‘Don’t!’ Nancy warned and then turned back to Jack. ‘Sweetheart, it’s a bad word – a swear word. I don’t want you to worry about what it means.’
‘OK.’ He put his head phones on but then took them off again and looked back at her. ‘It feels funny though.’
Nancy frowned. ‘What does?’
‘The word.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘The word – feels funny on my mouth when I say it. Shh-i-tttt,’ he said as he broke the word down.
‘Oh my word…’ Nancy put her head in her hands as the woman sitting next to them with her husband glanced over to them as Jack continued his vocabulary building.
‘Shh-i-tttt, shh-i-tttt, shit!’
‘Ok that’s enough Jack!’ Nancy placed a hand on his arm to bring him out of his daydream and she could hear Harriet cackling next to her. ‘I don’t want you saying it anymore; it’s a naughty word, OK?’
Jack nodded and then resumed his viewing at the end of her sun lounger. Nancy looked over to Harriet who was trying to contain her amusement but doing a terrible job at it. ‘Don’t you start!’
‘Babe, he is hilarious. I love that about him – he has no idea what he’s saying.’ She quoted him: ‘Shh-i-tttt ! He’s doing his phonics bless him! I think his teacher would be impressed.’
‘Ooh my word, could you imagine:
(Mock teacher voice) Jack, what did you get up to over your half term?
(Lowers voice) I practised my phonics whilst I was on holiday.
(Teacher voice) Oh how wonderful, what did you learn?
(Lowers voice) Shh – I – ittt – SHIT!’
Harriet threw her head back onto her lounger as she cackled again. ‘I would pay money to see that actually happen.’
‘Shut up!’ Nancy pulled the cocktail that was hers from Harriet’s hand. ‘Give me this, I bloody need it.’
Nancy sipped her drink but then noticed the woman next to them still looking over disapprovingly. She could see her looking at Jack, sitting on the end of the lounger, his head in his iPad, and wrapped up in several layers of clothing even though it was 40 degrees and blazing sunshine. She felt the anger begin to bubble up inside, but she suppressed it. It wasn’t worth the argument.
‘Is there something we could help you with? Maybe you’re wondering where my friend’s son got his beautiful cap from with the little flap at the back to protect his neck? Did you like the orange colour or was it the polar bear on the front that got you interested?’ Harriet challenged.
‘Hari, leave it. It’s fine.’ Nancy knew what her friend was like. Fiercely protective of those around her which was a beautiful trait to have, but highly embarrassing when she didn’t know when to let things go. Once she was on one, that was it.
‘I wasn’t staring at your child,’ the woman replied, defiantly.
‘Hmm, well I beg to disagree with you. Is there a problem?’
Harriet was now sitting up on her lounger and Nancy put her hand on her arm to warn her to chill out. Jack was none the wiser, still fixated on his screen.
‘Mummy, did you see my jump? I jumped right in and the water went in my face,’ Isla giggled as she ran over from the toddler pool in front of them, her little pink tutu style swimming costume flapping as she ran, mimicking her curls.
‘This is my child if you wanted to have another object to stare at and my baby is in the crèche – he’s only one so does a lot of screaming if you wanted some more noise?’
Nancy gently pulled Isla over to her and sat her on her lap as she looked confused and a little worried at her mum’s tone – she could hear she was angry.
‘I wasn’t staring at your child; I was simply appalled by his choice of language.’
‘Oh, shit? You didn’t like the word shit?’
‘It’s no wonder he speaks like that if he’s surrounded by people like you. And with his head in his iPad – he should be out playing, not sat with that thing. That’s what’s wrong with parents of today, letting their offspring spend hours on tablets and computers. In my day we were all outside climbing trees and playing tag.’
‘Are you for real, lady?’
‘Hari, leave it.’
