by Brenda Novak
“Are you feeling okay about going ahead with the transplant?” he asked.
Since the decision was made, Macy had felt a measure of peace, but the worry that she’d made the wrong choice was always there in the back of her mind. “I think so.”
Thad leaned back and hooked one arm over his chair. “Who’s going to do it? Dr. Forte?”
“Dr. Vincent. He’s the hematologist.”
“Can you explain how it works?”
“They take the marrow of the donor from the posterior iliac crest—”
“In English, please, Student Doctor.”
She chuckled. “Okay, the marrow is harvested from the donor’s hip joint, usually from a series of small incisions in the back. It looks like blood, but it’s thicker and contains the beginning of all the blood-cell lines. Through a process called hematopoesis, immature white blood cells, red blood cells and platelets are produced and mature to a certain level in the marrow—at this point they’re called stem cells—before they enter the bloodstream.
“And these are part of the body’s immune system?”
“They perform many different functions. Besides fighting infections, they deliver oxygen to the body and control bleeding. Before a bone marrow transplant, the patient’s marrow is destroyed through a series of high-dose chemotherapy and radiation treatments. That’s what they’re doing to Haley now. The transplant will provide her with new marrow containing stem cells that will grow, divide and mature into all the blood-cell lines the body needs.”
“That’s amazing,” Thad said, obviously impressed. “They’ll basically give her a new immune system. But marrow is in the hollow part of bones, right? How do they get at it through small incisions?
“They use a needle-syringe technique.”
“Does it hurt?”
“The donors are under anesthesia so they don’t feel anything, but I’ve heard some say that afterward, it feels like they took a hard fall on ice and landed on their butt. They’re stiff and sore in the hips and back for a couple of days, but they usually stay in the hospital only one night. Most donors are back to work in a couple of days.”
“So how does Haley get these new stem cells?”
“The marrow from the donor is filtered, then injected into one of her veins.”
“Through her catheter? So it won’t be painful for her?”
“No, it won’t hurt her.”
Thad sighed and shifted forward, leaning his elbows on the table. “That’s good news. She seems so fragile. I’ve been worried the procedure would be hard on her.”
“You’ve been very good to her, Thad. I’ve been meaning to tell you that I appreciate the attention you’ve given her. It’s made a big difference in her life.”
“It’s nothing.” He cleared his throat and changed the subject as though her praise embarrassed him. “When’s your mother coming back?”
“She called yesterday. I guess she’s nervous about leaving Champ with the neighbor again. He and Mr. Purdy don’t get along too well, but he’s too big to bring with her and she won’t leave him at a kennel. She says Champ hates it. I think she just hates spending the money. Anyway, she’s not coming until Monday night.”
The waitress brought their food, and they nodded when she offered them fresh-ground pepper and Parmesan on their pastas. Thad had ordered a small, wood-oven-baked pizza, in addition to his pasta. He offered Macy a piece as the waitress left, and she accepted. Topped with red onion, goat cheese, artichoke hearts and pancetta, it smelled delicious.
“Mmm, that’s good,” she murmured around her first bite. “You have excellent taste.”
He quirked an eyebrow at her. “I chose you to be the mother of my child, didn’t I?”
Macy felt a warmth start in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t credit entirely to the excellent food. “What were some of your other candidates like?”
Thad entertained her the rest of the meal with stories of the other applicants and their interviews, gifts and persistence. By the time he paid the bill and escorted her out of the restaurant with one hand on the small of her back, she was wondering why on earth he’d made the concessions he’d made for her. Certainly the other women who’d applied sounded much more eager and far less demanding. But probably none of them had a sick daughter. He really was a soft-hearted guy.
“Thad!” A male voice boomed his name out over the crowd of people still standing by the entryway, waiting to be seated, and Thad turned. Macy followed his gaze to the man she’d met that first day in Thad’s office.
“Kevin, what are you doing here?” Thad asked, clapping his partner on the back.
“Celebrating the Rustler’s Roost account, same as you, probably.” A young, leggy blonde stood next to Kevin, one arm looped through his while she nuzzled his shoulder.
Kevin introduced her as Rhonda, and Macy took her long-fingered hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Same here,” she said.
“Thad’s the man this week,” Kevin announced. “We almost lost the Rustler’s Roost account on Friday, but he talked to Martin and got him to agree to sign the contract next Thursday, after all, providing the costs fall within our estimates.”
Macy glanced up at Thad, wondering why he hadn’t told her about the close call. “What happened?”
“Martin had decided to meet with some other firms, just to see what else is out there,” he told her. “I convinced him there wasn’t any need to do so, that if he didn’t end up liking the ads I’m putting together, we’d come up with something else.”
“And he agreed to stick with you?”
“Fortunately.”
“That’s great,” Macy said.
“It’s better than great,” Kevin added. “Once Rustler’s Roost signs up, we’ll be able to get other restaurants to follow.”
Thad shrugged. “I don’t know if it was as much of a close call as we thought. I think Martin didn’t really want to go through the hassle of meeting with different firms. He just wanted to be reassured he was doing the right thing.”
