by Ann McMan
“She really has been a godsend, hasn’t she?”
“You can say that again. I don’t know how I would’ve managed this trip without her.”
“You know, I owe you an apology.”
Maddie looked at her in surprise. “What for?”
“For the way I reacted when you tried to talk with me about Beau. It wasn’t fair. I was just bitchy and jealous, and I took it out on Lizzy.” She poured herself another splash of the spicy red wine. “He really does give me the creeps. Lizzy wasn’t wrong about that.”
Maddie regarded her quietly. “Well, I understand what you meant about it being difficult to keep him out of the library. But I don’t like him thinking that this means he has carte blanche to pursue you—either of you.”
“I know. If it gets any more pronounced, I’ll do something about it. I promise.”
Maddie sighed. She wasn’t persuaded that waiting to see if Beau’s behavior got worse was the wisest strategy, but she knew she had to respect Syd’s judgment on this. “Okay.” She decided to shift the conversation to something less volatile. “I also talked with David this afternoon.”
Syd brightened up at once. “You did?”
“Um hmmm. He had a bit of local news. It seems they broke up a meth lab out on the River Road, not too far from the Inn. He was worried that it might hurt their business.”
“How? Because it was so close to them?”
Maddie snorted. “No, because they closed it. He thought that having a business nearby with such strong local connections would raise their profile among the natives—make the place seem less snooty.”
Syd shook her head. “I somehow doubt that this would attract the clientele he’s interested in.”
“You never know. He also told me that Michael was busy perfecting his recipe for pureed beef liver dog biscuits.”
“Oh, my god.” Syd stifled a laugh. “That sounds perfectly disgusting.”
“Yeah? Well yuck it up while you can. Remember, you’re the one who gets to work all the extra lard off my dog’s ass.”
“Oh, I remember. Did he have anything else of interest to impart?”
“To impart? Not really. He did, however, ask me point blank if we’d managed to get horizontal yet.”
Syd’s jaw dropped. “And what did you say?”
“What do you think I said?”
Syd gazed at her through the declining light with narrowed eyes. “Oh, my god. You told him, didn’t you?”
Maddie was offended. “I most certainly did not tell him.”
“You are so full of shit. I can totally tell by your guilty expression that he knows.”
“Ex-cuse me, blondie, I told him nothing. That is not to say that he wasn’t able to intuit the details from my stony silence.”
“Oh, god.” Syd groaned. “Well, I suppose we’ll have a few surprises waiting for us when we get back.”
“Oh, count on it. At the very least, I’d expect every bed at the farm to be short-sheeted. And if memory serves, he said something about having a U-Haul truck all lined-up and parked at the library for you.”
“A U-Haul? Whatever for?”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “I thought you said you did research on lesbian relationships?”
Syd was confused. “I did.”
“Well, apparently your sources were a tad too esoteric if you missed the whole ‘What does a lesbian take on the second date?’ joke.”
Syd scrunched her eyebrows together, then she threw her head back and exhaled. “Oh, Jesus.”
“Exactly.”
“Hmmm. Well, I suppose there are worse things.”
Maddie was intrigued. “Than?”
“Than the awful prospect of having to move in with you.”
“I would have to agree with—hey! Did you just say that moving in with me would be awful?”
Syd smiled sweetly at her. “I guess it would have its compensations.”
“That’s more like it.”
“I mean,” she continued, “I have always wanted a Wolf range.”
Maddie looked at her in disbelief. “Keep it up, Shortie. One more wisecrack like that, and you’ll go to bed with no dessert.”
Syd snagged one of the chocolate truffles off its plate at the center of the table. “Too late.”
Maddie gave her a smoldering look. “That wasn’t the dessert I was referring to.”
“Oh.” Syd met her eyes and slowly lowered the treat. “Did I say awful? What I meant to say was awfully tempting.”
Maddie folded her arms across her chest. “Awfully tempting?”
Syd nodded enthusiastically. “Awfully.”
