Stormy Relationship

by Margaret Mayo

  ‘A pony,’ he announced grandly. ‘A pony of my very own!’

  ‘That’s lovely, darling,’ she said, at the same time glaring at Jordan over the top of her son’s head. This really was taking things too far! It amounted to buying her son’s affection. Daniel would begin to think that whatever he asked for he could have―and he had never been brought up that way.

  Hannah did her best to join in the conversation over the breakfast table, but all in all it was Daniel and Jordan who did most of the talking, and Jordan who offered to take Daniel to school, which, much to her annoyance, he accepted with alacrity.

  The school was actually only a few minutes’ walk away from the estate, but even so Daniel somehow persuaded Jordan to take him in his Ferrari. Hannah knew it was to impress the other children, and the thought that he was getting conscious of the power of money at the tender age of nine angered her even further.

  But for the moment she kept her thoughts to herself, kissing Daniel goodbye, telling him to be good, and feeling proud of him in his brand-new grey and red uniform. He had not worn a uniform at his other school―now he looked suddenly so much more grownup, and she felt a lump of maternal pride in her throat. She wanted to go with them, but pride forbade her from asking. Daniel was clearly happy alone with Jordan. So many responsibilities were being taken from her, yet instead of feeling happy and relieved she felt miserable, and wished, not for the first time, that she had not let Jordan persuade her to marry him.

  As there was nothing to do while waiting for Jordan to come back Hannah took a stroll in the grounds. It was alien to her not to have to wash the dishes and make the beds, but she sensed that if she dared to offer any help Mrs Savill would be up in arms. She had cooked them an excellent breakfast of bacon, sausages and egg, and Daniel had tucked in heartily. It was more than he was ever used to eating in the morning, but to Hannah’s surprise he had managed every bit.

  Jordan was away no more than the few minutes she had expected and he joined her by the side of the moat. ‘You’re spoiling Daniel,’ she accused as he walked up to her.

  ‘Because I took him to school in the car?’ Thick brows rose questioningly.

  ‘That as well,’ she snapped. ‘He’ll expect it every day; but what’s bothering me most is you offering to buy him a pony. He’s not used to such expensive gifts. Before you know it it will be ask and have, and I won’t allow that.’

  ‘Isn’t a pony every kid’s dream?’ Jordan asked.

  ‘A dream, yes, but not always reality.’

  ‘Only when parents can’t afford it.’

  Hannah shook her head impatiently. ‘It always boils down to money, doesn’t it? People with money never seem to realise what harm it does. I’m not going to ask you to go back on your word, but please don’t make any more such extravagant gestures. Shall we go in and start work?’

  ‘I don’t agree with your line of reasoning,’ he said shortly, ‘but yes, we’d better make a start. I’ll save my argument for another occasion.’

  The estate office was next door to the library. It was not a very big room, looking as though a second desk had been brought in to accommodate them both, and Hannah dreaded the thought of working in such close proximity for hours on end.

  There were ledgers and sheets of paper all over the place. It was the untidiest office Hannah had ever seen. She looked at it in dismay. ‘It will take ages just to get this lot sorted out!’

  ‘Precisely,’ he said grimly. ‘I don’t think anything has been done properly since my aunt was taken into hospital.’

  They worked in surprising harmony for the rest of the morning, stopping only when Mrs Savill brought them coffee at eleven and sandwiches for their lunch at one. ‘I hope you don’t mind,’ Jordan said. ‘I thought a cooked lunch would take up too much time.’

  Hannah shrugged. ‘You’re the boss.’

  His watchful eyes narrowed. ‘I prefer to think we’re a team.’

  ‘Because I’m your wife?’ she asked crisply.

  ‘Because you’re my wife,’ he agreed. ‘Though I’m beginning to have my doubts whether I’ve made the right decision.’

  ‘I certainly think you haven’t,’ said Hannah before she could stop herself. ‘I can’t see us ever living together as a husband and wife should.’

  ‘Why is that?’ he asked coldly. ‘And don’t try to put the blame on me.’

  ‘I wouldn’t dream of it,’ she answered, her tone sharp. ‘The trouble is, we’re not compatible. I married you for all the wrong reasons.’

  ‘Like security?’

  She nodded.

  ‘Like a father for your son?’

  Again she inclined her head.

  ‘But we both knew these things before you agreed,’ he rasped. ‘What else is wrong that you’re not telling me?’

  Love was wrong, or rather the lack of it-on his part, Hannah thought bitterly. ‘It’s all wrong.’

  ‘You think I’m going to spoil Daniel, is that it?’

  ‘Partly,’ she agreed.

  ‘And the other part, it wouldn’t have anything to do with Roger, by any chance?’ Jordan’s eyes narrowed on her face. ‘Is that why you shrank away from me in the shower? You don’t want me to touch you, you said. Is it so abhorrent, the thought of another man in his place? Is that what all this is about, Hannah?’

  She nodded. It was easier to lie than tell him the truth.