‘No, Nance, this woman thinks she can just sit here and be all bloody judgemental about our children and our parenting when she knows nothing about our situations.’ She turned around to fully face the woman. ‘For your information, this woman never swears in front of her son, he has heard the word from elsewhere and simply asked what it meant. As a good parent, my friend didn’t shout or berate him; she simply explained that it was a bad word and that he didn’t need to know what it meant. And because he is a child, he commented on how the word felt and was experimenting with his sounds and learning. He wasn’t abusive in the way he said it and quite frankly, I don’t think he said it too loudly either.’ The woman stayed defiant but Nancy could see a flicker of regret over her face as she was clearly now realising she’d picked the wrong parent to judge. ‘And yes, he is on an iPad, but did you ever stop to think that there might be a reason for that?’
‘What reason could you possibly have to—’
‘Oh, I see,’ Harriet laughed excessively over the top. ‘You’re a professional child psychologist, I didn’t realise. My mistake!’
‘I’m not a professional—’
‘Exactly! You’re not – so why don’t you keep your nose out of our business!’
Nancy leaned forward so the woman could see her face. ‘My son has autism. He struggles in social situations and doesn’t like loud noises – like the screaming you can hear where the other kids are having fun. And he doesn’t like changes in routine – like this holiday. So for him to feel comfortable, he likes to watch videos on his iPad and use his headphones so that the noise isn’t too much. The alternative would be a breakdown, and I’m guessing you wouldn’t appreciate that either, or for my son to feel anxious and very poorly. And I’m not willing to do that. He’s not hurting you by sitting here minding his own business, so I would appreciate you giving him the same respect and leaving him be without feeling the need to stare at him.’
Her heart was racing. There had been numerous times over the years where people had stared and given judgemental looks to Nancy and Jack and she’d never addressed the issue. But today was different, this holiday felt different. She still had her concerns about him and his future, but she felt stronger in her approach to coping with it. Seeing Pete before she’d left had put a finality on the last few years, and now she felt like she was moving forward. Yes, she’d had a hiccup on their first day with Jack’s incident with the kids’ club lady, but she was starting to realise new things about her son every day. This in itself was making her feel stronger. When she heard Harriet defending Jack, she felt this overwhelming urge to take over and put the record straight. Because she wasn’t ashamed of Jack.
She and Harriet clearly had different ways of handling things though.
The woman gathered up her things and began to tell her husband that they were moving away from this revolting family and something about how autism wasn’t even a real thing and in her day…
‘In your bloody day lady, everyone probably had their heads stuck in their arses and a closed mind. Times have changed – deal with it!’
The woman huffed and put her belongs in her bag, waiting for her husband to get up.
There was a silence between the two groups of people and the tension was high but Nancy glared at Harriet to warn her to stay quiet now – keep the moral high ground after their speech. But Isla didn’t seem to get the memo.
‘Nancy, what does arse mean?’
Harriet burst out laughing as Nancy put her head in her hands.
Chapter 17
Nancy walked into the reception area that afternoon to book a table for dinner that night. After consulting with the children, which had been challenging, they’d finally all agreed to eat at the buffet restaurant again as they did the pasta that Jack liked, the garlic c
iabatta for Isla and Harriet was happy as long at the restaurant had gin. Everyone was a winner.
Nancy scanned the foyer whilst she waited for the woman at reception to complete her booking and was surprised to see Cameron sitting on the cushioned benches by the pool entrance, looking a bit stressed out. She watched him for a minute as he sat with one leg bent underneath him, tapping away at his phone. His face was crumpled with frustration and occasionally he would exhale in what seemed to be annoyance at whatever he was reading. Nancy figured he must be like Harriet and have work stuff that he had to keep doing whilst he was away. Nancy knew he was a single parent, but she also desperately wanted to know his backstory – he looked the type to be harbouring a complicated past.
‘That’s all done for you, booked for 5 p.m., just give your room number to the maître D’.’
‘Thanks.’ Nancy smiled as she took her card and began to leave but decided – on impulse – to turn around and say hi to Cameron. If he was busy she would just leave him to it.