“Well, he certainly wasn’t letting me assure him of that. He didn’t change his mind until after you called him.” Kevin grinned at Macy. “But enough of business. We have even bigger things to celebrate than the Rustler’s Roost account. Thad tells me you’re expecting.”
Macy cleared her throat. Thad certainly wasn’t wasting any time letting everyone know about the baby, if there was a baby. “Well, we’re not absolutely positive yet, but we’re hopeful.”
“Congratulations,” Rhonda murmured.
Kevin winked at Macy. “Thad’s a very lucky man, Mrs. Winters.”
Thad cocked an eyebrow at his friend, and Kevin put his thumb and finger in the shape of a gun he pretended to fire at Thad. “There it is again. There’s no hope for you, pal,” Kevin said, laughing as he steered his date inside.
“What was all that about?” Macy asked as Thad opened the car door for her.
“Nothing.”
She fastened her seat belt and waited for Thad to come around and get in. “Those knowing glances between you and Kevin meant nothing? I felt like you two had some sort of private joke going between you.”
Thad started the car and eased onto the road. “He wants to date you after we divorce.” He glanced at her. “But you’re not interested, right?”
She wasn’t. From their brief encounter, she could tell Kevin played fast and loose, which wasn’t her type at all, but she wasn’t about to let Thad dictate whom she could see once he tossed her back. “I take it you’re the one who’s not interested in having us date. Is it because of the baby? Are you afraid we might run into each other sometime? That could happen anyway, you know. It’s not like one of us will be moving out of state.”
He took the next turn a little too fast, and Macy grabbed on to her door handle to keep from leaning into him. “He wouldn’t be good for you,” he said. “Kevin doesn’t want to get married.”
“And what makes you think I can’t g
o out with a guy just for fun?”
She could feel Thad studying her in the darkened car. “Is that what you want, Macy? Some fun? Because I could show you that. And you can’t be surprised I’d offer. I know you’re aware of…whatever it is that’s going on between us. I couldn’t be feeling it so strongly if you were oblivious.”
Macy’s breath caught in her throat. “What are you telling me?”
“That I’m frustrated!”
Frustration wasn’t exactly what Macy had been hoping for. She crossed her arms and pretended to be interested in the 7-Eleven on the corner as Thad slowed to turn up into the Avenues. “And you’re taking your frustration out on me?”
“I’m not taking it out on you. I’m telling you that you’re the reason.”
“You don’t think eighteen months without a sex life has anything to do with it?”
“I think seeing you nude has everything to do with it.”
Macy swallowed. “I told you, I didn’t hear you come in—”
He scowled. “I’m not blaming you. It’s my own fault. I thought you might be resting, so I let myself in as quietly as possible, but what I saw hasn’t left me, and I don’t think it’s going to until…”
“Until?” Macy raised her eyebrows in challenge.
He pulled into her driveway and shut off the engine. “Until I see you naked again,” he said softly. “Until I hold you, and mold you to my own body, and hear you cry out my name when I—”
“Stop!” Macy put up a hand to combat the dark intensity of his eyes, the huskiness of his voice. He wasn’t touching her, but his words and the need behind them was enough to raise goose bumps all along her spine, especially when she wanted what he wanted, only worse. If not for that experience at Studio 9, where she’d learned how unsatisfying sex without commitment could be, she probably would have dragged his head to hers and silenced him with a kiss of assent. Instead, she forced herself to open the door and made her trembling limbs support her as she got out.
“I think maybe you should stay at your place tonight,” she said, leaning back into the car.
A muscle clenched in his jaw and his hands tightened around the steering wheel. “You’re not interested?”
“Not interested?” She chuckled incredulously. She’d never wanted a man more. So she told him only a portion of the truth. “Let’s just say I’m not interested in making another mistake,” she said. Then, closing the door, she made her way to the front porch and into the house before she collapsed on the couch and chanted, “I did the right thing. I did the right thing. I did the right thing.”
But no matter how hard she tried to convince herself, her heart always tagged a small question onto the end: “Didn’t I?”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
THAD LET his breath go all at once, feeling as if someone had just knocked the wind out of him. She’d shut him down cold, walked away, told him to go home. She thought making love with him would be a mistake. And he was fairly certain she was right.
Starting the car, he pulled out of the driveway, then paused in reverse for a moment while he struggled with the temptation to go back and bang on the door. He and Macy hadn’t known each other long, but there was definitely a powerful attraction between them. Part of him wanted to act on that attraction in the most literal sense, to confirm he’d been right about the signals she’d been sending him lately, signals that indicated she was every bit as tempted to take their relationship into the physical realm as he was. But she was hurting and looking for an anchor, so he couldn’t put his trust in those signals. No man with a conscience would take advantage of a woman going through what Macy was going through—and he wanted to believe he had a conscience.
Throwing the transmission into drive, he peeled off, hoping to put as much distance between him and her house as possible before he changed his mind. He was going mad with wanting her, but he’d committed himself to support her through the pregnancy, in any way necessary, and he intended to do just that. She was giving him the child he’d wanted. That would have to be enough.
Unfortunately, at the moment, it didn’t feel like enough.
