by Brenda Novak
He focused on his own cup, finished his coffee and muffin, and crossed the room to set his dishes in the sink. He could make it so that she wasn’t alone anymore, at least for tonight. There was nothing to stop him. Except his conscience. And probably, hopefully, her. “Loneliness makes people do crazy things.”
“Yeah, like having a baby with a stranger.” She gave him a weak smile.
Or taking more from another person than one has a right to take. She was already giving him his baby. He had no right to hope for more.
Marshaling his self-control, he turned and smiled. “Thanks for the coffee. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She finished her own cup, set it on the counter and followed him out. “Good night.”
He reached for the doorknob, hating the thought of going home to his empty bed and cold sheets, when a knock sounded on the opposite side. Surprised, he glanced at his watch, wondering who would be showing up on Macy’s doorstep at nearly eleven o’clock.
The voice that came through the panel explained everything. “Macy, it’s your mother. I know this probably isn’t a good time to barge in, but I haven’t been able to stop crying since you left. I’m sorry I missed the wedding. I think we should talk, honey, don’t you?”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
MACY’S HEART LODGED in her throat. She stared at Thad. He was leaving and it wasn’t even midnight on their wedding night! How would that look? He couldn’t go. Her mother would know something was wrong right away.
“Go get in my bed,” she whispered. “And take off your shirt or pull the blankets up to your neck or something.”
He paused. “What about you? If this were a real marriage, you wouldn’t be dressed, either.”
She glanced down. She was wearing the same outfit she’d had on when they’d visited her mother in Vegas. That would definitely appear strange. “Hurry,” she said as they both dashed down the hall.
Thad peeled off his shirt. His shoes thumped on her bedroom floor almost the same time he landed on the bed with a wump. Macy ducked into the privacy of her closet, stripped and pulled on her thigh-length summer bathrobe.
The pounding outside continued. “Please, Macy. I know it’s your wedding night, but I have to talk to you.”
“Coming,” she hollered, forgetting to sound the least bit tired. “Damn!” she upbraided herself. “She’s going to know. She can’t know.”
She headed out of the room, but Thad called her back. Meeting her halfway, he pulled the pins from her hair and ran his fingers through it, purposely messing it up. “That’s more like it,” he said with a wicked grin. “I’m not so tame that your fancy hairdo would have survived.”
Macy didn’t have time to respond. She darted down the hall just about the time her mother found the key she’d replaced under the mat and started letting herself in. Slowing to a walk, she tried to look sleep-tousled, which was difficult with so much caffeine and adrenaline pumping through her veins.
“Mom?” she asked as if she hadn’t known it was Edna from the first knock.
Her mother entered the living room carrying a suitcase that was almost bigger than she was. How long did she plan to stay?
“I had to come,” she said simply, setting her luggage down in the middle of the floor. “I’m sorry, Macy. I’ve done a lot of thinking today, and…and you’re right. I haven’t been there for you like I should have been. I was hiding from reality, closing my eyes and hoping Haley’s cancer would go away.” Her voice quivered with tears. “I’m getting old, Macy, and I just can’t face another tragedy—not when it means we might lose Haley.”
“Oh, Mom.” Macy embraced her. “I’m sorry, too. You were probably doing the best you could. I just don’t have any reserves right now. And you have helped me a great deal, in many ways.”
Edna sniffed and passed a hand over her wet eyes. “Don’t worry about the money I paid for your rent. That’s not the issue here. I’m your mother, and that’s what family is for. I’m just glad I had it to send. Besides, now that you have a husband to help you, we don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
Another ramification of her bogus marriage. Macy couldn’t help wondering how many more there would be. But she didn’t want her mother’s help anymore, anyway. Almost since the day she’d turned eighteen, she’d taken care of herself, and she liked it that way. After school was out, she’d be able to continue with her medical transcription, in Haley’s hospital room if necessary, and make enough to squeak by. Several of her old clients were already calling to see when she’d be able to start again. Her med school work made her particularly good at deciphering the names of drugs and details of treatment.
“Where’s Thad?” her mother asked. “I feel terrible dropping in on you like this.”
“He doesn’t mind. He’s already asleep.”
“Mom, is that you?” Thad came padding down the hall, wearing one of Macy’s robes, which was stretched taut across his shoulders. The ends couldn’t meet until it reached his waist, and judging from the muscled calves extending below the pink, fuzzy fabric, he had little or nothing else on.
Macy blinked at him in surprise. “I was just telling my mother that you were asleep. There’s no need to wake up, dear. You can talk to her in the morning.”
“Wouldn’t want her to think I’m antisocial,” he said, giving Edna a hug. “I’m glad you came, Mom. Is this your luggage? Do you want me to take it into the guest room?”
“If you don’t mind my staying a few days.”
Only Macy would have noticed the slight hesitation before Thad’s response. “Of course not. We don’t mind, do we, honey?”
Macy forced a smile. “Of course not.”
“Did you hear that?” Edna whispered, fresh tears starting down her face as Thad picked up the suitcase and moved away from them. “He called me Mom, twice!”
