by Ann McMan
Ada looked back at Maddie. “Dr. Stevenson?” She quickly looked down at the little boy. “Are you sick?”
“Oh, no, he’s fine,” Maddie said. “I just happened to have the good fortune to be seated next to your grandson.” She lifted her hand and gently rubbed the top of his head. “We became fast friends.” She extended her hand toward Mrs. Lawrence. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Ada slowly held out her hand. Maddie noticed how warm it felt and how puffy her fingers looked. Carpal tunnel or diabetes, she thought. Her heart went out to the woman as she thought about what she was taking on. Mrs. Lawrence looked pallid and fatigued as she stood there. She wondered if there was a Mr. Lawrence. Henry had not mentioned a grandfather.
“Mrs. Lawrence,” Maddie said, gesturing to Michael. “This is my good friend, Michael Robertson.” Michael nodded and smiled at her.
Denise held out a clipboard. “If you’ll just show me some photo I.D. and sign this release form, you can be on your way.”
Ada complied, and Denise thanked her and walked off.
Ada turned to Henry. “Come on, honey. We need to get going. Gramma has to work tonight.” She looked up and met Maddie’s eyes. “Thank you so much for taking care of him on the trip. I really appreciate it.”
Maddie smiled. “It was my pleasure.” She dug into her jacket pocket to retrieve the card she had placed there earlier while Henry was sleeping on the plane. “This is my contact information. Please don’t hesitate to call me if you ever need anything.” She paused. “I mean that sincerely.” She smiled down at Henry as Ada slowly took the card from her. “I’d love to keep in touch with Henry.”
She knelt next to him and placed her hands on his small shoulders. “I really liked meeting you, Henry. Thank you for my drawings. I’ll be sure to show them to Pete.”
Henry threw his arms around her neck and hugged her. “Can I come and see you on your farm?”
Maddie looked up at Ada as she held him. “We’ll see what your grandma thinks about that, and if it’s okay with her, I promise to come and get you for a visit.” She released him and kissed his forehead. “You be a good boy now. I’ll call to check on you, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Bye, sweetheart.”
When she stood up, she noticed that Mrs. Lawrence was rummaging in her purse for something. Finally, she pulled out a pen and something that looked like a pay stub. She tore off a piece of the paper and wrote down a name and phone number.
“This is my home number,” she said, handing the paper to Maddie. “I work second shift, so you can usually catch me in the mornings. My neighbor, Elise Manning will keep Henry at her house until I get home at eleven.” She gave Maddie a small smile. “Call whenever you want to. I know he’d like hearing from you.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Lawrence. Take care.”
She nodded. “Come on, Henry. We need to go now.” She took hold of his hand, and they turned to leave the busy terminal.
As they were walking away, Henry looked back at her and waved. “Bye, Maddie.”
She waved back at him. “Bye, Henry.” She sagged her shoulders as she watched them walk away and leaned into Michael. “Jesus.”
“No kidding,” he said, wrapping an arm around her. “You’re a goner. Who knew you had such maternal instincts?”
“Yeah, yeah. So sue me.” She laughed. “Syd’s gonna freak.”
“Why do you say that?”
Maddie chuckled. “She thinks we need to wait at least a month before we start a family.”
Michael laughed heartily as he squeezed her shoulder and turned her toward the street exit. “Come on. Let’s get you home so you can confess your sins in person.”
MADDIE KNEW THAT Syd wouldn’t be home from orchestra practice until at least four. She intentionally didn’t tell her that she was arriving home a day earlier than they had discussed, wanting to surprise her. After Michael dropped her off, she hurried inside, having just enough time to unpack, change clothes, and reunite with Pete before Syd returned.
Upstairs, she noticed that Syd had, in fact, been sleeping in the front guest room down the hall, instead of staying in her larger, master suite. She noted that Pete’s dog bed had been moved to that room, too. I can fix that in short order, she thought, smiling to herself.
