But Hannah did not move. ‘I want to know what it is I’ve done that’s made you like this. Last night we—’
‘Last night makes no difference to how I feel now,’ Jordan cut in coldly and contemptuously.
‘You mean it was―as you said―all a g-game? And now it’s over. I disappointed you?’ Her lips trembled and there was the suspicion of tears on her lashes, but she did her best to keep control. She did not want him knowing how upset she really was.
‘Yes, you disappointed me,’ he agreed, his stony voice lashing her cruelly.
‘And I bet you turned to Riva for comfort?’ The words were out before she could stop them.
He eyed her coldly. ‘Yes, I saw Riva. Now find your pencil and let’s get down to work.’
The lump in Hannah’s throat was too big to swallow and her stupid tears kept spilling over on to the pad. She was glad Jordan did not look at her-he would most certainly have sneered, and on top of his contempt it was more than she could handle.
He stood up immediately he had finished. ‘I’d like those done today,’ he told her curtly.
‘But it will take me hours,’ she protested. ‘I won’t be finished before Danny goes to bed. I must spend some time with him.’
‘Then I suggest you get on with them instead of arguing,’ he rasped. ‘And don’t forget to deliver those other letters. I want the tenants to have them today.’
He could have taken them himself, she thought uncharitably as he left the office.’ What was wrong with that? He had reverted to the impossible boss; he was going to be difficult to handle. But she had coped before, so she would again, she told herself stoically. All she had to do was stand up to him.
This was easier said than done. Now that she had been to bed with him everyone of her layers of defence had been stripped away: he had seen her totally vulnerable, every raw nerve exposed and taken and used―and now she was discarded like an empty paper bag.
Only last night she had envisaged a lifetime together, in fact Jordan had spoken about it himself, but now there was nothing. He would keep her here to do the job he had brought her to do, but once everything was running to his satisfaction and Drew took over-what then? Would she be out of a home and out of a job? Or would he keep her tied to his side and make her suffer? The thought did not bear thinking about.
It was a long time before she gathered her wits sufficiently to concentrate on typing his letters, and even then she did them automatically without taking anything in. But at length they were finished. It was half-past six. Daniel would have eaten but not be in bed. He could walk with her to take those other letters. His company and fresh air were what she needed right now.
But when she went in search of her son he was nowhere in sight. Nor was Jordan. She found Mrs Savill in the kitchen preparing their dinner, and the woman told her that they had gone out together. ‘Something about a pony,’ she added.
Hannah was furious. Jordan had gone to buy Danny his pony without saying anything to her? How could he do that? ‘Where exactly have they gone?’ she asked.
‘Search me,’ shrugged the older woman.
‘When did they go?’
‘Straight after your son finished his tea.’
‘And you’ve no idea where?’
‘I’m sorry, Mrs Quest, he didn’t say.’
‘I wish he’d told me,’ said Hannah, trying without much luck to control her temper. ‘I would have liked to go with them.’
Mrs Savill sympathised. ‘Whenever Mr Quest makes up his mind he does things straight away.’
Hannah agreed. It had been an equally sudden decision when Jordan had asked her to marry him.
There was no sense in hanging around waiting for them to come back. Armed with the letters, she set off briskly for the cottages. She had delivered the last one and was rounding the corner by the farmhouse when suddenly Daniel came galloping towards her on a pony that was far too big for him, a look of abject terror on his face.
Hannah did what most mothers would do instinctively: she caught hold of the pony’s reins as he shot past her and hung on, using all her strength to bring him to a halt. But it was not enough. The pony was also frightened, and now Hannah was being dragged along as well. When he headed for a narrow gateway she knew there wasn’t room for both of them, but neither was there time to let go!
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE old wooden gatepost tore through Hannah’s clothes to her skin, but she was oblivious to the pain, thinking only of her son. Miraculously the pony halted, virtually skidding to halt when confronted by both Jordan and the burly farmer. Hannah could not think what Jordan was doing here in this yard when he should have been with Daniel, but this was no time to ask questions.
She felt bruised all over and was trembling so much she could hardly stand, but she lifted her arms up to Daniel, who had tears streaming down his face and was still hanging on to the pony’s mane like grim death.
Jordan’s strong arms reached Daniel before hers, lifting him easily, stooping down beside him as he stood him on the ground. ‘Are you all right, little man? That was some ride!’ There was actually admiration on his face.
Hannah could not believe it. ‘Some ride!’ she stormed. ‘He could have been killed! You had no right letting him go off alone like that. He—’
‘Hannah, calm down,’ Jordan said quietly, his eyes skimming over her own dishevelled state. ‘We’ll talk about it later. Let me handle Daniel. The wrong words now and you’ll have him frightened of horses for life.’
She clenched her teeth and glared, and keeping quiet was the most difficult thing she had ever done. Jordan spoke softly and encouragingly to Daniel, and because Jordan was his hero Danny listened attentively and within minutes he was smiling and saying proudly to Hannah, ‘I was pretending to be a cowboy, Mummy, you needn’t have tried to stop me. I was going fast on purpose.’