For a fleeting moment, he wondered what might have happened in their relationship if he’d never met Valerie. Maybe he and Macy would have had a chance. There was certainly that spark. He always felt excited at the prospect of seeing her, being with her, and he respected her a great deal.
But he had met Valerie. He’d married her; he’d loved her. And now he couldn’t go on as if she’d never existed. What would that make of his promises? What would it say about his level of commitment?
His cell phone rang, and Thad answered, trying to mask his frustration with the Macy situation. There was no way to win here. He couldn’t have her, and he couldn’t leave her alone. Perhaps, if she wasn’t already pregnant, they should call the whole thing off…
It was his mother. “Hi, Mom. How’s Haley?” he asked.
“She’s tired. Debra is sitting with her while she sleeps. Are you and Macy back from dinner?”
“Yeah.”
“Is she studying, then?”
“No, I think she’s studied all she can for one day. She’s taking a break.”
“Perfect. I have a surprise for her I’d like to bring over.”
Thad pictured Macy’s stiff carriage as she let herself into her house. “Um, we’re kind of tired, Mom—”
“We didn’t get to be part of the wedding,” June said, accusation ringing loud and clear in her voice.
“I know. I’m sorry. Considering the situation, we thought it best to elope.”
“You didn’t want your family to share in your happiness?”
“It wasn’t that.”
“Well, you could have told us, at least. We would have liked to give Macy a bridal shower or something.”
Thad’s hold on his temper was tenuous at best. He was hurting and angry and frustrated all at once, and the tension had been mounting from the moment he’d married Macy. Struggling to keep his voice neutral, he said, “The truth is, Mom, Macy and I have had a little disagreement. I’m heading home tonight. Alone.”
“Oh!” Silence, then, “What did you say to her?”
“Nothing.” How did he tell his mother that it was what he couldn’t say to her that was the problem? He wanted to give Macy his heart, but he’d already promised forever to Valerie. He could only offer his body.
“Then what happened?”
“Mom, I don’t want to talk about it. Don’t worry. We’re newlyweds, just getting used to each other. It’ll be okay in the morning.”
“Your father and I have been married thirty-five years and have never gone to bed angry at each other. It’s not right. If you want a marriage to last, you have to swallow your pride on a regular basis. Now turn yourself around and go back to her. It doesn’t matter who was at fault. She needs you.”
“I’m the last thing she needs right now.”
“Then you’re not thinking of her and that poor child,” she argued. “It’s no wonder Macy’s having a hard time. There’s nothing worse than watching your own child suffer—”
“She’s mine now, too,” Thad said, then wondered where the hell that had come from. Haley wasn’t his. She never would be. Apparently he was taking his part as Macy’s husband a little too seriously.
“I know, dear, but it’s not quite the same. Macy’s been going through this for almost a year. It’s a wonder she’s managing as well as she is.”
The guilt pressing down on Thad’s chest grew heavier. Thanks, Mom.
“Go back and tell her you love her,” June continued. “Then put your house up for sale. It’s not good for you to have somewhere like that to hide out.”
“We’re keeping the house, Mom, for when Macy graduates from school. We won’t need to stay so close to the university anymore.” Which sounded good. He only hoped his mother would buy it.
“Then keep it,” she said, “but don’t stay there alone.”
Thad sighed. Seein
g the situation from his mother’s perspective, he had to admit it was good advice. He’d already learned from Valerie that the classic male response of retreating into silence and waiting for the argument to blow over wasn’t half as effective as talking it out. But June didn’t know the whole story this time, that Macy was actually safer without him, and Thad wasn’t about to enlighten her.
“Are you turning back?” she asked.
Torn, Thad gave his mother a noncommittal reply, then drove slowly on home.
* * *
WHEN THE DOORBELL rang, Macy looked through her peephole and groaned. It was her in-laws. Her temporary in-laws. And she was at her worst. Dressed in a shabby knee-length robe, she felt frustrated, tired, worried, and she missed Thad.
Tightening her belt, she ran her fingers through her hair to tame it and took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure she wanted company, but she certainly couldn’t leave June and Sam standing on the porch.
“Hi, there!” she said, throwing the door back and smiling with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.
“Hi, dear.” June hugged her instantly and Sam did the same. “How are you?”
You mean other than the fact that I’m head over heels in love with your son, who has no room in his heart for me, and my daughter is in the hospital?
“Fine.” Fortunately, the automatic response easily overrode her thoughts. Stepping back, Macy beckoned them in. “What a pleasant surprise.”
June and her husband stepped inside and looked around, nodding their heads in satisfaction. “Oh, this is beautiful.”
Macy knew Thad’s house was twice as nice, but June seemed sincere. “Thanks. Please, make yourselves comfortable.”
She indicated the couch, and they positioned a purple gift bag between them before sitting down.
“I just talked to Thad,” June said, looking sympathetic. “He told me about your little disagreement.”
Macy blinked. “He did?”
“Yes, he said it was just a lovers’ quarrel, but I wanted to let you know not to worry about it. Disagreements are bound to happen in any marriage. But he’s a good boy. He’ll come around.”