She walked over to him and he must’ve been enthralled in what he was doing because he didn’t even notice her approaching until she said, ‘Hey!’
He snapped his head up in surprise. ‘Oh, hey.’ A smile spread across his face in welcome, but it looked strained. He had lines around his eyes – she hadn’t noticed those before – and there were noticeable bags under each eye. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m good. You?’
‘Yeah, not bad.’ She could see he wasn’t great.
‘How’s Jack doing? Is he enjoying the holiday?’ His phone vibrated, and she watched him try to glance at it discreetly, his temples bulging as he read whatever message had come through. He looked back at her and smiled again with the strained smile.
‘He’s OK, finding it a little stressful with the heat but he’s enjoying it, I think.’ He was finding it more than a little stressful, but Cameron didn’t need to know the ins and outs of her complicated family issues. ‘How about Aiden?’
‘Yeah, he’s good.’ He stood up. ‘Listen, I’m sorry but I have to rush off. It was really nice seeing you again. Have a good afternoon.’ And he didn’t even wait for her reply before walking off at speed towards the stairs leading up to the rooms.
Nancy walked back to Harriet and the children, Cameron’s quick exit playing on her mind. It was the second time he’d walked off abruptly now – maybe she needed to start taking the hint. Now she was feeling like a bit of an idiot for thinking he might be interested.
‘All booked?’ Harriet asked, and then spotted the frown on Nancy’s face. ‘What’s up?’
‘I just bumped into Cameron. Well, when I say bumped into, he was in the foyer on his phone so I went up to him and said hi.’
‘Ok, so why the frown, did he tell you he wasn’t interested?’
‘You make it sound like I was pestering him for a date! I’m only being friendly, I don’t want anything else.’
‘Yeah, likely story.’
‘Hari!’
‘What? He’s hot, he’s single, you’re single … I’m struggling to see the problem here.’
‘I am not looking to tie myself up in a relationship right now – I’ve got all the issues at home with Pete and things are going to be more stressful once we get home and we try to get Jack into a new routine with Pete involved, I don’t need the added complication.’ She was saying what her head was telling her – however, she couldn’t help but be a little disappointed that Cameron clearly wasn’t thinking about her the way she had started to realise she was thinking about him.
‘Holiday romance?’ Harriet pressed. Nancy raised her eyebrow. ‘Oh come on, I’m not saying you have to marry the guy, just that you deserve to let your hair down a bit. That’s all.’ She turned over and lay on her stomach, exposing her back for tanning.
‘I don’t need to let my hair down and have a holiday romance, I’m just trying to be a friend to him. His little boy was so sweet with Jack, it might be nice to try and encourage that relationship, that’s all.’
‘Uh-huh,’ Harriet replied and Nancy could hear the smile on her face even though she had buried it into the sun lounger.
‘Anyway … I went over and said hi but he seemed really stressed out and said a few words then made an excuse and left. Quite abruptly I might add!’
‘Maybe you’ve scared him off.’
‘Oh, if you’re going to be unhelpful then forget it.’ Nancy plonked her stuff down and began stripping off, revealing her swimsuit.
Harriet pulled her face up and rested on her elbows. ‘I’m not being unhelpful, I don’t know what you want me to say? He’s obviously having a bad day – just let him get on with it.’ Nancy ignored the comment. ‘I have exactly—’ Harriet looked at her watch which was resting on the floor next to her phone ‘—32 minutes until I have to make that conference call so I’m going to grab as much sun as possible.’
Chapter 18
‘I hope you’re taking a proper break and looking after those children of yours.’
Harriet stared back at her mother on the screen. She didn’t know what possessed her to answer the Skype call once she had finished her conference call with work, but her mum’s name had flashed up on the computer as calling and she’d clicked answer before she’d even thought about what she was doing.
‘I’m taking a break, Mum.’
‘So why are you in your room on your computer then?’