Hannah glanced coldly at Jordan over the top of his head and then hugged her son to her. ‘It was very clever of you, Danny―I didn’t realise. But I think we ought to go home now and get cleaned up, don’t you?’ Every bone in her body ached; surely some of them must be broken?
‘OK,’ he agreed eagerly. ‘Can I have a piggyback, Dad?’
‘Of course, son,’ and to the farmer, ‘Will you see to Captain, Jim?’
‘Sure will. You look after the child―and Mrs Quest. She looks as though she’s in need of some tender loving care as well.’ The farmer winked at Hannah as he spoke and she knew he was hinting at the fact that they were newlyweds.
Jordan turned to Hannah and there was concern in his eyes as he looked at her, but she knew he did not really care, that this display of sympathy was for the farmer’s benefit alone. ‘Can you manage to walk?’ he asked softly, ‘or shall I fetch the car?’
Her lips were tight. ‘I’ll walk.’ But it was an effort to put one foot in front of the other and she did not know which part of her hurt most. When they got to the house she sent Daniel up to his room and asked Jordan if he would like to supervise his bath and put him to bed. She knew he would agree, he loved doing anything for her son. They had built up a tremendous rapport over the short time they had known each other.
‘I think you’re the one I should be looking after,’ he said firmly. ‘You shouldn’t have tried to stop Captain, you could have got yourself killed.’
‘And my son could have been killed if I hadn’t!’ she retorted furiously.
‘I don’t think so.’ His brown eyes were intent on hers. ‘Captain was on his way back to the stable. He knew exactly where he was going.’
‘Danny didn’t know that, and neither did I. Danny was frightened out of his wits!’
‘Mention that in front of him and I’ll screw your neck,’ Jordan muttered fiercely. ‘You’ll undo all the good I’ve done. As far as he’s concerned it was nothing more than an exciting adventure.’
‘You had no right letting him out alone on that pony in the first place,’ she accused, wondering why, in the heat of th
is argument, when it was her son’s life they were discussing, she still felt his dangerous sexual power. It seemed he had only to look at her and she went to pieces. Her body wasn’t her own any more.
‘It was Daniel’s suggestion,’ he told her. ‘He assured me he could ride, I watched him go round the yard a few times, and Captain is the mildest of all the ponies. I wouldn’t have let Daniel go on him unsupervised otherwise.’
‘He wasn’t very placid when I saw him.’
‘Yes, I know.’ He frowned thoughtfully. ‘I don’t understand it. Something must have happened to scare him, but I didn’t think it wise to question Daniel today. I shall get to the bottom of it, though, don’t worry, and Daniel won’t go on Captain again unless I’m with him.’
Hannah, too weary to stand any longer, turned away and headed up the stairs. ‘Make sure you do,’ she said. ‘My son is very precious to me.’
‘You think he’s not to me too?’ Jordan asked softly over her shoulder.
‘Oh, I think you like him all right,’ she agreed, ‘but there are no blood ties. If anything happened to Danny I’d kill myself.’
‘That’s silly talk, Hannah.’
‘Is it?’ she snapped. ‘Not having the capacity to fall in love, you wouldn’t know what it’s like. Losing Roger was like a death sentence, but if Danny went as well life definitely wouldn’t be worth living.’
‘Of course―Roger. I forgot for one moment that he was the love of your life.’ The contempt was back. ‘I doubt if you’ll ever make any attempt to let anyone take his place. I seem to have got myself into a no-win situation.’
Now should have been the time for her to tell him that Roger had already taken second place, that after last night she had discovered a love so deep and meaningful that she wondered why she had ever called what it was she felt for Roger love. But Jordan was in no mood to listen; it would do no good. He quite possibly despised her for giving herself so freely to him last night. Certainly something had happened, though she doubted if she would ever find out exactly what thoughts had gone through his mind.
At Daniel’s door he stopped, asking tersely, ‘Are you sure you’re in a fit state to bathe yourself?’
Hannah nodded, but would have said yes even if she were dying. It would have been more than flesh and blood could stand to have him touch her. But once alone in the room her legs felt as though they would no longer hold her weight, and she staggered to the bed. There were aches in her heart as well as her body, and she wondered how long she would be able to put up with Jordan treating her like this.
He had talked about a no-win situation, but she felt as though she was in one herself. There was no future with him, and yet she hadn’t the financial independence to go elsewhere. As she was his wife he did not pay her a salary, and although he had mentioned opening her a bank account he had done nothing about it yet. In any case, she wouldn’t touch a penny of his money; the last thing she wanted was to be indebted to him.
When the door opened and Jordan came in, his shirt sleeves rolled up, his hair damp and curly after being in the bathroom with Daniel, Hannah realised that she had lain there longer than she intended. He frowned harshly when he saw her struggling to sit up. ‘What are you doing?’ he demanded.
Hannah winced as she moved and he was at her side instantly. ‘Here, let me.’ A hand for her to hold on to, a steadying arm about her waist―and frissons of feeling running through her!
