by Ann McMan
They had little time for goodbyes when they reached the airport—not even stopping to park. Maddie’s flight was already at the gate. They dropped her at a curbside entrance with her single bag, so she could rush through security. Syd climbed out and stood back while Maddie hugged David and Michael and thanked them for making the whirlwind trek to Charlotte. She promised to call them as soon as she knew anything definitive about Celine. When she turned to Syd, her eyes were glassy. Wordlessly, they stepped toward each other and embraced. When Maddie pulled back, she took Syd’s face between both of her hands and kissed her lightly on the lips.
“I love you,” she whispered.
Syd felt her eyes well with tears. “I love you, too.”
Maddie gave her a crooked smile and squeezed her hand before turning around and striding toward the large glass door that led to the American Airlines concourses. Syd stood there and watched her retreating back until she lost sight of her as she rounded the bend near the TSA screening area.
It was going to be a long and desolate ride back to Virginia.
ON SATURDAY MORNING, Syd sat upstairs with Pete in the small sitting area adjacent to Maddie’s bedroom. She had wandered around the big farmhouse for most of the morning, feeling unsettled and anxious, trying hard to distract herself from excessive clock-watching as she waited for Maddie’s next phone call.
She received a text message from her at five-thirty in the morning, to let her know that she had arrived in L.A. and was en route to the hospital. Celine was out of surgery, and her condition was listed as critical. Maddie called her shortly after eight, to let her know that she’d seen her mother and talked with her surgeon. Celine had sustained a tear in her carotid artery and had been intubated at the scene. She’d also suffered a broken arm and a perforation to her spleen, which had been removed. She now was in ICU, and was still unconscious.
Maddie sounded exhausted, not having slept much on the eight-hour trip. She had managed to book a room at the nearby Beverly Hills Wilshire Plaza Hotel, but was certain to stay at the hospital for as long as Celine remained in critical condition. She promised to call Syd with updates, as her condition warranted. She thanked her again for her willingness to stay on the farm and care for Pete.
“It helps me to know you’re there,” she said.
“It helps me to be here, too, especially since I’m not there with you.”
The line was quiet for a moment. “Thanks for helping me pack. I’m embarrassed that I fell apart like that. I’m usually more in control.”
“I know. It’s understandable.” She wanted to say more, but wasn’t sure what words to use. “Did you get anything to eat?”
“I made myself eat a snack on the plane. I found the protein bar you stuck in my bag.” Syd could hear the smile in Maddie’s voice.
“Good.”
“Here comes Dr. Kramer. I’d better go. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Okay.” She hesitated. “I . . . you know.”
“I know. Me, too. Bye.”
“Bye.”
They hung up.
That was two hours ago. Syd glanced at the clock over the bedroom fireplace. Not even ten o’clock. She was going to go crazy at this rate. She needed to distract herself.
She pushed the sleeves up on the enormous black sweater that hung off her body and picked up the laptop computer on a small table. Maddie had tossed the sweater on the bed with the rest of her clothes last night, after she had changed for her flight. When Syd had walked up the back stairs later that evening with Pete in tow, she stopped in Maddie’s bedroom long enough to fold the discarded garments before making her way down the hall to the guest room. A trace of Maddie’s perfume wafted out of the sweater when Syd picked it up, and she held it to her face, trying not to cry. Oh, what the hell? She put it on, and had been wearing it ever since.
Maddie’s laptop was already plugged in and booted up, so she was able to access its Internet browser easily. She navigated to the Los Angeles Times web site and checked to see if there was any local news coverage of Celine’s accident. It didn’t take her long to find a series of stories and breaking news alerts—the most recent article having been posted only an hour earlier.
DETAILS EMERGE IN UCLA LAB EXPLOSION
Fatality/serious injury reported when CHS centrifuge explodes
By Lynn Hayes
A source at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine states that a malfunctioning centrifuge was the cause of yesterday’s laboratory explosion. The toxicology research lab was located on the fourth floor of the Center for Health Sciences (CHS) Building adjacent to the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center in Westwood.
