.
Tension rolled from him in a tidal wave and she wavered beneath the onslaught, clasping Seriat’s hands.
“What of my daughter. What of Deseree?”
The image of the little girl of about six years old formed in her mind. She was surrounded by a bright magenta aura. Tendrils wove from the aura and reached for Seriat. Marie’s heart raced. “She’s alive”
Seriat’s grip was almost painful, but Marie didn’t mind. “Where is she?”
“Let me see.” She followed an overwhelming urge to trace the tendrils that wove like flowing ribbons over the sand, amazed at how strong her vision was. How clear. How focussed. Quick as a flash, she passed a gleaming pyramid that had a notch out of the side of it, and over a sand dune to come to a halt just in front of a painfully thin child.
Dirt and grime covered her emaciated limbs. She was on her hands and knees, digging through the sand and pulling out some kind of vegetable from the ground. She worked mechanically, her movements stiff and slow. Her eyes were empty, like Seriat’s had been when they’d found her. The poor little girl was mind-enslaved, and if they didn’t rescue her, she’d soon be dead like the rest of Seriat’s family.
“She’s in a little village over the sands, past a pyramid with a big gouge from one of its sides.”
“That’s my village! Enar, one of the teen boys destroyed the sides of the pyramid when he was playing one day. It’s the only one with that damage. It was going to be repaired before… before they came,” Seriat said.
Marie inhaled, bracing herself and clutched Marie’s hand, “Seriat, Deseree is… she’s…” How could she tell Seriat her daughter was only hanging onto life by a thread?
“She is like me…”
Marie nodded. “She is very sick, Seriat.”
“I have to go to her. Please. I can’t lose her too.” Seriat clutched Marie’s hand like a lifeline, fingers clawing and desperate.
Marie looked at Alastor, forcing herself past the waves of anger so harsh they were almost physical. It wasn’t one-sided. Rage welled from deep within her heart as well. Rage at the Reptiles. Rage at what they had done. Rage at what they were still trying to do. She couldn’t bear to stand by and let a child perish. “We have to find her, Alastor. We have to help her.”
“They are mind-enslaved. They are dangerous. I won’t let you anywhere near them.” Alastor’s expression remained unmoved as a mountain, but inside, his emotions roiled as much as hers did.
“I can help them, Alastor. I helped Seriat, and I can help her daughter too.”
She could do it the same way and help the child out of the black fog that had trapped Seriat. It made perfect sense. And if she could do that for one woman and one child, it stood to reason she could do that for more. She could free everyone on the planet.
The muscle began to tick at his jaw as he worked to crush emotions that were too strong to be denied. Emotions locked up like that were poison. Poison for the mind and for the soul.
“You cannot.” I will not risk you too. She felt the words he left unsaid. A brush in her mind that shot through her just like his emotions did. She didn’t pause to wonder why she was so receptive to him, just knew that there was no time to argue.
She stood from the cot, paced to him so close that his body heat wrapped around her, peered up into fathomless eyes, and said the one thing she knew he wanted beyond anything else. This was too big not to try something. Surely he would have to see that. Understand that.
“I know how to save them, Alastor. I know how to save them all.”
Chapter Eleven
Did she know the danger? The risk? One look at her desperate face showed him she didn’t. Not to its fullest extent.
He’d seen that look many times. So many faces. So many recruits. Males and females who never came back. So eager and determined to end the Reptiles’ reign, fuelled by rage at the injustice, and sure they could actually do something about it.
But, she had, hadn’t she? Alastor didn’t like that little voice at the back of his mind. The one that spoke of hope. Hope was tenuous. And dangerous. He’d seen it too many times on faces that never returned. Faces that were his responsibility to ensure they survived.
He gripped her arms, fingers curling around her fine bones. She could help, but she was so fragile. She might become one of the mind-enslaved before she could assist anyone else. He wouldn’t let that happen. Couldn’t let that happen. “It’s too dangerous for you to try. Not here. Not now.”
Her lips thinned as she pushed them together. She looked lost. Defeated. “Listen, I know you don’t believe I can do this… Sometimes I don’t believe it myself.” She sighed, a deep, weary type of sound that he hated hearing from her.
He frowned down at her. “Of course I believe you.” How could he not? She’d done the impossible and brought Seriat back.
Her lips curved downwards. “If you believed me, you would at least listen.”
“I do believe in your abilities, Marie.” Too much, but she was naïve if she thought she could go against the Reptiles. He knew what they were capable of. What they did. There was no way he would allow her to put herself into that type of danger.