  ‘I’ll make you feel differently!’ he snarled, and for one moment Hannah thought he was going to pull her into his arms there and then. ‘But I’ll give you time to get used to the idea of me sharing your life―and your bed!’ he finished darkly. ‘I’ll put no pressure on you, but before I’ve finished I guarantee you’ll be begging me to touch you, to make love to you, to share every intimate thought. You’ll melt in my arms at the slightest caress, at a whisper, at a glance. We’ll be lovers as no other people have been lovers before, and we’ll be husband and wife in the true sense of the word.’

  Never the true sense, she thought, never that. Lovers maybe. Even as Jordan spoke Hannah felt some of his threatened power shudder through her. Little did he realise how fragile her defences were against his savage sensuality.

  ‘And now,’ he said, his dark eyes still intent on her face, ‘back to work.’

  But everything had changed with those few words. Constantly now she felt his eyes on her, a message in their depths that could not be ignored, and it became more and more difficult for her to concentrate. She was glad when a telephone call took his attention for over half an hour, and when he had finished he was once again the brisk businessman. ‘One day I’ve left them, that’s all, and there’s a problem no one can handle,’ he growled. ‘I’ll be gone for the rest of the day, Hannah. I’m sorry about this. When you finish sorting this lot perhaps you can send letters to each of the tenants asking them to list whatever repairs need doing.’

  Hannah nodded.

  ‘And you’ll have to fetch Daniel, although I promised him I’d be there myself.’

  ‘I’ll go,’ she said, controlling her sudden anger with difficulty. He was making it sound as though Daniel was his son and she was the one doing the favour.

  It was such a relief when he had gone that Hannah sat for ages doing nothing, savouring only the peace of her surroundings. Stowley Hall was a beautiful house, but she would never be content here, always she would need to be on her guard.

  She sat so long that it was time to fetch Daniel before she realised it. The walk down to the school helped calm her troubled mind, and she was smiling happily until Daniel came running out of the school gates with tears streaming down his cheeks. ‘I don’t like that school, Mummy!’ he cried. ‘I don’t want to go again. Please don’t send me there again!’ But it was not until they got back to the Hall that she managed to get out of him what was wrong.

  Jordan’s Ferrari was the trouble. The children who had seen him arrive had immediately dubbed him a snob, had taunted him all day long and made his life a complete
misery. Hannah tried to tell him that he should not take any notice, that all schools had bullies who took it out of new boys, but he wouldn’t be pacified, and when Jordan came home a few hours later he poured all his troubles out to him.

  ‘I think we need a good man-to-man talk,’ said Jordan, and with a look at Hannah that said leave this to me, he took Daniel up to his room.

  When he returned, alone, she said anxiously, ‘How is he?’

  ‘He’s all right,’ he assured her. ‘It’s perfectly understandable that he should be upset; he’s gone through a lot, poor kid, over the last couple of years. But he’s no coward. We had a good chat, and he’s quite happy about going back to school.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ frowned Hannah.

  ‘Of course. You fuss too much. He definitely has the guts to stick up for himself―so long as you don’t keep mollycoddling him. I was right in that he needed a father-figure. There are obviously lots of things that you’re not capable of handling.’

  ‘Where’s Danny now?’ she asked coldly, resenting his implication.

  ‘In his room, getting ready for bed. He wants you to go up, but whatever you do don’t sympathise with him, or you’ll undo all the good I’ve done. I’m going to see Jim Browne, the farmer―I’ll see you when I get back.’

  How dared he tell her how to treat her own son? Hannah was furious as she ran up the stairs, and she had to pause a minute outside Daniel’s door to compose herself.

  To give Jordan his due, Daniel was relaxed and happy again, and as she kissed him goodnight and tucked him in he said sleepily, ‘I love you, Mummy, and I love Dad as well. I love him lots. We’re a proper family again now.’

  A proper family! She repeated his words over and over as she went back down. A proper family! How little Daniel knew of the true situation. But if that was how he felt then she was glad she had married Jordan. If it made her son happy then she was happy. A marriage of convenience it might be on Jordan’s part, but she loved him and Daniel loved him, that was all that mattered.

  When Jordan joined her in the sitting-room with its moss-green carpet and beige and rose chairs, and French windows which opened out on to a sunken garden at the back of the Hall, she had a magazine open on her lap, but her thoughts were anywhere except on the printed page.

  He flopped down tiredly on to one of the deep armchairs and closed his eyes. ‘Shall I make you some coffee?’ Hannah asked tentatively.

  ‘I’d prefer a whisky,’ he said, jumping up again and going across to a cupboard which Hannah saw held a wide selection of drinks. ‘Won’t you join me?’

  Hannah shook her head. ‘I don’t drink.’

  ‘Then it’s about time you started,’ he said thickly, pouring a gin and tonic, adding ice out of a refrigerated compartment next to the drinks cupboard and handing it to her without another word. Their fingers touched, and a jolt ran through her, and as she looked up into the velvet brown of his eyes she saw that they were flecked with gold. Strange how she had not noticed before. He had thick, silky black lashes that sometimes screened his expression, but not at this moment. His eyes were making love to her, letting ‘her know without words that he found her beautiful and desirable.