Medical Center personnel confirmed that Diego Vaz Peña, a 24 year-old laboratory assistant from Santa Monica, was pronounced dead at the scene. Dr. Celine Heller, Schering Professor of Molecular Toxicology and Associate Dean of the Geffen School of Medicine, was seriously injured, and transported to the Reagan Medical Center complex for treatment. According to sources at the medical center, her condition continues to be listed as critical.
Dr. Laszlow Kramer, a research associate of Dr. Heller’s and professor of pathology, reported that the toxicology lab centrifuge was a Beckman L2 that had been slated for replacement over two years ago, but was still in use due to funding limitations. It was housed in an alcove adjacent to Heller’s main lab, and was mid-cycle when it experienced massive rotor failure. The unit’s safety shielding did not contain the blast, and the explosion hurled metal fragments across the lab, breaking chemical containers and lodging into walls and ceiling tiles. Shock waves from the explosion shattered all of the windows on the southwest side of the fourth floor.
Heller and Vaz Peña were the only occupants of the lab at the time of the explosion.
Vaz Peña was killed instantly. Metal and glass fragments from the blast struck Heller in various locations on her neck and lower back, and the force of the blast hurled her behind an ultra-cold freezer unit, which likely shielded her from sustaining more extensive injuries. EMTs reported that she was unconscious at the scene.
The Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center houses a Level I trauma center, acute care hospital, ambulatory care facilities, neuropsychiatric hospital, and schools of medicine, dentistry, nursing and public health. The $3.1 billion complex opened in 2006, and was the largest building project ever undertaken by the University of California.
Cal/OSHA has cited the university numerous times for safety violations, most recently for violations of workplace safety laws in the fatal burning of a staff research assistant in a Dec. 29 chemistry department lab fire.
Syd sat the laptop back down on the table and tried to compose herself. In a strange way, reading such a detached and almost clinical account of Celine’s accident made the events seem more real, and yet more surreal at the same time. The enormity of the circumstances and their implications for Maddie slammed into her with fresh urgency. She looked around the room at the many indicators of the quiet life Maddie lived within these walls. She couldn’t help but think about the dinner they’d had with Celine in Richmond just one week ago. It had been her idea for them to pretend to be a couple—a clumsy attempt on her part to trick Celine into revealing her real reason for traveling to Virginia.
From the get-go, she had been persuaded that Celine was not as indifferent to her daughter as Maddie seemed to suggest. Their tête-a-tête when Maddie left the table to handle a patient emergency proved that she was right. And it proved something more, too. Celine seemed to see right through her veneer and expose all of the real emotion that hid behind her pretensions. Never before had she felt such razor-sharp scrutiny.
Well, her scheme had worked, but not in the way she thought it would. The clarity she gained that evening was more about her own feelings for Maddie than Celine’s. And it was equally confounding that Celine didn’t seem at all displeased by the reality of what she glimpsed between the two of them. Even Maddie teased her about that later, when they spent the night at Art’s
loft in Charlottesville.
And now? Now they really were a couple. Weren’t they?
She looked down at a notepad on the table that was covered with Maddie’s illegible handwriting. Beside it was an assortment of pencils and a fat fountain pen. She sighed.
What were they, exactly? I love you. They’d each said it at the airport. Syd had been surprised by Maddie’s admission—and her own. On the long drive back, she replayed the sound of Maddie’s voice saying the words over and over—almost as if they were being whispered again into her ear. And each time, it felt like a warm hand had wrapped itself around her heart.
Was that admission too soon? Could it be too soon if it were true? Did it even matter?
David said that Maddie had been in love with her for months. Normally, she would have dismissed a remark like that from him as just another example of his serial teasing. But Maddie looked embarrassed—even mortified by his comment. And then later, Maddie had said the words herself.
And so had she.