“How do I know that you aren’t just paying lip service to what you think I want to hear?”
“Lip service?” She got up from her chair and sat on Maddie’s lap. “What a splendid idea. You read my mind.” She kissed her. “I excel at lip service,” she whispered against her mouth.
“I’ll say.” Maddie pulled her closer and allowed Syd to continue with her demonstration. “Okay,” she breathed, once they separated. “I’m persuaded. How about we carry all of this stuff inside and explore some of your other gifts?”
Syd pecked at her nose before standing up. “Works for me.”
They quickly collected plates and glasses and headed for the house. Syd waited for Maddie to open the sliding door, and as she started to walk past her, Maddie touched her on the arm and shyly asked, “What about the third date? Would that be too soon?”
IT JUST GETS better.” Syd climbed up Maddie’s limp form, then pushed herself up on her forearms and kissed along the solid underside of her jaw. “And I don’t see how that’s even possible.”
Maddie could only moan as she lay there, feeling dazed and weightless. She wanted to lift her arms and wrap them around Syd, but she couldn’t remember how to make that happen. Her mind and her body were presently not on speaking terms.
Syd’s ability to reduce her to a smoldering heap of gray matter was incredible—and unprecedented. She had never been so responsive before, so willing to surrender control and hand the reins of pleasure over to another person. And she was supposed to be the experienced one—the tried-and-tested Sherpa of Syd’s novice expedition. Well, some Tenzing Norgay she turned out to be. She could barely move, much less guide or direct the explorations of the inventive woman on top of her.
On the other hand, she thought, as Syd continued to kiss her way across her chest, I have taken her to the summit. She smiled. A lot of times.
With that realization came a few other welcome discoveries. Her hands appeared to be working now. She slipped them over Syd’s smooth back and ran them down to grasp her bottom. Motor control appeared to be a cumulative thing. She was able to lift her head now, and she wasted no time putting her lips to good use against Syd’s face and neck. Using her greater strength, she urged Syd forward and leaned up to trail her open mouth over her breasts as she pulled her into a sitting position across her abdomen. Syd wound her hands into her hair and began to moan as Maddie continued her heated attentions to her chest. They were both sitting up now, Syd’s legs straddling her lap. Maddie raised her head and kissed her—deep, sensuous kisses that went on and on.
Syd’s hips moved and slid against her, and Maddie slowly lowered herself back to the bed. Syd was sprawled out on top of her now—her legs and arms straddling her long body. Maddie continued to kiss her, gliding her lips along her jaw to the side of her face. She moved her hands down to cover her bottom again. Syd’s breath was coming in short bursts.
Maddie kissed, licked at her ear, and sucked the lobe into her mouth. “Ever been mountain climbing?” she asked, her words streaming like liquid fire.
She used her hips and her hands to urge Syd forward—up across the plains and peaks of her body toward her waiting mouth.
“Oh, god, baby.” Syd’s muffled cry was the last thing Maddie heard before they surged together and left the known world behind.
THEY WERE MOSTLY quiet on the thirty-minute dr
ive to the Los Angeles airport the next morning. Celine’s Lexus glided through the late morning traffic with the grace of a shark, and Syd was impressed by Maddie’s ability to navigate the legendary Southern California highways without breaking a sweat.
“You really aren’t fazed by much of anything, are you?” she finally asked, as they merged onto the 105.
Maddie glanced at her. “What do you mean?”
Syd gestured out the window at the spaghetti-like maze of traffic lanes. “Well, this, for example. It’s hardly like your daily commute to work in Jericho.”
Maddie laughed. “You forget that I’m not a stranger here, and that this really isn’t as bad as driving in Philadelphia.”
“It isn’t?” Syd was surprised.
“Nuh uh. In Philly, you have a large volume of cars moving at roughly the same rates of speed, but the highways have more potholes than pavement. Driving there was like playing beat-the-clock on an obstacle course that had been carpet bombed.”