  The look lasted no more than a few seconds, but it was long enough to stir Hannah’s senses, and she wriggled uncomfortably on her seat. ‘Danny’s gone to sleep,’ she said needlessly.

  ‘Good, I’m glad he’s settled, he was in quite a state.’ Jordan finished pouring his own drink and sat down again, his eyes still on hers. ‘Let’s drink a toast, Hannah, a toast to us, to happiness and a long married life.’

  How could you achieve happiness without love? she wondered. It didn’t have to be a deep love. If only he would love her just a little bit, just enough to warrant her giving herself to him. If he did not love her, if he never loved her, the hungry ache in her heart would one day become unbearable. ‘A toast to us,’ she said faintly.

  ‘You don’t seem too sure?’ A frown appeared, grooving two deep lines in his brow.

  ‘How can I be sure under the circumstances?’

  ‘Hannah,’ his emphasis on the last syllable of her name had never been more pronounced, ‘you married me for better or worse. There’s no backing out. I might not believe in love, but I don’t believe in divorce either. You’re stuck with me now for the rest of your life.’

  Hannah said nothing. What was there to say?

  ‘Are you regretting it already―after only one day?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘Then I suggest you smile and at least pretend to be happy. You’ve got me now instead of Roger, so accept it and make the most of things.’ There was a caustic bite to his tone and the softness had gone out of his eyes.

  ‘I’ll try,’ she murmured, not wishing to arouse his temper by saying it was impossible.

  ‘You’d better,’ he growled, taking a long swallow of his whisky.

  Hannah drank her gin also, but too quickly, and she choked as it went down the wrong way. Tears came to her eyes and she saw Jordan in a blur as he rose to pat her back.

  ‘There’s no need,’ she demurred.

  ‘Of course, I’d forgotten you don’t like me touching you,’ he grated. ‘I think maybe I’ll take my drink through to the office and go through some more papers. Did you do those letters?’

  Hannah shook her head. ‘I didn’t have time.’

  ‘So what the hell were you doing while I was away?’

  ‘I went to fetch Daniel, and then—’

  ‘You decided not to go back to work?’ Jordan cut in accusingly. ‘You decided to smother him with love and make the whole situation worse.’

  ‘I did not!’ protested Hannah.

  He snorted impatiently. ‘I imagine I’ve married you just in time to stop him becoming a spoilt mother’s boy who can’t stick up for himself.’

  ‘If it hadn’t been for your stupid Ferrari none of this would have happened,’ she riposted.

  ‘I don’t agree,’ he told her smoothly. ‘Most boys get taunted. It’s a matter of giving as good as you get. All Daniel needed was a boost to his self-confidence. I think our talk helped. I’m sure he won’t allow them to upset him again.’

  Why was it that Jordan always knew what to do? she mused. It was a pity he’d never had a son of his own―he would certainly have been a boy to be proud of. But so was Danny, she told herself. He was a little timid, a little shy, but that was all, and now with Jordan for a father he would… Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt. She was already, in her mind, letting Jordan take over.

  ‘What are you thinking now?’ he asked, seeing her change of expression.

  ‘Nothing.’

  Again his brows rose in that familiar manner when he did not believe she was speaking the truth. ‘That’s a psychological impossibility.’

  ‘OK, nothing that I want to tell you,’ Hannah amended.

  ‘Because it concerns me?’

  ‘Really, Jordan, I don’t have to answer all these questions!’

  He smiled then, a slow smile that softened the hard planes of his face and sent tiny lines radiating out from the corners of his eyes. ‘That means the answer was yes. But I won’t press you―it’s your privilege to think what you like.’

  The moment he left the room Hannah finished her drink and went upstairs to bed. It was early, far too early, but she wanted to be asleep before Jordan came up, and she knew she would lie awake for a long time before she eventually dropped off.

  She had been in bed for no more than a few minutes when he came into their room. She had been alerted by the sound of his brisk footsteps-outside the door and now lay with her eyes tightly closed, pretending to be asleep.

  But when she heard the rustle of a silky shirt being slid from broad shoulders, and a trouser zip being carefully lowered, her eyes shot wide. ‘What are you doing?’

  He smiled lazily. ‘Joining my wife―what do you think? It can only mean one thing when you come to bed at this hour.’

  ‘Bu
t―but you didn’t know I was here,’ she spluttered, growing hot and cold alternately. He was playing some sort of cat-and-mouse game, shredding her nerves.

  ‘I came in search of you. I was going to ask you a question about the accounts, but naturally that can wait. This is a far more pleasant way of spending the evening.’ By now all he was wearing was a pair of brief black underpants.

  A warm flush coloured her cheeks as she saw the way he was looking at her. It needed no guesswork to know what was in his mind. And yet he had promised! Or was this all part of the torment? Was he going to join her in bed but not touch her? Arouse her desires to fever pitch but do nothing about it? Wait for her to make the first move?

  CHAPTER TEN