Now, Maddie was on the other side of the country, waiting for her mother to regain consciousness, and Syd was here in her bedroom, waiting to regain her equilibrium.
Wanting to keep her cell phone line free in case Maddie called again, she picked up the cordless phone from the table next to her chair and dialed a familiar number. A voice answered on the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Daddy?”
She could hear the surprise in her father’s voice. “Hey, baby. This is a treat. What are you up to?”
She gave a nervous laugh. “Well, that’s exactly what I called to tell you, but I think you need to sit down first.”
He was immediately concerned. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“Is Mom there?”
“Not right now. She ran out to the store. But she’ll be back in just a few minutes.” He paused. “Did you need to talk with her, honey?”
“No. Yes.” She sighed. “I need to talk with both of you.”
“What is it, sweetheart? Did something happen? Are you okay?”
“I’m okay. But, yes, I guess you could say something happened.”
He was silent for a moment. “Is this about Maddie?”
Syd was stunned. “Why would you ask me that?”
He laughed. “Because it’s nine forty-five on a Saturday morning, and you’re calling me from her house.”
Syd closed her eyes and sank back against the chair. “How do you know that?”
“I’d like to say I’m psychic, but it’s really a lot simpler. Ever heard of Caller I.D.?”
“Shit.” She was mortified.
“Uh huh. Care to tell your old man what’s going on?”
Syd’s heart began to pound. “I, uh . . . it’s um . . . I need to tell you something.” She stopped. The words wouldn’t come. She felt ridiculous—like a teenager struggling to confess to a misdeed. But this was bigger than a broken a window or a dent in the bumper of the family car. Lots bigger. She just needed to say it.
“Baby,” her father’s voice was gentle, “are you calling to tell me that you’re in love with Maddie?”
Syd was speechless.
“Are you still there, sweetheart?” her father asked after a moment.
“Yeah.” She was incredulous. “I’m here. How, uh . . . how on earth did you come up with that?”
He chuckled. “Are you saying that I’m wrong?”
She deliberated about her answer for only a moment. “No, you’re not wrong.”
“I didn’t think so.”
Her amazement continued to increase. “You don’t sound surprised—or upset.”
“Good. I’m not.”
“Why not?”
He sighed. “Honey, it took your mother and I all of about ten minutes to figure it out after we saw the two of you together at Thanksgiving.” He laughed. “Well, it only took your mother about ten minutes. I was a bit slower on the uptake. Any lingering doubts I had were taken care of over Christmas.”
Syd raised a hand to her forehead. “Oh, my god. I can’t believe this.”
“It’s okay, honey. We all knew that Jeff wasn’t right for you.”
“But, Dad. Maddie is a woman.”
“Noticed that, too, did you?” His laughter was infectious. “Yeah, she’s quite the specimen. I had about resolved that if you didn’t soon make a move on her, I was going to have to have a serious sit-down with Tom. I wanted to make sure that somebody in this family ended up with her. She’s too good a catch to toss back.”
Syd sat listening to him in stunned silence. He could have been speaking in an alien tongue.
“So, you’re not bothered by the fact that I’m—that I appear to be, um . . .”
“Gay?” her father supplied.
She exhaled. “Yeah.” Gay. She realized that she had never really said it yet to anyone. “I’m gay.”
“Are you bothered by it?”
Was she? “No. Not anymore.”
“Then I’m not, either. It’s all okay, baby. Your mother and I just want you to be happy. And you seem happier with Maddie than we’ve ever seen you. How can that be bad?”
Syd’s eyes welled with tears. “It’s not bad. I love you, Dad.”
“I love you, too, honey. Is this why you called me? Is Maddie there with you?” He sounded hopeful.
She wiped a hand across her eyes. “Yes, partly. But to answer your other question, no. Maddie isn’t here. There was a horrible accident in California yesterday, and her mother was seriously injured. Maddie flew out there last night. Her mother is still in critical condition. We don’t know yet if she’ll pull through.”