Back downstairs, she put on a pot of coffee and nosed around inside the refrigerator to see if Syd had any intriguing leftovers. She was famished from the long day, and had skipped lunch on the plane, opting instead for a protein bar and some juice. She hoped that she’d be able to prevail upon Syd to cook something for her—even if it was only a couple of scrambled eggs.
Everything in the kitchen was neat and tidy—just like the bedroom upstairs. Except for the few personal items in evidence—a Jane Austen novel on the nightstand, some cosmetics on a shelf in the guest bathroom, a coffee mug in the sink, an extra jacket on a peg near the back door—there was really nothing to suggest that anyone else had even been living in the house. Still, it felt different to Maddie. It felt warmer, more complete. She liked it. She liked coming home to that feeling. It was going to be difficult to have Syd go back to her tiny apartment in town.
Maybe they could talk about that tonight. She smiled to herself as she shut the refrigerator door. Pete started up from his prone position on the floor and darted to the back door with his tail wagging. Then Maddie heard the crunch of car tires on the gravel outside. She walked to the door to the porch and patted the big dog on the head. “I’m right there with ya, big guy. If I had a tail, I’d be wagging it, too.” She pulled open the door, let Pete out, leaned against the doorframe, and watched while Syd parked her car.
Syd looked surprised when she saw Pete bounding toward her from the porch, clearly not understanding how he had gotten outside. After a few moments of puzzlement her face lit up and she looked toward the house. She broke into a heartfelt smile, and Maddie’s knees weakened. She pushed away from the doorframe and walked down the steps to meet her halfway.
Syd flew into her outstretched arms, muttering, “Oh my god, you’re back. I can’t believe it.”
Maddie hugged her close. “Surprised?”
Syd sank her face into Maddie’s neck and took a long, deep breath. “Ecstatic.” She planted a string of tiny kisses up her neck and along her jaw line, ending at her mouth. “I missed you so much,” she murmured against her lips.
Maddie tugged her even closer and kissed her back. When they drew apart, Syd looked at her with shining eyes and laid the palm of her hand against the side of Maddie’s face. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back today? I’d have met you at the airport.”
Maddie turned her head and kissed the palm of Syd’s hand. “And miss this greeting? Are you kidding me?”
Syd chuckled. “Oh, honey, you’d have received this greeting even if we’d been standing in the middle of Billy Graham Parkway.”
Maddie raised an eyebrow. “Somebody is feeling a whole lot of confidence.”
“Nuh uh. Somebody is feeling a whole lot in love.”
They kissed again.
“I certainly share that sentiment.”
Syd smiled up at her. “How about we go inside and continue getting reacquainted? I want to hear about your flight, and I want to hear about Celine.”
Maddie released her, but kept hold of her hand. “Good idea. Can I help you carry anything?”
“Nope. Just let me get my violin.” They walked to the car, and Syd retrieved her violin case from the front seat.
Inside, Maddie went to the coffeepot and took a cup out of the cupboard. “Want a cup? I made a pot to try and make myself wake up.” She smiled at her slyly. “I thought I might need the extra stamina.”
Syd arched an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Worried that someone might try and keep you awake later?”
“No. I’m counting on it.”
“Hmmm. How about something to eat while we’re at it? Are you hungry?”
“Famished. I was hoping you’
d offer.”
“I guess it’s pretty presumptuous of me to offer to feed you in your own kitchen.”
“Are you kidding? I fantasized about having you cook for me all the way home from Charlotte.”
“Well, I can think of a few other fantasies I’d rather inspire, but I won’t complain.” Maddie chuckled, and Syd pulled items from the refrigerator. “Who picked you up, anyway?”
“Michael.”
“Ahh. That explains it.”
Maddie leaned back against the kitchen counter and gave her a quizzical look. “Explains what?”
“Why David was flitting around during rehearsal like the cat that swallowed the canary. I should’ve known something was up.” She turned around to retrieve a couple of utensils from the center island, and Maddie grabbed her by the arm and hauled her to where she was standing.
“I think I need a little appetizer,” she said, lowering her head and kissing her.