Syd chuckled and looked out the window at the passing landscape. “This place is such a paradox.”
“It is?”
“Yeah. There are so many contradictions.”
“Like?”
“Well, think about it.” Syd angled in her seat to face Maddie. “I mean, twenty-five million people are crammed into an area that’s mostly desert. Bizarre. There are over ten thousand earthquakes a year. And one day, the entire state will probably split apart and fall into the ocean. Pathological. There are well over a hundred colleges and universities in fewer than a dozen counties, making this one of the richest and best-educated regions of the entire country, and the lifestyle here is one of the most socially liberal and culturally relaxed on the entire planet. And yet . . .”
“And yet?” Maddie gave her a quizzical look.
“And yet, their chief executive is someone called The Governator, and they openly embrace repressive and discriminatory pieces of social legislation that would make someone in Idaho scratch their head.”
“You mean Prop 8?” Maddie asked.
“Yeah. It makes no sense.”
“Welcome to life on the edge of civilization. See why they call it la la land?”
“I still don’t get it.”
“It sounds like you’ve really spent some time thinking about all of this.”
“I have.”
“Why?” Maddie’s tone was teasing. “You suddenly wanna get married to another woman or something?”
“Maaayyybe.” Syd placed a hand on her thigh and gave it a playful squeeze. “If it wasn’t for the inconvenient fact that I’m already married. Let’s just say that it’s a concept I’ve been paying more attention to lately.” She sighed. “It’s so ridiculous. I mean, I could fly into Vegas, pick up a random guy in a casino, get married that same night by someone in an Elvis jumpsuit, and my union would be sanctioned and protected by every major religious denomination and civil government in this country. On the other hand,” she looked at Maddie’s strong profile, etched against the backlight of the driver’s-side window, “I could take a year getting to know a wonderful and accomplished woman; fall completely in love with her and want to share my life with her in responsible and mature ways, but be barred from any of that by the same laws of god and man that say it’s okay to stand up with a stranger in front of Elvis.”
Maddie shook her head. “Maybe Virginia isn’t the best place for you to settle, then.”
“You either, by this definition.”
“True. But according to your exhaustive study, the most liberal state in the union isn’t very hospitable, either.”
Syd smiled at her slyly. “Well, there’s always Vermont.”
Maddie laughed. “It is cold there. Maybe I’d keep better.”
“Afraid you’re wearing out, Doctor?”
“Not wearing out so much as wearing down. I’ve had a bit more, um, activity than I’m used to, lately.”
“Are you complaining?”
Maddie took hold of her hand and placed it back on her thigh. “Does it seem like I’m complaining?”
“Not from my vantage point, no.”
“Yours is the only one that counts.”
Syd gently ran her hand back and forth over the top of Maddie’s leg. The denim of her jeans felt warm and soft. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
“Me, too.”
Syd yawned. “At least I can catch up on my sleep during the flight.”
Maddie smirked at her. “Something been keeping you up at night?”
“You might say that. I feel guilty for how much I’ve been neglecting poor Jane.”
“Jane? Jane Eyre?”
Syd shook her head. “Austen. I’ve moved on. I’m afraid I left poor Elizabeth stranded at Rosings with Lady Catherine.”
“Oh, dear. Well, I suppose she could always amuse herself by admiring the craftsmanship of Her Ladyship’s chimney piece.”
Syd swatted her on the arm. “You are such a scholar, you know that? Do you trot these tidbits out just to impress me?”
“That depends . . . is it working?”
“Definitely.”
“Then, yes, it’s intentional.”
Syd studied her as she slowed down to make the turn into the airport campus. “You are a lot like Mr. Darcy, you know.”
“I am?”
“Oh, yeah. Tall, dark, accomplished, gorgeous . . . and vain.”
“Vain?”
“Oh, lemme guess . . . you’re comfortable with all of those comparisons but the last one?”
Maddie frowned at her.
“I rest my case. Vain.”
Maddie turned into the horseshoe-shaped terminal access area. “Fine. See if I invite you to come fish at Pemberley.”