‘Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt this badly?’ he demanded, as she found it difficult to stand.
‘I was more interested in Daniel than myself. It’s just a few bruises―it’s nothing. Once I’ve had a bath I’ll feel better.’
‘You need more than a bath. I’d say you need medical attention,’ he snorted. ‘First of all, let’s get rid of these clothes.’
He was so expert that it was obviously not the first time he had undressed a woman, but Hannah doubted whether it had been done so clinically before. She wished she had the strength to object.
When her clothes lay in a pile on the floor his eyes sought each graze and bruise, his lips pursed as he saw the extent of her injuries. ‘My God, Hannah, how did all this happen?’ he demanded.
‘You know very well how it happened,’ she told him fiercely, wishing she could stem the rising tide of emotion that his touch evoked. ‘I was trying to stop the pony and he dragged me along, and I hurt my shoulders when he charged through the gate.’
‘I’ll say you hurt your shoulders!’ he rasped. ‘There’s hardly any skin left on them!’
Hannah felt sure he was exaggerating.
‘I’ll run you a warm bath and clean your wounds, then we’ll see whether you need a doctor.’
He was briskly efficient, and as she stepped, with his help, into the water he had mildly disinfected, Hannah could not help musing on the difference in him between now and last night. If he had still been in the same mood he would have turned this whole affair into a game of love. His actions would have been entirely sensual as he disrobed her, he would touched and excited, stroked and aroused, and she would have forgotten all about her aches and pains: Instead his lips were tight, his actions detached, and she could have been his worst enemy for all the interest he showed.
The water stung when she first slid in, but within seconds it soothed and calmed. Jordan remained looking down at her, his eyes totally expressionless. She actually found it difficult to understand how he could be so hotblooded one moment and so coldly indifferent the next. As far as she was concerned you either cared for a person or you didn’t. If you loved them you loved them to distraction, and your moods were no different one day to the next. But she kept forgetting, Jordan did not love her. There were no emotions at all in his cold soul, his heart was a swinging brick, and it was clear now why he had never married. No girl in her right mind would put up with someone whose moods were as changeable as Jordan’s.
She closed her eyes for a moment to try and shut him out but opened them quickly when she heard him messing about in the water. He had a face-flannel in his hands and was ready to wash her as he’d washed Daniel earlier. One part of her wanted to scream out in protest, but the other more dominant part, her sensual part, let him get on with it. This would probably be the last time he touched her, and even though It was crazy loving him when he was so dispassionate, she hadn’t the will-power to deny her needs.
First he wiped over her face, paying particular attention to the smudges of mascara beneath her eyes. Hannah found herself trembling beneath his touch and hoped he would think it was all connected to her ordeal. He was so close she could see the brown flecks in his irises, and she wanted to reach out and touch, but knew she did not dare.
Discarding the flannel and using his hands instead, he washed her arms, lifting each up in turn, then her legs and feet, mindful of her bruised knees. His touch was gentle and caring, and had it not been for his lack of emotion Hannah would have said he was enjoying it. He was particularly careful when he washed her back and quite brief, but when his hands moved to soap her breasts it seemed that he deliberately slowed his movements. Hannah felt the room begin to spin and closed her eyes so that she would not see those tanned, long-fingered hands performing so intimate a task.
Everyone of her pulses throbbed, every part of her clamoured for something more than this cool, detached performance. When she could stand the assault no longer, when outrage began to take the place of enjoyment, she pushed him roughly away. ‘I think that’s enough,’ she said quickly.
His smile was a sneer. ‘I wondered when you were going to stop me. For all your protests about still being faithful to your―to Roger―you seem to find a great deal of pleasure in my touching you.’
‘That’s a lie,’ she snapped. ‘You were deliberately taking advantage.’
‘Was I taking advantage last night too? Did I get it wrong? Were you not as willing as I thought?’ he asked savagely. ‘No, don’t answer, I don’t want to hear any more of your lies. Let’s get you o
ut of here.’
She used his arm as a lever and allowed him to pat her sore shoulders dry, but then she took the towel from him and ordered him out. His lips quirked at her belated prudery. ‘Give me a call when you’re finished and I’ll put some ointment on your wounds. They’re not as bad as I first thought, but you sure as hell are going to be stiff and sore in the morning.’
It came as a relief when Jordan declared, later that evening, that he was going to sleep in one of the other rooms. ‘I don’t want to knock you accidentally,’ he explained, but Hannah felt sure it was because of whatever had happened to poison his mind towards her.
Nevertheless she was glad he was moving out. She’d had the uneasy feeling all day that despite his attitude he would have no compunction about using her in bed. And that would have been unbearable.
That night was the most uncomfortable Hannah had ever spent. In whichever position she lay it hurt, and she was up far earlier than usual, washing and dressing, wincing as the soft material of her blouse chafed against the grazes. In the end she took the blouse off and put on a strapless sun-top. It was a splendid July day, warm even at this hour, and as Daniel was not yet awake she went outside to walk by the moat.
Stormy Relationship Page 16