“That’s what you asked him to call you,” she mumbled. “Don’t take it personally.”
“What?” Her mother’s forehead wrinkled.
“I said he’s very personable.”
“Oh.” The puzzled look cleared. “I’m so glad you’ve found him. He seems wonderful, Macy, just perfect for you.”
That’s unfortunate, Macy thought, because he might not make it till morning. At least not if I’m strong enough to strangle him.
“Who’s looking after Champ?” she asked, to change the subject as much as to satisfy her curiosity.
“My neighbor. He’s not much for animals, but he’ll watch Champ occasionally, and he’s conscientious about seeing to his needs.”
“That’s good. Well, you’ve got to be exhausted, Mom. It’s late. Why don’t you turn in? We can talk in the morning.”
“I am tired,” Edna admitted. “And I want to get up early to see Haley.”
Macy gave her another quick hug. “Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me.”
Her mother followed Thad into the guest room. Their voices were too low for Macy to hear what they were saying, but she didn’t move any closer. She didn’t want to know. She stood in the living room, staring at nothing, waiting for the house to fall quiet. Then she crept back down the hall to find Thad sitting on the corner of her bed.
“What now?” he whispered when she’d closed the door.
“What now?” she echoed, propping her hands on her hips so she could glare at him properly. “What do you think you were doing calling her Mom?”
“She told me to. I was just trying to play the part, make it believable.”
“There wasn’t any need for you to say anything. I had it all under control.”
“I didn’t want her to think I resented her coming here. She’d think you married a jerk.”
“So what? You’re leaving in nine months!”
“Why make enemies if I don’t have to?”
“Why not? You’re going to tell your family that I ran out on you and our baby. Nothing could make me look worse!”
“But you’ll be gone by then, and you’ll never have to s
ee them again.”
“That’s supposed to make me feel better?”
He scowled. “Yes…no. I don’t know. I didn’t really take the time to analyze it. I just think it’s worth the extra effort to make things pleasant while we’re together. Is there anything wrong with that?”
“No.” Macy closed her eyes and took a calming breath. It wasn’t as though Thad had committed the unpardonable sin. He’d been a little overzealous, that’s all. She just had a hard time with the deception, especially where her mother was concerned. By nature, she was honest and forthright, an open book.
But if she divulged what they were really doing, her mother would try to talk her out of it, or worse, give her the go-ahead and then feel partially responsible for the decision. The lie spared Edna that. It was actually a kindness. And, like Thad had said, there wasn’t any reason things had to be unpleasant.
“I guess I’m just tired,” she said. She looked at the fuzzy, pink bathrobe he was wearing and started to laugh.
He followed her gaze. “It was all I could find,” he said defensively.
“Which was probably your first clue that you should have stayed in bed.”
“I think we’ve already established that. The question is, what do we do now? I mean, your mother is going to find it strange if I go home tonight.”
“Which is exactly why you’re not going anywhere.”
He eyed the bed. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”
“I’m not suggesting anything. This sham of a marriage was your idea, and now we’re stuck, so play your part, as you put it, and get into bed, hubby.”
He rubbed his lip with one finger. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I might…forget myself.”
“Oh, no, you won’t. Because then I’d call the whole thing off.” Macy went into the closet to change. She thought of donning the frumpy old nightgown he’d seen before. It was hanging on a hook only inches away from her and would probably go far toward keeping him from “forgetting himself,” but she couldn’t bear to wear that tonight. It was a matter of feminine pride.
Grabbing the ivory-colored silk pajamas she’d gotten at her bridal shower when she’d married Richard, she pulled them on, instead, came out and flipped off the light. “What are you wearing under that robe?” she asked. “Anything?”
He was still sitting on the bed, his arms on his knees. “A pair of boxers.”
“That’s close to a pair of shorts, anyway. You can sleep in those. Or in your pants.” She shrugged. “Heck, you can even sleep in that gorgeous robe, if you want.”
She climbed in on the right side of the bed, leaving plenty of room for him on the other side. Burrowing beneath the blankets, she adjusted her pillows, rolled onto her side and closed her eyes.
“You’re going to trust me that easily?” he asked.
She kept her eyes closed. “You can sleep on the floor if you want.”
He hesitated, and Macy finally leaned up on one elbow. “Look, I know you won’t try anything. If you were interested in sex, you wouldn’t have cooked up this whole artificial insemination scheme.”
A muscle in his cheek tightened. “I think you’re assuming too much.”
“You still want the baby, right?”
“Of course.”
“Then you won’t do anything to jeopardize our agreement.”
His eyes ran over her, then moved quickly away. She imagined it was because she looked a mess after what he’d done to her hair. “Right.”
“Fine. Good night.” She lay back and closed her eyes again.
After a few minutes, she heard Thad strip. Then the bed creaked and he stretched out beside her, lying on top of the covers.
Suit yourself, she thought, begging sleep to come and carry her away. But something told her it was going to be a very long night.