Harriet felt her cheeks flush red and contemplated lying. Instead she chose to bend the truth. ‘I came up to the room to get Isla’s goggles and saw you were calling.’ It wasn’t strictly a lie. She had said to Isla that she would bring her goggles back down with her once she had finished her conference call.
‘Harriet, I am your mother and I can tell when you are lying. If there’s one thing I hate more than salespeople knocking on my door whilst I’m trying to watch Neighbours, it’s when people lie. And you, my darling, are lying.’
Harriet exhaled, feeling like a teenager again having been told off many times by her mum for lying when she got in late from parties after curfew. ‘I just needed to make a quick conference call, so I came up to do that and am now on my way back down to the pool. Isla is playing in the water with Nancy; she’s having a great time. She doesn’t even know I’m gone.’ This statement hurt more than Harriet liked to admit. If there was one thing she wished she was better at, it was being a mum. She sucked at it. Massively sucked at it. She had the perfect image in her head when she first fell pregnant, of juggling work and parenthood and achieving everything on both levels. In reality, she struggled to achieve consistently in both, one always had to give. Harriet’s natural talent lay in the boardroom. She was incredibly good at her job and always did well in her career – which was why it made sense to start her own company. However, motherhood didn’t have the same effect on her and she had to try really hard at it. She didn’t like to fail at things. So rather than admit she was failing, she found it easier to pretend that everything was fine and not listen to the fact that she knew her children didn’t see her as much as they should. Or that sometimes the time she spent with them was half-hearted because she was afraid to get too far in and realise how rubbish she was at it.
‘And Tommy?’ Her mother asked.
‘What about him?’
‘Where is he?’
Harriet knew the lecture that was coming as the words came out of her mouth in a defeated tone. ‘He’s at the kids’ club.’
And here it came.
‘Harriet, why on earth are you putting him in kids’ club when you’re away on holiday? He should be with his family. This isn’t a working holiday; it’s for you to be seeing those kids of yours because they need to know that Mummy is there for them, and that she doesn’t always have her nose stuck in the computer.’
‘I am there for them! I work bloody hard so that I can be there for them. You don’t realise how hard it is to be a single mother who is working full-time and trying to keep a company going whilst
keeping a house going too.’ As soon as she said it she regretted it. She should know by now, never to answer her mum back. She would never back down. It was where Harriet got her business head from and her spunkiness in the boardroom – no one messed with her. Apart from her mum, of course.
‘I don’t understand?’ The emphasis on I set the tone for how the rest of this argument went. ‘Do you not remember how I juggled looking after you and your sister when your father left? And you say I don’t know what it’s like to be a single parent?’
‘With all due respect mum, you weren’t working though so you could afford to put in the time with us.’
‘So now I’m not good enough because I wasn’t working – because I was a stay-at-home mum?’
‘Oh for goodness’ sake mum, that’s not what I am saying.’ Harriet put her head into her hands and clenched her teeth. Why had she picked up the call? She should know by now, never pick up the call unless she had a G&T in her hand.
‘I suppose your sister doesn’t understand either seeing as she is just a stay-at-home mum.’
This was a lost cause. ‘I’m not saying that Mum, and you know it. I’m just saying that I’m trying to keep my business afloat so that I can provide for my children because my arsehole of a husband didn’t stick around to pay maintenance or anything, did he? He just fu— … went off.’ She curbed her language remembering who she was speaking to.
‘You could provide for your children by getting a job during school hours and then being there to pick them up – I was always there for you and Bethany at the end of the day. You were never picked up by anyone else. I always made you nutritious meals – from scratch – and every time you needed a costume for a play I would spend hours hand stitching one for you. When do you ever get time to do any of that with your full-time job, huh?’
Harriet was forced to think of the throw together meals she served her children, last minute dashes to the shop for whatever costume was left the night before World Book Day (mostly superheroes) and all the times she’d spent running into the playground with her phone glued to her ear shouting Thanks, sorry! to the teacher who was sitting with her child because she was late – yet again. ‘I’m trying my best, Mum.’
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