Syd wound her arms around Maddie’s neck and sank into the embrace. “God, I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” She kissed the tip of Syd’s nose. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. As much as I’ve enjoyed being here, it’s been hell without you.”
“Yeah, about that . . .” Maddie released her and picked up her coffee mug. “I’ve been thinking.”
Syd walked back to the stove and took a large frying pan down from its hook. “That can’t be good news.”
“Humor me. At least hear me out.”
“I’m all ears.”
Maddie ran her eyes up and down Syd’s shapely frame. “It truly pleases me to say that you aren’t.”
Syd shook her head. “Perv.”
“Oh, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
Syd laughed. “So. What’s your idea?”
“A-hem. Well. Why not just consider staying on here with me? Think of the money you could save the county?” She gave Syd a hopeful look.
“Nice try, Stretch. But, you’re nuts. It’s way too soon.”
“Why do you say that?”
Syd gave her an incredulous look. “Why? Because we’ve only ever spent one night together here, and, even then, we weren’t really together. We have no idea how we’d be if we were here full time.”
Maddie shrugged. “Why not find out?”
“I agree that we should find out, but I think we need to do that in a more gradual way.”
Maddie scowled.
“Baby, I love you. I know that,” Syd said in a tender voice. “And I’m not going anyplace. But we need time to learn what being us is going to be like before we tempt fate by moving in together.” She paused. “You know I’m right.”
Maddie exhaled and nodded slowly. “Yeah. I do. I’m just selfish, and I don’t want to be away from you now.”
“I know. And you won’t be—I promise. But I’m not even divorced yet. I, at least, need time to get that behind me. And we need to figure out what the public implications of living together would be for each of us. Are you ready to take on that whole scenario?”
Maddie looked at her intently. “Yeah. I think I am. How about you?”
“Me?” Syd chuckled. “Well, now that I’ve told my parents, there isn’t much more for me to worry about. I mean, my grant money runs out in less than a year, so I don’t have to worry too much about what the county supervisors would think about having a big ole lesbian running their library.”
Maddie laughed. “In my experience, the less of an issue we make it, the easier it is for everyone else to accept it.”
“Or ignore it,” Syd added.
“That, too. As Celine was quick to remind me—it doesn’t define who we are.”
“She said that?”
“Uh huh. But it was in quite a different context.”
Syd pulled away from Maddie and returned to sautéing chicken breasts in some olive oil and herbs. “Really? What kind of context?”
Maddie sighed. “We had a couple of pretty intense—and revealing—conversations about what caused her to leave my father. It was eye-opening for me, and cathartic, I think, for her.”
“What did she tell you?”
“She told me that she came home from work sick one day and found my father here with someone else. It turns out he’d been having a long-term affair.”
“Oh, my god.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the real kicker. It was with another man.” She paused. “With Uncle Art, actually.”
Syd’s jaw dropped. “Oh, sweetheart.”
“Yeah. I was pretty stunned, as you can imagine. Still am.” She shook her head. “Celine said that Dad made her promise never to tell me. She also never told me that she was pregnant when she left us. She never told Dad, either. She miscarried while she was in New York with her parents. That’s why I never saw her during those first few months after they separated.”
“Jesus.” Syd transferred the chicken to a platter and took the pan off the heat. She turned to Maddie. “Are you okay?”
Maddie nodded. “I am, now. But when she told me, I felt like I had been dropped head first into an alternative universe. Everything looked familiar, but nothing made any sense. Now that I’ve had a few days to live with this information, it’s exactly the opposite. Nothing looks familiar and everything makes sense.” She sighed. “It’s really a paradox.”
“I can only imagine.”
Maddie touched Syd’s arm. “I hope you understand that I wanted to wait until I could tell you this in person?”
“Of course I do.” She covered Maddie’s hand with her own. “What are you gonna do?”
Maddie shrugged. “I don’t know. I need to talk with Art. And I want to ask David if he ever suspected anything during the time he lived here with Dad.”
“Would that make any difference to you?”