* * *
MACY COULDN’T turn over. At least she couldn’t turn over and take the blankets with her. Something was tangled in them. Refusing to open her eyes for fear she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep if she did, she fisted her hands in the blankets and pulled. Hard.
Damn! They wouldn’t give an inch, and she was cold!
Reaching out to get a better grip, she encountered something big and warm and…She quickly pulled her hands away as memory flooded her, bringing her instantly awake. Thad was in her bed. The covers wouldn’t budge because he was sleeping on them, and taking up far more than his share of room.
Pressed to the very edge of the mattress, she made a noise of impatience, but he didn’t stir. She leaned up to see if there was possibly more room on the other side of him, but he seemed to have settled himself right in the middle.
“Of course,” she muttered, lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. At least he didn’t snore. Richard had made enough racket to rattle the walls, and used to keep her awake for hours. She’d try to race him to sleep, hoping to slip into oblivion before the snoring started. But at least with Richard she hadn’t had to worry about moving for fear she’d touch him. Feeling like she couldn’t move made her fidget all the more.
Rolling onto her side, she noticed how the moonlight peeked through the partially closed shades, highlighting Thad’s silhouette as he slept, facing her. She could see his stubbled jaw, the contour of his cheek, the thick, dark lashes of one eye.
He had beautiful eyes, she thought, the sexiest pair she’d ever seen. She remembered how they’d lowered to her mouth as he’d bent his head to kiss her at the chapel and wondered what that kiss would have been like had she not taken matters into her own hands.
Would it have been tentative, experimental? No. He was too confident for anything that weak. Possessive? If she were Valerie, maybe. No, she’d guess Thad Winters’s kiss would be gentle yet demanding. His lips would meet and mesh with hers, molding her mouth to his. He’d palm the back of her head and his fingers would delve into her hair as he parted her lips with his tongue to thrust inside. And she’d…oh, God, she’d melt. Her heart was racing just thinking about it.
“You’re staring at my mouth.”
Macy’s gaze flew up and encountered Thad’s eyes, now looking at her with something akin to amusement or curiosity or both. She couldn’t tell. It was too dark.
“You were snoring,” she accused, hoping he couldn’t see her blush.
“It’s pretty tough to snore when you’re not asleep.”
“You were asleep.”
“Not once you starting wiggling around.”
“Well, you were hogging the bed. What was I supposed to do?”
He lifted his head and looked around. “Oh. Sorry.” He slid over, but didn’t turn away.
“Where’s all that bravado you went to bed with?” he asked.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’re hugging that foot of space like you think its home base.”
“I just think you should stay on your own side.”
“Or what?”
“Or nothing. That’s the polite thing to do.”
“But I’m beginning to think you don’t really want me to stay on my side. When a woman looks at a man’s mouth like that, it usually means—”
“Nothing. It meant nothing. I was just wondering how I was going to get all two hundred pounds of you off my blankets.”
“Because you want me beneath them?” His teeth glinted against the darkness as he rolled off the bed and climbed under the covers. “All you had to do was ask.”
And play by the light and easy rules he reserved for all women besides Valerie? “I don’t think I want to be having this conversation.” Not when they were completely alone, with his bare chest gleaming in the silvery light, its muscular contours more tempting to her hands than chocolate.
She started to flounce over, but he caught her arm. Pausing at the contact, she looked up at his face, trying to see through the shadows, then sucked her breath through her teeth when he let his fingers slide ever so lightly all the way down to her hand.
Macy told her flesh not to tingle, but that was a lost cause. The butterflies in her stomach mutinied, as well.
“We could amend our little deal, if you want,” he suggested, drawing back. “I’ve been thinking about it all night. Forget the artificial insemination. We could do it the old-fashioned way. We’re married, after all, and it would be a lot more fun. As long as we both went into it with the understanding that—”
“No.” She didn’t want to hear the understanding. Somehow she knew it would be something quick and temporary. “Our original deal has already changed into something much bigger than I ever dreamed. I think we’d be crazy to complicate the issue further by…by having sex. I know it’s probably been a long time for you, and I’m sorry. A healthy man your age has a strong drive and you probably miss it a great deal, but—”
“Don’t you miss it?” he asked, his eyes glinting in the moonlight.
“I…that’s not the point. I have other things to worry about.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Good night.” Macy turned away from him and curled up, feeling miserable and alone. He’d struck a nerve. She didn’t miss Richard, or sex for the sake of physical gratification. She missed intimacy, unity, sharing her life with someone she loved. The first time, she’d made the mistake of marrying a man who couldn’t think of anything beyond feeding his own ego. But they’d had Haley, and she’d tried to make the most of it. Now that Richard was gone, she wasn’t going to sell herself short again. She wanted to fall in love, raise Haley, have other children. She didn’t want a few nights’ roll in the hay, didn’t want the memory of it when the time came for Thad to move on.
The bed squeaked as Thad rolled away from her.
“Do you have enough covers?” he asked.
“Yeah, thanks.”
“No problem.”
“Did you ever get your sperm count?”
“Yeah. Lots of great swimmers.”