She looked up at him, her gaze bouncing over his face, searching for something Alastor didn’t know she would find. He was here to protect her, even if it was from herself.
“But, you will stay here until I return. I will learn what the energy spike at the pyramid means and then we’ll return to the Starlight where you can tell Commander Striker what needs to be done.”
Her delicate brows pushed together. Lines appeared on her forehead that he immediately wanted to smooth out. He wanted to bring her into his arms, press her close to his body, feel her silken skin over his, but h
e had no right to do any of those things. Instead he clenched his fists at his thighs and remained immovable. She was too much temptation and he wasn’t going to be deterred. He owed a soul debt to his soldiers. Keira. It was his time to pay.
“Better yet, I will send the shuttle back to the Starlight on autopilot with you both in it, and proceed with the mission. You and Seriat will be safe.”
Now her eyes narrowed. He could just about see her thoughts cataloguing inside her head. “What aren’t you telling me, Alastor?”
She was too perceptive. She couldn’t know what he planned to do. “Rescuing one female is vastly different than an entire planet. You will be safe back on the Starlight.”
His heart eased when he imagined her secure on board the aircraft. He wouldn’t lose one more soul to the Reptiles. Especially not Marie. She was too pure. Too good. He couldn’t stand the thought that she’d been abducted. Someone like her should only know good things, and if she stayed with him much longer, she would know the dark side of his soul. She would discover the truth of who he really was.
She wound her slim fingers around his forearm, the heat of her skin searing through the protective suit he wore. His muscles flinched with the physical need to touch her. He managed to stop himself from reaching for her just in time. “Don’t you understand, Alastor? I won’t be safe until there are no more Reptiles. There’s something different about this planet. The energy—it’s so close to the surface. I can feel it just at the edge of my fingertips, surrounding me. It’s so strong. I don't think we have much time. And I think we need all the help we can get.”
He crossed his arms about his chest, locking them there. Her hand fell away and he immediately wanted it back, her skin on his. “There are warriors aboard the Starlight. They will fight.”
“Are there enough men to fight, Alastor? We’re lost in space without backup. It’s one Starship against an entire planet. How many more people have to die when there’s a way to change things? We could have a whole planet on our side.”
The breath seemed to exit his lungs without the ability for him to draw it back inside himself. How many more had to die? The question curdled his stomach and beat inside his skull, smacking against the sides, scraping his brain with rough edges. Did she know how many he’d lead to their deaths? “You are too important to risk.”
She shook her head, her straight hair escaping the tight bun she’d wound it into at the back of her head. Those glorious locks should be allowed to hang free. “I’m not important.”
His hand reached up of its own accord and gently brushed a strand of hair from her face. “You are important.”
He forced his fist back to his side so that it didn’t stay there to feel her soft skin. Didn’t curve behind her neck. Didn’t pull her towards him so that he might kiss her again.
Instead her eyes flared. “I’m no more important than your fellow soldiers. No more important than the other women who were caught by the Reptiles. No more important than those mind-enslaved on this planet and no more important than Seriat’s daughter. But I’ve pulled Seriat out of her mind and I’ve sensed the girl. If I can pull her daughter out too, then I know I’ll be able to do the same thing for the others on this planet. You can’t let this opportunity go, Alastor.” She swallowed hard. “I won’t let this opportunity go. If you won’t come with me, then… then I’ll go by myself.”
He stopped the snarl from escaping his mouth, catching it just in time. “You will not go by yourself.”
“I can and I will. You won’t stop me. Not when there’s a chance. You’ve seen it with Lauren, and you’ve seen it with Vivien. When can you say you’ve had a chance to end this, Alastor? Really end this?”
He could stop her. He could bundle her up and strap her into the chair in the cockpit and send the shuttle back to the Starlight, but she laid her hand on his arm again, and the heat of it made him merely blink instead of taking action.
The muscle at his temple jumped almost painfully. His jaw frekking ached with the force he was exerting on it. She was right and she also knew how desperate he was to stop the Reptiles.
It would mean taking her away from the safety of the shuttle, but she squared her shoulders and lifted that defiant chin of hers. “Let me try and save Seriat’s daughter. If I can do that, then I’ll know for sure. That’s all I ask. Just one try. One chance.”