Maddie thought about that. “I suppose not. But I’d still like to know.” She slowly shook her head. “God, Syd. All those years, I thought my mother was shutting me out, and all she was doing was keeping my father’s secrets.” She sighed. “She admits now that it was a mistake—that she never should have agreed.” She looked up and met Syd’s eyes. “It was when Dad died that everything started unraveling for her. She nearly had a breakdown—had to take a sabbatical. That’s why she came to Richmond. She wanted to see me—wanted to try and make a start at repairing some of the damage.” She kissed Syd softly on the cheek. “So it turns out that your instincts on that score were right on the money.”
Syd let out a long breath. “How are you now? With Celine?”
Maddie smiled. “Good. Better than good, actually. I mean, we’re still like strangers in some ways, but we’re both determined to reclaim what we lost so many years ago. I can’t tell you what that means to me—to have this chance at getting my mother back. I’m practically giddy whenever I really let myself think about it.”
Syd smiled. “I can certainly understand that.”
Maddie set her coffee mug down in the sink and rubbed her palms together. “I think I’m ready for a little glass of something cold. How about you? Like some wine? Something white to go with that awesome-smelling chicken?”
Syd nodded. “Sure. I need a little splash of it anyway, to deglaze the pan.” She returned the pan to the stove and began to reheat it.
Maddie walked to the wine fridge and pulled out a bottle of Pinot Grigio. “Why does deglazing always sound like you’re about to scrape paint off a window?”
Syd chuckled. “Trust me. With cookware other than this, that can be an apt description.”
Maddie popped the cork with a flourish. “See? Another reason to move in—ready access to great pots.”
“Sweetie, I don’t need any more incentives to make me want to move in with you. What I need is more strength to resist the temptation.”
Maddie handed her the open bottle. “Resistance is futile. I play to win.”
“We’ve had this conversation, Doctor. You’ve already won. You just need to relax and wait a while bef
ore claiming your door prize.”
Maddie sighed. “Delayed gratification?”
“Yep.”
“Damn. I never should have bailed on those twelve steps.”
Syd added a hefty splash of wine to the pan and it hissed and sizzled. “You’re such a nut job.”
“Have I ever told you how much I love your use of scientific terminology?”
“Shut up and pour me a glass of this.” She handed the bottle back to Maddie.
“Anything else I can do to help?” Maddie asked, getting two wine glasses out of the sideboard.
“Yeah. You can set the table and feed Pete. There’s a big can of green beans in the fridge. I’ve been giving him a couple of tablespoons of those with his food to make up for the reduction in volume.”
“Really? How much are you feeding him?”
“A cup and a half per meal. He doesn’t like it, but the beans help bulk it out a bit.”
Maddie looked down at her dog, whose brown eyes were gazing up at her forlornly. “Sorry, buddy. Dodge City has a new sheriff. It’s bigger than both of us.”
MADDIE DIDN’T HAVE any trouble convincing Syd to move down the hall and spend the night with her in the master suite. The greatest challenge she encountered was navigating the back flight of stairs after dinner—a task made more complicated by the fact that Syd had climbed halfway up her body and initiated a passionate assault that didn’t promise to end any time soon.
The reality was that Maddie’s bed was closest to the stairs, and they landed on it in a tangled heap of arms and legs. In retrospect, Maddie doubted whether she would have had the stamina to make it any further. Her head was reeling, and her knees were weak from exhaustion and pent-up passion. With her last few scraps of conscious thought, she realized that finally being here—in her own bedroom, with Syd in her arms—was the fulfillment of her greatest fantasy.
Later, as they lay wrapped up together under the big Amish quilt, Maddie felt a calm and contentment that she hadn’t known for decades—not since she was a child and slept beneath all those pictures of airplanes in the room down the hall. Safe, and surrounded by the love of two adoring parents. Her dreams then were whimsical and fantastic. She’d imagine herself performing daredevil feats of aerobatics high above the earth, without danger and without fear. It never occurred to her to think that girls didn’t do those things—to consider that society or her parents would disapprove or discourage her. So she believed that she could do it all. Could do anything. She lived in a world of limitless possibilities.