Syd leaned across the console and kissed her cheek, then quickly nuzzled her ear. “I don’t need to go fishing any more. I’ve already bagged my prize.” She pecked her cheek again. “And I’m not tossing you back.”
Maddie couldn’t hide her smile. “Oh, so that’s a hook in my ass? And all this time, I thought I was sitting on a safety pin.”
Syd sighed and sat back against her seat. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“I sure am.” They smiled at each other.
Maddie found a parking spot in one of the pullover lanes near Terminal 1. They got out of the car and unloaded Syd’s suitcase from the trunk.
“I wish I could come in and wait with you.”
“I know,” Syd said. “But you can’t go through security with me, and my flight leaves in an hour.”
Maddie nodded. “Wanna change your mind and stay here with me?”
Syd smiled at her sadly. “You know I do, but I can’t.” She took a step forward and laid her hand on Maddie’s forearm. “I love you.”
Maddie pulled her into a tight hug. “I love you, too.” She kissed the top of her head before releasing her. “Call me when you get to Charlotte?”
Syd nodded. They stood there staring at each other for a moment, while other passengers came and went, and diesel fumes from an endless line of hotel shuttles filled the air around them.
Syd squinted as she continued to gaze at Maddie. “We are still in California, right?”
“Yeeesss,” Maddie answered, with a trace of suspicion.
“Then nobody’s going to care if I do this.” She pulled Maddie’s head down and kissed her soundly.
Maddie smiled. “I sure won’t complain.”
“Good luck tomorrow. I’ll call you.” Syd kissed her again quickly, then turned and headed for the entrance to Terminal 1, pulling her small roller bag behind her. She looked back before she entered the security screening area and saw that Maddie was still standing there, leaning against the back of Celine’s car. She took a deep breath and turned the corner, heading for a vacant seat on a long row of metal-framed chairs, where she could sit down and remove her shoes.
MADDIE SPENT SEVERAL hours at the hospital with her mother before leaving in the early afternoon to retur
n to Brentwood and make the house ready for her homecoming the next day. Celine had been up and walking without assistance, so it was clear she would be able to stay in her own bedroom at home, and needed only modest alterations in her bathroom to accommodate her during her convalescence.
With Laszlow’s assistance, Maddie had arranged for a nurse to make an in-home visit once a day for the first week, and Celine’s housekeeper was available to offer additional assistance with grocery shopping and meal preparation. Maddie had planned to remain with Celine through the weekend, but her mother insisted that by the first of the week, she should be able to manage very well on her own. Celine was grateful for Maddie’s assistance, but remained adamant that Maddie should not neglect her medical practice for any longer than was necessary.
Wednesday evening, she sat alone on the patio with her glass of wine, listening to Celine’s stereo and thinking back over all that had occurred since she got Laszlow’s phone call on Friday night. The changes in her life had been extraordinary. She and Syd had crossed the final relationship threshold and explored the physical side of their attraction—with a vengeance. She smiled to herself. Who would have guessed that, once her passion was unleashed, Syd would be such a dervish in the bedroom?
Guess I just got lucky, she thought. But, wow, what a turnaround. And a turn on, as it happened, for Maddie found that she responded to Syd in ways she’d never experienced before. She’d never been so wholly present with another lover—so willing to surrender herself to pleasure. It had to be love. That had to be the difference. For the first time in her life, she knew that she was holding nothing back, keeping nothing in reserve. It was exhilarating, and it was terrifying, but it was a risk she was willing to take. Syd was worth it. Together, they were worth it.
Inside the house, the CD changer whirred as it spooled up another disc. Maddie recognized the opening bars of a Schubert lied, “Sei mir gegrüßt.” Something about the recording struck her immediately, and she sat up with a start as she realized what it was. The violin and piano parts were seamless—perfectly melded and achingly familiar. Her heart began to race. When had Celine done this? When had she taken those old taped recordings and transferred them to disc?