“Oh, my god. What happened?”
“Her mother is a member of the research faculty at the UCLA Medical School. A centrifuge in her lab exploded, and she was hit with shrapnel. Her lab assistant was killed.”
“Holy shit.” His voice conveyed the depth of his concern. “How is Maddie holding up?”
“I think she’s in shock. I heard from her early this morning, but not since then. I’m staying here at her farm with Pete, but I’m really about half crazy with worry.”
“Pete?”
“Her dog.”
“Oh.” He was silent a moment. “Are you going to go out there to be with her?”
Syd sank back against her chair. “I don’t see how I can. I’d have to close the library, and I really can’t afford the last-minute fare. Besides, Maddie may not want the distraction.”
“Has she said that?” he asked.
“No, but she wouldn’t.”
“Do you want to go?”
She sighed. “Of course I do.”
“Then go.”
Her frustration level was growing. “I can’t.”
“Syd.” Her father’s voice was determined. “From where I sit, there’s only one thing you can’t do, and that’s deny your heart.”
“But, how—?”
“Your mother and I will take care of your ticket—consider it an early Christmas present.”
“Dad. I can’t let you do that. It’s too much.”
“Then Merry Christmas and happy birthday.”
She shook her head as tears filled her eyes again. “What am I going to do with you?”
He laughed. “Yesterday, I would have said, ‘make me a grandfather.’ But I can see that we’ll have to be a bit more creative about what we wish for.”
She smiled at his sweetness. “Don’t give up hope. You never know . . . she is a doctor.”
“Noticed that, too?” He chuckled. “Your mother will be beside herself.” In the background, she could hear the sound of a door opening and closing. “And here she is now. Right on cue.” He dropped his voice to a near whisper. “Ready to meet your fate?”
Syd closed her eyes in resignation. “I guess.”
“Okay, honey, you take care of things on your end, and just let me know the numbers. Call us when you get there and keep us updated. Be sure to tell Maddie how concerned we are, and
how happy we are, too.”
In the background, she could hear her mother’s voice asking him to explain what he was talking about.
“Okay, baby, here’s your mother. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Daddy. Thank you for everything.”
She could hear him handing the phone to her mother.
“Margaret? What’s going on?”
She took a deep breath. “Sit down, Mother.”
Chapter 19
Maddie arrived at the hospital exactly fourteen hours after her mother was brought up to ICU from the surgical ward. Celine’s condition had continued to deteriorate throughout the rest of that night. Her already overtaxed system fought to resist a pernicious blood infection that had taken root after the laryngeal tear caused by metal shrapnel had been repaired. The damage to her carotid artery was confined to an anterior thrombosis that the vascular surgeon had successfully repaired. Her perforated spleen had also been removed.
A day later, she continued to run a high fever, and she had not regained consciousness since being brought in nearly thirty-six hours ago. She was being treated with massive infusions of antibiotics.
Maddie was exhausted. Her emotions were like frayed wires. She sat in a chair next to her mother’s bed, quietly holding her hand and listening with her eyes closed to the gentle strains of a Mendelssohn Piano Trio playing from the iPod dock she had placed on a table in the corner of the tiny ICU room.
She felt the slight pressure on her hand as Celine’s fingers moved within hers. She opened her eyes.
Keeping hold of her hand, Maddie quickly stood up and leaned over her mother. Celine’s blue eyes were open, but they looked dull and hazy. “Hi there. Glad to see you decided to make an appearance.”
Celine blinked and moved her lips, but no sound came out. She had been intubated when she first arrived in the ER, but the breathing tube had been removed in the recovery room following her multiple surgeries. Her throat was heavily bandaged.
Maddie squeezed her hand. “No, no. Don’t try to talk. You’ve been extubated, but you sustained some pretty heavy-duty PNIs, and talking won’t be an option for a day or so.” She smiled at her. “I suppose I should take advantage of this while I can.” She felt Celine’s fingers weakly squeeze her hand in response.