And that was it, wasn’t it? If there was one chance, he could save billions, he had to take it, didn’t he? His life was already forfeit. He’d gladly lay it down if there was a chance. It was one more chance than they’d had yesterday. He found himself relenting and hating himself for it, but there was no other recourse. Time was their enemy as much as the Reptiles, and this entity they were helping to breach their universe.
It went against his better judgement and he hated himself for giving in, hated the situation even more because there was no choice. “One chance only, Marie, and if it doesn’t work out, you’ll agree to come back to the shuttle and return to the Starlight.” He’d complete his mission—both official and personal.
“And what of you, Alastor? Will you return with me?”
He looked past her shoulder at the figure huddled on the cot so that he wouldn’t fall into her gaze and reveal everything. “There is much information on this mission that is not relevant for you to know. I will ready our supplies. We leave within the hour.”
He turned his back on her and began unloading various necessities they would need, before he could falter and tell her everything. Because the temptation to cave in and tell her his darkest secrets was a dark urge too hard to refute.
He couldn’t deny his physical attraction to her, but he could reject his unwelcome emotional attraction. He’d simply ignore it because there was no way he’d put her thought the emotional turmoil of knowing he had no intention of ever returning to the Starlight.
He had more than enough reasons to die. He just didn’t need a reason to live.
Chapter Twelve
Marie gave Seriat food and a survival suit before they left the shuttle for the second time. This occasion was different, though. This time Marie knew what she had to do.
She felt the pull of the planet tugging on all her senses, both physically and mentally. Knew there was something more here than sand, palms and intriguing pyramids. The air practically vibrated around her. Her physical body as well as her cognitive and etheric bodies hummed in total sequence with each other. She’d never felt energy pulse about her so strongly. Ever.
If she could only contact Black Feather, she would ask him, but she hadn’t sensed him since he’d brought Lyria to Alastor. Maybe the planet affected him too. Everything was different here, and that included the solidity of the in-between. Normally, it was only a mental place where she’d be able to meet spirits and communicate with them. But when she’d rescued Seriat, it had been more than real. She’d felt it in the ground beneath her feet, the air she breathed, and the bite of the frigid fog that had surrounded her. As real as this planet and the man who strode ahead of them.
He moved with a preternatural, deadly grace, stalking ahead of them, all his senses attuned to every movement and sound. His large shoulders stretched the cloth as far as the material would allow. His broad back looked as though he could carry the weight of the world, which she knew he mentally did. He was pure, deadly muscle.
Hours and hours of aggression pounded into training and physical activity. Spurned by anger that had driven and sculpted him, slowly building and churning until it had become a living, writhing thing that dictated his whole life.
She hated to think of what had happened to him. What had caused such dark emotions. Nobody deserved that. Nobody. But she understood, more than he could possibly know. Keeping secrets caused more harm than good.
Especially now since her gut churned more and more with each step. She wished she didn’t have time to think. She wished Black Feather was here, invading her head. Time and only herself in her head wasn’t a good combination
.
She could almost hear the voices from the day that changed her life forever. The screams. The innocuous pop of a gun. She’d never heard a gun fired before. It had sounded nothing like the movies.
Doubt churned like rotgut in her mind. What-ifs crowded into her thoughts like debris in a hurricane. What if this was only her imagination? What if what she thought she saw was wrong? What if Deseree was dead, and she’d merely seen an echo of past events?
What if? What if? What if?
“He’s not the only one of us filled with pain.”
“Huh?” It took effort to bring herself back into her surroundings.
“Even with people not of this world, I can see he suffers,” Seriat said, her eyes going to Alastor striding ahead of them.
“He has suffered… a lot.” He was a powder keg ready to blow. “Something extremely bad has happened to him, but I don’t know what it is.”
Marie would catch flashes of knowing from people sometimes. Mostly unwanted, but when it happened, she’d send a healing message to help. With Alastor, it was an open wound from an unknown source. It would take much more than a healing message to heal that hurt.
“I’ve never known someone to cling to their pain like he does,” Marie said.
“I think he feels so much on the inside that he can’t show anything on the outside,” Seriat said.
She could almost think Alastor had no emotions, but now she realised that he was just so good at keeping them at bay. He’d tricked people into thinking he was nothing more than a shell. “I think you’re right. Ignoring feelings never makes them go away. They’ll build and build, until finally…” Finally, it just might destroy him.
“We are ruled by our emotions. You cannot hide if you are crippled inside,” Seriat said.
Alastor: Sci-Fi Alien Romance (A Hexonian Alien Romance Book 3) Page 7